Bloody hell. Bloody shitting hell. I set a target, and you guys go 'I see your 30 reviews, and raise you 50.' You're good, I'll give you that.
Same applies as before; lots of reviews and the next chapter will be up by 15 March. :)
Get on with the reading, then! I see you shiver, with ant-ic-ip....ation!
It was almost thirty minutes before the food fight began to wind down, due to a mixture of threats by the teachers and a distinct lack of food. In the midst of the aftermath, McGonagall seemed torn between unstoppable anger and thinly veiled curiosity as to how one of the students had charmed cream to seemingly drip off the stars, interspersed with accusing glares at the two conscious marauders. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, there was no direct evidence which indicated their guilt ('which is bloody good, because for once in our lives we're not actually guilty!' 'Pads, yelling isn't going to help matters') so with one final sharp glance, McGonagall sent them on their way to the Hospital Wing, an unconscious Peter in tow.
"Eh, he'll be fine. One two many custard tarts to the head." Sirius stated as he levitated Peter's body down the empty corridors.
"That and about fourteen awry spells. He has a nose where his ear should be, Sirius."
"Bloody impressive wandwork." Sirius grinned at Remus, lack of attention making Peter's body float awry, head banging against a wall.
"Pads!"
"Oh don't worry, there's nothing in there to damage." Sirius grinned, paying more attention to Peter's path once more. "Impressive work with the cream on the stars, Moony."
"Why thank you, Padfoot." Remus grinned, reaching over absentmindedly and wiping some cake off Sirius' brow. Sirius jumped at the touch, looking over at Remus with wide eyes as Remus licked the remnants off his finger.
"You had some cake..."
"Right." Sirius muttered, quickly preventing Peter from hitting another wall before they entered the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey immediately hurried over, fussing over the unconscious marauder whilst asking as many questions as possible to the two conscious members of the group. After she finished grilling them and focussed solely on Peter, Remus sat down in one of the old battered chairs.
"I'll hold up fort here. You head back to the Dorms, an unconscious Peter only demands the attention of one Marauder." Remus grinned, waving Sirius away.
"I could stay with you, if you want?"
"Please don't." Pomfrey interspersed, moving Peter's nose back across his face. "The last thing I need is Sirius Black in my hair all evening..."
"You've got CoMC early tomorrow, don't worry about it. Besides, you're covered in food." Remus answered sensibly with a smile. Looking down, Sirius couldn't deny the truth.
"I suppose I am. Night, Moony. Mme Pomfrey, may your evening be as sweet as you are." Sirius stated, grabbing her hand and bestowing upon it a light kiss, before hurrying out of the room.
"Don't think your tomfoolery will soften me, Black!" Pomfrey called after his receding form, before looking at her hand with a fond smile.
Remus closed the door to the hospital wing behind him as quietly as possible. Pomfrey had patched Peter up to the best of her abilities, but it appeared he'd need at least two nights in the hospital wing to make sure everything was where it should be.
The walk to the Gryffindor common room was, therefore, a quiet one. Trailing through the castle, he eventually reached the imposing portrait of the fat lady, and after muttering the password 'pumpkin dreams' he entered, a barrage of laughter hitting him almost as soon as he entered the room. Glancing over instinctively to where James and Sirius usually sat,
he spotted the group of joyous students, all hanging on (a freshly cleaned) Sirius' every word, and James' occasional interruption.
"-and then, this barmaid says to me 'But Sirius, if that's your penis then what was the - Oi! Remus!' Sirius grinned, trying to push one of the girls off his lap and make some space on the sofa for his friend.
"Don't worry, Sirius, I'm going to get an early night." Remus grinned outwardly, inwardly wincing as he watched an incredibly beautiful man whisper something in Sirius' ear.
"You sure?" Sirius asked, brows raised.
"Sure as sure can be." Remus muttered, walking stiffly up the boy's staircase, stopping when he was meters from their dorm as the group downstairs erupted in laughter. Standing in the darkness for a moment, he closed his eyes, breathing for a moment. "Lets just go to sleep, I can worry about it in the morning." He whispered to himself, blanking his mind and heading to bed.
Remus sat crosslegged on the window ledge in the Gryffindor dormitory, looking over at where the CoMC group was heading back towards the castle. Of the marauders, only Sirius and Peter were studying the subject; Remus' furry little problem meant most of the animals were terrified of him, and James had decided to study Muggle Studies, in the hopes of picking up some tips for wooing Lily.
Naturally, a large group had formed around Sirius, vying for his attention, for him to grant them one smile, wink or nudge. The group moved as one, all heading across the grounds exceedingly slowly, listening to Sirius' ramblings with such attention that one would think they were listening to the words of a genius.
And here lay one of the main reasons Remus had never acted upon his feelings towards Sirius Black. The reason that had been eating away at him all night, the reason he couldn't catch a wink of sleep.
Sirius Black was perfect. Utterly, frustratingly perfect. He could smile at any man, woman or sheep in England and make them swoon. He had the choice of anyone in the world, from the Queen to Freddy Mercury.
Why should a man of such perfection, a man who could choose from the creme of society, choose a scarred, poor werewolf? It was the first time since the bet had begun that Remus had a chance to consider his previous fears, and the more his mind thought, the more he realised how utterly idiotic he was.
"Alright? You've got a face like a ruptured pumpkin." Remus glanced over his shoulder, spotting James leaning against the doorframe with a light smile.
"James, I've had enough." Remus sighed from the windowsill, looking over the grounds. "I've got to stop trying with Sirius, this isn't going to happen and I can't keep trying to force it or I'll push him away as a friend. Even if I do get him, I won't keep him for long..."
"Rem, you can't give up now. You know the consequences." James reminded lightly, walking over to the window and sitting next to his friend. The small bay window was cramped but not uncomfortably so as James looked out, catching a glance of Sirius laughing and gesturing wildly to the girls who followed his every move as he returned from Care of Magical Creatures.
"I don't care. I'd rather my looks suffered for a week or two than damage my friendship with Sirius permanently." Remus stated, looking down at the group. "Look what he could have! Look at all of them. Girls, boys, all of them. And there's a good few down there that can offer him a lot more than I could in every department; they're more attractive, more intelligent, funnier, richer..."
"Remus. Mate. I'm Sirius' best friend, trust me when I say I wouldn't let him date a complete ugly loser." Remus cracked a small smile at this, "And Sirius couldn't give two hoots about how much money you have. Honestly. The absolute, total worst thing that could happen is that he doesn't like you back - which I doubt - in which case, knowing Sirius, he'll spend the rest of the year trying to set you up with fit gay men. Win win."
"You're not meant to be so nice about this. You're meant to be rubbing in the fact my mission to get Sirius is hopeless..." Remus grumbled, crossing his arms sullenly as James threw an arm across his shoulder.
"Just because I want to beat you doesn't mean I don't want you to reach your goal in the end too, you idiot." James grinned, ruffling Remus' hair. "Besides, I already know exactly how its going to go. You see, you and Sirius will get together after a drunken fumble in McGonagall's office in about 6 months time. You will have some good, happy years together alone, before one of your new age flu potions goes wrong due to you putting too much sperm in it, and several mini Remuses and Siriuses are produced. I shall, of course, be God Father to every single one of the little buggers. Again, you will have a good few happy years like this, before Sirius gets inexplicably jealous of your furry little problem. At this point, he will go out of his way to be as interesting as you; getting himself bitten by a vampire, transformed into a banshee, hell, he might even sew his torso to the body of a horse in an attempt to become a centaur. Shortly after this, he will eat PETE, which will annoy you as, despite his bad habits, you're actually quite fond of Pete. It is at this point, in approximately 17 and a half years, that your relationship shall crumble. You'll go insane with grief, Sirius will go insane out of jealousy towards your own insanity, and I will become guardian to your 14 children, who shall form the James Potter Quidditch team." James stated this with such certainty that Remus was wholly unable to react in any way for a good few moments.
Eventually, Remus laughed nervously, leaning back for a second and looking out of the window. "Where'd Sirius go?" He asked, brow crumpling.
"Is he not down there?" James leant over Remus, own brow furrowing as his trained eyes tried to find his friend. "He's probably just found a hiding place from his 'adoring masses'." James stated, placing a hand against the window to steady himself. The sound of a door opening made him jump, legs tangling with Remus' as he turned to face the room's new occupant.
"Oh." Sirius stood in the doorway, looking oddly at James and Remus. The two remained stationary for a moment, before realising the intimacy of their position. Faces inches from one another, legs entangled, and James' hands either side of Remus's head, there was only one way this could look.
Remus pushed James away as James struggled to stand, both of them tumbling onto the hard wood floor loudly as Sirius stood motionless in the door, mouth set in a cold, firm line of anger.
"Don't feel you have to stop on my account." Sirius stated coldly, quickly moving to his bed, dumping his books on his trunk and moving towards the door once more.
"This isn't how it looks, Padfoot." James replied anxiously, running a hand through his messy hair from his position on the floor.
"I think its exactly how it looks." Sirius stated, smiling icily at both of them. "I hope you're very happy together." With a swish of his cloak, he left, door slamming harshly behind him.
Remus flinched as the door rattled, leaning back against the cold wooden wall limply.
"Bugger."
"I doubt there'll be any buggery any time soon." Remus stated bluntly, leaning forward to rest on his knees. "I'm an idiot."
"No you're not." James answered instinctively, reclining on the floor tiredly. "Pads just... misunderstood... the situation."
"Right." Remus' smile didn't reach his eyes, and James frowned briefly, before grinning once more.
"You know, we should just cut out the middle men and kiss each other. Looks like that'd be the only action we'd get at the moment." James stated with a smirk, winking at Remus. The smile seemed to go a bit deeper, still no-where near the normal 'Remus smile', but at least a bit more alive.
"You're an idiot."
"A horny idiot." James joked, rolling forward onto his knees. "It'll be fun, I'll pretend you have red hair and tits, and you can pretend I have a cock! I already have the black hair!"
Remus leant forward rapidly, staring intensely into James' eyes. James swallowed soundly, watching nervously as Remus crawled towards him, stopping inches from his lips.
"You really need to get laid, you dunce." Remus smirked, before leaning away with a tired grin and a sigh. "Well, now that Sirius thinks I'm shagging his best friend, my chances of winning the bet are screwed."
"I'm really, really sorry, Rem." James had the decency to look very guilty, clasping Remus' shoulder supportively. "He'll get over it eventually, honestly. Promise."
Remus scoffed lightly. "Not likely. He'll probably run off with the Queen or David Bowie or someone..." Remus' shoulders dropped, and he pulled himself up, offering James a hand. "I should just aim for a more realistic boyfriend, someone in my catchment area... I don't know, Snape or something..."
"You're out of Snivelly's league, mate. You're the Irish Quidditch team and he's the bloody Maldives, and you know how shit they are after that game me and Sirius dragged you to." James jested lightly, accepting the offered hand and climbing up, before going to sit on his bed. "Men will throw themselves at you."
"Oh yes, the dating scene is crying out for a skinny gay werewolf." Remus scoffed, heading for the door. "I'm going for a walk. See you later."
James sighed, watching as the door shut quietly behind the solemn figure. Cracking his knuckles anxiously, James stood, running his hands through his hair once before steeling himself for what was to come.
"This is going to hurt."
OOH! What's going to hurt? Hmmm? Only one way to find out...