And we're back! Thanks for the reviews! (Beth-you are so nice. I see your name on the review thing and I'm like "She totally just made my day!") BTW, on the way home my bus driver was blaring 80's music, which I have nothing against, but now all I can hear is "My lips are sealed" and "Don't stop believin".
Max II: And all I can hear is her singing "I don't give a damn about my bad reputation!"
Me: That song is awesome.
Max II: Leave the singing to the professionals, and it might stay awesome.
Me: "You're wack, you're twisted, your girl's a hoe. You're broke, the kid ain't yours, and everybody know. Your old man says your stupid, you be like, 'So? I love my baby mother, I never let her go!' Ya'll gon make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here. Ya'll gon make me go all out, up in here, up in here. Ya'll gon make me act a fool, up in here, up in here. Ya'll gon make me lose my cool, up in here, up in here."
Max II: And if there is a god, she will stop trying to rap Run DMX lyrics.
Me: Funky Cold Medina is epic.
Max II: Good news: She doesn't know all the lyrics to it!
Me: Yet.
Max II: That one word is why I scream at the top of my lungs when she's about to go on Youtube.
Me: Youtube and Google are going to take over the world. . . I can see it happening.
Max II: I could've at least gotten kidnapped by a serial killer or just a down-right lunatic. Maybe even a nice cannobalistic giant. But no. I get kidnapped by a crazy teenage girl who thinks Google is taking over the world. Just my luck.
Me: Anyways, we had a very eventful weekend!
Max II: Please don't tell them.
Me: I -well, we- babysitted my little cousins!
Max II: And of course you tell them.
Me: But it's funny!
Max II: No it's not.
Me: Well, maybe not for you. To everyone else it was hilarious.
Max II: The cops didn't find it very funny. Or the kids mother.
Me: So, long story short, Max II is officially a pedophile.
Max II: I almost got busted by the po-po.
Me: Okay, since I don't want you guys thinking she raped a little kid and I'm harboring a real pedophile in my house, she didn't technically violate anyone's um. . . personal space.
Max II: I lost her cousins.
Me: At a public playground.
Max II: They just disappeared!
Me: You see, she lost my cousins when I went to the bathroom and she got distracted by a bird.
Max II: And when the bird flew away, they weren't playing in the snow anymore!
Me: Yeah, that's a 5 and 7 year old for ya'.
Max II: And then that damn kid wouldn't tell me squat about whether he had seen them or not.
Me: Max II- "Hey, little boy there. On the swing. Yeah, you. Have you seen two little kids about yay high, boy and girl, brown hair?" Okay, first thing she does wrong. I could look around and point out about 5 kids, both boys and girls, yay high with brown hair. Then, when he just looks at her like she's lost her mind . . . "Do you know how to talk? They're friends of mine, and I'd like to find them so we can play. Here, I think I've got a couple pieces of gum in my pocket if you help me find them. They have sugar!" Second, third, and fourth thing she does wrong. She insults the kid, tells him they are friends and wants to "play with them", then offers him candy.
Max II: He ran away screaming, "RAPIST!!!!" Ungrateful little brat. I'd of found them kids and got some damn gum.
Me: His mom called the cops on her.
Max II: Do you know what it's like to see the flashing lights in the distance and know they're coming for you? No, I guess you don't. Why would a person with a criminal record read this shit?
Me: She booked and I stayed behind to find Jenna and Ronnie (my cousins). They were looking at another kids collection of weird, random things. We came home and the police report was already on the tv. And you know what? Her police sketch looked like Janet Jackson!
Max II: I made a sandcastle!
Me: Actually, it was more like a snowcastle. And you really love to change the subject, don't you?
Max II: It was still cool looking!
Me: It looked like two sibling trailers mated and had a mutated trailer child.
Max II: What's wrong with being mutated!?
Me: Um. . . . Oh, shit.
Max II: 'Oh, shit?' OH, SHIT? That's all you have to say when you completely insulted all mutants!?
Me: Sorry? It was completely unintentional!
Max II: I should call up all the mutants I know and sick them on your ass!
Me: You don't know any mutants.
Max II: Well I'll get Senor Fluffers!
Me: Senor Fluffers? How do you know about Senor Fluffers? I haven't told you about Senor Fluffers!
Max II: He snuck out when you fell asleep. He's my only accomplice in escape.
Me: Unfortunately, he's a transporting pen who only speaks in random single sentences that make no sense whatsoever. The only person-um, pen- who can understand him is his cousin Brite who is in the custody of UnderlanderfromtheOverland.
Senor Fluffers: If your pee is green you need an elephant!
Me: Yeah, some accomplice.
Max II: We're working on the communication skills.
Me: And how's that working out?
Senor Fluffers: Tell Brite we have a bigger vacuum than the stop sign!
Max II: Um. . . not so well.
Me: I can see that.
Max II: You know how they say you can get high off sniffing Sharpies?
Me: Yeah. . .
Max II: You don't keep him near Sharpies, do you?
Me: What are you getting at?
Max II: I bet he's high as a kite.
Me: Can pens get high?
Max II: If there were one pen in the entire world that could get high, it'd be him. Wait, it is him.
Me: Alright, bye everyone!
Max II: That's such a random bye.
Me: Bye! Come back!
Max II: Bye! If you don't come back she'll let me go!
Me: Review!
Max II: No! Don't!
Me: Tell them to review or I'll pay Senor Fluffers to follow you around constantly!
Max II: Pay him with what?
Me: Pot.
Max II: REVIEW!!!!!!!!
Me: Much better. You heard her! REVIEW!!!!!!!! Wait, where the hell did Senor Fluffers go?
Max II: *sighs* I'll go check the cupboards. . .
Max II: We updated this chapter, then realized that she had spelled Senor wrong. Multiple times. How do you spell Senor wrong?
Me: I don't know. It'd be okay if it was just once, but it was like 5 times. I'm such a ditz.
Max II: Well it's nice that you can accept that.
Me: Anyways. . . We just thought we would inform you that we fixed the pathetic typo.
Max II: I'd like to put emphasis on pathetic.
Me: Oh, shut up. No one cares what you put emphasis on.
Max II: I bet they do.
Me: I bet they don't.
Max II: Yes they do!
Me: No they don't!
Max II: Do!
Me: Don't!
Max II:Do!
Me: Don't!
Max II: Do!
Me: Don't!
Max II: THEY DO DAMN IT!!!
Me: Wow, your face is the color of Clifford the Big Red Dog!
Max II: *steaming with anger*
Me: HAHA! And while she's cooling off (literally) we're gonna say goodbye and good-day. Review!