A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry the last chapter wasn't as good as the first! The thing was, I was rapidly running out of ideas! I only have a few for Smithers I'm afraid, however, to make up for my recent failure, I'm going to write a short (Possibly funny) story about Yassen and an annoying man called Jeeves. Enjoy!

Things not to do in front of: Smithers

1) DO NOT steal his car, go too fast past a speed camera, then use his built in homing missiles to avoid a speeding fine.

2) DO NOT follow him around singing: 'Da da da da da da inspector gadget!'

3) DO NOT say: "Smithers, your inflatable suit has activated itself. Oh, my bad, it's not your suit, it's your fat."

Yeah… that was it I'm afraid. Sorry. But on with the story! I'll try to make this funny (which means it probably wont be) and I'll try to include your favourite; Things not to do around: Yassen. This is going to be my first story so… hope you enjoy!

The many suicide attempts of: Jeeves, the annoying man.

It was two o'clock in the morning, Jeeves was creeping silently around the house. His mentor, Yassen Gregorovich was surely still asleep. What Jeeves was about to do, was probably suicide. He silently opened the door to his mentor's bedroom. The room was dark, with only a hint of moon light seeping in through the parting in the curtains. To his relief Yassen was sleeping soundly. He spied the phone on the bedside table and grinned to himself. Swiftly, he edged over to the phone, snatching it up one fluent hand movement. Then he turned and backed out of the room, hopefully unnoticed. Jeeves slowly shut the door the sprinted down the corridor. He flipped up the lid of the phone and the light stung his eyes, but this did not put him off his intentions. He pressed a silver button, the screen flickered and a menu came up. Jeeves selected 'Settings'. He scanned his eyes up and down the screen, setting his gaze on 'Call settings'. He pressed down, the screen flickered and changed again. His eyes met several options:

Caller ID

New contact

Ring tone

Your number

Call volume

With a smirk, Jeeves settled with 'Ring tone'. He flicked through the many ring tones on Yassen's phone. "Cow bell, maracas, man falling off of cliff…" Jeeves muttered to himself, reading the titles of the tunes. With an evil grin, Jeeves spied the last tune on the list: Banana phone. Quickly, Jeeves' independent mind hatched a morbid plan. He couldn't help himself, it just had to be done.

Stealthily, Jeeves returned the phone to Yassen's bedside table. He crept back to his own room, opened his drawer and rifled through it's contents: Milky bar wrappers, a pack of non-toxic crayons, a vial of poison, three throwing knives… "Ooh, so that's where my chewee bar I opened three months ago got to!" He said in surprise, he picked it up and took a bite. "Hmm… Tastes like sprouts and pineapple… considering it was meant to be caramel… Hang on, why is there blue fur on it? Ah well, it must add to the flavour and nutritional value!" He nodded to himself, before taking another swift bite. Eventually he found his own phone. He turned it on, brushing the fluff and dust off of it's screen. He went straight to the contacts menu and searched for Yassen's number. After praying to God and writing his will, Jeeves pressed call.

From down the corridor, Jeeves could hear: "Ring, ring, ring, ring, BANANA PHONE!" Followed by: "JEEVES!" In a harsh, angry voice.

Jeeves snorted to himself. He collapsed backwards onto his bed in floods of laughter. His chewed chewee bar dropped out of his mouth and stuck itself into the carpet of Jeeves' room. Suddenly the door was torn open. Yassen burst in a gun fixed firmly in his hand, Jeeves was annoyed Yassen still had his emotionless mask on, he wanted to see the man turn tomato red with steam fuming out of his ears. Like the Hogwarts express. Yassen slammed Jeeves against the wall, he pressed the gun against his head. Jeeves started laughing. "What's so funny?" Yassen questioned his student. "Your, your gun!" Jeeves gasped in between fits of laughter. Suddenly Yassen jolted back, staring at his gun, however it was not a gun, it was a hot pink plastic water pistol, made in China. "Where is my gun?" Yassen demanded, for once Jeeves could hear a slight note of fury in his voice. "It's not polite to enter someone's room without knocking first." Jeeves said, a tone of satisfaction in his voice. A small flicker of annoyance appeared in Yassen's cold eyes. "It is also impolite to change someone's ring tone while they are asleep, to some annoying tune, then wake them up with it." Yassen replied blankly. "Yeah… still, could have been worse!" Jeeves piped. Yassen tilted his head to one side, Jeeves continued, "I could have set it off on the London underground."

Yassen's expression didn't change. He nodded slowly, then said "Damn you Jeeves. You'll be running thirty miles if you ever think about doing that from this point forward. Anyway, seeing as we are both awake, we may as well go downstairs for breakfast."

Jeeves nodded at Yassen, then followed him downstairs. "Yassen…" Jeeves said suddenly. Yassen paused. "What?" He sighed, "How do you give someone a Chinese burn?" Jeeves asked. Yassen turned to look at his student. He bit back an evil grin. "Come here, and I will show you… Give me your arm…"

It wasn't as short as it was meant to be, but never mind, hoped you liked it, I think it's kinda… not as good as it should be… sorta… I dunno. There MIGHT be more from Jeeves and Yassen, again I'm sorry about the second chapter. I would like to say a MASSIVE THANKYOU to all who reviewed, I liked hearing about what you enjoyed. Also, IGotObsessiveCullendisorder, thank you so much for the review on the second chapter. I had just literally put it on the site when you reviewed! Keep reviewing people!