*Authors Note*I'd like to take a quick moment to apologise; my lovely beta hasn't had a chance to check this, and I needed to post it today as I'm going to be without internet for at least another two weeks by the looks of things. Because of this, it has not been beta'd. I've tried to check it over myself, and cut out as many mistakes as possible, but I know I've probably missed a few! I'm very sorry about this, I hope it does not affect your reading experience!

ONWARDS!

"POTTER!" Lily fumed, hand loosely wrapped around the handle of a small basket. "If you think this is going to make me fall madly in love with you, you need to take a good long look in the mirror. Give it up!"

The entire Great Hall watched the drama over their breakfasts, amused by the prefect's anger and the prankster's audacity. In the middle of the furore, alongside the warring duo, sat the remaining marauders. Peter gnawed his lip as he watched James fight a losing battle, whilst Sirius nudged Remus with a grin on his face, and Remus continued eating, seemingly oblivious to the couple's argument (to the untrained eye, that was).

"But darling! Can't you see that we're made for one another?" James' deep voice echoed around the Great Hall as Lily stomped towards him, anger emanating from her every pore. Falling to his knees, he smiled up at her, grabbing Lily's free hand. "You could be the Nancy to my Sid! The Leia to my Hans! The Queen to my Phillip!"

"Potter, you idiot, are you implying you are a racist, murdering, reckless mercenary? And that I'm a 56 year old woman who you kill while I have affairs with my siblings?" Lily frowned with one raised eyebrow, holding her box of muggle merchandise sceptically as she looked at the muggle DVDs, muggle chocolate, non-magical toaster and shirt saying 'muggles do it better'.

"What?" James panicked, scanning his mind for an appropriate response.

"Well? Do you actually have any idea who Nancy, Sid, Leia or Han are, or did you just assume I'd cascade dramatically into your arms, at the mere thought that you love me enough to have flicked through a muggle studies text book?" Lily asked sarcastically, clutching her hands dramatically against her chest. "Oh James, your dedication to the cause truly tugs at my heart strings."

"I was merely implying that we are quintessentially designed for one another, like the queen and her gloriously perfect hubby. I could be your personal prince, my darling, your own Prince Phillip." James smiled, hoping this was an acceptable response. Judging the angry glare on Lily's face, it wasn't. James scrambled to his feet as Lily snatched her hand back, flicking her hair in fury.

"You couldn't be more wrong. I've met one eyed centaurs with behavioural problems that are better suited for me than you." Lily hissed angrily, grabbing her bag from the floor and throwing the basket of gifts aside, subtly grabbing the bar of Cadbury's chocolate. "And, had you done the slightest bit of research, you'd know that Prince Phillip may well be the one man in the world less desirable than you."

James sighed as Lily turned away with a huff, going to the other end of the Gryffindor table where her giggling friends were stationed. Slipping back into his seat alongside Peter, James slumped, head resting softly on his arms. "Unlucky, mate. At least this time she said you were the second least desirable man in the world! Its an improvement!" Peter grinned supportively. "She'll come around to your charms soon." Peter finished, slapping James on the back.

"Hopefully not too soon..." Remus muttered, hiding his smile behind a spoonful of cornflakes as Sirius glanced at him inquisitively.

"How did that not work? I bought her chocolate, dammit, that should work with women!" James fumed, slamming a fist down on the table disappointedly.

"If you were romancing Moony, maybe." Sirius laughed, nudging the werewolf with his shoulder. Remus smiled over at James, sipping pointedly at his pumpkin juice. "Oh Lilyflower, my precious darling, aren't we just made for one another!" Sirius barked, draping himself over a smirking Remus. "I am quintessentially designed for you" He laughed, face inches from Remus's as he grinned, grabbing a jar from the table. "Moony, my darling, may I have your hand in marriage in exchange for this fantastic tub of chocolate spread?"

"How could I dream of rejecting such a generous offer?" Remus smiled, laughing and praying he was not blushing as Sirius threw himself at the werewolf.

"You'd marry him for a tub of nutella?" Peter grinned, gulping at his hot chocolate. "What on earth would you do for one of those yards of chocolate?"

"I fear that is inappropriate conversation for the breakfast table, Pete." Remus grinned, oblivious to the shade of red that Sirius alongside him developed. James, however did notice, not that he was ever going to tell Remus. That would be far too advantageous for the werewolf, and that would just not do.

Sirius glanced over at Remus for a moment, small smile on his face, before he realised he was staring. Glancing around the table quickly to check he hadn't been caught, he slapped his knee, needing to escape. "Oh, rhubarb. I've gone and left my copy of your charms homework up in the dorms..." Sirius frowned. He stood up, discarding his napkin as he climbed off the bench, leaning over Remus to steal a slice of toast.

"I need to pop up to the dorms too." Peter piped up, standing and climbing off the bench with far less grace. "You two coming?" Remus motioned to his still full bowl of cornflakes, whilst James shook his head. "See you in charms, then." The pair walked off, leaving Remus smirking at James.

"I don't know why you're looking at me like that." James huffed, chomping into his toast angrily. "Its not as if anything has changed."

"Perhaps not." Remus replied, motioning with his spoon towards the exit to the hall. "But if this meal has proved anything, its that I'm considerably further along with Sirius than you are with Lily."

"There's a very fine line between love and hate. There's a massive canyon between friendship and love, though." James poked his tongue out, stabbing his bacon frustratedly and putting far too much in his mouth.

"By that logic you and Snape are mere days from announcing your wedding plans." Remus stated, wiping his mouth casually as James gagged, slapping a hand over his mouth to prevent bacon spraying everywhere. Swallowing the bacon, he glared at Remus.

"You take that back." James pointed accusingly.

"Make me." Remus stuck his tongue out, grabbing his bag. "Come on, we'll be late for Charms."

"I can't believe you just said I should marry Snivelly. You, sir, have no concept of love." James huffed as they exited the great hall, barging Remus lightly with his shoulder. "Really, me and Snivelly..."

"In fairness, he'd probably kiss you before Lily will." Remus muttered, laughing as James froze, an affronted look plastered to his face. "I'm joking, James." He smiled, grinning once more as James smiled lightly. "He'd definitely kiss you before Lily will." Remus was running before he finished his sentence, werewolf strength ensuring he was well out of the corridor before James registered what was said.

"Remus Lupin!!!!"

Remus sighed as he sat in the Library that evening, gnawing at his lip as he leant over the parchment nervously. Having finished his Charms essay, he was working on something far more important and difficult.

Romancing Sirius Black.

Picking up his quill once more, Remus placed the nib to parchment, attempting to form a plan in his mind. He was not James; he couldn't just 'wing it' and hope for the best. Remus knew he only had one shot at this, else a friendship would be shattered and he'd never be able to look Sirius nor James in the eye ever again.

Nonetheless, a tiny, relatively quiet voice in Remus' head kept repeating that it would all be worth it if this were to work.

Taking a final deep breath, Remus began writing, trying not to forget anything important as he formed his plan.

Romancing Sirius, To Do List
-Work out if I most definitely want to kiss Sirius
-Flirt with Sirius (abandon ship if the man that would flirt with a rock doesn't flirt back)
-Coax Sirius into coming out (or, abandon ship if he maintains that he's 100% straight)
-Come out to Sirius and Peter (Peter is essential, no coming out to just Sirius or you'll end up jumping him.)
-Make Sirius fall madly in love with me (or, abandon ship if he doesn't fall in love)
-Hope Sirius kisses me (or, abandon ship when he kisses some other men/women instead)
-Laugh as James dances round the great hall naked (or dance round hall myself should I abandon ship)
-Sail off into the sunset with Sirius on the hopefully unabandoned ship.

Remus sighed, glancing over the list once more. His lips quirked upwards as he read the first bullet once more, and he ticked it off immediately. There was no doubting, despite what he had protested to James, that he most definitely wanted to kiss Sirius.

Normally this would have been a problem. After all, Sirius was most definitely male. However, it was made significantly easier by the fact that Remus was, most definitely, gay. Not that he had told anyone yet. Oh, of course not. Well, apart from the people he had dated, but that was very much par for the course. No one except those three, and certainly not any of his friends. He didn't even think he'd so much as hinted at it, so James seemed to have worked it out quite quickly, to his credit.

Remus was quite content with his status as a single man in the short term at least, should Sirius be unachievable. His few, short lived romances had all occurred over the summer months; he had nowhere near enough time away from the Marauders to form a relationship with anyone, which is why a relationship with Sirius would not only be very very desirable, but also rather practical.

Remus took a moment to himself, smiling as he imagined the possible benefits of this bet. Whilst, previously, he had been more than happy to sit back and just look at Sirius, James' little competition did make his desire to do more than just look that much stronger. If - and it was a big 'if' - Sirius was interested in more than friendship... Well, he'd have to learn some mighty strong silencing charms, so he could do all the things he had imagined without interruption.

Light footsteps behind him alerted Remus that he was no longer alone. Smiling, he kept his eyes trained on the papers. "Hello Sid. Or are you Nancy?"

"Hello, Casanova." James smirked, leaning over Remus' shoulder as he pinched him hard in revenge. "You made a 'to do list' for your love life? How romantic." He scrunched up his nose, walking round the table to sit opposite.

"Its pragmatic." Remus smiled, sliding the seat opposite out with the sole of his foot. Besides, I need all the help I can get.

"Pragmatic means nothing in the world of love, Moony. You can't plan your love life, you've got to act on instinct!"

"Like you did this morning?" Remus smiled softly. "Maybe if you took a moment to think about the best approach you could take -"

"I'm not about to sap the passion out of our courtship and replace it with empty organised assault on my poor Lily!" James laughed, grabbing the parchment out of Remus' hands. "Sail off into the sunset with Sirius on the hopefully unabandoned ship. If Sirius is going to transport you anywhere, Rem, it wont be on a boat. You'll either be on a broom or a motorbike."

"I didn't mean it literally, Prongs." Remus smiled, taking the parchment back. "Its a metaphor."

"That's what they all say." James scoffed. "Lets try another little language device. Remus is as lovesick as a dragon over his infatuation for-"

"Myself, of course." Sirius jumped in, entering the small library cubby hole silently, barking out a laugh at the looks of shock on James and Remus' faces. Remus shoved the parchment into his pocket rapidly, exhaling sharply when he was sure Sirius had not seen it. "Like the rest of the Hogwarts population, dear old Moony is not resilient to my suave charm, are you darling?" Sirius barked, wrapping his arms around Remus' torso.

"Of course not." Remus stated drily as he regained his composure, peeling Sirius off himself. "How could I resist your floppy hair and entire lack of work ethic?"

"That hurts right here." Sirius pouted, clutching his hands over his heart dramatically. "And here I thought our love was infallible."

"Only until I find someone with better hair."

"Well then I'm safe for life, as you should well know that there is no one in the entire world with hair better than this magnificent mane." Sirius grinned, grabbing Remus' books and shoving them into his bag. "So, who is Remus as lovesick as a dragon over?"

"Lovesick as a dragon is an awful analogy. I have never yet met a lovesick dragon." Remus retorted, grabbing his books back and spreading them out on the table once more.

"Clearly you've been hanging out with the wrong dragons." James interspersed, tapping his quill against the table in amusement as he watched Remus and Sirius repeatedly pack and unpack Remus's books.

"Padfoot, I need to write my Transfiguration essay!"

"The library makes me feel nauseous." Sirius whined, grabbing Remus' books and shoving them into his own bag. "We're going outside so that you can tell me why you're a lovesick dragon."

"No, you're going outside, and you can take James with you if you like, but I'm staying here, like the lovesick dragon I am."

"There's no point you staying here if I have all your books!" Sirius grinned, holding his book bag out of reach.

"Sirius, this is a library. There are plenty of books I can borrow."

"Blast." Sirius frowned, shoulders slumping slightly. Motioning towards James, the pair stood, moving towards the exit. "You're no fun, Moony."

"Nope." Remus stated curtly, eyes never leaving his parchment as he avoided Sirius' kicked puppy gaze. The pureblood sighed, opening the door to let James out, before hanging back for a moment.

"Who are you lovesick over?" He asked curiously, eyes trained on Remus's face. Remus paused in his writing, glancing at Sirius momentarily.

"Oh, no one you'd know." He lied, returning to his essay as Sirius frowned, following James' lead and exiting the library. Remus sighed, taking a moment to compose himself, before he returned to his essay, mind whirling 100 miles an hour with confusion and ideas.

Two hours later, Remus returned to an empty dormitory, moving over towards his bed tiredly. Stretching languidly, he tilted his head, spotting a curiously shaped parcel on his bed. Unwrapping it rapidly, he grinned, examining the large bar of Honeyduke's best as he read the attached note.

What on earth would you do for one of these yards of chocolate? Now I'm curious. SB

Woop! OH MY GOD, 16 REVIEWS! You guys spoil me so *^.^*

Now lets beat that! We can do so much better! 20 reviews leads to a naked Remus or Sirius appearing in the next chapter. 30 reviews (not going to happen) leads to both of them being naked. Come on, who can resist that?

Ravenclaw Royalty, I haven't planned how long I'm going to make it! I'm taking a leaf out of James's book for once and following my instincts instead of planning ahead for the story, so it depends on a) how I feel as it progresses, b) whether I'm getting a good response for it and c) whether I continue it once Sirius and Remus are together, which I probably wont. Maybe a sequel, who knows. We'll see :)