Sirius burst into the hospital wing, robe flying behind him as he shuddered to a halt in the centre of the ward. Spotting his intended target, Sirius flew towards the bed, leaning against the railings anxiously as he gazed down at the far too pale figure beneath the stony sheets.
"Sweet Lady Godiva!" Sirius yelled, putting his hand upon Remus forehead worriedly. "Is he dead?" Sirius' voice cracked as his large grey eyes focussed upon the fretting nurse.
"Don't be silly, Sirius Black! He's hardly ready to run a marathon, but he'll live." Pomfrey stated, fluttering around the bed anxiously as she placed cooling spells on the bedbound boy. "He has a fever, but nothing his body cannot handle, I am glad to say."
"Who did this to him?! I'll curse them so hard they won't stand for a week!"
"I think you'll find Mister Potter has already seen to that, Mister Black!" McGonagall screeched from across the room, strands of hair flying loose from her bun as she held the culprit of Remus' downfall to the bed, his legs replaced by long, gnarly tentacles. "And if you even so much as think of another incantation, you'll have detention for a year!" Sirius ignored her, far too focussed on Remus' stationary form.
"Blood!" Sirius screeched, pointing to Remus' stained pillow. "Blood! He's bleeding! He's going to die!"
"Mister Black, calm yourself! You're upsetting the other patient." McGonagall yelled, whilst being slapped round the face by a loose tentacle.
"I'll do more than bleeding upset them if they think they can abuse Moony! What the hell happened?" Sirius fumed, running a hand through Remus' matted hair.
"Well, Mister Black," McGonagall huffed as she finally stunned the fussing boy under her care. "I believe the whole mess started after you punched Mister Abbott, supposedly mentioning Remus' name during the unnecessary attack on your fellow student. Needless to say, a comrade of Mister Abbott sought revenge, attacking Remus with a severing spell of some sort to the back of the head. Really, Mister Black, if you had any sort of decorum, this whole mess could have been avoided."
"You're blaming me? I wasn't even there!"
"You may not have been there at the climax, Mister Black, but you were there to instigate the conflict. Really, if you must get into such fights, at least avoid getting poor Remus involved. He has enough to deal with." Mme Pomfrey huffed, placing a final few cooling charms on her patient. "Why he's friends with you, I really do not know."
Pomfrey and McGonagall slipped into the nurse's office, unnoticed by the only conscious member of the room. Sirius sighed, eyes still focussed on the horrific deep red stain spread across his friend's pillow. Gazing into Remus' eyes sadly, Sirius leant down to place a light kiss to the corner of Remus' mouth. Sighing once more, Sirius pulled away, his brain trying to make sense of the cobweb of emotions floating around after that rather feminine gesture.
"I need some women. And liquor. Women and liquor. And a lollypop." Sirius stated in a deep voice, glancing at Remus one final time before heading for the door.
The slam of the door to the Hospital Wing echoed as the pureblood left, rousing a sleepy werewolf from his drug induced slumber.
Remus opened his eyes blearily, looking to either side of his bed briefly, ignoring the octipodean creature curled in the corner of the room. Yawning widely, Remus sighed, closing his eyes, fingers resting on the corner of his mouth as he drifted to sleep once more, muttering about shiny black hair and roman noses.
James paced anxiously around the common room, snapping at the first years who stood in his way. Sighing, Lily placed her book on the table, standing up with a weary sigh.
"Potter, what the hell is wrong with you?" Lily stormed up to the anxious teen. "You'll wear a hole in the carpet if you keep pacing like that!"
"Sorry, Evans. Its just that Remus is in the hospital wing, and Pomfrey sent me away but I'm worried about him. One of the hufflepuffs cursed him, and I know he'll be fine but he'd want someone to be with him, even if he wouldn't admit it." James huffed, dragging a hand through his hair anxiously.
"He's a big boy, Potter, I'm sure he'll be okay alone for a while." Lily stated, eyebrow raised.
"No! If he woke up, he would want me or Sirius or Pete to be with him - Pete's in the library, and Sirius is God knows where! I should be in there, dammit, he's my friend."
"James." Lily lay a hand on his arm, smiling softly. "I'm sure, were Remus to be in a life threatening condition, McGonagall would come and find you. He needs rest, and even if he does wake he'll hardly be coherent, so just take a deep, calming breath, and relax. There's nothing you can do right now. " James inhaled slowly, gazing deeply into Lily's eyes as he slowly forgot about Remus and focussed solely on the small, gorgeous hand resting on his arm.
She's falling for the Potter charm. Act now, before the short window of niceness is slammed in your face! A voice that sounded suspiciously like Sirius yelled in James' mind. Scanning his mental Romancing Lily List, a flash in the corner of the common room distracted him, before providing the perfect opportunity to attempt idea number 3.
"Lily! Beware of the foul beast that approaches!" James exclaimed, jumping between his love and the terrifying creature that snarled from the corner of the room. "Just look at those feral teeth, its foaming at the mouth, the rabid monster! With the sharp talons at the ends of its beastly legs, it seeks to reap death and destruction!"
"Potter!" Lily gasped in her ever so attractive manner, reaching for her wand cautiously. "What do you think you're doing!?"
"I'm saving you from the oh-so-dangerous creature that puts your life in peril, dear damsel! Run, before it has a chance to smite you with its evil ways!" James shouted, brandishing his wand like a sword. "Begone, evil villain!"
"She's not going to smite me Potter, for Gods sa- Potter! Potter! Don't you dare -" Lily shrieked as she saw James' arm make a familiar swish and flick movement.
"Petrificus Totalus!" James yelled victoriously, swishing his wand with extra flair.
"James Potter!" Lily yelled in what James thought to be a rather adorable tone. She moved forward rapidly towards the creature, before James grabbed her, pulling her into his embrace.
"You need fear no more, fair Lily, the evil monster has been handled! You are safe in my secure hands!"
"You STUNNED my CAT!" Lily screeched, pummelling James in the chest with her fists until he abruptly released her, a look of anxiety on his face.
"Your cat?" James winced, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"My cat. I swear to god, you duffbrained idiot, if she doesn't wake up you'll wish you were dead." Lily's words were laced with venom, her fingers lacing themselves through her large cat's fur.
"But - he was frothing at the mouth..." James stated confusedly, as Lily slipped off her cloak.
"She has a saliva infection." Lily cried, wrapping her cat up in the garment and stomping towards her dormitory. "You're such a dunce, Potter."
"Well." James stated quietly, looking himself over. "At least she didn't curse me." And with that, he walked to his own Dormitory, yellow and green striped tail swishing behind him.
James entered the dormitory, surprised to find Sirius lying on the floor rigidly, a bottle of firewhiskey clutched in his hand and a lollypop in his mouth. "How did you get up here? It was empty five minutes ago!"
"I walked up here while you and Lily were doing your odd heterosexual mating ritual. Nice tail, by the way."
James looked behind him, spotting his new appendage. With a sigh, he clasped his wand and made the swaying tail disappear, before sitting down and lying alongside Sirius. "Nice view from here."
"I thought so. That stain looks like a centaur from here." Sirius stated, turning his head to face his friend and popping the lollypop out of his mouth, throwing it towards his bed. "James?"
"Hmm?"
"How did you know you loved Lily?"
"I just did."
Sirius sighed. "Yeah, but what signals did you have?"
"..." James sat silently, debating what to do. Despite popular belief, James Potter was not an idiot. He knew that Sirius questioning love could only mean one thing, and that did not bode well for the modest nature of James' genitals. "You're falling for a boy."
"I'm not." Sirius sighed, resting his arms on his thighs. "I don't think I'm gay." James sat in silence, "Well, its not that I don't think I'm gay. I just don't think I could be in a relationship with a man."
"You don't?" James blinked, looking at Sirius worriedly. This does not bode well for Remus' sanity.
"There's just too much stigma, you know?" Sirius sighed, placing the firewhiskey next to him and lacing his fingers together. "Like, I wouldn't be able to kiss them in public, or get married, or do all number of other relationship things because they'd be a man and it would be wrong in the eyes of everything else and I don't want to be wrong."
"Could you be in a relationship with a woman?"
"Well, no." Sirius stated, leaning up into a seated position.
"Well then you'd never be able to do any of those things anyway." James stated, propping himself up on his elbows. "I think, Sirius, that if you love someone, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you love them, you'll deal with all of the shit because every night, you get to go to sleep with that one amazing person resting in your arms, and that makes it all worth it."
Sirius sat silently, examining his hands whilst James watched. Sirius bit his lip, taking a gulp of firewhiskey.
"So, do you love someone?'
"Not yet. Ask me again in a week or two, though, and I may have a very different answer for you." Sirius sighed, glancing at the bottle of FireWhiskey in his hands. Taking a final long swig from the bottle, he stood, handing the bottle to James and heading in search of answers.
James sighed, looking at the bottle in his hands. "Remus better thank me, you know. I just donated my dignity so he could find love. He should be bloody grateful." The bottle remained silent, before James tipped it to his mouth, when the glug of liquid seemed to distinctly echo "Yup."
Remus' eyes slipped open the next morning, groaning as the light penetrated his tired pupils. Glaring around the room, he spotted a small, fluffy object sat upon his bedside table.
Looking at the small teddybear, which appeared to be a dog, with a small smile, Remus picked up the note alongside it, reading it as his smile spread further across his face.
Sorry, I've had to dash off, Moony, I was starving! I stole this off some slytherin kid. It looks like Padfoot, doesn't it? Keep him with you, he'll keep the evil crazy Hufflepuffers away from your poor head when the real, far cooler Padfoot is otherwise occupied. Come find me when the old hag releases you from the infirmary, we'll find some girls to swoon over you in your injured state. Love, Pads
Lying back once more, Remus let his eyes drift shut, the new, stolen mini padfoot resting securely in his arms.
Yeah. Sorry for the whole Remus blackout in the last chapter. It wasn't really intended, I just got to the end of writing it and mini Remus in my head started crying 'I'm so tired, author lady, I need time off to visit my kids. Sirius gives them too many ice pops! Its winter, their tiny tongues will freeze off!' and I'm a sucker for a sob story, so I let the poor chap have a week off. Sorry for taking so long to post this, too - life got in the way, damnit!
Major props go to Renai-chan, lovefan81 and MissusPotter for reviewing all 4 chapters! Gosh guys, you're suckers for punishment, coming back again and again... :) OH! And to nosoinnocentfangirl, thanks to you my old RWLRIW story now has more than 700 reviews! ^.^
In answer to Renai-chan on another review... Harry/Draco freaks me out for reasons I don't understand. I think its because I associate Draco with ferrets, and so immediately think 'ew, Harry's into bestiality'... Hmm. I have issues.
Finally, I've two new one shots up - How Sirius Broke The Quidditch Cup and She Asked Me if I Loved You. You know the routine by now - go and read my stories then leave reviews exclaiming my genius. Love you lots xxxx