14. Sea Sick with Love
Hidan yawned hugely once they finally arrived at the docks. He and Kakuzu, surprisingly to most other Akatsuki members, managed not to attempt slaughtering each other. Although Kakuzu did come pretty close a few times, choking him was not something he counted as slaughter. Hidan was indeed holy alright, a holy pain in Kakuzu's back (thought I was gonna say ass? Ha, Kuzu=seme).On the outskirts of the settlement they transformed and Kakuzu pulled out their tickets for the ship they were to board in a matter of minutes. They were, of course, running late thanks to Hidan and his complaining to rest every few minutes. They hurried through the crowd, shoving people and being shoved in turn, until they reached their lovely cruise ship. They reached the landing ramp and handed their tickets to the sailor collecting.
"This ship is pretty small for a cruise ship. Must've been expensive though, due to the quality and length of trip. Not to mention the destination is a pretty hot spot." Hidan noted, surprising Kakuzu whom didn't think the zealot knew about money affairs.
Kakuzu nodded and continued to the main deck. Kakuzu took a map of the ship from a little stand and slowed his pace so Hidan could see it as well. He heard Hidan mumble something about being hungry and asked where their rooms were. Kakuzu pointed at the stairs leading below deck. Hidan huffed and trudged down behind Kakuzu. Their room was at the very end of the hall and to the left.
"If we're on a fucking money mission... How were you able to afford this shitty boat?"
"Tickets were in that envelope from Sara." He answered, "Although I'm not sure how she knew this would be our destination and on this day and time too..."
"Yeah, bitch has always been fucked up like that." Hidan scoffed, entering their room before the suddenly curious partner.
"You sound as though you've known her longer than I." He noticed Hidan flinch. "Meh- You know what the fuck I meant, bastard." Hidan shrugged, slipping his cloak off his shoulders, letting it stay behind him.
"Oi, you better fix that slovenly behavior by the time we get back to base. I refuse to be your maid and refuse to see your crap lying all over my floor." He growled.
"Heh! As if I give a fuck- What are you doing!?" He gasped once Kakuzu advanced towards him, towering overhead.
"Don't try my patience nor my temper." He growled in Hidan's ear, placing his hand around the ashy throat and squeezing for emphasis.
"F-fine! I'll pick it up! Put me down, shithead! You know about my problem. I don't feel like sucking you off or vice-verse." He gasped and inhaled deeply once Kakuzu released him. Hidan watched Kakuzu storm into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. 'Ugh, I hope that fucker isn't doing what I suspect...' Hidan blushed in-spite his thought which he had attempted to veil in a tone of disgust and failing. He sighed and sat on the single king-sized bed. He pulled off his coiled cords and placed them to the side along with the scythe. A few moments later, the bathroom door opened and Kakuzu reappeared in his plain black cloak and his headband was missing from his headgear.
"Throw on a shirt, slob." He snapped at Hidan, putting both of their cloaks away in the end.
"Don't fucking have one." Hidan scoffed.
"Then I'll have to buy you one. Stay here." Kakuzu headed for the door only to pause when he heard someone stumble behind him.
"Wait- don't leave me, shit-head." Kakuzu imagined Hidan pouting, begging and tugging on his cloak like a lost kid.
"I'll be right back with a shirt then we'll go have a look around. Better than staying put I suppose." He felt heat pool in his cheeks and hurried out the door.
He shuffled past other passengers, ignoring their faces, and looked around for one of the shops he had spied on the map. He worried about the ship's name. "Love's Voyage." Corny, yet still self-explanatory- not to mention Sara had given him free tickets. No doubt she was expecting something. He found one of the shops and entered the somewhat crowded store, looking for the cheapest shirts.
"Oh! Is that you, Kakuzu-sama?"
Kakuzu turned abruptly at the once familiar title. A tan man in a light, open button shirt was standing with his hands in the pockets of his khaki Capri shorts. He had short black hair slicked back and narrow green eyes. Kakuzu's eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"If it isn't one of Sara's little 'business men'." Kakuzu drawled, straightening to tower over the other.
"The pot shan't call the kettle black, my old colleague." The other laughed dismissively.
"I was right then, in assuming this is Sara's ship."
"Indeed 'tis. Can I help you in finding anything in particular? I'll even give you a bargain if you'd be so kind as to tell me your secret."
"'Secret?'"
"The secret on how you've managed such amazing and successful little sluts such as Atari and Deidara."
"That's simple- you just give them what they want and call it even."
"I see, well, I see you're looking for some shirts."
"Hm. Nothing expensive- my... partner... goes through them easily."
"Come with me to the back area and I'll give ya some."
Hidan waited impatiently for Kakuzu to return. He had sat on the bed for some time then went to the mirror. He frowned, fussing over a loose strand, slicking it back to join the others only to have more take its place. He clicked his tongue and turned on the faucet. He splashed the water on his face, wiping the excess drops into his hair. He admired his reflection in the mirror after switching the water off. He deemed his appearance worthy enough and heard Kakuzu's return. He pad back into the room and saw him pulling two shirts out of a paper bag.
He spotted the receiver of the shirts and tossed him one. They were all identical- tight and black. The only difference was sleeve length. Sleeveless, short-sleeved, and long-sleeved. Hidan was slipping the t over his head while his partner put the other two away.
"The ship's leaving dock, people should be heading for their rooms by now. Let's go take a look around..."
Hidan followed Kakuzu out onto the main deck. The sun was dipping under the horizon, painting everything a romantic scene. Hidan scowled at this, staying back from the railing. They continued around the ship and soon their stomachs demanded attention.
"There's a restaurant below deck." Kakuzu said.
He withdrew the map from his cloak and led the way to the restaurant. The restaurant was named Immortal Romance. This confused the two until they noticed love was the restaurant's theme and they reluctantly entered to be seated by a young man in a waiter's suit.
"Would you like a private setting or-"
"What ever's closest, I'm fucking starving." Hidan snapped.
"Ah, alright, this way then." The waiter didn't seem to mind Hidan's attitude and led them to a nearby and open booth. There weren't too many others around this one. "Your server will be here shortly- I would serve you myself, however she's a trainee. The experience should do her good." He looked at Hidan as he said.
"Tell the bitch to hurry." Hidan growled in unison with his & Kakuzu's stomach.
The waiter bowed and left the menus in front of them. They sat facing each other, glaring at their pink and fluffy surroundings. The glares only ceased once they met, canceling one another out. A young girl stumbled over to the table, notepad at the ready. Kakuzu's eyes widened a bit and he shot a quick glance at Hidan whom had a quizzical look on his face. He looked back to the waitress that had pure white hair, pale skin, and red eyes. She looked as if she were related to the ½ albino before him.
"Hi, my name's Uzui and I'll be your server for the morning. Is there anything you'd like right now?" Her voice was soft and unsure and she seemed to be casting a nervous glance over to Hidan.
"Ah, yes, Uzui-chan, you may get us something for the evening, for morning has long since passed." Hidan corrected.
"Oh, yes, sorry, thank you..."
"We'll just have water." Kakuzu answered, not bothering to question Hidan's sudden change in behavior.
"And you, Hidan-kun?" She asked Hidan.
"Water." Hidan sighed at Kakuzu's warning leer. He wasn't going to be able to enjoy this mission with such a stingy and controlling partner.
"... Are you sure?"
"Just go get the damn water so we can get something to eat." Kakuzu growled. The girl jumped a little and scurried off. Kakuzu winced at Hidan's kick to his shin under the table. "What!?"
"She was just trying to be nice- it's her first time." Hidan rolled his eyes, looking at the menu.
Kakuzu grumbled but let the subject drop. His eyes darted down the menu of meals suitable for loving couples- spaghetti, roast, cake, and what-not- he soon spotted the cheapest- Ramen. He closed the menu just as Hidan did. Uzui returned, setting a glass of water in front of Kakuzu and a red liquid before Hidan. Kakuzu was about to say something but got a kick to the knee.
"Uzui-chan-"
"Thi-this is on the house for helping me." She blushed, looking away.
"In the future, it's best to get customer's what they order. I will have the usual." Hidan flashed a smile towards a very confused Kakuzu.
"What about your boyfriend?" She asked innocently.
"!" The water Kakuzu had took a sip of moments before shot out and Hidan flushed incredibly bright.
"Uzui! We're not dating- we're co-workers, damnit. I have no interest in this creep." Hidan recovered, sounding harsher then intended.
"Uh- I-I'll just have ramen..." Kakuzu muttered, looking away from Hidan.
"I'm so sorry- it's just that this-"
"It's ok, just go get us two bowls of ramen." Hidan sighed, patting her head.
She nodded and took off. There was an awkward silence between the two outlaws staring anywhere but at each other. Awhile passed before Hidan spoke.
"I'm sorry about her, she can be a bit... compulsive and jumps to conclusions quite a bit." He ruffled his hair.
"So you know her personally?" Kakuzu finally looked back up at Hidan.
"Um... yeah. See... she's kinda... well... she's..."
"Uncle!" They jumped at the shrill voice of a little girl running up to their table, latching around Hidan's waist.
"Oi, what the hell?" Hidan and Kakuzu spoke in unison, looking at the little blonde with magenta eyes.
"Oh, Hidan-kun, I'm sorry- she doesn't really know better yet." Uzui returned, placing the piping hot bowls of ramen in front of the two men, sitting down when the little girl went to hug Uzui's leg.
"Ah, so this is that brat I've been hearing of." Hidan rolled his eyes, ignoring the girl now to slurp his noodles.
"Would you mind watching her?" Hidan choked on his noodles, snapping his head to look at the pleading waitress.
"Why the fuck would I-"
"If you don't, I'll tell big sister that you're on a date without her approval!"
"I told you I'm not-"
"It's not like you'll be there to prove me wrong, big brother."
"This is black-mail!"
"So!? Tell you what- if you watch her tonight, I'll pay for your meal."
"He'll watch her." Kakuzu answered immediately at the mention of a free meal.
"OI- don't answer for me basta-"
"It's a deal then." Uzui grinned evilly, spinning around and leaving the paid bill at the table.
"That bitch planned this from the start!" Hidan cried in exasperation. "She always pulls this shit with me! Anytime I try to tell anyone though-"
"You didn't show much suspicion of her earlier..." Kakuzu noted, slurping his ramen without removing the mask and distracting Hidan's rant as he turned his attention to the possibility of seeing Kakuzu's face.
"That's because she always wins and it's best not to get on her bad side. I was trying to be fucking nice and look where the fuck it gets me!" Hidan's head hit the table with a dull thud.
"Well, I believe you." Kakuzu smiled subconsciously and Hidan's heart skipped a beat.
He rose his head to find Kakuzu had already rushed to turn his attention to his bowl of ramen. Hidan sighed once more and began to slurp his ramen. The little girl yawned and crawled onto his lap- much to his annoyance. He continued to ignore her, however. He refused to make eye contact with her and Kakuzu noticed this between slurps. Soon they had finished and Kakuzu stood.
"Is the kid hungry?"
"Don't know, don't care." Hidan scowled, scooting of the booth, the little girl waking just in time to catch herself when he stood.
Kakuzu said nothing and gave the bill to the cashier on the way out. He went through all that had happened in the restaurant and discovered a few things about Hidan. One; He actually did have a "good side". Two; He has at least three sisters. Three; He didn't like kids. Four... Kakuzu frowned, 'He hates me.' While Kakuzu wallowed in self-pity, Hidan was making plans on where to keep his niece. 'The closet might have to do... or the bathroom...'
They made it back to their cabin, Kakuzu heading for the bathroom while Hidan collapsed on the bed, face down and resting on crossed arms. He was beginning to feel weird and it didn't help to have something poking his foot. He sat up again and left the room, pulling the girl along with him. He led her to the railing and told her to stay put. He wasn't going to leave, but he wasn't going to watch her either. Instead he watched the angry sun get swallowed by the calming ocean.
'I feel like I'm seasick, yet when I'm watching the sea... I have no reaction. I know I've felt like this before... but when and why? Jashin-sama, I'm so confused... tell me what is happening to me.' He closed his eyes and left his head to rest on his arms on the railing.
Kakuzu looked at his scarred face reflected in the mirror with disgust. 'Look at me... I should probably just show that kid and hopefully, when I get an obvious rejection... Ugh, I sound like a fucking girl- there's no way this is a crush... Yet, no matter how I wish it not to be with him... I can't help but feel there's something more and it's beginning to piss me off... FUCK!' Kakuzu exhaled sharply, straightened up, and replaced his mask to leave the bathroom. He didn't see Hidan and his heart fell- literally. The wind-style mask detached from Kakuzu's body, whimpering. Kakuzu glared at it.
"Well, what is it, what do you want?" He asked it.
It said nothing, looking from it's master and to the door multiple times.
"You want me to look for him..." Kakuzu looked pained at his heart's nod, "Why... only to have you and your brothers break?"
A second mask- the fire-style- slipped from his back to join the other.
"Only two of you would break..." Kakuzu told them.
The third and fourth masks now crowded with them and Kakuzu's remaining heart skipped a beat.
"I'm in love... aren't I?"
"Brother! Wake up, brother!"
Hidan moaned, stirring from sleep at the vibrations against his ear. His sister was leaning over him. 'Must've slid to the floor at some point...' Hidan thought, his eyes drooping. He felt so tired and his stomach was still feeling odd. In fact... it felt worse. Hidan groaned again and his sister began to worry. She slung his arm over her shoulder and hefted him to his feet. He wobbled and clung to her. She sighed and helped him back to his room. Hours had passed and the decks were all now nearly deserted. When Hidan had collapsed, his niece had run to find her mother. She opened the door of the dark room and shuffled over to the single bed to sling Hidan on it.
Kakuzu had searched the entire boat for Hidan and was returning to their room just as Uzui softly closed the door behind her and led her daughter in the other direction. He soon found Hidan on the bed, fast asleep but his breathing sounded a bit odd to Kakuzu. He approached his partner and tentatively reached to feel his forehead. Hidan murmured something that made Kakuzu freeze, feeling his hearts stop beating altogether before retracting his hand from the overheated forehead and slipping under the covers to drape his arm around the Jashinist's waist. The words uttered by the smaller man echoing throughout his dreams.
"I love Kakuzu.... fuck..."
Okay- urgent question- would you guys like for Atari and Suki to make a reappearance in the following chapter(s)? I might do it regardless, but I would like to know if you guys liked the two man-whores. Also – SasoDei in the next chap! KakuHida at a delay until I decide on Atari and Suki's "fanbase" so-to-speak...