What are dreams?
A short story featuring John and Cameron from "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles." In a series of small chapters, Cameron learns more about human dreams and relationships and John learns how much his cyborg protector really likes him.
I haven't mentioned it previously, but this story takes place sometime after "Mr. Ferguson is Ill Today" and before Jesse murdered Riley in "Ourselves Alone."
This story goes fully A/U from this point onwards and it looks like it is going to have quite a few chapters. I think it might turn into an alternative to "Ourselves Alone" and the two part story "Today is the Day." I'll see how it goes.
I do not claim any rights to the characters or the TV series.
Chapter 5: Cameron's Dream - Tin-Miss Wants a Heart
John parks the truck near the garage and walks through the back door into the kitchen.
"Ca-am!" John shouts as the screen door slams shut.
No answer.
"She's either sulking because I was just with Riley or she's walking a patrol or both." He says to himself.
Feeling depressed, he goes into the living room and slumps in the sofa. It isn't everyday you break up with an attractive blonde girl just so you can be with your female, terminator, bodyguard who is pretending to be your sister but is actually hotter than nearly any other girl he's ever met.
Suddenly he slams his hand down on the cushion beside himself, "Damn! Why is my life so complicated?" He shouts.
Cameron is just walking into the house. Hiding John's trousers in a basket of laundry, she makes her way into the living room. Long shadows stretch across the room as the sun moves ever closer to the horizon. In another hour they will need to turn on the lights.
She simulates the sound of someone clearing their throat.
John looks up and grins. "You remembered."
"I didn't want to scare you again. Are you all right?" She asks coming into the room and sitting beside him.
John sighs and says, "I broke up with Riley."
"That makes you sad."
"Yes, it does. She's a nice girl and I really liked her company. You told me once I would have many friends in the future. How can I be certain of that when I can't even keep the ones I have now?"
"Do you trust me?" She asks in her innocent voice.
John looks at her, "Yes Cam. I do trust you."
"But you don't believe me?"
"It's not that." John scratches his head. "Let me explain. Can I tell you a story?"
"Yes John. I'd like that very much. You'd often tell me stories in the future. Which one are you going to tell me?" She says as she moves closer to him.
John grins then starts talking. "When I was a boy, we lived in a little village in Nicaragua. It was our last summer there, before Mom and I returned to the states. In that village was a boy almost my own age. He never spoke. Some of the other kids would tease him and beat him."
"There was this one kid who was the worse. He would encourage the other kids to beat and tease the silent kid. One day I went fishing and I found the bully beating the silent kid. There was no one else around. Without thinking I dropped my fishing gear and I ran and I tackled that kid. He was bigger than me but I was angry and I surprised him. We fought."
"For a time I thought he was going kill me, but I was mad. I was sick to death of watching him beat and terrify the silent kid. By the time the fight was over, I had a cracked tooth, a bloody nose, and a black eye. But him, both of his eyes were black and beginning to swell shut, he had a cracked rib, and two teeth missing."
"What happened to the silent boy?"
"He ran off. I thought he was scared, but he returned a few minutes later dragging his mom along, and you want to know something? He was talking. He was all excited telling his mom about how I defended him against the bully. It turned out he wasn't teased for being quiet, he was quiet from being teased."
"His mom treated me like a hero. She made mom and I a special meal in thanks. I learned the boys name was Jorge. He became my friend. We were friends all that summer. Then mom and I went on one of her week long training excursions. When we came back, we found the village had been raided by guerrilla fighters."
"What happened to Jorge?" She asks taking hold of John's hand.
"He was killed. You want to know something? He died defending his mom. We found him draped over his mom's body where he fell, still grasping the pistol he used to fight off the invaders. Whoever they were, killed him and his mother, but they didn't disturb their bodies. They left them untouched. Mom and I buried them, then we left. Came back home to America."
"You never told me that story before. Do you think your defending Jorge gave him the courage to defend his mom?"
"I don't know. Maybe. But if he and his mom ran, instead of making a stand, they might still be alive. If I had waited for another time to fight that other kid . . . I don't know. All I know is, I lose every friend I make eventually. Tonight was the first time I've ever broken a relationship with someone by choice. So right now I find it hard to believe I will have many friends in the future."
"You do. On quiet evenings, when the pressure of the war has eased, you and several others always gather together and share stories. You talk about the things that are important to each of you. They are your friends John. They love you."
"What about you?"
"I'm your friend too, both now and in the future. We talk a lot in the future, like now, when we are alone. I like it when you talk to me. You tell me stories and what you are thinking or feeling. Future you trust me. I want you to trust me like he does."
"I know I can trust you. Future me wouldn't have sent you here to protect me now, if I didn't. It's just difficult to put aside knowing what you are sometimes. When I look at you, I see a beautiful girl. A girl I want to be with every moment. But in the back of my head is this constant set of voices saying: she's a machine John; and she doesn't have a soul and she never will; and she's not really a she, she's an it. And what makes it worse, I see that you are more than a machine, like now and earlier today when I saw you dancing and heard you singing; and how you are responding and acting more on emotion than logic."
"You are lonely. You want friends."
"You see, that's only part of the problem. I'm John Connor. As long as I keep that part of me a lie to everyone, I'll never have a true friendship. Right now, I think you are my only friend in this whole world. There is no one else I could have this conversation with. No one else I could share my feelings with. You are the only person I don't have to lie to for you to be my friend."
Cameron is concerned and pleased. She is concerned about John's happiness, and pleased that he is talking to her, like future John does. She decides to ask him now.
"Do you love me?" She says very gently.
John grasps her hand gently. "I don't know. I think I do. I'd like to ask you a question. When you were stuck between the trucks and you claimed that you loved me and that I loved you, was that the truth?"
"Which part?"
"Both."
"I love you. Future you loves me. He told me just before the time displacement field took me away from him."
"So you and he were never intimate?"
"No."
"Did you want to be intimate with him, have sex?"
"I never considered it. Though I am capable. Even if we wanted to, I don't think we would. There are people in the future who don't trust machines. Not even the ones you reprogram. They don't understand why you befriend us and treat us like equals. If future you and I were intimate, that would have destroyed the resistance. No one would follow a leader who took a machine as his partner."
"But you did love each other?"
"Yes. And I love you, the you I'm with right now." She says her eyes with that sad but hopeful look.
This time John gets it right. "I love you, Cam." John says.
The room grows darker as the sun sets. But the couple on the sofa don't notice as their kissing grows more passionate.
"Would you like to take this upstairs?" She asks when she stops.
"Are you saying you want to have sex?"
"Yes."
"But what you said about it destroying the resistance, if you and I were to . . ."
"There's no one here but us." Cameron says then leans over and kisses him.
They get up from the sofa and walk towards the stairs.
"Why don't you lock the back door and I'll lock the front and set the alarm." John says as they approach the stairs.
After locking the doors they go up the stairs together and enter Cameron's room. They sit beside each other on her queen size bed and resume kissing.
**
A black Dodge Ram sits on the side of a road outside one of the richest neighborhoods in Los Angeles. A gated community. No one gets in unless they live there or are invited to be there. A large figure comes running up and gets inside the truck.
"He's still there. We've been staking out this guy for two days and we still don't even know if he's the right guy or not." Derek complains miserably.
"Bennett has investments with all of the big name technology firms around the globe that specialize in cutting edge technology. If he isn't our guy then I'd like to know who is?" Sarah answers back.
"I know that. But that guy hasn't left his home all weekend."
"Money doesn't go anywhere unless it's to make more money. The people who want his money will go to him. We just sit tight and wait."
"Wait. That's all we've been doing." Derek grumbles.
"For a resistance fighter you are awfully short on patience." Sarah counters.
"I've always been more of a man of action, but I do know how to wait when its important. And right now, this is beginning to look like a wild goose chase."
"Man of action, my ass. Have you gotten a look at that beer gut you're growing. For someone who jogs as often as you claim you do, you should have the flattest stomach of any of us. Except for possibly Tin-miss."
"Speaking of which, I'm surprised you were willing to leave John alone with her over the weekend."
"Beggars can't be choosers. I don't like it either, but if Sky Net sent another of its machines after John, who's best to protect him, you, me or her? Anyway, he has a girlfriend now. One less thing to worry about with Tin-miss but a whole lot more to worry about with John."
"So why didn't you take him on this mission? This seems like something you'd have John or Cameron to help you with."
"John's got schoolwork to do, and besides, it's about time you started taking a more active role. I don't know where you've been going or what you've been doing - and no I'm not going to ask - but we've got a job to do and it can't be done if you're running off all of the time."
"Sorry, mom." Derek says sarcastically.
Sarah turns to give Derek a look when she sees a car coming up the street behind them. "Someone's coming. Get ready to follow them." She says.
After the car goes past, Derek slips out of the truck and runs along the shadows, following the car as it slows to enter the gate. After the car slips through, he dashes forward and watches as the car goes down the road and pulls up in front of the house belonging to the guy they are following.
He pulls a camera from under his jacket and using the telephoto lens he gets some shots of the car and its license plate as it moves away from him. The car stops at the extreme range of the lens. He lines up to take some shots of the occupant. A woman gets out with flowing red hair and goes up the walk to the house. Derek takes some quick snapshots as she walks past hoping some will come out.
He dashes back to the truck and gets inside.
"What did you see?" Sarah asks.
"A black Mercedes, latest model. Company car - had a logo on its bumper. I got shots of it, the license plate and the occupant. I'm not certain how good the photos of the woman will be. The lighting was poor and it was at the extreme range of the lens."
"It's a start. We're going now." Sarah says, as she starts the truck.
"What? Now that something is finally happening you want to leave?"
"Bennett is a money man. The person who is visiting him obviously needs cash or operates a business he invests in. We follow this new clue and find out who his visitor is. We'll need John to help us on that. So we are going home."
**
John and Cameron are laying naked under the covers on her bed. He's laying flat on his back looking at the ceiling, relaxing. John can hardly believe how good it was. For his first time having sex, he couldn't of had a better lover.
Cameron lays on her left side facing John, her head on his shoulder, and her right arm draped across his chest. She can feel his heart beating through her hand. It feels nice. She wishes she had a heart so John would know that life flows in her body as well. All she has is a rudimentary pulmonary system, sufficient for distributing nutrients and nanites to maintain or repair her flesh when damaged. It doesn't produce a heart beat. Tears begin to run from her eyes. It may not produce a heart beat, but it is stronger than John's heart.
Feeling a wetness on his shoulder, John turns his head and looks at Cameron. "What's wrong?" he asks sounding quite concerned as he sees the tears on her cheeks.
"I'm sorry John."
"What are you sorry about? You're not having regrets about what we just did, are you?"
"No regrets. I love you John. I've wanted this since almost the first day I met you."
"Then what are you crying for?"
"I lay my hand on your chest, and I can feel you breath and I can feel your heart beat." She says as she presses lightly on his chest with her hand.
"Now place your hand on my chest." John reaches over and places his left hand on her chest, between her breasts.
"What do you feel?" She asks him.
"I can feel the warmth of your skin, the softness of your flesh."
"Anything else?"
"No. Why?"
"If I were human, you would feel my heart beating, but under my flesh is an armor plate and below that, the fuel cell which powers my system. No heart beats within me."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm afraid John. I'm afraid of what the implications of our act of intimacy will be. You are John Connor. You lead the fight against Sky Net and it's machines. You are flesh and blood. If something were to happen to you now . . ."
"Nothing will happen to me, not while you are here." He says caressing her face.
"But what if I go bad again. Would you be able to kill me after what we've done?"
"I don't know. I love you. I couldn't go on without you. I need you."
"I love you too. That's why I want you to promise me that if I ever go bad, or if you ever have doubts about being safe with me, you will deactivate me. Destroy me if necessary."
"Cam, I couldn't . . ."
"If you love me, promise me." She says pleading in her own small voice.
John looks in her lovely brown eyes and knows there is only one answer he can give. "I promise." He says sounding slightly grieved at the prospect of having to kill the girl he loves.
"John."
"Yes, Cam?"
"Make love to me again."
Without any further encouragement, John begins kissing her and running his hands over her smooth body. She returns his actions with her own. Running her hands down his back, kissing the nape of his neck, and nibbling his ear.
**
On the other side of Los Angeles, Sarah and Derek are driving through the early morning city heading for home.
Derek is presently talking with someone on his cell phone. Sarah can only hear his side of the conversation.
"What's going on? ... Uh huh, okay... Where are you? ... No. I can be there... Uh, huh. See you soon. ... What? ... Yeah, me too. Bye."
"Who was that?" Sarah asks as Derek slides his cell phone into his pocket.
"A friend." Derek says smartly.
"Is that the friend who has been keeping you away from our mission?"
"You said you weren't going to ask. You can let me out at the next light."
"Derek. You need to stay in this. We need your help to recover the Turk and stop Judgment Day."
Sarah pulls up to the curb at the next light.
"When you get home, you tell that to John. He needs to get his head in the game." Derek gets out of the truck and turns to face Sarah without closing the door.
"John's a good kid, but right now he's too wrapped up in this life. As glad as I am he has a girlfriend, he needs to refocus his life on our mission. I love him and someday he will be my commanding officer. But until he decides to stop being John Baum and start being John Connor, there isn't much I can do to help you."
He closes the door and Sarah opens the window. "When will you be back?"
"I don't know. Sometime tomorrow, maybe. I'll call." He says and walks off down the sidewalk.
Sarah continues to drive through the dark night down the city streets of Los Angeles, alone with her thoughts. Derek is right. Their life right now is too normal. They need to make a fresh start soon. If they can't find the Turk, then they need to start preparing for the end. She won't mention it for a few days, she'll see where this new lead will take them first.
She reaches her home and drives slowly down the gravel drive. The gravel crunches under the wheels. Sarah pulls up behind her SUV, the headlights briefly lighting the interior of the garage. She sees something move inside through the windows.
Turning off the truck. She steps out quietly, trying not to make too much noise on the gravel.
Sarah edges closer to the vehicles where the gravel is more tamped down and less likely to make noise. Getting closer to the garage she pulls her Glock from her waistband. She squats next to the door listening. She can definitely hear quiet movement inside.
Sarah listens carefully, trying to judge exactly where the person is she saw move past the window. With a quick move she kicks the door in and leaps to the side grabbing the person and throwing them against the wall where they hit with a cry of pain and then falls to the ground.
Sarah stands over the person, pointing her gun at them, and flips on the light.
It is the last person she expected to see.
**
Cameron doesn't sleep. She is either fully on, or in stand-by-mode. The latter is nothing like sleeping. She is just off unless triggered to become fully on based on any set of parameters that could be assigned.
She lays next to John on her bed. She's never experienced laying in a bed either. At least not like this. Cameron went in and laid next to John on his tiny twin bed to talk with him one time, but this is much nicer. For now they are together.
The warmth of John's body next her makes her happy. The warmth she feels inside after having sex with John is a whole different level of happiness.
Cameron never knew what having sex would be like. She was programmed for so much but nothing could have prepared her for how her system reacted. Subroutines in her programming activated that had been dormant since she was built. Sensory input went into overload, power was rerouted to servo's and circuits she wasn't even aware of having before. Her system went through an emergency reboot on three different occasions from being overwhelmed with all the data from her sensors. She didn't understand what her system experienced, but it didn't cause any permanent damage.
She smiles contentedly as she recalls with perfect clarity all that they did.
Her quiet contemplation is disturbed when she hears the gravel in the driveway crunch from a vehicle pulling into the drive.
Cameron slips out from under the covers and walks naked across the hallway into John's room where she can look down into the driveway.
The Ram is just coming to a stop. Cameron quickly returns to her room.
Cameron gently shakes John's shoulder.
"John. John." She calls out to him.
He sleepily answers. "Hey Cam. Is it time for school?"
"Your mom is home." She says very firmly.
"That's nice." He says and rolls over.
Cameron frowns and is contemplating yanking him out of the bed when John suddenly sits up.
"Oh shit!" John shouts and jumps out of the bed.
"Is she in the house yet?" He asks as he begins pulling on his shorts.
"No. She's just pulled into the drive." She responds then adds. "That's odd, it takes her less than 6.3 seconds to get into the house most times. It's already been 8.4 seconds. Something might be wrong."
"What's wrong is, you are still standing there completely naked, while I'm half dressed. If you think Mom went ballistic when you walked around in your underwear, she'll hit the roof if she walks in and finds you naked. Let alone finds me in your room with you naked."
Cameron begins pulling clothes out of her closet.
"Jo-ohn." Sarah's voice comes from downstairs.
John goes to Cameron's bedroom door and yells back. "Yeah mom."
"I need you downstairs, and get some clothes on. We have company."
"Alright, I'll be right down." He yells, a sheepish grin on his face.
He turns to face Cameron and she has just finished putting on her underwear. It's the matching pink set with the purple dots.
He walks up to her and gently places his hands on her shoulders. "Don't tell Mom about tonight. You know how she is."
"I won't. I promise." She responds, looking at him with her wide brown eyes.
"What is it?" John asks, knowing by that expression she has something on her mind.
"You won't forget your promise, will you?" She asks with gentle worry lines clouding an otherwise perfect face.
John kisses her lightly on the lips. "No, I won't forget. Give me a moment then join me downstairs. Then we'll both see what it is mom wants."
"Jo-ohn, are you coming or do I have to drag you out of your bed?" Sarah's voice comes up the stairs.
John quickly pulls on his trousers and t-shirt and leaves Cameron's room in his bare feet.
"Gee mom. What's the problem?" He asks, as he goes down the stairs. His mom is waiting for him at the foot of the stairs.
"It's almost 3AM. I don't have to be awake for another three hours." John complains bitterly.
"I'll tell you what the problem is." Sarah escorts her son to the kitchen.
Riley is sitting at the kitchen table with a green duffel bag at her feet.
"Riley? What are you doing here?" John asks with surprise.
"Funny. That's the same thing I asked her. She said she'd only tell you. You've got five minutes and then I'm calling her foster parents." She says as she begins to walk to the living room.
Riley quickly stands up. "No wait! Ms. Connor don't."
Both John and Sarah couldn't look more surprised to hear their proper last name used.
Sarah turns back and pulls her gun out from her waistband and points it at Riley. "Just who the hell are you girl?"
Cameron appears at her side, fully dressed. "She is a threat to John."
"For once, I'm in agreement with you." Sarah responds. Her gun not wavering from it's objective.
"Are you ready to tell us the truth now?" Cameron says directing the question at Riley.
Riley looks at John. Fear in her eyes and tears on her cheeks. "John?" She pleads.
"I think you'd better start talking." John says standing firm.
Author's Notes: I'm making slow but steady progress with my writing. I've continued to work on "Reunion" and "What Are Dreams?" simultaneously. I keep switching between the two as I've found that's the answer to my writer's block by working on two stories. I'm doing all this while transitioning to Linux on my primary computer. Still a long way's to go to make it a productive PC.
I will be posting the next chapter to "Reunion" some time soon.
Let me know what you think of this new chapter to "What Are Dreams?". - - The1Russter 11-16-2009