Organizational Flaws

Ch 5

What is it with Dramatic Irony?

A/N: I actually don't have anything to say….

Currently, I stood in front of the new soda machine I had managed to knick from some website known as eBay, my 'emotions' spiking. I needed a little caffeine, the effective remedy when one is distressed, but couldn't bring myself to do more than stare at my reflection in the glass and mutter (or in some sentences cases, shout) nonsense at my distorted mirrored image.

"Ugh, I can't figure this stupid thing out!" I screamed at the machine.

My problem at the moment? Mechanical items are usually the hardest to figure out how to work. And this stupid machine was one of the things that toke a little more than just plugging the cord into the wall to get its clock ticking. Not that soda machines had clocks, but still.

Roxas, in all his stupid, golden haired glory, was at the moment sighing heavily at my stupidity and egging me to forget about the caffeine filled mechanism.

"Would you just read the manual? I doesn't hurt to do that you know! Hurry up, we have a mission," He told me.

"I can't just read a manual! To understand a machine, it takes more than just reading the book. What if the Keyblade came with an instruction guide, huh? Then would you be as good at it (If your good at it at all, that is) if you had just read some stupid piece of paper? Or do you not know how to read?"

The blond male glared at me as I mimicked him opening a pamphlet and slowly read the imaginary strokes of literature. "To…use the key…." I squinted my eyes, as if having trouble. "-blade, hold by the… gold or silver handle and swing wildly with carelessness at enemies."

Pretending to close the 'book' I grinned at him. "But of course, you already do swing carelessly, so I guess you must have read a handbook."

He shot eye-daggers at me. "Shut up!"

I stuck my tongue out at him and shrugged my shoulders.

"Make me! Any ways, as I was saying, I have to figure this out!" I shouted, newfound hope inspiring me as I punched the machine lightly.

"Well, what is there to figure out? You put the munny in, you pick a soda, you drink the soda, and then we go on our mission!" Roxas told me, dropping the previous verbal joust as he stood.

"Munny? I have to use my munny on it?" I glared. "Screw that."

With a stroke of my hand, my pride appeared, taking form in the shape of a Keyblade.

"I refuse to pay this thing munny just to get a little sugar!" With three slashes, I cut a large 'H' into the front of the machine and pulled the metal pieces back.

I sheathed my weapon and sighed as I eyed the contents of the machine, as Roxas sweat dropped behind me. I could hear him mutter 'idiot', behind me, but oh well.

"Aw man!"

"What?" he asked.

"I can't decide which Mountain Dew to get! Regular, or Code Red, Regular, or Code Red!" I gave a cry of exasperation.

Roxas looked at me for a moment like I was crazy, spent another moment blinking, and then he clutched his sides and laughed loudly.

"That's it?" he asked me, wiping a tear from his eye.

I nodded, pathetically, but never the less!

. "Help me!"

"Okay….get Code Red," he told me.

"Thanks, why didn't I think of that before?" I asked myself, pressing the button.

"The world may never know." He replied.

Somewhere around our time of bickering, Axel appeared, seeming mildly amused.

"So let me get this straight; you need my help to figure out which Mountain Dew to drink, when one of the rules in the Organization specifically say for you of all Nobodies to not have sugar concentrates of any kind?" Roxas continued.

"Oh Lord…" Axel shook his head. "I chose a bad time to enter your room."

"Out!" I shouted, tossing an empty soda can at him, which he easily dodged.

"Just hurry! I don't know if you remember or not, but you've got a mission to prepare for." He replied, obviously amused at my crazed expression.

"I'm prepared, I'm prepared! Geez…"

Roxas and Axel were loitering in the downstairs area, neither surprised when a crash sounded from the upper level, coming from the direction of my room.

Xaldin flew by them, in a huff, as I ran after him and tossed glass items in the direction of his head. The stupid menace was so annoying!

"Take that!" I shouted, glaring as I aimed another shot for his head.

Xaldin turned, and summoned his six lances in a cloud of wind and dust.

"Oh crap!" I squeaked, turning tail and running back down the hall.

Axel and Roxas, the rather unhelpful bystanders, exchanged looks.

"Well…" Roxas trailed.

"Even though half the members were eliminated at Castle Oblivion, she still manages to tick someone off," Axel concluded.

They both cringed when they heard a loud bang, and Xaldin strutted back into the room, headed for a couch near the window, and it was obvious to them he hadn't been injured. I, on the other hand, hobbled back down the stairway, clutching my foot and moaning painfully, muttering 'ouch, ouch, ouch' as I hopped over to my friends.

"What did you do?" Roxas asked, his eyes laughing.

"Oh shut it!" I glared at him. "I didn't do anything!"

Axel laughed, disbelievingly.

"Seriously, Max, what did you do?"

I sighed. "Since you two think I did something, I'll explain the story. Well, Xaldin tried to destroy my soda machine so that I wouldn't have anymore soda, so I bonked him across the head with my Keyblade and he hit me with a lance. He realized he messed up when I grabbed a bunch of red glass vases and_"

"Wait!" Axel interrupted. "Those weren't my glass vases, were they?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, in that conniving, devious way I do.

"Paybacks an itch, isn't it?" I snickered. Axel opened his mouth to shriek a stream of naughty and profound words at me, but I completely ignored him as I cheered.

"Anyways!" I brightened, ignoring his protests. "He chased after me again."

"And why are you hopping on one foot?" Roxas asked. It seemed now we both were ignoring Axel, who stood in the background puffing his cheeks at us, insulted that neither Roxas nor I were even acting like he existed anymore.

"Because I kind of sort of messed up when I kind of sort of used a sledgehammer and kind of sort of hurt myself instead of him…" I trailed sheepishly.

Roxas shook his head at me, laughing. "Max, you're crazy!"

"What was your first clue?" I asked.

By then, Axel had given up on getting us to notice him and had readied a black hole looking portal for us to walk through. Roxas shook his head, still laughing as we stepped through the portal to go off to execute our mission.

"Cant I catch a break?" I shouted at the stupid fat heartless in front of me, who had managed to parry and counter every single one of my attacks, leaving him scratch-less and me pissed and bloody.

The obese thing (for lack of any better word for it) shot a link of fire at me and I screeched, rolling out of the way in just enough time.

Spitting a salty mixture of red saliva out of my mouth, I glared at it furiously. "You know what? Fine! I'm going to stab you right in the stomach, and rib, and let's see how much jelly a fat heartless can let out before it dissolves!" I ran forward, my Keyblade thrusting forward.

Which was the stupidest thing I could do, and that, I quickly found out.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Roxas sigh and slap his hand to his forehead, shaking his head lightly as I went in for the 'kill'.

My Keyblade made contact with the heartless's stomach all right-and bounced off. I staggered back and fell over, exasperated. "What the heck!"

"Idiot!" Roxas told me. "Its stomach is covered with a guard plate! Duh! You have to aim for the head!"

"Right! I knew that!" I jumped up, and stumbled back down again.. I felt a little nag in the back of my head, and it pulled at me. It was kind of like a voice, like in Star Wars and Obeone Kenobi tells Luke to use the force.

Suddenly, memories flew through my head.

"Such a wuss!" The taller guy spat at me as I lay on the ground, bloody and bruised.

"So weak," another agreed. "And she actually had the nerve to get in our way when we were beaten up the other loser."

The three boys stood above me, muttering smart remarks as each took turns kicking me. I was on the verge of blacking out, but I had to stay strong, I had to find some way to get away from here…if only I had stayed home. If only I wasn't going to run away… this wouldn't have happened.

"Speaking of, whered the pipsqueak go?"

They looked around as I slowly tried to pull myself to my feet again, but with no avail as they hit me again, forcing me to spit blood.

"You idiot! You made us lose the other guy! That bastard owed us munny!" the gang leader screamed at me.

"Well….you guys shoulda…" I shuttered as a cold spell passed through me. "Thoughta that before ya…" I coughed violently, salty particles filling my lungs. "Let me interfere."

"Stop talking, maggot." Another gang member kicked me, smack dab center of my face. I could feel my nose break, but refused to cry out. It would have only egged them on. "Its to bad your not pretty. Then we could have had a little bit more of a use for you. Oh well."

And after that, my vision faded, the last thing I saw being their shoed feet as the walked away, leaving me there in the middle of the night.

AndWith that, I found myself forced back into the crushing, confusing reality. "What the hell…?" Xenmas had said that I hold half of Roxas's power...Maybe I had half his memories to or something…but that wouldn't have made sense because they were saying I wasn't pretty… what gang members would say that to a guy? Unless they were gay gang members, which was highly unlikely.

Stopping my fight in the middle of a battle field was probably the stupidest thing I could do, but hey, could you blame me? An obese heartless and all his jiggle rolls was advancing towards me, and this entire time, I hadn't noticed it a bit. Lucky me.

Smartly enough, I was prepared enough to jump high in the air in time and land a killing blow to the fat things head, and as its last action the thing exploded, impaling me with bits of metal and sticky gooey chunks of raw heartless bits.

I landed uncomfortably onthe ground after hitting a wall, slumping over on my side. My legs felt like jello, and my heart was up in my throat and my lungs were lodged in my stomach. The icky substance ran off my arms as I sat there, trying to settle my stomach again.

"Ouch," I whined, barely able to get enough air in my lungs to talk right. It sounded like I was getting high on helium.

"Max! Your not supposed to cut them like that you know! Things explode, haven't you noticed! Are you a complete idiot!" Roxas ran over to me, and it was clear he had taken a few hits from the explosion as well. "But anyways…"

He sighed and wiped some of the goo off of my face with a random napkin. "Your gonna be okay, Alright?"

I stood, still in a bit of a daze, and shoving him aside as I opened a portal.

"I'll be fine. I'm just winded."

"Are you sure? Do you need a potion?"

"Im fine, Roxy. I'm gonna RTC. See yah." I stepped through, entering my room and headed straight for the shower, breath still uneven.