note ;; Quick updates, yes? Its my off-day from work, which is why I'm writing so much. I'll have everyone know that writing this chapter made me giggle. I hope everyone else enjoys it as much as I did. I'll be making as many individual replies to reviews as possible, though sometimes reviews slip through my view. Sorry about that. I hope I keep the humor... No bus-man this chapter. I heart him too, but I had something else in mind for this chapter. ;) Now, its off to replying to reviews! Please enjoy this chapter.

note ii ;; As always, please let me know if your character is out of character. Again, this is my first time doing something like this.

chosen oc's ;; Laura McCarthy and Sofia Lynd

next chapter ;; More bus-man. Promise. ;D

"Kid, you know how to talk, don't you?"

"Mmm mmh," Kenny replies for the hundredth time.

"That's not talking. People don't want to read subtitles. Am I going to need a translator?" the Director asks.

Kenny sighs grumpily and pushes his hood off, revealing his messy mop of blonde hair. "Are you happy? I'm having a bad fucking hairday."

"Goddamnit, you too? There's a swearing quota on this show, believe it or not," the Director warns. "Get ready, you're up next."

"Bring on the pussy, I love it all," Kenny says eagerly, holding his hands out and moving them as if he's playing with boobs. "Oh, and tits. God, I love women."

The Director looks to the camera man, but can't possibly say anything. He came to South Park for home-grown morals and kids with a level head. He found more than he ever bargained for. He motions to the camera crew, slumping in his seat as the cameras start rolling.

Laura McCarthy saunters out of the Next! bus, charm bracelet clinking around her wrist as she strikes an elegant pose. Here, on the future television screen, it will no doubt say something along the lines of ; Laura McCarthy, 9 years old, Student, Aspires to be in a musical version of Desperate Housewives, Once dared her brother Lloyd to eat a bug.

But that is for another day.

She grins at the orange-clad boy before her, almost squealing in excitement. Her eyes wander from him, to the white jump suits, to him again. "What are we doing?" she asks curiously, barely able to contain her excitement.

"We're going to shoot each other. With paintballs," Kenny says. Seeing the look on her face, he shrugs. "I thought it was a stupid idea too, but they said it would be interesting."

"They?"

"That asshole over in the seat. Director, or whatever his name is."

"Oh..."

"Ready?" he asks.

"Sure!"

Kenny hands her a suit, then climbs into his own. He doesn't put the mask on, but instead lets it hang on his chest. He picks up a pistol-shaped paintball gun and motions for the girl to pick one up too. His gaze never, ever, leaves her chest.

"Kenny, my eyes are up here," she reminds him, pointing to her face.

"I know that," Kenny says casually, shrugging. "Ready to shoot me? Or would you rather let me shoot you?"

Laura blushes furiously, and quickly flips the mask up to cover her rosy red cheeks. "Maybe," she says in a rushed voice.

Kenny grins. "Ten seconds before we shoot," he warns. "Ready? Ten..."

The seconds tick by fast, and they're standing in opposite corners before the end. Kenny shouts Go! and the game is off. He waits until he hears the paintballs pinging the space around him before jumping up and nailing the girl straight in the center of the chest, spraying purple paint everywhere.

"Ow!" Laura yelps. She glares at Kenny, who comes up to her and shrugs apologetically.

"Gotta say, I like a girl with tits like yours, but I want a girl to roughhouse with too," he says. "Next."

"But Kenny..."

"Next!" he repeats. "Maybe next time."

Laura sighs and looks down, trudging back to the bus in silence. She isn't on the bus for two minutes before the next girl comes out. Long, loosely curly hair frames a pale face with a cigarette poking out of pale pink lips. Her black boots thud onto the steps, carrying her closer to her destination. Sofia Lynd pauses on the last step of the bus, taking the cigarette out of her mouth and blowing a stream of smoke. In television, this is the point the picture would still, and highlighted somewhere on the screen would be the following ; Sofia Lynd, 10 years old, Chainsmoker, Probably has kleptomania, Once scared the bejeezes out of Tweek while ordering coffee.

But at a much later time.

She strides up to Kenny, blowing smoke before dropping the butt of the cigarette on the ground. "Hello," she says formally.

Kenny narrows his eyes for a moment, but doesn't question it. He appreciates her curves and her hair, and there's not much else his ten year old mind can want, so he ignores it. "Hey," he says.

"So what are we doing?"

"Um... paintball."

"Isn't that what the last date was?"

Kenny shrugs. "I suppose. They didn't give me anything else."

"Typical."

"Yeah." Kenny tosses her a white jumpsuit, and she stares at it blankly. He thinks he's done something wrong until she laughs and drops it on the ground.

"Really?" she asks. "I'm not wearing that."

Kenny shrugs. "Suit yourself. If you want your Hot Topic clothes paint-stained, that's cool with me."

"They're not Hot Topic," she defends, narrowing her eyes.

"They will be paint stained," he points out.

"We'll see about that," Sofia muses, laughing to herself as she grabs the second paintgun. "I'll take you down," she says confidently.

Kenny scoffs. "Yeah, right," he says. "We have ten seconds to get situated before we can shoot each other."

"Better start the countdown, then," Sofia replies casually, observing her paintgun closely. "Ten... nine... eight..."

"Seven... six... five..."

The pair moves apart, each taking cover in different areas of the small paintball field. Kenny hides behind a white-tarped hay bale, and Sofia takes cover near a tractor tire.

"Three... two... one..."

"Go!" they shout in unison.

Kenny jumps up from behind the hay hale, firing three times before ducking down as Sofia pegs the bale where his face had been. He laughs and jumps out of his cover again, aiming precisely as he shoots. She fires at the same time, and he can't dodge as it hits him square in the chest. His paintball makes its mark over Sofia's left boob, and he makes a victorious gesture.

"Got you!" he shouts gleefully as he ducks behind a barrel.

"I got you too!" she retorts, hiding behind a stack of bricks.

"First one to three wins!"

"You're on!"

Kenny jumps out from behind the barrel, firing three shots at Sofia's position. He pauses when he doesn't see her come up, and he walks forward, holding the gun out carefully. Too late, he realizes she's moved position. Two paintballs peg him in the side and he nearly doubles over from the impact.

"Three," Sofia says, waltzing out from behind the hay bale.

"You're good," Kenny observes. "Do I get a kiss?"

Sofia laughs. "No, you lost."

"A cigarette then?"

Sofia stares at him, arching a slender eyebrow. "You think you can have my cigarette?"

"Mole gave me his all the time," Kenny says defensively. "The kid's a bad habit himself."

Sofia has a longing look on her face at the mention of Mole, and it is Kenny's turn to arch an eyebrow. However, she doesn't seem to notice as she tosses him a half-smoked cigarette. "You can light it yourself, yeah?"

"Um, no. I have no match."

"I'm nexting myself until Mole shows up," Sofia admits. "See you around, Kenny."

Left standing in the middle of the paintball field, Kenny stares at Sofia's retreating back. "What? Can she do that?" he demands of the Director.

"Yeah. She can do whatever she wants."

Kenny watches her disappear into the bus. Looking at his unlit cigarette, he tosses it to the ground. "Fuck!"