Chapter 9: Taijutsu Master Vs. Weapons Master
Kon: hey peoples! Here's the match between teammates today, it's Rock Lee vs. Tenten and another match I have no idea about. We are sorry to say that NarutoxHinata 592 cannot be here today and I will take his place permanently. Today, I have...
Nxh592: THERE YOU ARE YOU F***ING TOY! YOU DON'T TAKE MY SHOW!!! (Zanpakuto in hand)
Kon: oh shit!
Nxh592:(slashes Kon out of atmosphere) Idiot, anyhow, today I have Rukia Kuchiki and Ichigo Kurosaki.
Ichigo: good to be back, now give me back Zangetsu.
Nxh592: heheh, sorry about that Ichigo.
Rukia: so what is this?
Nxh592: oh! This is my ask column for the story Yondaime Returns.
Rukia: oh! You mean the one on ? you're that Nxh592?
Nxh592: yes and I'm gonna ask you some questions for you two.
Ichigo: okay, shoot
Nxh592: okay 'what is your favorite TV show'
Ichigo: anything that doesn't have to do with fakes.
Rukia: I like Don Konoji's show. Bwahahahahahaha (claws hands across chest)
Nxh592:... okay whatever. next question 'what are Rukia's and Orihime's measurements?'
Rukia:...what?! who wrote that?!
Nxh592: uhh... let's see, his name is 'Commander Fluff'
Kon: (falls back down) AAAAHHHHHHH
Ichigo: Kon?
Kon: I'm back Baby! Kon , AKA: Commander Fluff is in the house!
Rukia: so you wrote this letter asking my measurements?
Kon: what?
Nxh592: you know, I hate ending this in a fight, but Kon, you're asking for it. (holds Kon down)
Kon: no wait wait wait wait wait. I can cut a deal with you. I can make you head of radio Kon! I can make you famous, just let me go! I swear I didn't write that letter. although I would like to make a note of them.
Rukia: you got a five second head start.
Nxh592: you're too soft Rukia. (let's go)
Rukia: one... Five!!! (runs after Kon out the door)
Kon: gaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Ichigo: heheheh, it works every time
Nxh592: you're telling me you wrote that letter?
Ichigo: yep
Nxh592: Ichigo you dog. Well that's all for today, now enjoy chapter nine. Wait... I didn't get hurt? Kon is getting beat? Another miracle!!! This is what it feels like! I'm on a lucky streak! Read the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own any Naruto, Bleach, Inuyasha, or any anime or manga characters I shall make fun of in this chapter, and I will make fun of many.
(Demon, Summon, or Inner Sakura talking)
(thinking or Flashback)
"let the match begin!" The proctor said
Lee quickly went behind Tenten and tried to kick her, but Tenten dodged it. And threw an explosive note to where Lee was. Lee barely escaped the explosion and tried to go after Tenten. Tenten quickly pulled out a scroll from her pocket and unraveled it. She made a couple of hand signs. "Ninja art: Thousand Shuriken of Death" she said as many Shuriken appeared over Lee.
Lee looked up and saw they were raining down. Lee took action and tried to move. But noticed quickly that the Shuriken were following him. Lee jumped so the Shuriken had no choice but to hit the wall.
"you've become faster Lee" Tenten complimented
"and your dexterity has improved greatly Tenten" Lee said
"but it's over here and now, Ninja Art: shuriken explosion!" her Shuriken moved in on Lee and exploded one after another trying to pin-point Lee's position.
"it's no use Tenten, I know all your techniques." Lee said using his super speed to make all the Shuriken explode.
"Come on Tenten! Beat him down! Show that bushy browed freak what for!!" Neji yelled from the stands sitting next to Naruto, Hinata, Sasuke and Sakura.
"you know they're both on your team right?" Naruto asked
Neji's face turned red "w...well, I just don't like Lee that much, that's all"
"That, or you like Tenten" Sakura said smirking "admit it! You like Tenten. You want to get her in bed don't you?"
"That's going too far Sakura-san" Neji said getting up "Tenten is my teammate and nothing else"
"so defensive" Hinata whispered to Naruto
Naruto Laughed
"what's so funny Naruto?" Neji asked
"oh, Hinata-chan just told me a really funny joke" Naruto said trying to cover up
" oh really? I love a good laugh" Neji said "tell me"
Naruto took a breath "okay, a destiny freak was in love with this Weapons freak and he hid it from her even though he was on the same team as her and their team leader was a goofy teacher named Maito Guy."
Neji took his sweet time to get the joke "your dead Uzumaki"
Naruto smiled widely "and then Naruto ran" he said as he disappeared from where he was sitting in a yellow flash.
"Damn it! I'll get you wherever you are" Neji said as he ran to find him.
Naruto came from behind his seat where he was hiding and sat back down chuckling.
"Come on Tenten, you said you had a new jutsu you really wanted to use. It's time to use it or this match will be over quickly" Lee said getting ready.
"Oh yeah I've really been aching to use this jutsu." Tenten said making complicated hand signs with a scroll in hand "Ninja Art: Needle pursuit jutsu!" Needles came out of her skin protruding so it made it so her body looked like it was made of needles.
"so this is it huh?" Lee said looking excited
"just you wait." Tenten said.
She ran in super speed right towards Lee. Lee dodged her attacks one after another. The needles were just barely missing their targets, Lee was too fast. One however grazed his cheek. The needle that hit him attached to his skin and exploded.
"see? That's only half of the power these needles hold." Tenten said smirking
"I... see, so that's the jutsu you've been working on." Lee said 'damn, that's some technique, that was almost the end of me'
"Come on Lee, I know you're holding back. Show me some extreme moves" Tenten said
"okay Tenten, you are right. I have been holding back. If you wish to see my real speed than so be it." Lee said reaching down to his legs. He took off his weights that weighed 500 pounds each "and this" Lee said taking off his armbands
"W...wait, when he was fighting Gaara, he only had his leg weights taken off, when did he get arm weights?" Naruto asked Neji who was back from giving up.
"he had those put on when he was in the hospital, he thought that if he didn't step up his training, he would get weaker" Neji said
"well how much do those on his arms weigh?" Sakura asked
"well the ones he took off were almost a half a ton each." Neji said looking down at the dust of the weights cleared
"A full ton? That's unreal!" Sasuke said worrying that what was to come
"Ready Ten?" Lee asked
"Ready Lee" Tenten said
Lee disappeared and was going straight for Tenten in a Green blur. Tenten was following him every step. Tenten shot the needles that were in her body toward Lee and exploded on impact. It looked like Lee had been hit. Everyone was on the edge of their seat. Lee popped out of the smoke and punched Tenten right in the face.
Tenten dropped to the floor "owww that hurt" she was crying wincing at the spot on her face. "wahh wah (sniff sniff)"
"ahh!! Oh I'm sorry Tenten, I didn't mean to hit you so hard please forgive me." Lee said rushing over to her aid.
Tenten smiled slightly "gotcha Lee" she disappeared in a puff of smoke. All that was left was a Log filled with Tenten's explosive needles. The needles again got Lee head on.
"I can't believe you fell for that Lee, that's the oldest trick in the book" Tenten said coming out of the tree.
The smoke cleared and Lee wasn't there "huh? What? Where did he...?" but before she could finish her question was answered with her own weapons used against her. The Needles that were on the log were replaced by an explosive note as a Distraction.
Lee came up from one of the trees and tied Tenten with his bandages.
"now Tenten, it's over 'Hidden Lotus'!" Lee shouted as he dropped his teammate onto the ground.
Tenten bounced back and bent down. Tenten's jutsu wore off and all of the needles in her body fell to the ground. She was on the ground covered in dirt tired.
Lee came out of the dust "it's over Tenten." Lee said
"yeah... your right Lee" Tenten said getting up "hey proctor, I give"
"are you sure?" the proctor asked
"yeah, I'm beat, I'm out of Chakra anyway" Tenten said
"very well then. This match is over! The winner is Rock Lee!" the proctor said
the crowd went wild as the proctor's decision was made "all right Lee! Way to go!" "whoo!" "that's the way!" everyone shouted
"what! Oh come on!! That's not fair!" Tsunade yelled out "Rematch! Rematch!"
"yeah man! Way to go Lee!" Arashi said "now Tsunade, the rest of my money if you will" he said putting his hand out.
"Damn you Arashi. You took my money when you were little and your taking my money now" Tsunade said giving him his winnings
"it's not that I want to take your money, it's just so funny seeing you lose" Arashi said "hahah, 200,000 Ryo"
"I don't know how you keep winning Arashi." Tsunade said
"simple, it's the Uzumaki luck. Any bet or vow we make, we will always come out the winner." Arashi said
Sarutobi sighed "are you still hung up about that Arashi?" he said
"it's the truth old man, any bet we make we will always win." Arashi reiterated "just ask Naruto, he'll tell you somethin's up about that."
"all right, it's time for the semi-finals. Rock Lee Vs. Sasuke Uchiha. Lee are you sure you're alright with going on?" he asked
"yes, this is the match I have been waiting for, I'm all right" Lee said excitingly
"very well than, Sasuke Uchiha, could you please come down here please?" the proctor asked
Sasuke got up from his seat, "guess it's my turn again huh?" Sasuke said as he jumped down from his seat down to the ground below.
"Sasuke, it's been a while since our last fight." Lee said looking fiercely
"yeah, it has. About a month?" Sasuke asked
"well no matter, I am even stronger than before." Lee Said
"good, cause you're not the only one" Sasuke said
"alright, let the semi-final match begin!" the proctor said
Sasuke went back and tried to hit Lee with a kunai and tried to use his fireball jutsu. Lee dodged the kunai and barely escaped the fireball. Sasuke used his Sharingan to copy some of lee's new moves. Lee was too fast to be caught and tried to use some Shuriken on Sasuke. Sasuke dodged them with ease.
"come on Lee, I know you have more weights on you." Sasuke Said
Lee was astounded at this "how did you know that Sasuke?" He asked
"simple, you moved a lot faster when you fought that sand kid and you are holding you're punches back. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out" Sasuke explained
"Wow! Sasuke found out Lee was holding back." Tenten said amazed
"well he's pretty sharp when it comes to this stuff" Sakura said
"well, it's going to be a good match for sure if their both going all out" Hinata said
"I don't know who will win, but I bet it's Sasuke-Kun" Ino said with high praise
"no way, Lee will come out the winner." Tenten said with her head held up high.
"well It doesn't matter," Hinata said "cause' my Naruto-chan will beat either one"
"oh come on, he only won against Shikamaru because he tricked him, Naruto doesn't have a snowballs chance against Sasuke-Kun" Ino said defending both Sasuke and Shikamaru.
"no way, Naruto won that match fair and square, Ino-pig! Shikamaru was just too slow to keep up!" Hinata said scowling at her.
Ino was stunned "now you're calling me Ino-pig Hinata?" she asked
"what's with that surprised look Ino? You should be used to being called Ino-pig by now" Sakura said
"you wanna fight Forehead-girl?" Ino asked getting up
"you don't know the half of it." Sakura said getting up after her "alright Round two! I'll get you this time Pig!"
"hey girls, do you mind? Were trying to watch the fight." Shikamaru Said. They both sat back down watching the fight still glaring at each other.
Lee took off the weights that were on his shirt and legs. "I feel really light now whoohoo!" Lee said jumping fifty feet in the air and coming back down.
Sasuke wasted no time and made his move. Lee was almost at mach speed the way he was. Sasuke moved his eyes following Lee's every move. Lee tried to come in and hit Sasuke. Sasuke saw this and clasped an explosive on his Shirt when he dodged it. Lee saw the bomb right away and got rid of it. Sasuke threw five weapons toward the wall. Nowhere close to where Lee was except one, which missed him. Sasuke was anticipating this and executed his attack.
"Fire style : Dragonflame jutsu!" Sasuke yelled as he tightened and blew his flame onto the wires which had been tied to the weapons. Lee got full blast of it.
Sasuke let down the wires to get Lee down. But when the smoke cleared Lee was not in the vicinity of the wires.
Lee's superior speed was unmatched. Sasuke didn't know how he did it but he escaped from one of his most powerful moves
"it is no use Sasuke, I've gotten a lot faster since we fought last time." Lee said from behind him. Sasuke didn't turn from his spot
"and you think I've been lying around for the last two weeks?" Sasuke Said.
Lee was confused but he kicked what he thought was Sasuke.
Sasuke used a replacement Jutsu. Instead of Sasuke were wires neatly folded. The wires exploded and were around Lee.
"Fire Style: Hidden Dragon Flame!" Sasuke shouted
Lee looked where the voice was coming from, there was nothing there. He looked behind him but again nothing. He didn't know where Sasuke was and without warning the wires lit up with the orange glow of the fire. Sasuke appeared to see Lee fall down.
The crowed was in awe. Tenten and Neji were just about to go down to help him. Their Sensei stopped them smiling down at the field.
"but, Sensei. He needs our help." Tenten said trying to reason with his request
"don't worry Tenten, you know better than I do that Lee has a lot more than that in him." Guy Said. Tenten and Neji sat back down understanding what he had to say.
Sasuke scoffed "Come on Lee, I know that you have more than that in you." Sasuke was right Lee got up without a burn on him.
" I have to admit Sasuke, that almost got me. If it wasn't for that split second, I probably wouldn't be here right now." Lee said As he dusted himself off.
Sasuke didn't give him time to recover, and went straight for him. Lee didn't miss a beat as he climbed the skies and tried to kick Sasuke in the back. Sasuke was too fast for him and dodged the attack.
Sasuke tried to do the same to Lee but he was just as fast as he was. "come on show me that power that Naruto said you had. The one you used to damage Gaara." Sasuke said as they hit the floor again.
'I really don't want to use that power. It's just too much strain on my body' Lee thought for a second 'wait! That's it!' Lee pulled out a small bottle from his jumpsuit.
"what's that?" Sasuke asked
"A Man's best friend Saké! Sorry I couldn't show you that power I showed with Gaara" Lee said as he downed the small bottle.
Once he did, he got a dazed look on his face. It looked like he hardly knew where he was at the moment.
"uh... Lee, are you alright?" Sasuke said as he went to his side because it looked as he was going to fall.
Lee swatted his hand away. "now... I'll make you pay... Sas...Sasuke" Lee said sluringly "Now I'll... beat you... down hands... hands down (hic)"
Sasuke was a bit confused. at first on how being drunk would help him. he didn't pay it much attention. he went to punch toward Lee. Lee tripped over his own feet and dodged it. Sasuke was astonished.
Lee got up and while getting up, he hit his head on Sasuke's jaw. Sasuke went flying back crashing into the wall.
Lee was standing there looking for Sasuke till he found the crack in the wall where Sasuke flew. "pphffft (snort) you fell down." Lee said drunkenly
Sasuke got himself out of the rubble. he looked at Lee with anger and confusion. "come on quit playing around Lee fight seriously" Sasuke said "proctor this can't be legal, can it?" Sasuke asked
"the alcohol is a tool for fighting it's allowed" the proctor said.
Sasuke didn't know what to do. he couldn't hit Lee while he was drunk and he couldn't get anywhere close to him because he couldn't control where he was going.
"c...come on Sasuke. are you ready t...to give up?" Lee said almost ready to throw up.
Sasuke tried to go after Lee again to find a weak spot but it was no use. he was as wild as a monkey.
when Sasuke retreated again something followed him. a small bottle marked 'emergency Saké was next to his feet. Sasuke saw the bottle and immediately came up with a plan to take the match.
He chugged the bottle and he found that it was a fast acting alcohol. "huh wh... what's going on? why are you lookin' like that?" Lee asked
Sasuke looked dazed "wh... what are you lookin at Bushy brows? heheh, yea that's right you got bushy eyebrows." Sasuke said Dunkily taunting him.
"hey what's wrong with Sasuke, I've never heard him call Lee bushy brows before." Sakura asked Tenten.
"Yeah, that's what Saké will do to your body, no matter how Emo you are, you'll always make a fool of yourself once it touches your lips." Tenten said half annoyed
"Huh, Saké? You mean they're drunk?" Sakura said surprised.
"yeah and I know Lee is a mean drunk." Tenten said remembering the party they had for him "when Lee recovered from the hospital, Lady Tsunade brought a whole bunch of Sake to celebrate his release, Lee had not even a drop and he was destroying everything in sight. he was drunker than hell. you remember that Neji?" She asked
Neji nodded " yeah I do remember that. Not even I could take him down, hell even Guy had a hard time getting him to calm down."
"wow" Sakura said amazed "so... how about Sasuke?" Sakura asked
"it's a tough call, he could be the same as Lee, or he could be someone who can handle his liquor, it's about a 50-50 chance." Tenten said pondering this perdicament "only time will tell"
Sasuke was acting very cocky now " heheheh, you can't touch me Lee" he said while swaying back and forth toward him.
"wh... where did you get Sake from Sas... Sasuke?" Lee asked
"I... I got it from you." Sasuke said throwing over his bottle to him.
Lee studied the bottle "uh-oh. I'm gonna go to jail, I'm gonna go to jail." Lee said looking at the bottle
"wh-why? you were drinking and driving?" Sasuke said dense
"N-no I... I mean I'm in trouble. (Hic)" Lee said " I... I was only supposed to use this in emergency"
Sasuke didn't want to listen anymore, he attacked Lee ducked and tried to hit his balls. Sasuke Covered his boys and kicked Lee's head to send Him flying upwards. Sasuke went up to follow him.
"Now time to use my new move." Sasuke said he bouced around in the air hitting Lee over and over randomly. he slammed his foot in his stomach "Drunken Lions Barrage". Lee looked dazed when he hit the floor.
the proctor looked at Lee. He looked at his face. He was snoring, more than that he was sleeping.
"I... guess that's it. The winner is Sasuke Uchi..." the proctor was interrupted by Sasuke throwing up over by the wall. "uhh... Sasuke are you alright?"
"I'm fine, I just... (blech)" he threw up again. Tsunade came down.
"alright Uchiha say ahh..." Tsunade said as he held his throat
"ahhhhhh..." he said as he opened his mouth.
"hmm... it seems you got an allergic reaction from this brand. I've seen it time and time before. I'm allergic to Budweiser. God awful."
"Will I be able to fight Naruto?" Sasuke asked
Tsunade Chuckled "not only can I garantee you will fight in the last fight, I can garantee you'll fight with no hangover." she said reaching in her coat. "just drink this and you'll feel as a sober as a priest on Sunday"
Sasuke drank the bottle and he felt much better. "that's much better thank you Lady Tsunade."
"ahh no trouble. (whispering) just garantee me you'll win the next fight." Tsunade said pulling him close
"no problem" Sasuke said looking at Naruto who was already coming down to fight.
AN: I don't own Budweiser and do not condone in minor's drinking, though it is funny.
Nxh592: yay! another chapter complete! Today, I have the wannabe Pirate King Luffy and his crew. Ladies and gentleman, I bring you the Strawhat Pirates!
Luffy: hey this is neat-o! I like your story man.
Nxh592: thanks Luff...
Nami: yeah I like the love story with NarutoxHinata. oh! and SasukexSakura.
Sanji: how bout we make the next couple SanjixNami?
Nami: (punches in the face) you little perv.
Zoro: yeah, I like this kid Sasuke, he reminds me of myself a little.
Robin: well I like the sweetness Naruto has for Hinata. It's so... how do I put this?
Nami: Fluff?
Robin: Fluff.
Chopper: I wanna be a strong Doctor like Lady Tsunade is.
Franky: Hilarious seeing two drunk kids fight like that!
Brook: A fine compilation of fan service, if I do say.
Nxh592: well thanks guys. I wanna ask you something. What do you think One Piece is?
Luffy: well to me, it's only being named King of the Pirates!
Nami: Luffy are you crazy? it's gotta be Gold. Piles and piles of Gold!
Zoro: I think it's the most massive sword collection.
Sanji: it's gotta be a full town Harem, if you know what I mean.
Brook: I'm going with Sanji on this one.
Robin: It's gotta be a highly kept secret that only Gold Roger knew about.
Chopper: maybe it's the Elixir of life!
Franky: Soda!!!
Nxh592: all excellent guesses, only time will tell. another question what do you all want out of life?
Luffy: for me that's easy, to be King of the pirates!
Nami: so predictable Luffy, I want to find the most biggest treasure and make a map of the world.
Zoro: I want to prove to someone that I am the number 1 swordsman in all the land.
Sanji: To fish in the all blue.
Robin: I want to find the most kept secrets in the world
Chopper: I want to make a medicine that can cure anything!
Brook: I just want to meet Laboon again.
Franky: I wanna build the greatest ship to sail…wait, I already did.
Nxh592: I can see what brought you all together. well that's all for today. tune in for the next chapter, Chapter 10: Naruto Vs Sasuke: the final battle.
All: Stay tuned!