chapter 12.
My last few weeks here have been surprisingly interesting.
I work two jobs now, cooking in the restaurant at dinner time and the wedding singer. I'm on maternity leave right now though.
And guess what... I get to have my baby today. Or at least my water should break today. It's been exactly 40 weeks and now I just have to wait. Ava's been amazing in her own annoyingly rude way of doing everything, she's been a really big help. Thanks to her I get to have my son in the hotel. Yes her step brother is a doctor and he's going to do the whole business himself. He just left actually; he's been checking up on me routinely all day.
"Ella?" Ava's voice sounds from the living room. Does she ever knock?
"In here!" I yell back from the kitchen, slicing up a tomato for my sandwich.
"Hey, so how're you feeling?"
I shrug and reply," fit as a fiddle."
I look up just in time to see her roll her eyes at me.
"Thought of a name yet?"
"Yes, I think so. Cole. What'd you think?" I watch her expression now trying to decipher her thoughts. But, as I've come to realize, Ava is master of the poker face.
She shrugs. "Sounds good," she leans against the granite counter tops, "Cole Swanson. Yeah, I like it."
I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Why should I give a shit weather Ava approves of my son's name or not?
"What about a middle name?" Her question freezes me over just as I'm about to take the first bite of my sandwich. I hadn't even thought about a middle name.
"Um..." is all I can think to say.
Ava rolls her eyes again and sighs dramatically. "Oh come on Ella! Do you want me to pick one?" She rests her green eyes on me and places her hands on her perfectly proportioned hips.
"Yes, please." I squeak.
Ava sighs a big huff of air and sits down at my table. "Hmm..." She drums her finger nails against the polished wood and take a long pause to think so I sit down and start in on my sandwich.
I'm putting the plate in the dishwasher when finally Ava says, "Fletcher."
"Huh?" I ask not remembering what it was she was pondering over.
"Your son's middle name is Fletcher. Cole Fletcher Swanson. I like it." She says the last part defensively, taking my silence as a bad this. Frankly, I couldn't care less what my sons name was just as long as it didn't remind me of my past and he was healthy.
"I like it too. It's ... distinguished." I say and the angry look in her eyes vanishes immediately, now they rake over my outfit. Usually I make an effort to satisfy her need that every employee must be fashionable and handsome but today I was just way too tired to even think about it. I can imagine her distaste at my messy hair bun, my black sweats, my baggy white tee shirt that had a mustard stain on it. Yes I looked like crap of I also have a baby ready to pop out any second. I think I should be allowed at least one day to look horrible.
"Well, I can't say you look totally hideous." Ava says, her voice snooty. "At least your new spray tan looks nice."
Ava's been gradually darkening my spray tans each time. Now my skin looks tan and sun-browned and glowing. She darkened my hair also making it a dark brown, almost black.
"Thanks." I mutter sarcastically and shrug off her words. "Well, bye."
"What?"
"I want to take a nap. So... bye."
"Oh, well then. See you later Ella. Bye Cole!" Ava closes the door just after she yells to me the last sentence.
Unconsciously my hand goes to my giant stomach.
I trudge into the mast bedroom and pretty much collapse on my bed cooing my baby's name over and over again. I climb under the covers and pray silently for no dreams.
~S~
I wake to the pain stabbing me in my lower abdomen, finding myself in the sitting position drenched in sweat.
"Argh," I groan, and notice that my legs feel oddly wet... did I wet the bed?
I shake my head as realization sets in. Cole Fletcher Swanson was coming now. And fast.
My eyes squeeze shut.
A pain filled shriek rips its way up my throat as more knives push through my stomach.
"Ella!" I vaguely recognize Ava's step-brother, Dr. Stabler's voice.
I open my eyes and the next scream isn't filled with the agony happening in my belly. A pair of the most beautiful topaz eyes glared back at me.
The only hallucinations I've had since I came to the hotel have all been dreams and the feeling of eyes on my back. Nothing more. Thankfully.
But now it's as if everything I have missed is coming at me now at full force. The next scream that erupts from me is a siren of torture, it's a sound a wounded animal would make. And that's what I am. Wounded. Bleeding. Hurt. And very near shattering.
I'm vaguely aware of being moved but I can't take my eyes off Edward to look around. He is everywhere. His breath is my air. His cold skin is all I touch. His chiseled face is all I see. There is nothing but him. I know nothing but him.
"Ella!" The voice is dim and from far away. I ignore it.
"Ella!" Leave me alone.
"ELLA!" This time the sound is not far away but right next to me, in my ear. I flinch.
"What?" I ask, my eyes still fixated on his golden ones.
"I need you to push Ella! Now, push!" Push? Push what? But after a few more second of agony I understand the voices meaning and push.
I scream.
"Again." I know the voice this time. I would know this voice anywhere. "Bella, push. Don't give up. Push." Edward still sounds angry.
His voice dangles in the air around me. Intoxicating.
Another scream. Mine, obviously, but I do what says.
His perfect face is so close to mine. If I could just conjure up the energy I would lean forward, ever so slightly, and then our noses would touch. Just one touch. That's all I want. Is that really so selfish?
More yelling at me, I barely discern the words to find that they want me to push some more and take quick, deep breaths. I do. Maybe if I do what they tell me to they'll shut up. But I don't even have the energy to lean forward. How am I supposed to push?
I scream again, a strangled sound of frustration, angry, pain and rejoice. I can't help the happiness at the sight of Edwards face. If I could... I'm not sure if I would change how I feel for him. That's certainly not a good thing but I don't really care right now; I have more important matters to worry about.
Just as I'm thinking that maybe I'll be stuck like this forever. Staring at his face in a world of agony and love.
But then the crying of a newborn destroys everything. Edwards face fades away taking his scent and voice with it. The pain in my body starts to die out. My son is born. Paul's son is born.
"G-give him to me," I gasp out. My breath has become ragged. Or maybe its always been like that, I wouldn't have noticed.
Cole Fletcher Swanson is placed in my arms and he is beautiful. Dr. Stabler cleaned him up real quick. His head is covered in ink black locks. His eyes are wide open, staring up at me. I stare back.
"Baby Cole. I'm your momma. Welcome to the world honey." The words are a horrible whisper, barely understandable but I think Cole did get what I was saying.
He raised a tiny, dimpled hand and cupped my chin, a wide grin forming on his plump lips. They say baby's don't smile when they first born, that it's something they have to learn by watching others do this like walking and talking, but my baby smiled not five minutes after he was born. Yes, my baby Cole smiled.