Episode 6- Vitamin D
Howard Bamboo& Matt Rutherford
Dear Journal,
I've always been terrified of Terri Schuester. But sometimes, occasionally, she can be protective of me. And funny (like when she was doing all those Linda Blair impersonations). But mostly she freaks me out. She's always pushing me and stressing me out. But now she's gone to work as a nurse. Knowing her, it'll end horribly, but I'm enjoying my time without her. I've found I CAN count past thirty if she isn't the one waiting for me to do so.
Howard Bamboo
Dear Journal,
Terri Schuester called me today. Unfortunately she recognized me on the phone…maybe I shouldn't have reminded her of my last name… I'm already missing the few days I had without her. She ordered me to buy thirty-six boxes of decongestant for the kids at McKinley. I'm worried, as I usually can't count past 30 when she's depending on me to… maybe I'll just do thirty and hope she doesn't notice. And I suppose I better take the rest of the day off. She generally has me do lots of errands for her once she gets me to do one small thing.
Howard Bamboo
Dear Journal,
What did I say? I bring her 36 boxes of decongestant. Next thing I know, I'm running to the store to get folic acid. And after that, I'm standing with her in the nurse's office, taking blue tablets out of their tinfoil cover and putting them into tiny plastic cups she hands to the patients. I'm now officially her assistant. Basically all I do is hand out vitamins, pour water into cups, and stand there waiting for her to order me do something. I hope this ends soon, or I start getting paid. Sheets and Things won't keep paying me forever…
Howard Bamboo
Dear Journal,
I can't believe it. I was arrested. All because Terri Schuester asked me to bring her 36 more boxes of decongestant. Apparently decongestants are a starter ingredient in making crystal meth, so the feds tackled me and searched my house for a meth lab. I was interrogated for six hours, and then allowed to go home with a warning that buying more than two or three boxes of that stuff looked suspicious to them, and they would keep an eye on me. I'm really worried now. Never before has something she's done gotten me into this kind of trouble! I can't do her bidding next time. I have to be strong and grow a back bone…otherwise I could land in prison.
Howard Bamboo
Dear Journal,
Mr. Schue told us about our competition for sectionals a couple weeks ago. We had all been having fun and doing different things (Rachel roped me into this weird choreographed dance circle thing with Finn and Tina). Once he told us our competition, (Dayton school for the Deaf and Jane Addams Academy for Girls) we were all pretty psyched. Tina and I got a chance to try out our new little handshake and we all started talking excitedly. Since that day though, most people haven't been trying at the choreography. I'll admit, I've been doing the same thing, because well…sectionals will be a cakewalk, as Artie said. But Mr. Schue's been getting pretty upset, and I think he's going to do something to get us to step up soon. I just hope it doesn't involve laps for two hours. That's Coach Tanaka's usual punishment.
Matt
Dear Journal,
Mr. Schue came up with a pretty good idea to get us psyched up again. We're having a competition! Its girls versus boys. We need to do full choreography and costumes, as well as a mash-up of two songs that work well together. Artie told Mr. Schue we intend to smack the girls down like the hand of God...
So we chose our songs. It's a mash-up of It's My Life/Confessions. Finn was falling asleep nearly every day. But then he went to the nurse and came back all awake and said he'd taken a vitamin. He was pretty psycho, nearly throwing me out of my chair and going on about building houses for habitat for humanity. He brought some back for us, and we all were pretty awake and energetic after that. We came up with some pretty kickass choreography, and I think our costumes of jeans with a white shirt and leather jacket are simple enough to go with the songs. Kurt gave us some problems with the costumes though. He wanted us to do our hair in cornrows (hello shaved head?) and to use exotic feathers. Obviously we told him all the stuff was too costly, though I don't really think the corn rows would have cost us anything…anyways, we were even able to get a couple of the tech nerds to get us some cool lighting, to make our performance a lot better. I can't wait to see the girls' faces tomorrow!
Matt
Dear Journal,
We performed today! I think we freaked out the girls, because we were so good. It was so much easier to dance and sing with energy while on that vitamin…after the performance we were so excited that Mr. Schue asked if someone had slipped something in our juice. It worried me for a second, but when everyone else laughed it off, I shrugged it off too. We all acted sort of embarrassingly excited though when he said we might do it for sectionals. I think some of the girls were suspicious, especially Santana…Anyways, the point is we probably won, and we did amazing!
Matt
Dear Journal,
So the girls did a pretty awesome mash-up too, but both of our groups were "disqualified" when the teachers found out about the "vitamins' which were actually decongestants. Unfortunately this incident made it so that we were given a co-captain to teach Glee club with Mr. Schue. It's Mrs. Sylvester. She's kinda scary, but on the whole, I'm trying to remain positive. Maybe she really doesn't want to destroy Glee club as much Santana says she does. I guess we have to wait and see though.
Matt