Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or its characters. They're all property of Alliance Atlantis, CBS Paramount and Anthony Zuiker.

A/N: I could give a hundred excuses about why it took so long to post this chapter especially since it was written almost 2 months ago, but I'm sure you probably just want to get onto the story. So here you go….the fifth postcard from our favorite couple.

There it hung in the northern sky like it had for millions of years in the past and probably would for another million or so years. The bright lights of the Vegas Strip several blocks away washed it out but could never completely obliterate the starlight that had traveled trillions of miles through vast, cold space. The North Star. Always there. Never changing.

Unlike everything else around him.

Some days he felt like that star up there in the sky. All around him, the world was changing. People were changing, moving on with their lives. Yet, he was still the same. It was an odd juxtaposition that he found himself in. On one hand, he still felt much like that know-it-all greenhorn from Texas who had pulled into Vegas in his beat-up old Ford Ranger over a decade ago – still single, still unsettled, still leading a bachelor's life. But on the other hand, he felt old beyond his nearly forty years on this planet – weary, a little distrustful, perhaps a little wiser but most definitely older.

Maybe it was time to move on. Others had. Hell, even Grissom had. The one person who had seemed more constant and more stationary than the damn stars in the sky had moved on.

What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he move on? Why couldn't he find peace? Or at least find that one woman who could make it all seem worthwhile?

In the end, even Sara and Grissom had made it work. Sure, they had to first quit their jobs, give up their careers and leave Vegas before they could make it work. But eventually they had and that was what is important. They took the risks and ultimately reaped the benefits.

Maybe that was his problem. Maybe it was time to just say to hell with it all, pull up stakes and move on. He doubted that he was making much of a difference here anyways. People were still murdering, raping and thieving, lying, cheating and stealing. In the end, he couldn't even save his best friend, his best bud, from the very people who were supposed to make the world a safer place.

His gaze shifted from the stars to the moon that was slowly rising above the Vegas skyline and his eyes glazed over. He couldn't look at the moon anymore. Not without thinking of Grissom. It would always be a reminder of the last case they had worked together and everything that had led up to the fateful moment.

He missed those days. He missed having Grissom there in the lab mentoring and guiding him and Sara teasing him and laughing with him and the subtle competition that he had always had with her to be Grissom's favorite.

And Warrick. Over a year had already passed since Warrick….died – it was still so hard to say that word – yet every day he found himself wanting to talk to his best friend. To share some antidote or to run grab an In-N-Out burger together on their lunch break. To talk about the latest football scores and watch the Sunday afternoon games at one of their apartments.

Nick didn't know what to do anymore. This melancholy that had been hanging over him these last few weeks was affecting his whole outlook on life. Yet, he couldn't shake it. All around him life was changing. The moon, the stars, Vegas, his job – that was all the same. But it seemed like everyone in his life had moved on or was in a state of transition. It even looked like Greg had finally found someone. It seemed like only he was remaining the same….always the same.

For just one short moment, he wished everything would quit changing. Or better yet, go back to the way things were before Grissom left, before Warrick died, before Sara took off, before she was kidnapped, before Brass was shot and even before Walter Gordon changed his life forever by sticking him in that glass coffin. If he had to pinpoint a single moment in time when everything had started changing, it would be that precise instance when he had gained consciousness in that damn glass coffin. That's when everything changed. That's when his innocence was well and truly lost. With everything he witnessed in his job, who would have thought he could get anymore jaded. He was wrong. So very, very wrong. And Sara's kidnapping and Warrick's murder only proved how wrong he could be.

His gaze shifted from the night sky to the oversized postcard tightly clenched in his hand as he sat there on the curb in the back lot behind the lab – the same lot where Grissom and Sara had stayed up all night with a decaying pig; the same one where Sara and Warrick had tried to prove – or disprove – spontaneous human combustibility. As he stared at the glossy photo of a panda sitting in a tree chewing on a stalk of bamboo, he realized with a pang of regret that his grip had creased the smooth, shiny surface.

After a long solemn moment, he flipped it over and read for the countless time the familiar script of his former boss and mentor.

We arrived at the Wolong National Nature Reserve in southern China at the end of September. Sara has been keeping busy with the giant panda rescue organization established here at the reserve. Mere hours after our arrival, two orphaned cubs were brought into camp and Sara has become their primary caretaker. Because Nicky and Greggo (yes, she named them after Nick and Greg) need to feed every few hours, she has been keeping busy and grabbing sleep when she can. Meanwhile, I have begun my research with the Chlorophorus annularis or Bamboo Longhorned Beetle. A couple young entomology students from Peking University have been assisting. We may have discovered a reproductive mutation which could explain why the beetle population has exploded exponentially thus devastating the bamboo and impacting the giant pandas' primary food source. We are enjoying our time in research and conservation but often find our thoughts and our conversations turning to Vegas and the friends we have left behind. As Thoreau once stated, "Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes." Perhaps one day we will all get together again and the world will seem a little smaller for a while.

Grissom

In deep contemplation, Nick rubbed his thumb over the signature. He and Sara had exchanged a number of e-mails since Grissom had joined her in Costa Rica and had even talked on the phone a couple times. But this postcard – actually, all of the postcards they had sent – were different. They were more personal. They represented a physical connection to two people who had become such a huge part of his life. They were his extended family and being able to touch something that they had touched made them seem a little closer than halfway around the world. And by the sounds of it, he wasn't the only one missing their extended family.

He turned his gaze skywards once again. He really was hating change, especially the kinds of changes that took his friends and family away from him.

The metallic snick of a lock releasing and the squeak of the fire door swinging open interrupted the quiet solitude of the back parking lot.

He didn't bother acknowledging whoever it was that had come outside. If he kept quiet and still, perhaps they wouldn't notice him and would leave without bothering him.

As Catherine stood in the eerie orange halo cast by the security light hanging over the door, she glanced around searching for Nick.

Spotting him sitting on the curb in the shadows, she called out, "Hey, Nick, we've got another 419! Can you take it?"

When he didn't respond, she took note of his slumped shoulders and the air of despair wafting off him. Ever since he had returned from Texas and his grandmother's funeral nearly three weeks ago, she had noticed that he wasn't his same lively self. He was quiet and despondent. At first, she figured that was normal. After all, he had just lost his last living grandparent. That surely was reason enough to be down in the dumps, even depressed. But she was beginning to think there was more to Nick's mood than that alone.

Slowly, she walked over to him. She wasn't sure if he had heard her and she didn't want to startle him so bending over, she gently laid her hand upon his shoulder.

When he turned his head to meet her gaze, she asked, "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, sure," he responded monotonously before turning away to stare at the stars again.

A hesitant moment passed before Catherine checked that the curb wasn't too dirty then took a seat beside Nick.

She, too, then directed her eyes toward the sky before finally stating, "No, you're not."

Feeling his eyes upon her, she turned to meet his gaze.

"I can't fool you, can I?"

"No, you can't. I'm paid to notice these things."

When his lips quirked into a sad grin, she responded with one of her own.

They both turned back to their stargazing but not before Catherine noticed the postcard in Nick's hands.

After a long moment of silence, she quietly uttered, "I see you have that postcard again."

"Yeah."

"How many times have you read it already?"

"I don't know. Maybe a dozen or so."

Another long pause hung in the air.

"Do you miss them?" Nick asked while still looking skyward.

"Grissom and Sara? Oh, yeah. Every day."

"Even Sara?" he questioned with a hint of disbelief in his Texas drawl.

Taken back with the subtle implication of Nick's tone, Catherine turned to look at him. When he met her gaze, she replied, "Yes, even Sara. Why would you even ask such a thing?"

"I don't know," Nick responded with a shrug. "Just seemed like you two were always butting heads."

"Yeah, I suppose, we were. Guess we were both a little headstrong, never wanting to back down. But I admired her for that. When she believed in something, she fought for it tooth and nail, never gave up. No matter how much I may have disagreed with her sometimes, I had to respect her for that."

"Yeah, she was a feisty one," Nick replied with a chuckle. "After…you know, Natalie…it was hard to see her so broken."

"I don't think any of us, even Grissom, realized how bad it was."

"But we should have. We were her friends and we didn't even see how badly she was hurting." His sigh was deep and sorrowful. "After Sara left, I felt guilty. I was supposed to be one of her best friends and I wasn't there for her. So I tried to be there for Warrick and, well, that didn't work out so well and then Grissom left. I'm just so tired of everything changing. Seems everyone has left and I'm still stuck here."

"Hey, I'm still here!" Catherine protested.

"Thank goodness," Nick replied putting his arm her shoulders. "I don't think I could handle Greg on my own," he joked.

Their shared laughter lightened their mood for a moment before the heavy cloak of melancholy settled back around them. Catherine leaned over resting her head on Nick's shoulder.

"Seriously," Nick continued, "I like Ray and Riley but it's just not the same. We were like a family, you, me, Warrick, Sara and Greg and even Grissom. We went through so much together."

"We sure did."

A couple minutes passed as they each remembered both the good times and the bad.

A single, lone tear slipped down Catherine's cheek.

"I miss him so much," Catherine whispered.

Nick was fairly certain he knew who the 'him' was that Catherine was referring to but he had to be sure.

"Warrick?" he questioned softly.

A lump lodged in his throat when he heard her sniffle and then felt her head nod against his shoulder.

"That's understandable," he replied. "You two had a special relationship."

"Yes, we did." Then realizing what Nick had said, she pulled away from him. "What? Wait….how…uh?"

"Relax, Cath," he assured her as he pulled her back into his side. "He never said anything. It was just something that I picked up on after years of observing you two together. Some people just have a special connection. You and Warrick had it. Sara and Grissom certainly do. I think even Greg has it with Tammie. You are all so lucky to find someone like that. I'm still waiting."

"You will, Nick. Someday, you'll just be going around your daily business and there she will be."

"Yeah, well, I'm a little tired of waiting. All my sisters are married with families of their own. Same with all my friends from high school and college. Heck, some of them are even on to second marriages already." He was quiet for a moment as he contemplated his life a bit more. "You know what hit me when I was flying back from my grandma's funeral?"

"What's that?"

"I just moved up a generation. When my grandma died, that was it. There's no longer two generations ahead of me. Now, it's just my parents. They're now the older generation – the patriarch and the matriarch. They should be able to sit back, relax and just enjoy retirement and the grandkids. And since I'm the only boy in the family....I don't know. It just feels like I have more responsibility in the family now. You know what I mean? Like I have to be the strong one now ; the pillar; the one that everyone else can turn to in a crisis. I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of responsibility. Half the time I still feel like some snot-nosed kid fresh out of college who doesn't have a clue about how the real world works."

"Can I let you in on a secret, Nicky?"

"Sure."

"That's how I feel, too."

"Really? You?" he exclaimed disbelievingly. "You always seem so together!"

"Nah, it's just a front."

"You sure had me fooled."

"Darn! I shouldn't have said anything. I probably could've fooled for a little while longer."

Their shared laughter helped to lighten the mood temporarily.

Another minute or two passed before with a deep sigh, Catherine clapped Nick on the knee then stood up stretching. "As much as I would love to continue to contemplate the universe with you, we have a dead body waiting for us."

"Great," was his sarcastic response as he also rose from the curb.

Catherine entered the lab while Nick paused on the door's threshold looking back for one last glimpse of the North Star and one more glance at the moon. Feeling a bit silly, he made a wish. He wished that Sara and Grissom would look up some night, see the stars and the moon and think of him like he had thought of them this night. And that somewhere up there in the heavens above, Warrick was watching over all of them, wherever they may be in this vast world.

TBC

I'd love to hear what you think about this chapter and story so any reviews are greatly appreciated!