Written by sabreenyweeny. Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy but Goddamn, I wish I did.

Reno and Kadaj sat together on the couch. Heavy pants filled the room as Kadaj's complexion matched that of a ripe tomato.

A warm, thick liquid filled Kadaj's mouth.

Kadaj choked and quickly spat it out, making a stain on the poor carpet. "Reno! You said you would warn me if it tasted bad!"

"Shut up. There's something called swallowing, honey," Reno said matter-of-factly.

"You said this stuff would make me feel better! So much for that!"

Reno looked at Kadaj, with a new air of seriousness surrounding him. His eyes were full of authority as he said, "You will soon."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?!"

"You'll feel better soon. Cloud says that this stuff works wonders on making people feel better," Reno said, plastering on his goofiest grin. "I swear, it will grant you pleasure."

"Ew! And stick that gross thing into my mouth again?!"

"Well, that's generally how it works."

Kadaj groaned and gave in. Reno shoved it in his mouth. "Fi mrate you," he mumbled. His garbled words sounded a lot like "I hate you," but Reno disregarded it and clucked his tongue in disappointment.

"Suck harder. How the hell are you supposed to know you can swallow this?"

Kadaj panted. He's never felt this way before.

"A fever of 103," Reno announced as he pulled the gross thermometer out of Kadaj's mouth. It sat underneath Reno's tragically disgusting bed for maybe half a century. It doesn't work very well so in order to get the least bit of accuracy out of it, you had to suck hard.

"Looks like you have to take some of it."

"I can't swallow that stuff!" Kadaj yelped in fear. He buried himself underneath the blankets despite the immense heat he was experiencing from his fever. He knew Reno was going to force it down his throat and he had to hide.

He panted loudly as he gasped for air. His head hurt with almost too much intensity and he groaned.

Reno returned with the notoriously hated, warm, white medicine that Kadaj loved oh so much.

He felt better the next day.