Chapter XIII: Ino-Shika-Cho Vs Hida-Kakuz
Nxh592: Hey! Sup people; let's get it on. Today, I have my three favorite nobodies, Axel, Roxas, and Naminé!
Roxas: Hey
Naminé: good evening
Axel: How ya doin?
Nxh592: pretty good Axel, pretty good. So, my first question is this. You don't have hearts, do you?
Axel: Guess again man, we nobodies aren't born with hearts that much is true. But those of us that want hearts, not for personal gain like Xemnas wanted, but for others, than we accumulate hearts.
Nxh592: ahh poor old Mansex... I mean Xemnas. Anyway, next question. Roxas, would you ever return to Twilight Town if given the chance?
Roxas: hmm... well it would be cool to see Hayner, Pence, and Ollete again. Plus I could kick Seifer's butt at a Struggle match.
Nxh592: I'd pay money to see that. The arrogant little asshole. Anywho... Axel, we know that Roxas is Sora's nobody, and Naminé is Kairi's nobody, so who were you when you were human?
Axel: Dunno if ya knew me back then, but my name was Renji.
Nxh592: Renji Abarai? You're Renji?!!
Axel: Nahh I was just messing with you.
Nxh592: I'm never gonna get this answered am I?
Axel: Nope!
Nxh592: ah oh well. this one's for Naminé, I have to ask what do you like to draw?
Naminé: uhh... you wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Nxh592: come on, I'm a pretty open person
Naminé: Okay don't say I didn't warn you. (Gives sketchbook)
Nxh592: (flips through pages) hang on is that...?
Naminé: Shhh...
Nxh592: wow... I was expecting some sketches or something but damn Naminé, you got some skill for this. Not a particular fan of this... sort of... doujinshi, but still...
Roxas: What is it?
Naminé: Wait Roxas, no!!
Roxas: (takes notebook) ......Is that...me and... Axel?!!
Axel: Say what? (Looks) Oh dear god... Why Yaoi? Why?!!!
Naminé: uhh... there's some Yuri in there too.
All: ... (Look at Naminé)
Roxas: Did...
Axel: you say...
Nxh592: Yuri?
(all three gather around sketchbook)
Nxh592: whoahoh! Look at the tits on Kairi!
Axel: and look at Larxene, (wolf whistles) damn those legs drive me crazy!
Roxas: whoo look at Ollete's ass!
Nxh592: I didn't even see these pages.
Naminé: oh god, there all Pervs (sweatdrop) Then again I was the one who drew them...
Nxh592: hell I'd say all is forgiven right guys?
Roxas: I think so.
Axel: I don't, how about you give us all copies of these pages, then all is forgiven
Naminé: Wow! That's all? Okay. All besides the uhh... ones with you two?
Roxas: Naturally,
Nxh592: Well while I wait for Naminé's next pervy creation, read the story!
Disclaimer: I do not Own GTO, I do not own Eikichi Onizuka, I don't own any of the students in class four, but Kunio's mom is still hot... Wait a second, that isn't right, let me try again, I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the nobodies, any similarities to anyone's life means two things, one, pure coincidence and two, you have a Fucked up life... well I needed that one, but not the right one, I got it! I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters, the following has Hidan, so if your offended by constant cursing. Don't read the following chapter, Hahah! Try and sue me now ghost of Johnny Cochran
(Thinking or flashback)
(Demon or Summon talking)
"What do you think Choji? How much farther till the gate?" Shikamaru asked
Choji thought before answering, "I'd say another 200 feet"
Ino didn't look like she liked the answer.
"What's wrong with you Ino?" Shikamaru asked as he saw she was lagging
"Just...Thinking" She said
Shikamaru looked at her "If it's about Sasuke, forget about it."
Ino's head shot up "How did..."
"Ino, you've been moping about it since the Chunin exams" Shikamaru said
"it's just that... I thought he would choose me" Ino said
Shikamaru stopped, as did his teammates "What was so attractive about him?"
"He was handsome, he didn't care about what anybody said, and he was a real bad boy" Ino said enthusiastically
Shikamaru sighed, "Really? The reason he didn't care about what anybody said is because he didn't have anyone to say otherwise, and he wasn't really a bad boy, In fact he's never broken the rules. And as for handsome, well I'm not an expert in that category."
"It's just that... why'd he choose forehead girl?" Ino asked with her head down
"You want to know the reason? You were just a fan girl to him, another groupie in the Sasuke Lover Squad. Sakura actually saw why he acted that way. He was in pain and she tries with all her might to sooth that pain."
Ino looked nothing less than shocked.
"Let me ask you something, have you ever tried to see the true Sasuke? Behind those good looks, did you ever try to see that he was in pain? Or did you just want him to say he liked you?" Shikamaru said fiercely
"I... I don't know" Ino was befuddled
"I think even if Sasuke was born not as handsome as you say he is, Sakura would have stood by him. My question is, would you?"
Ino was silent for the longest time. Tears started coming down her cheeks. She started laughing weakly.
"Thank you Shikamaru. You're right, I was just another Fan girl. I don't think I would stay by him if he was unattractive." She wiped her tears from her eyes.
"Here's my theory, everyone is made for someone else, just like Naruto and Hinata were made for each other, or Sasuke and Sakura. You're made for someone too Ino, Even Choji has someone made for him. He just hasn't met her yet." Shikamaru said smiling
"Thanks Shikamaru, That means a lot" Ino said smiling as well.
"Awww how Fucking touching. Ain't it Kakuzu?" Some one said in the distance.
All three of them turned to see a Gray haired man and another tall man by his side on top of a tree.
"That's the most sentimental piece of shit I have ever seen." the gray haired man said "A guy trying to get laid with words." the man laughed.
"Hahah, Where are my manners? The names Hidan, This walking piece of shit is my partner Kakuzu." he said
"So you're the Akatsuki huh?" Shikamaru said clutching his fists.
"Oh little smartass thinks he knows everything. Yeah were the Akatsuki, D'ya know why were here smartass?" Hidan said
"Let me guess, your here for the Nine Tailed Fox, you're here for Naruto." Shikamaru said
Hidan laughed again "So you know his blood huh? You really are a smartass."
"His blood?" Shikamaru asked
"heh guess you don't know all." Hidan said
"Hidan let me fight first." Kakuzu said
Hidan's smile vanished "Do you think you deserve to fight you tall walking piece of shit?"
"You know, you're right, you should fight the weak little chunin." Kakuzu said
"You know fuck you asshole, you're the one that should dirty his hands with such weak little pieces of shit" Hidan said
"Fine, with me. I don't care as long as I get paid." Kakuzu said as he jumped down from the tree to the ground.
"So you're going to fight one fighter at a time huh?" Shikamaru laughed "You have seriously doubted the leaf's power."
"Really, is that so? Fight and you will see how much you're wrong." Kakuzu said
"Come out of hiding" Kakashi said as he stopped.
two men came out from behind a rock.
"Guess were not that silent as we thought." the one with a black and white face said
"No, it seems not" He said seemingly talking to himself
"You, you're the Akatsuki, right? "Kakashi asked
"I assume you are Kakashi Hatake," said the plant-like one
"You assume correctly, Zetsu" Kakashi said
Zetsu laughed "So you know us huh?"
"It seems he does"
"I don't remember a report on you're friend though" Kakashi said "What is your name?"
The one with the mask didn't seem keen to talking. In fact it looked like he was trying to avoid Kakashi.
"This is Tobi; he has been with us for a while. We're surprised you don't have all eleven members in you're little bingo book." Zetsu said
"Eleven? My reports told me there was nine, including Orochimaru." Kakashi thought, "There's obviously this Tobi, but who is the last one?"
"It looks like I'm going to need help with the son of the White Fang of Konoha" Zetsu said
"Yes, it looks like we'll need to use his lackeys"
Many Ninja with Otogakure headbands appeared behind Zetsu and Tobi.
"Remind me to thank the deserter" Zetsu said to himself.
"Yes will do. he does have advantages of being the Otokage."
"I think I'll skip them and go straight to you!" Kakashi said as he activated his Sharingan.
Kakashi drove his kunai into Zetsu's torso.
Zetsu stopped it and took it from him.
at that moment Tobi jumped out of the way of battle.
"Good Tobi, you listen. This will be my fight." Zetsu said as he called of the sound Nin.
"Well, this will be easier than I thought." Kakashi said pulling out a second kunai. Zetsu parried his shot with the stolen Kunai.
Zetsu started laughing as roots and plants started to come out of the ground, constricting around Kakashi. Kakashi cut the plants in half. Zetsu was rising due to the plants under him. Kakashi dodged the plants as he went for the heart of Zetsu. The plants grabbed on to Kakashi leg and tripped him. The other plants gathered around Kakashi and tried to crush him. Kakashi grabbed a Shuriken from his pouch and cut it just in time.
Zetsu started laughing again. "This is fun isn't it?"
"Oh yes indeed, he seems keen to kill us. I wonder how his flesh tastes."
"Looks like I'll have to use it." Kakashi said as he made some hand signs. A blue sphere started forming around Kakashi's right hand and the sound of chirping filled the air. "Raikiri! Lightning Blade!"
Kakashi started running toward Zetsu. Zetsu seemed to keep his smile on his face as he saw he was coming.
Kakashi was about to crash his hand in Zetsu's chest, but was blocked by a root. Kakashi stared into Zetsu's Yellow eyes.
"You're lightning blade is useless in this fight Kakashi." Zetsu said "I shall block it every time!"
"Yes and it seems you don't have enough chakra anyway." The plant started to constrict around Kakashi's body again. This time however his hands were out of reach from his tools.
"Damn, he's right, there's not enough, I used too much for the Sharingan." Kakashi thought "It looks like I'll have to use the next level. But... I need to get out of here to control my chakra." he thought.
"You're slipping Kakashi, I expected more from you" Someone said from outside
"What the... what are you doing? I told you to stay out!" Zetsu yelled "What are you... gyahhh!!!!"
The sound of slashing came out from behind the vines. It sounded as someone just killed Zetsu, but who?
A kunai came close to Kakashi's face and it slid down to cut him free.
The face was not what Kakashi expected. The face was hidden behind an orange swirled mask.
Kakashi jumped back from Tobi ready to fight. "Why did you kill you're partner?" Kakashi asked
Tobi laughed "You're still serious as ever Kakashi."
"Tell me, what is you're real name? I know Tobi is an alias." Kakashi said
Tobi laughed again "What, you've forgotten my voice already? I can't believe you."
Tobi slowly took off his mask.
Kakashi could not believe what he saw. "O...Obito...?"
The man that stood in front of him was a man that had goggles over his eyes and his left eye was wrapped in guaze. He smiled as the long toothpick stood up.
"Surprised to see me old friend?" Obito said as he took off his Akatsuki cloak.
"You... how can... I saw you... you were crushed." Kakashi said
Obito chuckled "you can thank Arashi-Sensei. If it wasn't for him, I would be mince meat."
"Hmhm, I see." Kakashi said "All this time, I beat myself up because I was such an idiot back then. It made it worse when you were left in that cave. I had your blood on my hands."
"Yeah, your right, you were pretty arrogant back then." Obito joked
"I'll ignore that, and I'll ask more questions later. But first..."
"Get him! He's a spy!" one of the sound Nin said as the others followed.
Kakashi and Obito started to slash at the Nin.
"It looks like we hafta take out the trash." Obito said as he slashed another
"Looks like, we'll have to finish our conversation some other time, right Obito?" Kakashi said
"Hey Kakashi, you ready to see a new move?" Obito said chuckling
"I was about to ask the same thing." Kakashi said as he and Obito concentrated their chakra.
"Mangenkyo Sharingan!" They both said as their Sharingan became like Sasuke's.
Obito started laughing "So you know this move as well, huh?" he said "Damn, I thought for once, I would know something you didn't"
Kakashi laughed back "You should know that I can't let that happen. I haven't been slacking off like you have."
The sound Nin started to come at the two, and were being thrown out of the way by their massive attacks.
"Orochimaru," Arashi said smirking "come to get you're ass handed to you again?" he asked
Orochimaru chuckled coldly "Not this time. In fact, I have come as nothing more than a messenger. He really wants to see you again."
"I see," Arashi said "Tell him, I'm bringing him home whether he wants to or not Orochimaru." he said as he smiled
Orochimaru laughed and turned "I don't think he'll be to keen to return Arashi."
Orochimaru looked as though he was about to depart.
"Oh, one more thing." Orochimaru said not looking back to see the trio. "His partner is very keen to seeing you again."
"His partner?" Arashi said confused "Tell me, who is it?"
"In good time. But I assure you, you will be pleasantly surprised." Orochimaru said as he disappeared as he laughed coldly.
Arashi didn't know what he meant. But he had other matters to attend to at the moment. He hurried on with Naruto and Hinata on his tail.
"Dad, what did he mean?" Naruto asked
"Dunno, but now things will get complicated. He said that he has a partner. This only means that the mission has changed." Arashi said as he stopped on the ground.
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked
"I just mean, you two will not follow me any longer" Arashi said as he appeared behind Naruto and Hinata in a yellow flash. He hit them both on the neck, knocking them both out.
Arashi set them onto a tree. He put his hand out toward them "Shield!" he said as a yellow orb formed around the two and disappeared. "That will do for now. I'm sorry Naruto... Hinata. I can't see you two hurt." Arashi said as he headed forward, leaving the sleeping couple on the tree.
Choji jumped back getting in formation.
"Choji, no." Shikamaru said "This one will be mine."
Ino jumped back as did Choji.
Kakuzu laughed "I guess Hidan spoke too soon when he said you were smart."
"Really?" Shikamaru said
"Let's see what you can do kid" Kakuzu said getting ready
"Kage mane no Jutsu, Shadow Possession" A shadow went toward Kakuzu.
Kakuzu laughed and split his limbs so that the Shadow missed him.
Shikamaru didn't seem too surprised at the fact that his limbs were separated.
Shikamaru's shadow separated and went after the limbs. The limbs froze in the air.
"Choji, Now!" Shikamaru called
"Right!" Choji said as he jumped toward Shikamaru. "Baroooom!!!! Human Bolder!!!" Choji rolled into a giant ball and rolled over Kakuzu.
Kakuzu was rolled over and his body was smashed.
"Ha ha! We did it! One down." Choji said as he transformed back
The smashed body of Kakuzu started laughing "Did you really think I'd be killed that easily."
His arm fell to the ground and his body regained form. "One heart down, I guess" he said "That's just great"
"What's this guy made of?" Shikamaru asked
Kakuzu didn't wait any; he shot strings toward Choji and tied him up. "There, now that human boulder is no more."
"I see, so you have a heart in each of your limbs, that's why you're arm fell, right?" Shikamaru said
Kakuzu laughed "You like being a little wise-ass don't you?"
"It just makes it easier." Shikamaru made the same handsigns for the shadow possession
"You one trick pony!" Kakuzu split in four again "I have already developed a counter act" his arms went toward Shikamaru faster than the shadow did.
Shikamaru moved over to his side quickly. Kakuzu's arms followed
They stopped as they were about to strangle Shikamaru. "Wh-what?" Kakuzu was caught
Shikamaru looked down as to let him look down he was caught in the shadow of where Choji slammed Kakuzu the first time.
Kakuzu laughed "what are you going to do? You can't do anything to me, or else I do it to you, And I don't think Blondie can do much for you"
"Your wrong, Ino can do something very grave to you, she and her friend Sakura have been training under Lady Tsunade. She could indeed crush every one of your hearts, but that's not my plan. Multi-Shadow Strangle Jutsu!"
All of Shikamaru's shadows reached into Kakuzu's limbs and pulled out a pulsing heart. Kakuzu was not even given a chance to scream. He died instantly.
The wire twisted around Choji slacked.
"Motherfuck!" Hidan said loudly "That little shit! I knew he wouldn't last too long"
Shikamaru, Choji, and Ino looked up at him.
"Looks like I will have to get rid of these little shits." Hidan said as he got on his knees and looked like he was praying "Oh merciless evil lord, give me the strength to destroy those who have opposed you, give me the power to obliterate my enemies and send them toward you for more punishment." He got up and pulled out what looked like a scythe with two sickles.
"Let me guess, you're going to use a cheesy line like, ' I'm twice powerful than your average reaper', right?" Shikamaru said
"Fuck you," Hidan swung his blade and a shockwave blasted the three off their feet
"Damn, didn't see that one coming" Shikamaru said as he got back up.
Hidan ran towards them and swung his scythe down just missing Shikamaru. Strangly, Ino and Choji both went unnoticed. Shikamaru was now dodging for his life.
"Hah! Come on smart-ass, that all you got!" Hidan said swinging madly
"Why is he only going after Shikamaru?" Choji asked as he saw a barrage of attacks from Hidan.
"Isn't it obvious?" Ino asked, "He thinks Shikamaru is the biggest threat."
Choji laughed "He thinks he's the biggest threat?"
Ino laughed too "Should I show him who the biggest threat is?"
"I'd say it's time he learned." Choji said
Ino ran toward Hidan and smashed her fist in his back. She heard the satisfying crack of his spine. After she chopped at his neck with so much force, it came clear off.
Shikamaru sighed as he dropped "Thanks Ino, I was wondering when you'll do something."
"No problem." Ino smiled as she held out her hand to help him up. Shikamaru gladly took it.
"Motherfuck!!!"
"Looks like you won't be wakin' up for a while, huh Kit?" Kyuubi said to himself as Naruto slepped soundly on Hinata's shoulder.
he looked up at the sky sniffing the air. "Just a little farther."
Naruto was sleeping soundly as his father and Kyuubi were outside his window.
"Kyu... Do you know the reason I released your seal?" Arashi asked
"I'm not really sure why Arashi, but no doubt you have a plan." Kyuubi said
"Yeah, no doubt my brother will come after Naruto for your power." Arashi said
"Heh... so that's how it is, huh?" Kyuubi said "You want me to lend my power to the Kit."
"That's only part of it Kyuubi." Arashi said "I want you to lend Naruto your powers when his life is in danger or if you feel he needs your powers. And... I want you to protect him. Because If I'm ever in a situation where I must leave Naruto behind... it means that I think that I might die."
"I gotcha Arashi, If that time ever comes where you leave Naruto, I will protect him as much as I can." Kyuubi said looking at Naruto sleeping "But if he wants to go and help you out, that's his choice, and I can't change his decision."
"If he wants to find me, let him." Arashi said "It just means he's as stubborn as his mother" Arashi was about to jump back to his room "Oh one more thing Kyu,"
"what's that?"
Arashi smiled back "'member, tomorrow's Naruto's birthday!"
"I just hope you know what you're doing Arashi" Kyuubi said as he waited to break the seal around them.
Itachi and Kisame landed in a clearing
"this should be far enough" Itachi said
"Leader just wants us to kill anybody that come through the gate right?" Kisame asked
"Yes, that is our mission" Itachi said
"Itachi..."
"Hm? Who was that?" Kisame asked
"Uchiha!!!"
Itachi looked up at the pine tree as if he knew what was there. Sasuke looked down with fierce hate.
Nxh592: Well it's time to go now. Today, I have the most badass teacher that I know Ekichi Onizuka.
Onizuka: Whatup!
Kon: I'll kill you Nxh! you think that bleaching your hair's gonna fool me! ( hitting Onizuka's leg)
Nxh592: Hey what up Kon got your lion body back I see.
Kon: Wait a minute, if your there, then who's...
Onizuka: The name's Ekichi Onizuka, 22 years old, And do you know what I do to little stuffed animals such as yourself?
Kon: uhh.. heheh
Onizuka: I slice them up! (grabs Chainsaw)
Kon: Gyaaaahhhh!!!!! get me away from this maniac!! he's crazy!!!!
Nxh592: Onizuka put him down.
Onizuka: fine (throws Kon far)
Kon: Waaaaahhhh!!! (lands in Azusa's chest) I don't care how it always happens, but I love it.
Onizuka: Y'know Nxh Azusa is a hell of a baseball player.
Nxh592:Really how far can she hit a baseball?
Onizuka: I'd say somewhere near as 650...
Nxh592: Wow that's further than the pro's
Onizuka: Thousand yards
Nxh592: She's a demon!
Kon: Eh? what was that?
Azusa: (throws Kon in the air)
Kon: What the? What's going on?
Azusa: (hit's Kon with baseball bat) Impact!!!
Kon: Looks like Kon's blasting off agaaaaaaaaaain!!!!!
Nxh592: It's going back back back back back back it's outta here! just shy of Orihime's record. very nice ms. Fuyitsuki.
Azusa: Thanks
Nxh592: Now questions for you two. Onizuka first, how's your head after the surgery?
Onizuka: huh? Surgery, what surgery?
Azusa: (waving arms no)
Nxh592: Well I mean how is your head after that kid with the bat hit it?
Onizuka: Y'know, after I went to save that big-breasted bimbo, and went back to the hospital, the rest is a blur. I woke up, and I felt so much better.
Nxh592: Interesting, next question. Onizuka, did you ever make permanent teacher?
Onizuka: Yeah I am GPTO, Great Permanent Teacher Onizuka! And Ms Chairwoman didn't hafta pull any strings.
Nxh592: well If I was in your class, I would have a damn good time. Next question, Azusa, how do you teach you're students?
Azusa: Almost the same way Onizuka does, except I stay within the law.
Nxh592: Well there goes my threatening theory
Onizuka: Oh she threatens, she just does it smart
Nxh592: I see, So Azusa, how are things between you and this gangster here?
Azusa: Well... uhh...
Onizuka: don't be shy Azusa here made me feel so good. whoo she does this thing with (chainsaw rattling) cherry pits (Jackhammer) Tight shorts (hammers) Big rubber bands (backing up horn) and a baseball, that is the best.
Nxh592: Holy shit! Hey sorry for the noise peoples they're building something next door.
Onizuka: You should see what she does when she puts on a construction worker outfit on
Azusa: E-Ekichi!
Nxh592: mm-hmm I see Well that's all for today, join us next time for Chapter 14 Sasuke Vs Itachi The truth revealed.
All: stay tuned!