This mission was turning into a goddamn game of musical chairs. 'Round and 'round they went, and each time, someone else was gone, until there was only one chair left and only one man stand- sitting. Whoop-de-doo. He'd managed to lose Daniel and Carter in an accidental ambush so poorly executed that little old ladies could've beaten it.
Which made it a little teensy bit vexing that he fell for it. It was just sheer bad timing, right as Carter finished up some poking around in the ship's computers- Bam! Bunch of Jaffa, doing inventory or something equally stupid. It was like they'd crawled out of the non-existent woodwork.
The numbers were against them, but that wouldn't have been a problem if he'd been paying more attention. He'd grown complacent. Raid a few dozen motherships and sooner or later they all started to seem the same. Corridors, Jaffa, egomaniacal bad guy... Occupational hazard- you ended up letting your guard down. Except it had been his team, so...
So he'd deal with it after they all made their daring escape, that's what he'd do. There might even be memos. Stern ones.
Jack reached down to his radio and clicked it on. "Carter? Teal'c. Daniel. Come in." He clicked it off, but there was no response. He held the button down again, "Hellooo." Nothing. Same as ten minutes ago. Great. He let his hand fall from his vest, where the radio was clipped and resumed walking. He was heading for the cells- hopefully an opportunity would present itself. Or maybe, if any of his team were still free, they'd have the same idea.
He rounded another corner when his radio cracked to life.
"Colonel O'Neill," came Teal'c's voice right into his ear. Jack clicked the radio on. "Good to hear from you, Teal'c, what's your status?" He let go.
"I am fine, O'Neill."
"What took you so long?" He paused. "I've already lost Daniel and Carter."
"I was captured by some Bull Guards. It took a few moments to defeat them." While Jack was still chewing on this, Teal'c continued: "Perhaps they are together, working on disabling the ship."
Jack stopped walking. "The guards?" he asked, still stuck on 'a few moments'.
"Major Carter and Daniel Jackson," Teal'c clarified.
"Right, right." He cleared his throat. "So where are you?"
"I am preparing to enter the cells," came the reply, stoic as ever.
"Lead you right to them, eh?"
"It was convenient."
"Of course it was." Jack took off down the hall. "Wait for me." He shook his head, trying to concentrate on the task at hand, but gave in. "Really a few moments?"
"They were...poorly trained," Teal'c answered. "Many of their generation have begun to abandon the less powerful Goa'uld. Mithras is a minor lord. The most skilled warriors in his service are most likely spies."
"Good to know. If I run into any, I'll try flashing them the secret handshake." He jogged around yet another corner.
"I do not believe that would be effective." The radio gave a crackle.
"Where do they go, anyway?" he asked.
"Many chose to join the Free Jaffa."
Jack looked down at his radio. "About that secret handshake..."
"The rest tend to enter the service of Ba'al."
"Ah. Never mind then." He hurried a little faster down the halls, and at long last reached the alcove Teal'c was lurking in- looming? Teal'c didn't lurk very well.
It was easy to find for other reasons as well. All the bodies kind of gave it away.
Jack did a quick headcount. There were four, and they had all been armed. Teal'c saw his gaze.
"They were-" Teal'c began.
"Very poorly trained," Jack interrupted. "Right. Gotcha."
Perhaps it was a good thing the higher ups hadn't known about things like this when Teal'c had first joined them.
"Okay-" he said, and then the doors across the hall opened. Jack pulled his gun up, but the first face that popped out was a familiar one.
Carter blinked at him. "Sir."
"Carter. I'm guessing a rescue is not in order?" He let his grip on the gun relax.
"Uh, no sir." Carter still looked a little startled to see him.
"Something wrong with your radio, then?" He said it patiently. Patience- patience was the key.
"Ah – yes sir. It got fried when the panel blew." There was a note of apology in her voice, but he got the feeling that was just her humoring him.
"Remind me when we get back, Carter, to see about getting radios more durable than walkie-talkies."
"Sir?"
He waved a hand. "Never mind."
Most of SG-15 shuffled out behind her, sheepishly reattaching their gear. The regulars, anyway. The scientists temporarily assigned to them looked a little green around the gills, and mostly just milled around uselessly. Jack sighed inwardly. One last figure stepped out into the hall. It was a young man who looked no more than fifteen, baby-faced and and a nose that might be called 'patrician' by someone feeling charitable. He was wearing armor that looked far too big for him, though if his chest swelled up any more it wouldn't present a problem; he'd just float, like a balloon.
"Carter...who's your friend?" Jack drawled.
The boy's eyes went wide, and fixed on a point behind Jack.
"Oh- Colonel O'Neill, meet Sal'ek. Sal'ek, Colonel O'Neill. He, ah, assisted me." Jack understood. She'd gotten stuck babysitting, but didn't want to hurt the boy's feelings. The boy colored, but he didn't look away from whatever he was staring at. Jack turned to look.
Teal'c was standing – looming, really – at his shoulder. Jack turned his head back to the boy.
"Master Teal'c," the boy squeaked.
Teal'c inclined his head. "You are very young to be serving as a warrior. Should you not be at home, taking care of you mother?"
"I am honored to serve!" Teal'c obviously had a fan. "Master Bra'tac once came to my village. He spoke of you, and of the fight for freedom. That is why I am here," he added proudly.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow.
"...and the recruiters," the boy finished.
"Indeed."
Jack clapped his hands together. "Well, as charming as this has all been, we all have places we need to be. Pierce, round up your team and head back down to the gate. Carter, Teal'c, you're with me. We'll go round up Daniel."
"Sir-" Carter and Pierce spoke at the same time.
Jack looked at them expectantly. "Yes?"
They looked at each other, than Pierce said, "I'm still missing two of my team. They weren't with us when we were captured."
"No one answered our hails on the surface," Carter murmured. She was frowning.
"You think they're on the ship, don't you," Jack said, looking at Pierce. "Couldn't it just be...broken radios...?"
Pierce considered it. "Maybe, sir. But knowing those two? They'll be here somewhere. One way or another. They go looking for trouble on the rare occasions when trouble doesn't find them."
Jack sighed. "Alright. We'll keep a look out. What are their names?"
"Winchester." The man winced.
Jack waited for him to continue. When he didn't, he said, "Both of them?" slightly pointedly.
"Yessir." Pierce was taking refuge in regulations.
"What are they, related?" Jack joked.
"Brothers," Pierce informed him.
Jack blinked, then stared hard at him. "I was kidding! How the hell did that happen?"
"I'm not entirely sure, sir."
"Alright, alright." He rubbed his forehead. "I think I remember them. Carter?"
She lowered her voice. "What about Sal'ek?"
Jack glanced over the boy, who was still staring at Teal'c with rapt attention. "He's with us. He can be our trusty guide. Pierce- you shouldn't have any trouble. I don't think they were expecting any visitors- there was only two men at the gate and we already took care of them. Let's move out."
Pierce saluted and shepherded his team down the opposite hallway.
Jack watched him go. "Let's go see if we can find where Daniel wandered off to this time. Any bets?"
"Well, if he's not here...control room, maybe?" Carter suggested.
Jack nodded thoughtfully. Then he looked down at the boy. "Well?" The boy looked confused. "Guiding. Go on. We're in need of it." The boy grinned and strode down the hall. They followed, though less conspicuously.
"Why did you not send him down to the planet with SG-15?" Teal'c asked when the kid was out of ear shot.
"I don't want him getting caught in the crossfire. If things go south, he can blend in a lot better up here than down there. It'll be a lot easier to hide the fact he's helping us. Look at him." He gestured, encompassing in one vague wave of his hand the boy's youth, size, and inexperience. "No one would expect him to be able to fight us. What is he doing here, anyway?"
"Mithras seems to have trouble filling his ranks. He was most likely taken from his home and brought here," Teal'c answered. His face was grave, but then wasn't it always.
"The recruiters he mentioned...?" Jack shook his head. "He's just a kid."
"I would not be surprised to see him in training, but he should not be here. They must have lost very many, to go to such lengths," Teal said. He was watching the boy. His usual stoicism gave way to something more wistful and sad.
"We'll send him home." Jack said. His voice was a little gruff. He pressed his lips together.
Teal'c nodded his head, beginning to reply when an alarm sounded. Carter jumped. So did Jack. Teal'c...didn't.
"What the hell is that?" Jack demanded.
Carter shook her head. Teal'c listened for a moment and said, "I believe it is a general alert. It is not uncommon for the lesser vassals to have them. They are..." he searched for the appropriate comparison, "panic buttons."
"Oh. Okay," Jack said, a little relieved. It made sense, what with prisoners escaping and all that. Made their jobs a little harder but-
"It will trigger the self-destruct if it is not deactivated," Teal'c added. Jack came to a halt and stared at him. "Great," he said. "Well kids, I think we can safely say we've found Daniel. The bridge it is. Shall we?"
The turned at the next passageway, and Sal'ek once again tried to take the lead. "Not this time, kid," Jack told him. "I think we know the way. You stay behind us."
The boy looked like he wanted to protest, but acquiesced when he saw the look on Jack's face.
Ten minutes later, they were neared the bridge. Staff blasts and shouting echoed down the corridor. Jack leaned against the wall and cautiously peeked around the corner. Six Jaffa were trying to blast their way in. They weren't having much luck, but then again, they wouldn't. No self-respecting evil overlord would have the doors to his throne room be as easy to bust down as all the rest. And the Goa'uld, despite everything else, were only stupid about some things, not everything. He eased back and signaled to the others.
Ambushes weren't all bad... provided he got to be the one doing the ambushing. A few minutes of shooting interspersed with ducking, and the corridor was theirs.
But now they were the ones with the problem of breaking in.
"Daniel! Open up!" he shouted. There was no response.
"The doors are probably fairly sound-proof, sir," Carter suggested.
Jack pulled off his hat and dragged a hand over his head.
"What do you think? Explosives?"
"We could probably set a charge small enough to at least weaken the doors, sir, without risking-"
"Blowing us all to kingdom come, Carter?" He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Uh- yes."
"Good. Let's do it."
A few minutes later, they were hoofing it back around the corner.
"Fire in the hole," Carter said, and then she pushed the button.
BOOM. He'd been expecting loud. He had not been expecting anything quite that loud. It was sound with texture, heavy and sharp.
"Carter... are you sure you didn't go a little overboard?" He really needed to work on the sarcasm. Or not, it did seem to work for him.
"What would make you say that?" She replied, a little too innocently.
Jack peeked around the corner again. The doors were no longer… doors.
"Oh, nothing."
He picked up his gun and sauntered around the corner. Teal'c and Carter followed. The blast hadn't destroyed the doors, but it had bent them inward, like some bizarre metal oragami. He poked his head in.
"Yoo-hoo," he called. Inside was a fairly standard bridge, though it definitely had a 'cave' vibe going.
"Oh. Hey, Jack," said Daniel casually. He was standing on the other side of the room with two men in Jaffa armor whom Jack vaguely recognized from...something. One was covered in blood obviously not his own.
"So- how's it going?"
"Oh, you know. Same old, same old. A little torture, a little deicide."
Jack stepped into the room, and gestured for the others to follow. "Good, good."
Carter went over to the wall and started poking things. Eventually a panel of crystals slid out, and she busied herself with that.
Jack looked down at the headless body at Daniel's feet, then up at the tall young man who was covered in blood.
"Novel." He glanced over at the bloody machete lying on the floor. "You brought the machete along...why?" he said to the blood-covered young man, who just blinked at him.
"They come in handy," said his (presumable) brother.
"I'm getting that," Jack said, bemused. "So- beheading-"
"Most things find being headless an inconvenience," the (presumable) brother murmured. There was some sarcasm there, and if Jack was feeling less charitable, he might have said there was a hint of insolence as well. Graciously, he chose to ignore it.
"...Yes, that's certainly...true." Daniel agreed. He was shooting Jack odd, furtive little glances. Whatever it was, it was going to have to wait.
"So. I'm guessing you're the Winchesters."
"Yeah, that's us," the bloody one said, touching the back of his head and wincing.
"SG-15," the other oh-so-helpfully supplied. Every line of his body seemed to threaten insubordination. Hell, even his hair. Spiked was not acceptable by Air Force standards.
"Yeah, I got that," Jack said. He raised his voice, calling out hopefully, "Carter? Any luck with the alarm?"
"Sorry, sir. Maybe if I had more time..."
"Well, you don't. Right?" He glanced up at Daniel, who nodded. "There are but fifteen minutes remaining, O'Neill," Teal'c confirmed.
"Alright, campers. We're out of here. Back to the rings. Hup, hup."
The retreat down the endless halls was made with a little less enthusiasm than Jack would have liked. You'd the think the threat of being blown up would motivate people to move a little faster, but apparently not so much.
The brothers Winchester seemed to be finding the time to complain about the décor.
"All these damn corridors look the same. I don't know how you all tell them apart." Jack didn't look behind him to see which one it was. He just made mental note of the 'you all'.
Daniel, on the other hand, hobbled along next to him, giving it his best. He had an arm wrapped around his ribs and he was wincing.
"Threw you into a wall, did he?" Jack asked knowingly as they passed yet another storage room that was not the one they needed.
"You'd think they'd go for some variety one in a while," Daniel answered.
Jack glanced back at the Winchesters, who were moving at a similarly slow pace, with similarly pained expressions. Jack was guessing it wasn't from bruised ribs, in their cases. The armor was damned uncomfortable, as he knew from personal experience.
The boy trailed behind them, his eyes wider than even before.
Jack turned his head back around and looked at Teal'c.
"I think you're going to have to share your fan," Jack he remarked.
"Perhaps it is so," Teal'c said, a hint of amusement in his tone.
"I suppose actually seeing a freshly-killed false god trumps a few false god-killing stories." Jack went on.
"He is very young," Teal'c said, "He became caught up in events perhaps unwillingly, but sees it as a chance to be part of the stories the old men tell." They turned into another corridor.
"Just call him Jim Hawkins?" Jack asked.
Teal'c looked at him evenly. "Why would I do that?"
"Treasure Island? No? Never mind; we'll rent it."
They turned another corner, finally reaching the storage room with the transport rings. The brothers seemed a bit leery of them, but eventually they got everyone safely within the rings. Jack ran over and pushed the button, then darted back in the circle before the rings opened up and carried them to the surface of the planet below.
Major Pierce was waiting for them.
"What are you still doing here, Pierce?"
The major shifted uncomfortably. "Can't dial out, sir. They must have a gate on board. They're probably evacuating."
"That should be okay; we can wait. Can't we?" he looked around the assembled group. There were a series of vague nods.
"Until someone gets word out to Anubis," Daniel added.
"You just had to say it, didn't you?" Jack asked.
Daniel shrugged.
Jack rolled his eyes. "We should still have some time, at least. You- Dr..."
"Colma," said SG-15's resident scientist, a pretty woman who looked far too young to have as many doctorates as she did.
"Colma, right. You're in charge of dialing out. Keep trying it until you get a lock. The rest of you- just... be ready. There could still be some Jaffa around."
"About seven," the more belligerent Winchester interjected, though in this case he was actually being helpful and not a pain in the ass.
"Oh?"
"We ran into them," explained the heretofore sheepish one, "An old man and six idiots."
"I wonder if any of them have managed to find their way back yet," the first said. The question had an academic quality to it.
His brother shrugged. Jack opened his mouth to ask them what exactly they'd done to the patrol when Daniel cut in.
"Jack-" he said.
"Yes, Daniel?"
"Could I speak to you for a moment?" His tone was strangely insistent, and from the pointed eye spasms, Jack got the idea that it was about the two young men.
"Sure." But Daniel didn't want to chat within earshot of anyone else, it seemed. Jack followed Daniel as he wandered over to the far side of the clearing.
"It's about Sam and Dean," he said.
"Who?"
"The Winchesters."
"Which is which?" Jack asked, momentarily nonplussed.
"The tall one covered in blood is Sam, and the smart-ass is his brother, Dean."
"Okay, yeah, so what about them?"
Daniel paused, apparently searching for the right words. He looked up at the sky, as if expecting to find the answers there.
"Well?"
Daniel pressed his lips together. "I'm not sure where to start."
"Pick somewhere, Daniel," Jack said. His patience at this point was growing a mite thin. "Start with the head-cutting."
"That's really not the weird thing," Daniel said.
"No?"
"Trust me, it's not. They don't know what they should. I'm not sure..."
"What? Are you saying they're fakes?"
"No, not exactly. They are who they say they are, I think. For the most part. I don't think they're SGC, though. They don't know anything about the goa'uld."
"Yeah, I can see how that would be...not good. But I kind of recognize them, and Pierce sure the hell does- he asked us to look for them."
"This wouldn't be the first time."
"You're talking about the Tyler thing, aren't you?"
"Well-" Daniel was trying to look conciliatory. Jack hated when he did that.
"Daniel, there's a hole in that little theory: They may not know about the SGC, but they sure seem like some of our boys to me. Hell, they were telling the kid about the pie at some diner in Tucson. Tyler didn't know anything about Earth, let alone anything in enough detail to fake that."
"Okay, so maybe it's not exactly like that, but it's something. I am pretty sure they're from Earth, but-"
"But what?"
"They… uh..." Daniel trailed off.
"Spit it out already,"
Daniel flexed his hands, as if trying to strangle the words. "They think they're in a TV show."
Jack said nothing for a minute.
"Come again?"
"They think all of this-" he gestured at the clearing, "and all of us, I might add, are just...fictional."
" Oh, for crying out loud, Daniel. You've got to be kidding me."
"I'm not. I really wish I was."
Jack pulled off his hat and scrubbed a hand through his hair.
"So what, they just shared this with you?"
"Not exactly, no," Daniel said. He glanced over at the men in question. "It was like they kept forgetting I was there."
"Well, it's rude but-"
"Then they asked me if I'd ever had a concussion, because as this was an action show, such things should be impossible."
"Ah."
"Yes."
"Right. Well. When we get back, we'll ship them directly off to Fraiser. She'll figure out what's wrong with them. Maybe they have amnesia."
"I don't think amnesia works that way, Jack."
Jack shrugged. "Nothing we can do about it now."
"I'll just…keep an eye on them," Daniel said.
"Good idea. You do that." Jack headed back for the rest of the group. With any luck, they'd get home soon and that would be the end of it.