If I had to name the chapter it would be…

No the trouble in paradise isn't over (lol, I'm the abhorrently unoriginal one)

If you've been waiting for something for a long, long time – in this case, many years – you expect that, when you get it, you'll be uncontrollably happy for a while. Your hands might shake with excitement and your lips might curve into a smile. But most of all, you'd feel overwhelmingly satisfied. But this was not how Seimei felt. His hands didn't shake; they held on tightly to the back of his brother's head, almost hard enough to hurt him, but not quite. He was…sated, to put it simply. Not happy. Not happy because he could tell that his brother wasn't reciprocating his affection, for the moment at least. He was as stiff as a statue and seemed utterly petrified. His lips were not curved into a smile because they were busy pressing against another pair. He was just a little too comfortable with the situation to quit it just yet – but just a little.

Ritsuka's line of thought, however, was a bit different. He knew it was wrong. Those words chanted in his head like a mantra, over and over again until he was half mumbling it under his breath. It was muffled by Seimei's warm lips.

It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong – wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

A kiss on the lips like this was for girls. Boys kissed girls and that was that. But his brother was doing this to him – why? Did his brother forget he was a boy? No – of course not. Maybe the accident had shaken him up. Maybe he was scared, if he didn't show his younger sibling enough affection, that Ritsuka would go away again.

Then again, his brother was never confused. He only did what he wanted. This was what he wanted.

Seimei finally pulled away, his eyes darkened and hazy. His tail was lying contentedly on his lap, twitching ever so slightly. He reached around and rubbed Ritsuka's tail. Ritsuka shivered.

"Ritsuka…?"

Ritsuka didn't answer. He simply stared. Meanwhile, Seimei decided that he might as well go all the way. There was no going back now. He leaned forward and brushed his nose against Ritsuka's furry ear.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

A little hand came to lie on his shoulder; he thought, wrongly, that he was going to lean forward and kiss him. Ritsuka was just using him for support, since he was apparently losing strength.

"I don't want anyone but you. You don't need anyone else, Ritsuka."

"But-" Ritsuka whimpered nervously, "You're a boy, Seimei. And you're my brother. That's not…okay."

"It is okay, Ritsuka," Seimei purred, kissing the wrist close to his face. He'd charmed people before, but never for a purpose other than to lure them into a trap. "As long as we love each other, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks."

The hand on his shoulder gripped much, much harder. It almost hurt except that Seimei had little to no affinity to pain. He could hardly feel it. Ritsuka's chest was heaving and Seimei could almost hear his little heart pumping madly.

"But I…I can't."

"You said you wanted to make me happy." He was…nervous now. Not so sure of himself anymore.

"I do. But this is…I can't," he repeated, his voice promising an onslaught of tears. Seimei waited for him to finish. "All my friends have girlfriends. I want that too. I want Seimei to be my brother, not…" he trailed off, eyes watering.

"Not your lover?" he hissed. His head was pounding as though an animal was trying to claw its way out. And, in a way, that was exactly what was going on.

"I- I guess. Seimei…please…?" he nearly begged. He just wasn't sure what he was begging for. For forgiveness, maybe.

Seimei stayed silent. He was staring at Ritsuka but was seeing right through him, and Ritsuka was starting to feel scared. He was sure he could feel Seimei's body temperature dropping under his very fingers as if he was literally turning to ice. But all Ritsuka wanted…he wanted his big brother. Not his big brother who did dirty things with him. But he knew the big brother was gone, and he wouldn't come back. He was the one who'd pushed him so much. This was all his fault.

"I gotta – I gotta go. I'll go to a friend's house…I'm…you're scaring me Seimei." Silence. "I…I'll be home tomorrow. I'm sorry."

Feeling awkward around the stiff, cold body, Ritsuka braced his courage and gave it a small hug before turning in the direction of the door. He was so sure that Seimei would remain sitting that he didn't hear – albeit the man was awfully silent – or see the elder Aoyagi boy get up and follow him. He didn't see Seimei's eyes, which would have alerted him to the non-presence of his brother in that body. No. Seimei was gone for the moment.

He started to scream when a pair of surprisingly strong hands grabbed him around his midsection and lifted him, but a hand was quickly crushed against his mouth and no sound left his mouth. He knew it was Seimei; he could smell him and feel the familiar shape of his body. At first he wasn't completely terrified but when the hands gripping him tightened until he was crying, he knew something was going horribly wrong. His brother brought him up the stairs, into his room and dropped him onto the bed he'd slept in for the entirety of his childhood. He bounced a bit before the cold body pinned him down easily. It wasn't much use struggling: Seimei was much stronger. They both knew that. He was crying now, not caring that it was unmanly and weak to do so. He was searching desperately in his brother's violet eyes for any sign of the boy he'd known his entire life. There was none.

As for Seimei, well…he wasn't quite himself. He just felt so numb, so jaded, that he didn't even try to stop his body when it dragged his little brother upstairs and pinned him to the bed. He'd never felt emotional pain, and it crossed his mind that he might not be equipped for it. He couldn't handle pain. Instead, he wanted to hurt the one who hurt even more. His consciousness was protecting itself by retracting until he was healed. So, when Ritsuka was properly stilled, he tore his shirt off relatively easily, his adrenaline-fueled body making quick work of it. The skin underneath was as warm as an over and sweaty with panic. He decided to imagine it was in excitement. He rubbed the pale skin gently at first, happy to be able to touch it sexually for the first time. His brother squirmed when he brushed against his navel. He did it again just to see him squirm once more. He bent down and sunk his teeth into the soft skin of the younger boy's neck, not stopping until something wet encircled his teeth and met his tongue. Blood. Ritsuka was rigid with pain. His brother had never hurt him before. His heart hurt nearly as much as the break in his skin.

When Seimei was done fascinating over his neck, one of his hands went down to pull at the button on his pants. Ritsuka didn't know much about sex, to tell the truth, but he knew enough to tell that this was looking a lot like rape. Rape was bad. He shut his eyes and prayed anything that was listening to stop this. To have Seimei snap out of his daze. When his pants were tugged down violently, he knew that praying was useless and this would happen whether he wanted it to or not. The hand rubbed the skin of his ankle for a while, the body standing over Ritsuka, watching him with an odd look in his eyes.

"Seimei? Ritsuka? Are you here?" It was Misaki. Ritsuka felt hope blossom in his heart – his mother would save him!

Seimei did nothing for a few seconds. Then he turned his head to look at the door, his eyes scarily empty.

"We're busy. Go away."

They heard her shuffle outside the room as if wondering if she should go in. She decided against it. She left. Ritsuka cried. His tears mingled with the blood seeping out of the bite in his neck.

Seimei turned back to him, albeit very slowly. His brain was working horribly, as if suddenly rusted. Thinking was slow. Talking was slow. Processing was slow. He was ignoring all of Ritsuka's reactions to save him some time. He hand moved up the lean leg and he concentrated on the soft skin under the pads of his fingers. He'd touched it before but in this context it excited him. His pants were tight enough for him to take notice of him and briefly consider undoing them. He opted to wait a bit. He dug his fingers into a pale thigh, watching his nails leave red lines. Someone was whimpering. He ignored it. He then noticed, while inspecting the area between Ritsuka's legs, that Ritsuka wasn't excited – at all. He finally met his brother's eyes and saw tears in them; fat, sad, salty tears. He leaned forward and licked the tears staining the red cheeks. What he meant was:

Don't cry. It's okay. Enjoy.

Ritsuka was just a little bit more freaked out. Seimei would never lick anything or anyone, because it was just filthy. He would never bite or allow someone's blood to hit his tongue. He was scared to never find his big brother ever again even more than he was scared of being violated. He was nowhere near a state in which he'd start getting hard.

Seimei decided to skip a few steps because he was very excited, seeing that body after so many years of waiting, and wanted to come – now. He flipped his brother over without breaking a sweat and reached over to pick up the boy's shirt. He tied it around his face so he wouldn't scream if he so felt the need. He didn't need his mother poking around like a dog. He reached down between his brother's legs and, too lazy at the time to bother hunting down lubricant or lotion, easing three fingers in quickly. Ritsuka went stiff, eyes wide, fighting against the intrusion. Thankfully, his brother had been too distracted when tying the shirt and it felt loose. But he didn't scream like one might expect him too. Instead he moved his face so the bed wouldn't smother his words and turned to meet his brother's eyes. The fingers inside him stilled.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry, Seimei," he hiccupped, "Come back, big bro…ther. I'll love you forever if you want…"

He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing or how he was feeling. He wanted Seimei back – the real one. Now that he was gone, he felt…empty. Maybe it was more than brotherly love or maybe it was just desperation. Whatever the reason, it appeared to work. Seimei blinked several times, staring blankly at Ritsuka's face. The hand on his lower back seemed to warm up considerably. After a few minutes, three fingers slipped out of him and he whimpered at the sudden feeling. Both hands moved off him and he saw, with the use of his peripheral vision, that Seimei was picking up Ritsuka's pants and shirt. His hair was hiding his face. He then sat back up and lay the clothes next to his brother and sat still, silent.

Ritsuka got dressed in a corner of the bed, wincing at the sore feeling coming from his backside. He was watching his brother's back intently, drying his tears with the sleeves of his black shirt. His neck was sore but he ignored it and inched towards his brother slowly, his heart thundering madly. He wanted to reach out and touch one of his shoulders but he was too scared to do so. Instead he stood very near him, shaking involuntarily.

"You're scared of me," Seimei rumbled. He sounded tired and old. He had never talked in that manner with anyone before, but Ritsuka was just happy to hear Seimei talk.

"I'm…I love you."

Seimei turned; he was frowning, but not in anger. He had set his hair back in place before he'd picked up the clothes. Ritsuka almost cried in relief at that.

"I tried to rape you, Ritsuka," he snapped, angry. But it wasn't directed at the smaller boy and so Ritsuka didn't flinch.

"Not you. Something else."

Seimei felt like his whole body was made of lead and there was a high-pitched ringing in his head. He wanted to hold his brother against his chest and hold him there for hours and hours. He had wanted to show Ritsuka how much he loved him. Instead, he had tried to rape him. He'd never felt so much in his life; he'd always been in control of everything, and if someone didn't act as he please he manipulated him until he did. But Ritsuka held a kind of control over him that no one else ever would. It was dangerous.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when two arms wrapped around his waist and a small face pressed against his back. He heard Ritsuka sniffle and felt his shake.

"Why aren't you running away?" he growled.

"I want to stay here with Seimei. Seimei'll protect me," mumbled the boy attached to his side.

Why aren't you terrified of me?

"I couldn't protect you. I hurt you."

"But you're here now," Ritsuka protested.

And then he did something that, fifteen minutes ago, he would have gagged at the idea of ever doing. He let go of Seimei's waist and sat up so they were at a somewhat equal level. Seimei thought he was going to walk off, but instead he leaned closer and, catching his brother completely off guard, pressed their lips together very chastely. He wasn't sure what he was doing or even if he quite wanted it. He hoped Seimei was satisfied.

"…I have to go, Ritsuka."

"Why?" Ritsuka snapped. Couldn't Seimei see that he just wanted his brother to comfort him?

"I'll be back tomorrow, I promise. Sleep."

Before Ritsuka could argue, the smaller boy was pushed down onto the bed and kissed on the temple. And then, as fast as the wind, Seimei was gone, leaving behind only his clean but distinctive smell and a wet feeling on his temple.

He was alone again.

A/N: Other cliffhanger…no, half-cliffhanger.

Yeah…don't be mad at me for the partial rape thing. Romance is just so much better with a bit of angst. Besides, he didn't go through with it, yeah? Oh…I'm a sucker for happy, fluffy endings so don't sweat it. I don't THINK this'll end unhappily…(shit this is turning into a story isn't it?).

I just want to make sure you all understand that Seimei had like a bit of a split personality thing, except that the other 'him' isn't really a personality. It's a lot like an animal. It acts upon instinct, mainly, and it shows up whenever Seimei gets hurt. Yes I made this up. Although it was speculated and highly hinted that he did had a personality disorder, I'm just adding to it.