Hang On A Sec
Chapter Five – The Butler Did It
Gambit ran upstairs. For some reason, he did have a single deck in his trench coat. He looked in every pocket, twice!, but found not a single deck. Strangely enough, every pocket was damp, almost like he had put ice in them and then forgot. Opening the door to his room, Gambit barely suppressed a girly shriek. One of his bookcases was on the ground; his books were everywhere. A vase lay shattered – the roses he had given to Rogue dead from lack of water. Worse, the picture of him and Rogue lay facedown on the ground. That was the last straw. He was going to find whoever did it and given them hell.
What was that? Was that a breeze? Had he left the window open?
This time, Gambit did not succeed in suppressing his shriek.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh—" he hoped no one heard him.
There was an ice slide going out his window. An ice slide. The kind that whats-his-name, Iceboy, used. Bobby! That's it! And, judging by the horrible, rotten egg smell, the blue kid had been in there, too.
How on earth did they get in? How did they get the window open? Gambit crouched down on his knees to peer closely at the window. Ergh! His carpet was wet! The ice slide was melting on it. Wait, melting? Gambit looked closer at the slide. It occurred to him the slide wasn't thick enough to hold someone. It must have been melting a while! This break in couldn't have happened his morning? It had to have been last night when he was in Rogue's room. Even when they were on their date, perhaps! Oh, that Bobby was going to get it now. It would take days to get the water out of the carpet and then he'd still be stuck with the smell.
How on earth did they get in?
He peered closely at the windowsill. Was that a scorch mark? What had they done, set a firecracker off under his window? Hang on, firecracker? Firecracker? Jubilee?
H was going to blow those kids to bits. He reached into his pocket (ew, wet) to pull out a card. But, wait! That's why he came up here. He didn't have any cards in his pocket. Hadn't his jacket been in his room when he went out with Rogue the night before?
It was genius. He hated it, but it was genius. They had snuck into his room while he was on the sate. The must have taken the cards out of his trench coat. At least they didn't take anything from his extra stashes. Uh-oh. You can never be too sure.
Gambit stalked over to his bedside table. Opening the drawer, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that the decks were just as he'd left them. He grabbed one to shove into his pocket. Weird. Why was it so light? He opened the box. It was empty! Frantically, he took two more boxes. They were empty as well. He took another. Empty. He went through every box. Empty.
"BOBBY!"
No, this was not good. He couldn't go kill them like this. No one could see him out of control. He took a few deep, steadying breathes, and thundered downstairs. After all, it's creepier to be killed by a put-together man, than by a crazy one.
"Something wrong, sugah?" Rogue asked when he entered the dining hall.
Gambit was silent for a moment before answering.
"There was a melting ice slide going out my window," he said causally. "It was getting my carpet all wet."
"Is that why you ran upstairs?"
"No, I went up to—"
"Hold on just a sec," Logan cut in. "Why did you only just notice the ice? Didn't you notice it last night when you went to bed?"
"I would noticed it last night if I had slept in my room," Gambit said with a sly look at Rogue. She blushed under all her makeup.
"Whose room did you sleep in?" Logan asked.
"Who do you think?" Gambit smiled. "Rogue's."
Snikt.
"You what?" Logan growled. He does that a lot.
"I told you. I slept in Rogue's room."
"Alright, that's it. You are never allowed to see Rogue again. Rogue, darlin', get away from him. He's no good for you."
"Logan!" Rogue cried indignantly. "You can't tell me what to do, or who I can date!"
"Rogue," Logan began.
"Shut up, Logan!" She growled at him. She does that a lot, too.
"Don't tell me to shut up. Listen to me. I'm just trying to keep you from getting hurt, I—"
Logan stopped talking as he slumped to the ground unconscious.
"I'm not a little baby that needs protecting," Rogue said as she put her glove back on.
"Nice going, chere," Gambit said appreciatively. Then his voice turned cold.
"Some one, or some people snuck into my room last night. I also have reason to believe that one of those people dyed my fille's hair pink."
He pulled out a playing card and charged it.
"Uh, oh," Bobby breathed.
"Mein Gott!" Kurt exclaimed.
"I told you we should have looked for his other stashes!" Jubilee yelled.
"I don't mind you breaking into my room," Gambit informed them. "Neither do I mind that you 'borrowed' my cards."
"You don't care?" Bobby asked hopefully.
"I care," Gambit said, "but less so when I'm not the one who's going to be paying to get me new cards and a new carpet. I assume you threw the cards away?"
"No," Kurt spoke up. "We gave them to Pyro so he could have kindling for a bonfire."
Gambit's eyes glinted. He hated bon fires. Which stupid guy turned "bonefire" into "bonfire"? Didn't he know that bon meant good? No fire is a good fire, especially around Pyro.
Bobby interrupted his train of thought.
"What you mean when you say that your not going to be the one paying for the new cards and carpet?"
"I took a, ahem, detour, on my way down," Gambit pulled three wallets from a pocket.
"That's my wallet!" Jubilee yelled, recognizing one of them.
"That's mine!" Kurt lunged to grab his.
"That's not fair!" cried Bobby for the thousandth time that day.
"Uh, uh, uh, garcon," Gambit held the wallets out of reach. "What's not fair is that someone broke the vase that held the flowers I gave to Rogue and someone broke the picture frame that had a photo of mon Roguey in it and someone died mon Roguey's harid pink." Gambit finished his speech and glared at the young mutants.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Kurt teleported back and forth between the kitchen and the dining hall, screaming all the while.
Jubilee ran around the mansion, screaming and not looking where she was going. She ran into a door, Evan, a chair, Hank, Jean, a table, Scott, another door, Amara, the TV, the couch, Angel, Roberto, Storm, a lamp, a cabinet, another table, and the professor's wheelchair (with the professor in it) before running over Logan and ending up in the dining hall again.
Bobby merely ran in circles in the dining hall screaming, "I'm innocent, I'm innocent!"
Rogue watched Bobby in amazement.
"If you're innocent, then who did it?"
Bobby stopped for a moment, then burst out, "The butler did it!"
"We don't have a butler."
"Oh, really? Then what's Logan for?"
Unfortunately for Bobby, Logan regained consciousness in time to hear that statement.
—End—