Oh wow, an update? As a matter of fact, yes, I have not forgotten about this story and have returned to finish it! I am so very sorry for introducing a story and not updating it for a year, but when I started writing Klutz, this story ended up taking backseat in my inspiration car. This is the second installment in the Meet the Family three-shot, and this chapter includes dinnertime, some of the "apologies", and tons of romantic akuroku scenes!
Thank you to: happytears, Pandablubb, kellegirl, With a side of stereotype, AshleyPorter, Crimson Paw, You've been hit by, you. broke. a. promise, RowanWolf, yuki22lovers, StoicCrying, CrimsonChaos9, and flames04. Your reviews were very encouraging and entertaining to read! I especially enjoyed the glass of milk from yuki22lovers, and the beaten kitten look from StoicCrying (you made me get my head in the game with that image!). I'm sorry once more for the wait.
P.S. Thank you to Pandablubb for pointing out a major flaw in the last chapter! I'm so glad you pointed it out-- Roxas' last name is Haiku, not Strife. Thanks Pandablubb!
Enjoy!
Then
1:35 P.M.
"Alright, so here's the plan. Yunie, you start whispering dirty things into his ear. I'll take the pictures, and Paine, you keep that door closed, no matter what happens."
"I don't actually think this is a good-"
"Yunie, you're totally wrong. You do think. In this case, you just shouldn't."
"Rikku, I agree with Yuna. This plan…it's not very foolproof. We usually think this shit out."
"Well, Paine, we usually don't apologize, but we are now. So this is a good time to start new traditions!"
Using this reasoning, the two resistant girls both shrugged and followed Rikku up the stairs, and towards their brother's room, where they knew Axel would be staying. The leader, normally Yuna but due to circumstances, Rikku, did a little dance to herself in anticipation of what, uh…creative creation would stew from their apology.
"How did Rikku know?" Demyx asked his best friend Xigbar on the phone, lying back on his bed with a heartfelt sigh. He had retreated to the safety of his room after his big argument with Rikku, one that admittedly carried a true assumption.
It wasn't that he was planning to steal Axel away from Roxas. It was just that he…he wanted him; in the worst way possible. And true, being a singer meant he could have just about any fan boy -yes boy, he definitely batted for his own team- he wanted. But that was just it. He didn't want any of them. He wanted someone different. And Axel…he was different.
"It's always pretty obvious when you like someone, Dem. I mean, just think about when you had a thing for the lead singer of that one group." Xigbar paused as he struggled to come up with the name of the guy he was talking about. "It's right on the tip of my tongue."
Demyx rolled his eyes. "You mean Marluxia of the Hollows?"
"That's the one! When you first had a thing for flower boy-"
"That was their big thing! Flowers were their gimmick! And-" Demyx cut in only to be cut off in return.
"Excuse me. Is your name Xigbar?" The man on the other side of the phone huffed in irritation. Demyx smiled wryly and turned on his stomach.
"No."
"Yeah, I didn't think it was either. And I could've sworn it was Xigbar talking. So yes, as I was saying, when you had a thing for Miss Flower Power 2009, everyone knew you liked him from the start, just by your reactions." Xigbar finished, feeling quite satisfied. Demyx frowned and reached over for his guitar, strumming it idly. It was what he did when he was confused, irritated, or just thoughtful.
"What do you mean? What reactions?"
"Well," Xigbar began thoughtfully, "whenever you get an instant crush on someone, you begin to stutter, you blush deeper than a red bell pepper, you spout random and cheesy pick-up lines, and you start acting all horny and sexy."
Demyx's mouth hung open and he gasped for a response. Finally, a question flew out of his mouth before he could stop it. "So have I…ever exhibited any of these symptoms towards you?"
Xigbar laughed on his side. "Ha, hell yes you have. But how could you not? I'm pretty damn sexy."
It was Demyx turn to laugh. "As if."
"Hey, you're the one who was hitting on me a year ago, but hey. Who am I to come between you and your obvious denial? And that's my catchphrase you just used, babe. Anyway, I digress. Go apologize and win that boy's heart. Just don't let Roxas get to you, otherwise your ass is maggot food." Xigbar joked, bidding him farewell in the weird way that he always had done.
"Alright, I'll talk to you later. I'll call you once I'm no longer single!"
"And just why should I help you to humiliate him? He's done nothing to cross me. Or you for that matter." Sephiroth pointed out to Cloud as the blonde snatched up his laptop from where the cold silver-haired man had been working.
Cloud snorted and wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's broad, muscled shoulders. "When has that ever stopped you?" He asked, placing a kiss to the back of the other's neck.
"When the target belongs to someone I care about." Came the answer, causing Cloud to smack the back of his head in anger.
"What about me? Don't I rank higher on the 'I care about you' list?" Cloud cried, before he was forced painfully into the wall. Cold forest green eyes glared deeply into intense ocean blue ones as Cloud wisely shut up. Finally, Sephiroth spoke.
"Cloud…when, may I ask, have I allowed anyone else to touch me? When have I let anyone else steal my food, or run their hands through my hair when they think that I'm asleep, or take pictures of me because they want to make a scrap book? When have I ever allowed anyone else to even top in bed?"
Cloud looked away and sheepishly muttered, "Never."
"That's right. Because, believe it or not Cloud, I care about you. I thought I made that evident enough at our wedding."
Cloud's face softened. "I know. I'm sorry; I guess I just go a little bit crazy whenever I see one of my siblings dating someone."
Sephiroth wasn't as soft. "I think they call that insecurity and irrational fear."
Cloud shot him an irritated look before flopping back on his old bed. "Whatever." He watched as Sephiroth gracefully lay down next to him. "So when do you have to go back to work?"
Sephiroth sighed and ran a hand through one of Cloud's sandy blonde spikes. "In three days."
Cloud sighed as well and gazed up at his old bedroom ceiling, where a big painted picture of his family and friends stared down at him.
"Then I guess we'll have to make the best of them."
Silence. And then, "Do you still want me to help you spite Axel?"
"Oh, you know it."
"So what do you think we should do to welcome Axel to our home?" Namine asked Sora quietly as they both sat in her room. Her walls were completely white, but pictures she had drawn of her favorite people and her favorite memories adorned the walls. It was simple, but Sora liked it.
"I dunno." He offered helpfully, leaning back on his arms and staring up at the ceiling fan. Namine sighed. She had no legitimate ideas either.
"Well baking is out of the question, since neither you nor I can actually bake anything other than chocolate chip cookies. On the off chance that we convince Rikku to do it for us, we'd be in her debt, and that's just a chance I'm not willing to take."
"I dunno." Sora repeated again, closing his eyes slowly. Namine pursed her lips and tapped her finger against them. There had to be something…
"Wait a minute. Didn't Riku Nioki have a cake baking business?" Namine asked Sora in a burst of sudden inspiration. Sora's whole body jerked with a start and he found himself face-down on the floor. Namine had the decency to look alarmed.
"Sora! Are you alright?"
Sora groaned and sat up, holding his forehead in pain. "Did you say Riku Nioki?"
Namine hid a smile behind her hand. "Yes, I believe that's what I said."
"I-I think he did, but I'm not sure. Maybe I should call him? Maybe?" He offered with a nonchalant shrug. Namine nodded encouragingly. "I think you should."
A blindingly happy smile lit up his face. "Alright, I will!"
Namine watched with an uncharacteristic smirk as he ran out the room.
Ho yeah, this was so going to work.
If there was one thing Axel wasn't, it was a wimp.
You know what that meant? That meant that he could handle this. He could handle the brats, the overprotective psycho lovers, and the other insane, crazy, anti-Roxas relatives that lived (or in some cases- were just visiting) in that house.
Why? Because of the amazing prize: Roxas' hand in marriage. So he was going to do whatever it took to have that. It meant the world to him. And he wasn't going to give it up for anything. To have Roxas by his side…forever…would fill the missing puzzle piece in his heart. It would complete him as a person. It would make him so blistering happy.
So if Roxas wanted him to sit here on their fluffy off white couch and have a painfully nerve-wrecking conversation about what he did for a living, then fine, he would endure.
For love endured all!
At least…that's what they said.
And no, Axel didn't know who 'they' were, who the hell cares?
Now
1:45 P.M.
"So, Axel…oh, I just love saying your name!" Hannah Haiku giggled, leaning over and rubbing Axel's leg for the hundredth time. Okaaaaay…well, he couldn't really decide whether or not she was hitting on him, or just being encouraging, but he was leaning on the first. He wasn't conceded or anything-
"What do you do for a living?"
-it was just that, well, it was weird! He already had this strange feeling that Demyx had been hitting on him earlier, but he always tried to convince himself that when people were hitting on him, they were just being nice. Well, except for guys he was interested in. Yep, guys he was interested in, he went the extra mile for. For example:
Roxas (shy and nervous around hot guys): "Uh…hi. I'm…I-I'm Roxas, and I…I was wondering, well, hoping that uh, maybe you'd want…you'd want to go out with me…maybe? Sometime?"
Axel (clever and pretending to be dense): "Sure, cutie, I'll walk out with you! Don't be embarrassed, you have no idea how many sexy blondes have asked me that exact question. I mean, man oh man, I never would've thought people would be so paranoid about walking outside of a store alone!
Roxas (no longer shy after hearing the stupidity): "…you're lucky you're so damn sexy. Anyway, look. I'm asking you on a fucking date. You interested in me or not?"
Axel sighed dreamily. Roxas was so perfect. And thinking back, he was so damn smart for coming up with an idea like that. The first time he saw Roxas stammering and realized he was interested in him, he knew he had to be slick.
"Axel! My mom is talking to you. Wake the hell up!" Roxas suddenly snapped, and he blinked. Oops? So sometimes he liked to daydream! Sue him! Sure, it was mostly about Roxas but, still. It wasn't really distraction as it was…intense Roxas-itis. Anyway, Hannah glared disapprovingly at Roxas.
"Don't talk to your boyfriend that way." Then she turned to Axel again with a smile. "I was just asking what you did for a living."
Axel laughed nervously. Did it really fucking matter? He was getting his money, right? He glanced over at Roxas, who was squirming uncomfortably on the loveseat, not listening at all. Ugh…damn him.
He placed his attention back on his mom. "Uh…well, err…I guess you could say I'm a businessman?" He tried catching Roxas' eye again, but he was still shuffling on the seat, crossing his legs and then uncrossing them and back again. Huh, that was weird. It almost looked like he had a…
Axel swallowed thickly and suddenly it felt too hot in the room.
"Sweetheart, are you okay?" Hannah asked Roxas in concern, patting his leg. The blonde shot out of the chair as if he had been burned. Heh, guess the horny young blonde didn't want his mother to touch him in this state.
He licked his lips. That was okay, he would gladly do it for her.
Then he mentally slapped himself. Wait…he couldn't have sex with Roxas. That would be the ultimate act of disrespect to the Haiku's. Think about it; if he had a house, would he really want…say, Rikku to have sex in it with her little boyfriend? Hell to the no!
"I'm fine, I just need some water." Roxas said pointedly, gazing at Axel intently. He pretended as if he didn't see it. Maybe if he acted like he wasn't watching, Roxas wouldn't try and jump him. Because, really, his stamina wasn't all that great; he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to hold out with Roxas all alone and horny.
Finally Roxas sighed and grumbled as he went the opposite direction to the bathroom. Hannah watched him go in confusion before giving Axel a sheepish giggle. "He's going to the bathroom, not the kitchen. He must have forgotten the bathroom was over there."
Oh, he hadn't forgotten, Axel knew. He knew exactly what Roxas was going in the bathroom to do.
"So Mrs. Haiku," He began sharply, to stop himself from going in the bathroom to help Roxas, "where's Mr. Haiku?"
Hannah gave him a trilling laugh. "Oh, he's probably still at his hunting class."
Axel froze. Hunting?
Damn it, he hated parents! He already had a crazy feeling that Roxas' dad absolutely, positively would not like him at all. Parents just never did. Maybe it was the hair.
Or the pyromania.
"And afterwards he's heading over to his tracking lessons, aim class, and I'm pretty sure he's going to sharpen his sword out back before going inside for dinner when he gets home!" She continued, crossing her legs gracefully as if they were discussing Thoreau versus Paine.
Axel stared at her in horror before Namine came wandering into the room, holding a camera in her hands. She gave him a shy smile.
"Hi Axel….can I take your picture?" She ventured, biting her lip in half-nervousness, half-friendliness. Axel softened. This girl was going to make him change from Muhammad Ali to Jigglypuff. Who could deny this girl of anything?!
"Of course. Do you want me to pose or something?" He asked, but without waiting for an answer he kicked both of his legs off the side of the couch he was sitting on and laid out, giving her an exaggeratedly sexy look. Both Namine and her mother giggled.
"No, I actually just need you to give me a smile or expression that represents you." She explained softly, still smiling. "Just…be yourself."
He raised an eyebrow. Be himself…? How did one act like themselves? He had no freaking clue how to be himself when he was trying to be himself. Or something. Did that even make sense?
"Why don't you just take one of me when I'm not paying attention?" He offered, settling back into the cushions. "That way I'm not struggling to pretend to be sexy and charming."
Roxas suddenly came stomping in the room, looking equally pissed and equally embarrassed as he shoved Axel's legs off the arm of the couch and plopped down next to him. He gave the redhead a pointed glare, one that had him looking away in guilt. Hey, it wasn't his fault that he couldn't control his sexual urges!
"So what were we planning for today? Better yet, we aren't doing anything for tonight, are we?" Roxas demanded, sending another pointed look in his direction. "Axel might be busy."
Hannah laughed merrily. "We're going to have family dinner, of course!"
Both Namine and Roxas froze, and that's when a terrible, terrible, monstrous feeling settled in the depths of Axel's heart. This was going to be a long day.
If he made it out alive, that is.
"So where's Cloud? I haven't seen him around since this morning." Roxas asked, accepting Axel's arm around him as an apology of what he just had to do…alone…and in a small, cramped bathroom, no less. Hannah shrugged.
"Beats me. Maybe he's working on his apology for Axel." She offered thoughtfully. Both Axel and Roxas gave her questioning looks, and she giggled. "I may have ordered them to all say that they were sorry to Axel."
Roxas groaned and slapped his forehead with his hand. "Aw mom, none of them ever say sorry!"
Was that true? Axel groaned as well. Then that meant that their apologies would be anything but. He could just imagine what they were all planning to do…
Cloud and Sephiroth held up Axel's body with the tip of their swords. Blood gushed from the open, unearthly wounds that were scattered all over his body, and he groaned in uttermost physical, and mental, pain. Rikku and her friends merely giggled.
"We're sorry!" All of Roxas' siblings chanted as they all began to roast him over a fire. Namine was taking pictures of his torture with a little smile, while Sora danced eccentrically around the pit of death.
As the fire began to eat at his skin, he let out one shaky, fearful cry.
"Roxas!"
Axel popped out from his imaginative image. That could definitely happen! Well…not really…but still! That was obviously a metaphor…or a vision from the future…that things here would not end well! He needed to get out of here while he still-
"I love you, Axel." Roxas whispered in his ear, and that's when he noticed that not only were Hannah and Namine no longer in the room, but his lover had somehow managed to climb on top of him when he wasn't paying attention!
The feel of Roxas' hot breath in his ear while admitting his love for him brought him harder than he had ever been with anyone else at any time of his life. Oh god, if only he knew just how badly he wanted him right now. He hadn't touched Roxas in three months…not in the way he wanted to. The way he needed to.
Axel kissed the back of his ear, eliciting a small giggle. He was ticklish there. "I love you too, Roxas."
"How much?" The blonde demanded cutely, sitting back on his lap and folding his arms. Briefly, Axel noted in awe that Roxas' strength was so great that he could remain balanced just using his thighs. Damn, that was sexy, but it wasn't enough…
"Enough to know that we aren't having sex." He answered, and Roxas groaned and hopped off of him. Please, did Rox think that he was stupid? The redhead knew Roxas, and he definitely could see that coming.
"Can't we at least talk about this like consensual, horny adults?" The blonde pleaded, and Axel shook his head. Nope; Roxas was persuasive as hell. Besides, it wasn't like he didn't want to have sex, so it was kind of obvious who would win that discussion.
"No." He replied with authority, and that was the end of that. Roxas sighed excessively and threw his body over Axel's legs so he was looking up at him. He scowled, and Axel smiled. He missed that look.
"When did you get so bossy?" He wanted to know, peering up at him in suspicion. "Nothing happened while you were gone, right?"
Axel frowned. "Of course not. I'm in love with you."
At that proclamation, Roxas pulled his head down by his shirt and kissed him.
Kissing Roxas was always a different experience for Axel with each kiss. Each touch of their lips was new to him, and even more exciting than the last. He smiled slightly into the gentle mesh of their lips. Roxas was being cautious; timid. He wasn't sure if his feelings had changed. Smirking, Axel pulled away.
Roxas opened his eyes in surprise, but upon staring up at Axel, lowered them. "You didn't…you didn't like it, did you? I'm sorry, I-"
Axel pulled Roxas to his feet, and in one fluid motion dipped him backwards. The look he gave Roxas was intense; passionate. "Of course I liked it, Roxy baby."
And with that, he gave Roxas a smoldering, fire-filled kiss.
"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!" Someone suddenly shouted, and Axel accidently dropped Roxas in his startled jump. A quiet, masculine voice laughed, accompanied by a deep chuckle before the voices faded down the stairs and out the door.
Roxas growled as he pulled himself up and gave Axel a dirty look. "Gee, thanks for that."
"Ah, sorry, something startled me. My fault." He apologized, pulling Roxas back into his arms. "Let's start over."
Hannah's voice unexpectedly called for him in the other room. "I have more questions!"
Seriously? What more could this women possible want to know?! He wasn't that spectacular…
"You'd better go." Roxas hinted, pushing him slightly into the kitchen. "She doesn't like it when people don't give her immediate attention when she asks for it."
Axel sighed, gave him one last little kiss, and went into the kitchen.
3:45 P.M.
Roxas was watching Axel like a lion on steroids watching a gazelle.
If there was one thing he knew about himself, it was that he loved sex. It was just an accepted part of him. Sex, to him, was like what a canvas was to an artist, or what a piece of paper was to a writer. Sex was where he could be himself; where he could channel his creativity and just release it.
So the fact that Axel, his canvas, or, sometimes, for lack of a better word, his bitch, didn't want to have sex while they were here, was making him very, very…well, pissed off.
He hadn't had sex in three long, long, masturbation-filled months, and ever since Axel proposed, he'd wanted to show his undying love and well, lust, for the man. But Mr. High And Mighty didn't want to "disrespect" his parents. Which, okay, admittedly made sense. But when you were as pent-up as Roxas was, trivial things like respect didn't matter.
And he wasn't one of those jerks who took his irritation out on his family. But he wasn't one of those good, innocent little children who kept their feelings bottled up inside either.
Exhibit A:
Sora: Hey Rox, do you want a piece of cake?
Roxas: What flavor is it?
Sora: Uh, I think it's….
Roxas: Does it taste like Axel?
Sora: Um…no…?
Roxas: Then no Sora, I don't want a fucking piece of cake.
So as indicated, he didn't really take his anger out on other people. Much. He just didn't like to hide his feelings. Besides that, he never got to spend any time with Axel now. The man had been sleeping the whole time he'd been here!
He also hadn't even really had a chance to see Sora -other than the previous conversation, but that was just him passing by- or Namine either since the introductions. After his mom got home, the infamous Hannah Haiku, and laid down the law with all of his siblings, they'd been individually locked up in their rooms, trying to figure out some way to "apologize" to Axel. Roxas snorted. Ha…as if Cloud, Rikku and Demyx had ever apologized in their lives.
"Earth to Roxas!"
Suddenly Roxas was brought out of his thoughts and back to reality by a hand waving itself back and forth in his face and an arrogantly loud voice calling out his name. Ugh, he knew who it was. And what was he doing here anyway?!
"Riku," Roxas scowled, raising his eyes up to aquamarine ones, "what are you doing here?"
Riku laughed and pulled his hand back, instead using it to give him a cheesy bow.
"I come where beckoned, my lord." Riku announced with a fake English accent. Despite himself, Roxas cracked a small smile before quickly chasing it with a frown.
"And who, may I ask, beckoned you?" Roxas demanded, placing his hands on his hips and giving him a stern look. Having Riku here normally wouldn't faze him all that much. There weren't really any bad feelings left between them since when they broke up, the feeling was mutual. But now that he was engaged, secretly, to Axel, things were different. Roxas had only talked about Riku briefly, but that was during his asshole phase, so they weren't…kind things.
Riku leaned down and grinned, popping Roxas' on the nose with his index finger. "That cute little twin of yours." He straightened back up again, ignoring the way Roxas was simmering in annoyance. "Where is he, by the way? I haven't seen him in person since your Halloween party last month."
Roxas' cheeks reddened at the mention of the party, and Riku, the annoyingly perfect asshole that he was, noticed.
"You remember the party, right?" Riku asked casually, slinging an arm around Roxas' shoulders and squeezing him closer to him companionably. He made his voice lower. "You know, the one where we made out in the closet for fifteen minutes?"
"What?"
Roxas and Riku both jerked away as Axel came into view, looking more than a little pissed off at seeing Riku touching his Roxas. Riku's grin faded, and Roxas coughed, struggling to fight down his blush and trying to casually smooth down his clothes. Great. This was just what he needed…Axel catching him swooning over Riku's perfection.
"Oh, hi! You must be, uh, Axel? Mighty fine catch you got here." Riku chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head awkwardly and taking yet another step away from Roxas. Axel narrowed his eyes at this…this…admittedly godly man.
"Who the hell are you?" Axel demanded, taking a threatening step towards Riku and cracking his knuckles. Roxas laughed nervously and rushed over to his secret fiancé, placing his hand gently over Axel's clenched one.
"Axel, this is Riku, my ex-boyfriend. Riku, this is my boyfriend, Axel." Roxas introduced, his eyes darting between Riku and Axel. They finally landed on Axel while his hand tenderly rubbed against his fist. "Sora invited him, apparently. Isn't that just the weirdest thing?"
The red head merely grunted in response. Roxas chewed on his lip out of sheer habit. He really hoped Axel wouldn't be pissed at him for this, because he really needed a good fuck, and soon. He scowled. Why the hell did Sora invite Riku anyway? Sure, so he knew that Sora had a crush on Riku, who didn't? But Sora had never been bold enough to make a move on him, so what caused the change now?
He shook his head. Something was going on with that twin of his…with all his siblings actually. He really hadn't even spoken to any of them since the initial introduction disaster…and he knew that Axel would probably agree that that's what it was. Because of the deer-in-the-headlights look that he had been sporting, Roxas hadn't had the heart to tell Axel that there were two more siblings he had to meet, a cousin, and his father.
"Weeeeell, I better go find Sora now. He's expecting me. I'm actually late…" Riku tossed Roxas a sheepish smile at the unsurprised expression on his face, "It's not my fault this time! I had an unexpected cake request for a funeral!"
Roxas took this as a chance to sneak away. "Right, Riku. Because people really want to eat your sickly sweet strawberry cakes at a funeral." He called over his shoulder, casually slipping from Axel's line of sight. He'd give him a while to cool off before forcing him face first against the wall. He liked taking Axel when he was completely focused.
"Yes, in fact they do! I plan to have cake at my funeral!" Riku yelled back, but Roxas had already turned around the corner. That left him alone with Axel, who was now leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, giving Riku a speculative once-over.
He fidgeted slightly under his unashamed gaze. Nervously, he tried to make a joke out of it. "You know, when Roxas and I were together, I was pretty, um, possessive over him too. I used to have to tell his ex-boyfriends to leave him alone."
Axel smirked and pushed himself off the wall. He started up the stairs to Roxas' room before stopping and turning to raise an eyebrow at Riku.
"That's the difference between you and me. Because I'm not telling you…cake boy." And with that, Axel left Riku alone to contemplate that little statement in his mind. Riku sighed. Great. Sora just had to invite him at the same time Roxas was introducing his new boyfriend. He growled. He'd just have to punish Sora. And he knew exactly how…
3:50 P.M.
Axel entered Roxas' room, the room he'd be staying in while Roxas' slept with Sora, and plopped down on the bed with a sigh. He'd been asleep ever since the initial introductions with everyone, and just about five hours later he was still tired.
It wasn't really his fault he hadn't been sleeping well, though! It was just about impossible for him to sleep without Roxas next to him, and for the last three months that's just what had been happening. But that was alright, because at least now the blonde was in his proximity.
Yawning, he stretched his arms over his head, perfectly content to fall asleep again, when cold metal hit his wrist, and a clack! was heard. His eyes widened as they landed on his hands and his jaw dropped in disbelief. He was fucking handcuffed to the bed!
"Smile for the camera!" A shrill, bubbly voice giggled, and his eyes shot forward only to land on Rikku, Roxas' fucking kid sister. What the hell...?!
Axel growled. He never had been good with kids. How old was she anyway? Twelve?
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded, flailing his arms to no prevail against the headboard in some kind of attempt to free himself. Paine, Rikku and Yuna all shared amused looks.
Rikku pouted at him. "Such bad language! And here we are just trying to apologize to you!"
Axel mockingly laughed before fixing her in particular with a scowl so fierce, she knew it had to have rubbed off from Roxas. "I don't give a flying fuck what you're trying to do. I've only had about five hours of sleep in three months, you guys grabbed my ass, I had a freaking sword shoved in my face, and now…all I want to do, is rest my eyes a little bit, you know, recharge my batteries. I want to look my best for your father."
Yuna made a sympathetic sound and went over to sit by Axel's side. "Oh, you poor thing. It can't be easy meeting all of these blonde, blue/green-eyed freaks at once."
Rikku glared at her, but a wryly smile was on her face. "Gee, thanks Yuna." And surprisingly, against all reason, Axel began to laugh. The three girls all looked at each other in confusion before hesitantly joining in, not wanting to get in even more trouble than they knew they would be.
"Ahh," Axel sighed as he wiped his eyes. Time to play the reasonable card. He gave them a tense little smile. "Alright, now, how about it? How about letting me go?"
Rikku shook her head. "No can do, Clifford. If we don't apologize to you, Mom will have our necks and cook us for dinner."
"You think she's joking, but she's not. Last Tuesday she got very close to being served to us for dinner." Paine piped in, causing Yuna to giggle a little at the truth of it all.
Axel sighed and pointedly struggled against his binds. "Um, yeah, that's nice. Can we focus here, please? Why am I tied up for you to apologize? What, you don't think I'll listen to it, or something?"
"No, silly. This is us apologizing." Rikku explained happily, crawling up from the edge of the bed to straddle Axel's hips. "See, what happens is, Yuna's going to pose you and get you in the mood, and we're going to take pictures. Once Paine does some Photoshop magic on them, we're going to use them in a sex book as a gift to Roxas. And…heh, we all know how Roxas is when he gets horny. Which, finally, ends up as a gift to you!"
Axel was speechless. First of all, he didn't want some freaking ten year old whispering dirty things in his ear. It made him sound, and feel, like a dirty old pedophile! And he'd heard enough of those comments to make him sick of the word. Second of all, he didn't like the thought of pictures being taken of him. Who knew where those would end up?!
And third of all…it was creepy for Rikku to have such an active interest in Roxas' sex life.
Really, really creepy.
"Alright Yuna, time to begin!" Rikku announced, breaking him out of his panic. Oh no…no, no, no…this wasn't happening to him. These fucking brats were going to make the whole world see him as some straight pedo leech!
"Wait, we're seriously doing this?!" Yuna cried out, suddenly afraid. "I mean…is this considered, like…sexual assault?"
"Yes." Axel answered quickly, smelling her fear. Yes, that's it, feel guilty, feel bad. "And I would hate to have to call the police on you three after you do your sexual bidding."
Truth was, he wouldn't really call the cops on his fiancé's siblings, because Roxas' family was his family. But if this was a way for him to escape…it couldn't hurt to inflict some irrational fear, right?
Rikku paused slightly. "Wait, what?"
Axel sighed helplessly and flopped down. He rolled his head dramatically. "I'll have to tell them that I was handcuffed to the bed roughly. They even-" He sobbed, "-wanted to kiss me! Can you imagine the cooties, officer?"
"Kiss you where?" Rikku asked with authority, her good nature combined with her fear making her play along.
"Where do you think, officer?" Axel wailed to the imaginary police officer, and then suddenly turned to her. "Go ahead. Take me." He whimpered.
"Maybe this isn't a good idea after all." Rikku announced, glaring at Yuna. "Yunie, why didn't you stop me?!"
Yuna gaped while Paine rolled her eyes and silently went about unlocking Axel from the bed. Axel hid a smirk. That's right, do as you're told.
As the last lock unlocked, Axel grinned. These girls, while with good potential, did not meet up to his standards of deviousness. Ha, he invented the handcuff-to-the-bed bit! They didn't know who they were dealing with, and it was high time for the children to get out of the game.
"You aren't going to tell on us, are you?" Rikku demanded as she turned off her camera. With the three girls watching him warily, he considered. Well, that might get him extra brownie points with Hannah but…Axel was no snitch. Besides…he kinda liked the brats.
Well, like was a strong word.
"Nah. Just get outta here. I'll tell Roxas that I bought the handcuffs for him." Axel agreed, wincing as he said the words. Ugh, Rox was so horny right now that he would probably handcuff him himself.
"Thanks, Axel. And I promise that we really were just trying to apologize." Rikku explained innocently, all three pairs of eyes widening at him. Axel melted slightly. Damn, looks like Roxas taught them well.
"Yeah, and to try and stir up trouble." He mumbled, but he gave them a smirk. "Now go, so I can take another quick nap before Hannah makes dinner."
Sighing in relief and giggling, the three girls quickly left the room. He sighed loudly. Jeez, that was a nuisance. But whatever. It was over now, and it was time to get a little R and R before another freak demanded his attention.
4:15 P.M.
Axel must have only been asleep for about half an hour or so when he received a soft knock on his door. Thinking it was Roxas- or maybe just hoping- he groggily mumbled, "Come in."
He expected Rikku and her posse again, or Roxas, or even Sora and Namine, but who he didn't expect to see was Demyx, Roxas' brother and only Axel's favorite singer.
"Uh, hey." He started, frantically rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and straightening his hair with his hands. "What's up?"
Demyx, looking pretty hot in a slim pair of dark wash jeans and a tight blue-green shirt, cocked his head to the side and smiled sheepishly. "Oh, I just wanted to apologize for this morning."
Axel looked away from his sexy idol and propped two pillows back on the bed. "Apologize?"
Demyx took a couple of steps into the room and sighed. "Yeah. It was completely out of line for me to think that kind of stuff. It's just so hard not to when you're in the room."
Now he straightened the comforter. "What kind of stuff? What do you mean?"
Demyx scowled when Axel didn't look at him. How was he going to win him over if he didn't even look him in the eyes? "Well, it's impossible to think of anything besides how sexy you are when you're in proximity."
Axel froze from where he was still turned away from Demyx. Ah, crap. He scrunched his eyes shut. He knew he was hitting on him earlier. Damn…what should he do? Any wrong move and Roxas might think he's interested in him or something.
"Uh, thanks, but I, um, I better go check on Roxas." He said slowly, giving him a pointed look. "You know, my boyfriend and your brother."
Demyx paused, a little caught off guard, but quickly regained himself. "Of course. But hey, you have to let me make it up to you sometime."
At Axel's hesitant expression, he added, "I'll tell you what, I will take you to this club I know to see one of my performances tomorrow night. That way, you're not tied down to me, I don't have to keep up with you, and everyone goes home happy."
Axel mulled it over as the offer's internal countdown chimed in his head.
Five…
It seemed perfectly logical; there was no way Roxas would be upset about something like that.
Four…
Besides, it wasn't a date. But then again…Roxas was pretty possessive…
Three…
It'd be fine. He wouldn't want to shun an apology. And he did love Demyx's music.
Two…
Was there a downside to this?
One…
"Alright, sounds great." Axel agreed, giving Demyx a quick grin before walking out the door. He poked his head back inside. "And this isn't a date, right?"
Demyx scoffed exaggeratedly. "Of course not! Now go check on Roxas."
Axel smirked and bounced out of the room. Demyx watched him go with his own smirk. See, this was perfectly normal. Just two guys going to a club together, while one listens to the poignant, emotional lyrics of the other; ha, he doubted Axel would even know what was about to hit him.
4:25 P.M.
Sora shifted from one foot to the other, before scuffing his toe on the kitchen floor. He paced back and forth, up and down, and eventually resolved to just sit on the counter. Not a second later he jumped down and resumed his foot switching.
"Sora, what are you…are you bored?" Riku finally demanded incredulously, the pacing and foot shifting growing his own patience thin. Sora stopped walking and looked over at Riku, who was calmly sitting at the kitchen table, mixing some frosting, in amazement. Of course he was bored! Who wouldn't be bored, just waiting and waiting and waiting…?
"How do you do that? You're just sitting there, all perfect and composed! Doesn't the waiting bother you?" He cried out, letting his whole body slump against the back of Riku's chair. "Who designed this torture device?!"
Riku snorted. "Torture device? Sora, it's called preheating. You have to warm up the oven before you-"
"Well I'm not a pretending to be preoccupied in all of this…premeditating!" He retorted, grinning to himself in triumph. There, the genius could take that and suck it!
Riku rolled his eyes. "That didn't even make sense."
Sora stuck his tongue out at him. "A burn is still a burn, no matter what you call it."
"Sure…hey, come here and take a look at this cake design. I want to be sure I'm making the right one for you." He said, grabbing Sora's wrist and pulling him down into his lap. The brunette blushed deeply. Oh god, oh god, he was sitting on Riku's lap! Which was the closest he was ever going to get to touching his-
"Hey, did you hear me?" Riku's voice suddenly asked sharply, breaking into his thoughts. Sora frowned at his tone. Ugh, who was he kidding? Riku, the super smart genius and expert cake maker that he was, probably thought he was the stupidest guy on the planet.
"Huh?" He asked intelligently, smacking himself in his mind. This wasn't helping!
"I asked," Riku sighed, shaking his head at him, "if you prefer the orange cake, or the chocolate cake with velvet cake swirls."
Sora shrugged. He didn't care all of that much; part of him had just wanted Riku to come over. "Well, he looks like fire, I guess, so the orange one."
As Riku scribbled some notes down in his journal, Sora thought of the redhead who had come to visit. Well, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that he was sexy- flaming red hair, smoldering green eyes- but there had to be more than that for him to be worthy of Roxas. It wasn't that he didn't trust his brother's judgment or anything; he just worried that he was settling too soon for too little.
Sora grinned. He made it seem like Axel and Roxas were engaged!
"What are you smiling at? We have work to do!" Riku demanded, pretending to be stern as he stood up, inevitably sending Sora tumbling to the ground. The brunette frowned up at him.
"Why are you so mean to me?!' He whined, picking himself- and his pride- off of the ground and dusting himself off. He followed Riku to the refrigerator like a lost puppy.
"I'm only mean to you because I like you." Riku answered unconcernedly, taking out the ingredients from the fridge. "If I didn't care for you, I would probably just ignore you completely."
"So it's either be bullied or be ignored?!" Sora exclaimed incredulously, but something inside of him clapped happily at Riku's words. So he did like him! He even said that he cared for him! This was way better than any stupid orange cake!
4:30 P.M.
Roxas and Namine watched Sora and Riku flirt with little grins on their faces. It was about time their little brother got in touch with his flirtatious side! Roxas snorted and nudged Namine from their position behind the door into the kitchen.
"Did you have something to do with this, my sweet and innocent little sister?" He demanded playfully, grabbing her hand and pulling her onto the couch with him. "Are you going back into the matchmaking business?"
Namine smiled sweetly. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Her brother rolled his eyes. "Yeah right! This has your work all over it!"
"Well…if the shoe fits…"
Suddenly the door opened, and Roxas' Dad, Sam Haiku, strolled in, being tailed by a sulking brunette with an even angrier blonde on his arm. Roxas stood up quickly and fixed his clothes as his dad glared seriously at him.
"Roxas."
Roxas shuffled his feet. "Dad."
A tense moment passed with everyone in the room before Roxas and his dad both gravitated quickly towards each other. Roxas threw his arms around his dad, and he caught him with a laugh, swirling him around happily. Tears seemed to pool in the older man's eyes.
"You're finally home." He laughed, squeezing him tighter to his chest. "My boy is finally home!"
Roxas felt the air whoosh out of his lungs. "Alright dad…can't…breathe…" His father was just too strong for his own good.
"Ah, sorry." His dad mumbled as he set him back down. "So what's been going on with you? How have you been?"
Roxas opened his mouth to answer when his dad thrust his two accompanying guests into his face. The blonde sighed. Oh great, look who it was this time…
"Hey Roxas. Seen Cloud around?" Leon asked miserably, ignoring Mr. Haiku's wide, goofy and oblivious smile. "After I finished working on your dad's sword, he insisted on bringing me here. Really. He insisted."
"Uh no, I haven't seen Cloud since this morning. But…uh, good to see you." Roxas grinned devilishly, loving the way his smile made Leon frown even deeper. Then he glanced at the blonde practically hanging on his arm. "You too, Seifer."
Seifer winked at him. "Anything for you, kid."
Roxas shuffled his feet and raised an eyebrow as he looked away. This wasn't awkward at all. His dad dragging in Cloud's ex boyfriend and ex best friend who was dating Roxas' ex boyfriend, who was now hitting on him. Not awkward at all.
But just to make things even more pleasant, Axel bounced around the corner, seeing Roxas and breaking out into a wide, sexy smirk. Roxas almost came, seriously, in front of his dad and all of those guests. He was that horny, and Axel was just that sexy.
But he must have lit up brighter than he intended, because his dad suddenly glared suspiciously at Axel. "Who are you?"
Axel's face fell. The time had come for him to be neutered and eaten raw. "I'm Axel, Roxas' fia-"
"Boyfriend!" Roxas interrupted loudly, cutting Axel a harsh side glare before smiling pleasantly back at his father. "Dad, this is Axel, my boyfriend. Axel, this is my dad, Elliot Haiku."
Mr. Haiku's good nature had somehow seemed to vanish when they weren't looking. He pinned Axel with a stern, dangerous look, a look Axel had pretty much come to expect. Who was he kidding? There just wasn't a father alive that would like him, no matter how desperately he wanted them to. And this wasn't any old dad, either. This was the man who had given birth to his soul mate.
Well, metaphorically.
To put it simply, Elliot Haiku was a man that mattered to Roxas. And anyone who mattered to Roxas mattered to him. He had to put his best foot forward, and try to convince this man to allow Roxas to belong to him.
"It's nice to meet you, Axel." Mr. Haiku declared gutturally, his voice dropping a couple of octaves with authority. For a second there, as Axel took his hand to shake it, he had a feeling that maybe…just maybe…things would work out all right. That maybe Elliot Haiku would accept him with no qualms. But the second his glance went to his flaming red hair, he knew his chance was shot before he said another word.
"The hell is wrong with your hair?" He demanded, and Seifer burst out laughing. Even Leon smiled a little behind his scowl. Roxas rolled his eyes and slid his hand into Axel's. Lord knows his boyfriend was going to need that little bit of comfort around his family.
"Dad..." Roxas warned, his eyes narrowing at him pointedly. But Elliot just shrugged and motioned for them to all follow him into the living room. "Let's go in here and wait until dinner is ready."
As Axel slowly followed the men into the living room, he noticed Rikku, Yuna and Paine setting the table while Hannah and Namine gave the finishing touches to the dinner. Instead of suffering with Roxas' dad, he should be in there, helping them with dinner! At least it looked safe in there!
"Um, maybe I should go see if Hannah needs any help…" Axel trailed off hopefully, giving Roxas a desperate look. His blonde beauty simply ignored him and pulled him down next to him on the couch. Axel sighed. He knew what that silence meant. It meant no.
"Why do you want to go in there? It's just the women doing what they're meant to be doing." Mr. Haiku snorted while Roxas slapped his forehead. Axel's eyebrows shot way up. Holy shit, was Elliot one of those traditional old farts who thought that women were only good for sex and cooking?!
Damn, Roxas' family was more twisted than he thought!
"You mean they're only meant to be in the kitchen?" Axel asked slowly. He didn't want to make any rash judgments before he could clarify what he meant.
Elliot Haiku sent him the coldest glare he had ever seen; a glare that chilled him to his very core. "No, I meant that women are meant to enjoy every aspect of life, including making wonderful masterpieces, because everything a woman touches is beautiful. What the hell did you mean, saying that women are only meant to be in the kitchen? Is that what you think Roxas should be doing? Spending all his time slaving over a hot stove cooking all of your damn meals-"
"So dad, Axel actually cooks for me. I can't cook to save my life, as we all know." Roxas interjected, laughing obnoxiously in his nervousness. "Right, Axel?" He added, trying to soothe the angry beast that was arising next to him. Axel looked pissed that Elliot had implied all of those things, and Roxas wouldn't be able to stand a fight between his father and his fiancé.
"I think anything you make is special, even if it doesn't always taste that good." Axel muttered, annoyed, but unable to do or say anything that would hurt Roxas in the long run, like offending his father. But Elliot Haiku had better fucking watch what he said to him. He had begun to tread dangerously close to the edge there, a second ago.
Roxas sighed disappointedly and let his head flop onto the back of the couch. What a disappointment this day had been! No one seemed to like Axel except for Sora and Namine, but he suspected they only liked him due to his looks! What the hell was wrong with his family? Why couldn't they see the sexy, brilliant man that he had fallen in love with?
The front door suddenly opened, and Cloud and Sephiroth walked in, looking suspiciously pleased with themselves. Well, at least until they both noticed Leon and Seifer sitting on their living room couch.
"Leon! What are you doing here?" Cloud gasped, his voice colored with surprise and badly concealed pleasure. Sephiroth said nothing, but merely cut a cool glare to the brunette residing on the living room couch.
"Leaving." Leon groaned in embarrassment, standing up despite the protests of Mr. Haiku, quickly being followed by Seifer. Cloud blinked in astonishment before stopping him with a shy little grin and a head tilt. The brunette seemed to freeze at the look.
"I missed you, Leon." He admitted, and Roxas threw up his arms. Axel glanced back at his lover. What the hell was going on? Not that he minded. This was providing great entertainment until dinner; quite frankly, anything that didn't involve him being rudely interrogated was okay in his book.
"He's doing it again." Roxas mumbled, and Axel nudged him. "Doing what?"
"Unconsciously stringing Leon along; how is the man supposed to move on when Cloud is giving him meaningful looks and lighting up whenever he's in the room?" Roxas whispered, frustrated. "If you ask me, he needs to stay with the man he married."
"When we get married," Axel breathed into the blonde's ear, making him blush, "you won't have time to get excited for anyone else but me."
"Uh, thanks? What am I supposed to say to something like that?" Roxas hissed back, pushing him away from him. Axel mock pouted. Roxas needed to shut up and let him be the only one to love him. Where he was concerned, there was no such thing as a love triangle. It had to be him all the way.
So it was selfish. Love's selfish. But who cares? It was Axel.
"I, uh…missed you too, obviously." Leon replied gruffly, avoiding the murderous look Seifer was shooting him for admitting such a thing. But Sephiroth's look was much more vicious, considering he was practically glaring into his soul with those calculating and disbelieving eyes; disbelieving that he actually still cared for his husband.
"We didn't get a chance to talk after the wedding." Cloud said softly, taking a step towards him, but Sephiroth moved swiftly in front of him, pushing him back roughly, but not rough enough to actually hurt him. Cloud made a move to protest, but one sharp glance from his husband was enough to silence him.
"Yes, typically contact is difficult during a honeymoon." Sephiroth snapped, and Cloud scowled at him, despite a blush forming on his face. "And quite frankly, I simply cannot find it in my power to allow my newlywed to speak to the man who attempted to ruin our wedding."
Leon growled at him and his hand rested on the handle of his gun blade dangerously, but just when things were about to get good (well, in Axel's mind), Hannah quickly rushed into the room, the entire situation diffusing instantly at the presence of a female.
"Dinnertime!" She announced, smiling as if she didn't notice the impending fight or the thick tension in the room. "Time to learn all about Axel!"
Axel's mood, which has been becoming considerably better with each comment made between Sephiroth and Leon, deflated so quickly, it alarmed Roxas next to him.
Would this day ever be over?!
6: 00 P.M.
Axel glanced down at his watch. Time of death, six o' clock. Just by the way everyone was staring at him from where he was sitting next to Roxas let him know that these were his last moments of life.
"Oh stop." Roxas muttered, rolling his eyes. "You're being too dramatic. No one's even looking at you."
Really? He glanced around the table hopefully. Mr. Haiku was glaring at him, Mrs. Haiku was beaming widely, Rikku and her crew were giving him mischievous smirks, Cloud was taking out his frustration by sneering at him, as was Leon and Sephiroth, Seifer was flicking pieces of his napkin at him, and Demyx was giving him these sexy, pouty looks! The only ones who weren't staring at him were Sora and Riku, who were too busy flirting with each other, and Namine who wouldn't look anyone in the eye, let alone him.
Axel sighed. He missed the days where he was with Roxas, just the two of the alone, when his life didn't consist of having to spend three months on business or being eaten by the Haiku's.
"So Axel," Mrs. Haiku began, smiling pleasantly down the table at him, "won't you do us the honor of saying grace?"
Roxas snorted. "Axel's an atheist."
Suddenly what seemed like a thousand pairs of eyes descended upon him, all glaring at him in distaste. Damn Roxas.
"So what do you think happens when you kick it?" Rikku asked him bluntly, and Mrs. Haiku quickly hissed, "Rikku!"
"Well," Axel began loudly, scowling at Roxas, who teasingly blew him a kiss, "I wouldn't really call what I believe in atheism, despite what Roxas likes to believe."
"What do you believe in, then? You think we become trees when we die?" Seifer demanded incredulously, and Leon gave him a warning growl before looking at Axel in what one could assume was acceptance, but Axel knew to be indifference. "Don't mind him. Ignorance is his strong suit."
"Yeah, I picked up on that." Axel replied smoothly, smirking slightly at Seifer's indignant snarl. "Anyway, this can't possibly be good talk when the food remains ungraced!"
"Amen to that!" Demyx agreed enthusiastically, giving Axel a thumbs up that somehow morphed into a naughty symbol. Axel coughed, looking away while Roxas slammed his fork and knife on the table forcefully, causing Demyx and most of the table's inhabitants to jump.
"I'll bless the food. Everyone, bow your heads and clear your minds, especially if they are like someone's here," he sent an annoyed glower in Demyx's general direction,
"and are in the gutter."
Seifer started to chuckle, only to be silenced by Leon's tight grip on his thigh while the rest of the family just seemed straight up uncomfortable. Axel couldn't blame them. Roxas wasn't exactly…possessive…but he wasn't one to back down from something he wanted. Or from protecting something that he had that someone else wanted. Ugh, he knew coming here was a mistake.
"…and finally, please bless the food, and the flawed, annoying, boyfriend-stealing people eating them. Amen." Roxas finished, opening his eyes and smiling innocently. Mumbled "amen's" went around the table as he and Demyx frowned at each other competitively.
"Well!" Mrs. Haiku suddenly butted in, once more breaking the tension. "Let's eat!"
Now here was the best part of coming to meet Roxas' parents! The food! Axel waited to get his helpings of the food patiently; he watched enough movies to know that just reaching for the food would be rude. Mr. Haiku seemed to notice, and gave him an approving nod before passing him the corn. Well, at least that was one thing he did right!
Sora watched the food passing in impatience. It always took way to long for him to get any food, especially when there were guests. As soon as the corn reached Riku, he reached for it almost instantly, forgetting completely that his crush had yet to grab his own helping. Riku looked at him as if he'd lost his mind.
"Are you trying to cut me?"
Sora blinked. What? He didn't even own a knife. "Huh? I'm not trying to shank you."
Riku paused, rolled his eyes, opened his mouth and closed it before trying again. "No, I meant trying to cut me in line. The food line."
"Oh…sorry." Sora offered up, blushing. He didn't want Riku to think he was rude! Axel groaned internally as he watched their cute exchange. Young love was painful. See, he and Roxas were at the point in their relationship now where if he reached for Roxas' corn, he would end up starving for the rest of the night.
"So, Axel…what do you do?" Namine asked, politely turning away from the flirting that was going on next to her. Axel smiled at her and prepared to answer before a slight nudge from Roxas reminded him that his job wasn't exactly…well, legal, but what he meant was, it wasn't a…peaceful profession.
"I'm in…business…right Roxas?" He chuckled anxiously, turning to his lover for assistance. Roxas, who was right in the middle of taking a huge bite of his turkey leg, froze at Namine's pleasant yet curious look. He glanced at Axel once before setting his turkey down and joining in on Axel's laughter.
No one else joined in.
"Why yes, Nami, Axel does…business." He answered after he finished his edgy laughing. When Cloud raised a dubious eyebrow at him –really, what had him so wired? –he took a huge bite into his food to stop himself from speaking.
Axel couldn't help but grin at him. Even though he was about to screw himself over, he couldn't stop the affection that flooded him for the blonde next to him, even if he was a terrible liar and one of those people who laughed when they were nervous.
"What kind of business?" Cloud practically demanded, earning himself a harsh warning look from Demyx, who was about tired of his brother being openly hostile to his man.
"Oh, you know, just the normal business like things…" Axel dodged, purposely avoiding the answer. Cloud narrowed his eyes at him. He didn't trust him. Obviously.
"Prostitutes do normal business like things too. Are you a prostitute?" He deadpanned. The moment the words left Cloud's mouth, pandemonium broke out. Mr. Haiku dropped his fork while Mrs. Haiku gasped and performed a quick little prayer on his behalf. Namine and Demyx immediately choked on what they were eating and simultaneously blushed at the thought at Axel as a prostitute, while Rikku and her gang burst out in giggles. Sephiroth simply raised an eyebrow in indifference, while Leon and Seifer both chuckled, although they tried to hide it by coughing loudly. Riku and Sora just rolled their eyes; they were used to Cloud's antics, but Roxas…it was his reaction that Axel really watched for, despite his annoyance at the older, blonde nuisance.
Roxas, after watching his family's outburst, glared at everyone before finally pushing his seat out and leaving the room without another word, looking pissed off and hurt that his family would do this to Axel, the love of his life, for Christ sake.
At that point, everyone seemed to die down and started looking ashamed of their behavior, especially Cloud, who started it in the first place. Axel felt no pity for them. Oh, so they felt bad now? Well they should!
"Well, way to go Cloud." Rikku snapped, rolling up her napkin and lashing it at him like a wet towel. He glared at her but said nothing. A wise decision.
"I'm going to go talk to Roxas." Namine announced, scooting out of her chair. "Please excuse me, Axel."
Axel shrugged. Eh, it wasn't like he was going to say, "No, stay here." Why was she even asking him?
But…that was probably what he should be doing anyway. He didn't want Roxas to be upset…technically he should have thought up a lie for his occupation before sitting down to dinner. Damn. Why did he only think of these things after he needed them?
"Yeah, I better go check on him too." Axel muttered, preparing to stand up when Mrs. Haiku stared up at him, looking alarmed. Her expression made him pause. No? Was he about to make things even worse than they already were?
"Oh no, please Axel, please stay. Oh my, this dinner is just going all wrong!" She wailed, looking as if she were about to burst in tears at any minute. Mr. Haiku soothingly rubbed her back, meanwhile sending pointed glowers to all of his children.
"So, uh…Axel." Sora began, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck where Riku was touching it just a second ago. Axel raised an eyebrow. Friends with benefits? Really? Even though he had just dated Roxas? Hmm.
"Yep?"
"You aren't really a prostitute, right?" He wanted to know, looking completely innocent despite Riku's snickering. At Axel's dumbfounded expression, he added, "I mean, you have Roxas to give you sex!"
6:30 P.M.
This wasn't going to work, and really, Roxas was surprised he ever thought it would. Of course his family didn't like Axel. Other than Riku, when did his family like anyone he brought home? He just thought…that this time...
Each time his siblings and parents disliked the man he brought home, it was for a just cause, like Seifer not being liked because he was an asshole…stuff like that. And he always kind of thought if his family didn't like the guy, the guy wasn't right for him.
Roxas sighed. Guess Axel wasn't the right guy for him either.
Suddenly his door opened slightly, and Namine's cautious blue eyes blinked widely at him. "Uh, Roxas? It's me, Namine."
Yeah, because he couldn't see that for himself. "Yeah, I know. Come in."
At his calmed tone, she perked up slightly and slid inside his moderately sized room, being sure to close and lock the door behind her. Privacy was always their strong suit.
"Roxas, I have to ask you something."
"What?"
"Are you and Axel engaged?"
7:00 P.M.
"Well, thanks for a great meal, Hannah!" Axel complimented Mrs. Haiku cheerfully, standing up and stretching obnoxiously. "I really appreciate all the time you took cooking-"
"You didn't answer the question!" Rikku whined, practically lying across the table in order to grab Axel's hand and prevent him from walking off. "Do you and Roxas use a condom every time?!"
"Rikku, that's enough!" Mrs. Haiku practically croaked with a hoarse voice from scolding all of her children repeatedly for the last thirty minutes to stop their private and sexual questions. It didn't work. All it succeeded in doing was making her lose her voice and temper. Axel felt kind of bad for her. It wasn't her fault that she had a bunch of bad-ass kids.
"No, no, let him answer the question." Mr. Haiku amended, ignoring his wife, who finally just silently walked away. "Well Axel?"
Axel would've punched him if it wasn't for him being his lover's father. This was ridiculous! All he wanted to do now was go home, start the Jacuzzi, put some rose petals in it, and ravish Roxas like he'd never been ravished before!
"Oh Axel!" Roxas would cry, mewling in pleasure as Axel's fingers danced against his hardness. He would arch his back and beg him to stop while he could still control it. And Axel, loving the power to pleasure his lover even more than pleasuring himself would whisper,
"Lose control, baby. Lose control."
"Ohmigod, ew! What were you just daydreaming about?!" Sora shrieked, suddenly next to him as he pointed down at Axel's new bulge. Oh crap! Did he really just fantasize about Roxas in front his parents and siblings? Oh man, he must be really horny!
"Gross, man. You've got to control that sort of thing." Riku chided before dragging Sora out the room, teasingly mumbling to him, "there, there, did that dirty pervert scare you?" Axel growled. He was asking for an ass kicking.
"Man, are you lucky my parents aren't in the room!" Rikku giggled, cocking a hip at him and resting against his back. "Oh, and also, don't take tonight's dinner personally. Everyone really does like you, you know."
As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Sephiroth passed by with Cloud in tow, the latter shooting Axel's bulge a murderous glare before shaking his head and storming out the room. The redhead glanced back at Rikku dubiously.
She shuffled her feet awkwardly. "Except him."
"Thought so."
And with that, Axel exited the room in three long strides, ignoring the three giggling girls following him and trying to get a better look at his butt. Leon, who was still sitting at the table with Seifer and Demyx, blinked.
"Uh…are they coming back?"
Demyx absently touched Axel's used napkin. "Doesn't look like it."
"Then who's going to do the dishes?" Seifer demanded, scowling down at the piles of plates littering the long table. Demyx took one look at the mess before shooting out of his chair and making a beeline for the stairs, ignoring Seifer's protests and Leon's shocked glare.
"Dammit!"
7:10 P.M.
Roxas watched Namine walk out of his room with an indifferent expression on his face. Okay, true, Namine knew his secret now, but what did it matter in the long run? His little sister could keep a secret and she was going to find out anyway.
He sighed and plopped down dramatically on his bed. This was crazy. All of this shit just to marry an idiot like Axel…what was the world coming to?!Yet….Axel could be kind of adorable when he wanted to confide in him about something…or when he was jealous but didn't want to admit it. And he treated Roxas like a princess- err, prince. Seriously, Axel spoiled him to no end.
Exhibit A:
Monday
Roxas (fishing in his wallet): Damn, I don't have enough money to buy the book I wanted.
Axel (with a big, stupid, cheesy grin): Oh? I'll go buy it for you.
Roxas (annoyed): No. I'll buy it later, okay-- (Axel already to the counter with the book) AXEL!
Tuesday
Axel (sheepish): I got you flowers.
Roxas (shocked): Why?
Axel (with a big, stupid, cheesy grin): I saw them in the store and thought about you. I bought a flower for each day we've been together.
Roxas (beet red): U-Um…
Wednesday
Axel (with a big, stupid, cheesy grin): I bought the latest Demyx CD you were waiting for.
Thursday
Axel (with a big, stupid, cheesy grin): Hey! I know you're cramming for your finals, but I went out and brought you takeout from that 5-star restaurant you like so much.
Friday
Axel (with a big, stupid, cheesy grin): I-
And the list went on and on, with Axel buying him everything under the sun. And Roxas just let him. At this point, he was completely defenseless against it, what with Axel giving him that big, stupid, cheesy grin every time. Anything he wanted, he got, just like that.
Roxas suddenly scowled. Except sex. The one thing he actually asks for, he can't have!
His room door slowly opened, and Axel, speak of the devil, peeked his head within the crack. And what do you know, he grinned that big, stupid, cheesy-
"Hey Roxy baby, I brought you something." He sang, entering inside the room fully when he had deemed the blonde's mood to be average. Roxas was not the most pleasant person to be around when he was upset. Something always ended up broken. And it was usually an innocent bystander's body part.
Roxas scowled at him. "Unless it's your virginity, I don't want it."
Axel laughed. Him? A virgin? Don't make him laugh. He trotted over to the bed and sat down next to his fiancé, reaching in his pocket and slowly pulling out a crumbled napkin, one that had him grimacing.
"EW…I mean, you shouldn't have. No really, Axel. You shouldn't have." Roxas stressed, and Axel gave him a look. If he didn't stop making fun of him, he wasn't going to get the damn gift at all.
He gently opened up the napkin, revealing the treasure that lay inside. "This was a gift I bought for you while I was away."
Roxas' mouth fell open and his hands trembled as he reached for the beautiful pure silver ring with real black and white diamonds encrusting its entire circular surface. "You bought this? For me?"
Axel rolled his eyes as he slid the ring on Roxas' finger. "Of course it's for you. Who else would it be for?"
He smirked when the blonde fell silent, looking as if he were choking back some strong emotions. Aw…how adorable. Roxas was too perfect for words…he was strong, cute, loyal-
Axel suddenly darkened. Wait a minute.
"You know," He began flatly, ignoring the cute, confused little frown Roxas gave him at the change of voice, "I was going to give that to you last month, on Halloween."
Roxas, who noticed the mood swing but was too high to really divulge too deep into it, distractedly murmured, "Eh? Why didn't you?"
"If I recall, all of your attention was on the Halloween Party and you couldn't concentrate enough to open the door for the UPS man. He had to send it back. Maybe that was when you were in the closet, making out with Riku the Cake Boy for fifteen minutes…" He lamented, raising an eyebrow when Roxas practically dropped the ring in startled panic.
He winced unconvincingly at the red head. "Would you believe me if I told you it's not as serious as it seems?"
Axel narrowed his eyes ominously. He wasn't getting out of this that easily. "Eh, it depends on your testimony."
"Okay, look," Roxas started, taking a deep breath. "Let me begin by saying that none of this was my idea at all. We were at the Halloween Party, the one that I had poured my blood and tears into, mind you, and suddenly Kairi, Sora's best friend who is just as hyper and gullible as he is, only not as dense, goes, 'let's play Seven Minutes in Heaven, just for old time's sake!' because we've had a Halloween Party every year since kindergarten and we used to always play that. I tried telling them that I couldn't, but they looked so hurt and refused to play if I didn't play!"
He peered up at Axel, blinking his beautiful blue eyes. "Tragic, isn't it?"
Axel smirked at him. He knew this trick. "That's not going to work, Roxy. Keep explaining."
Roxas sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So everyone's playing, and I'm just sitting there, content on not being chosen, and what do you know, the bottle lands on me. Oh wow, it's Riku who spun it! Who'd have thought? Well, I'm a good sport, so I go inside the closet with him, but I'm an even better boyfriend, so I fully intended to let him know that this wasn't going to happen."
When Roxas stopped talking, Axel paused, blinking at the long, awkward silence that followed. He raised an eyebrow. "Is that it?"
The blonde nodded. "Yes."
"But…you just said you fully intended to let him know that it wasn't going to happen."
"Yes."
"But it did happen."
"Yes."
Axel smacked his forehead. This was more trouble than it was worth. For the sake of their impending engagement and his inability to stay mad at Roxas for more than an hour, he was just going to let this go.
"Alright. Fine. As long as the kissing meant nothing, and as long as it'll never happen again." He exhaled, pulling him to his chest and wrapping his arms around him. The blonde laughed and toyed with the ring on his finger.
"I assure you, it meant nothing. Ha…as if. Riku is such a…he's so…well, let's just say he isn't you." Roxas finally decided, finding it hard to find any flaws in his ex. That was just one tidbit he didn't need the red head knowing. He suddenly smiled. Now that they had resolved that…and they were holding each other, sex would be so easy to obtain!
Suddenly the door slammed open, causing Axel to spring away from him as if he had been burned. Roxas glared at him before directing his scorn at the person who had interrupted his snuggling. He was about to get laid, dammit!
"Hey Rox, Mom said that it's time for you to tell Axel to get his 'damn tentacles off of your innocent body' and come to my room until we go to sleep." Sora recounted cheerfully, grinning madly while he relayed his message. Axel tilted his head at him. How could one person be so joyous?
Roxas widened his eyes in shock. "Mom did not say that!"
"No duh, Sherlock." Sora laughed while Roxas gave him an exhausted, annoyed scowl. "Dad told me to tell you that Mom said of all that, because he doesn't want Axel to know how much he secretly hates him."
Axel's whole body slumped dejectedly. Was he that bad? He took comfort in the small pat Roxas gave him on the head.
"Anyway. Let's go. Riku just went home, and I'm bored. You need to come entertain me." Sora demanded seriously, cocking his hip against the doorframe and looking at the two lovers expectantly.
"Do you see what I have to deal with?" Roxas whispered to Axel with a sigh, giggling when the red head nestled his neck to half-heartedly stop him from leaving.
Sora huffed exagerratedly. "My boredom isn't going to cure itself, you know."
Roxas rolled his eyes, reluctantly pulling away from him and standing up with a yawn. "Well, I guess I am kind of tired."
Axel watched the two leave Roxas' room with a determined sigh. Well, the day was almost over. If he could last one day, than he could easily last them all. He wasn't sure how long Roxas expected them to stay here, but it didn't matter, because he was in it for the long haul.
Because it was a fact. Roxas Haiku was his selfish, possessive, unappreciative, teasing, playful, adorable soul mate. And Axel would do anything to make him belong to him, so that no outside force could break through their emotional bond.
"Yo, Giraffe, the name is Zack. And I'm here…to sleep with you. Now, get on your back and spread your legs."
Yes, Axel would do anything for Roxas.
Just not that.
So, we have a lot of characters introduced, huh? And trust me, we aren't done! There's one more thrilling installment in the Meet the Family series, and trust me, it is the funniest, most exciting, romantic chapter yet! You don't want to miss it! And it's coming to you real soon! Not in a year, though, I promise! :D