Disclaimer – I don't own twilight.

So, this is the first letter in A life through letters. I think the format will be letter chapter letter chapter etc. but that may change so don't hold me to it.

I hope you enjoy. All feedback is welcome, even if you think there is something that I need to improve on, let me know and I'll try and do it.

Thanks for reading, enjoy. !

Dear whom ever may read this,

I'm not sure if you want to read this, hell, I don't even know if someone is going to read this but I have to get something down on paper, or I'll scream in the face of the next person who tires to speak to me.

Someone has to know me, or know how I feel at the very least. I've always been a person who hides things. I keep my emotions to myself and let other people think that I'm okay. I'm not okay.

Maybe to understand a little more you need to know a few key facts about myself. I'll start with my age, I'm 16 years old. I won't give you my name, it's irrelevant really. I'm male and my parents, and note that I say parents live in an upper class world. They have weekly dinner parties, dates and other things like that. They have bridge clubs that aren't real bridge clubs but gathering of women who are slightly past it talking about the new gardener that has a perfect 6 pack and v that makes them and I quote want to 'lick him all over'. The men go off and play golf and discuss the latest world affairs and just plain old affairs that effect them. Namely the new nurse that resembles Barbie.

I'm meant to be part of this world. I'm meant to become part of this, and I hate that fact. I've never really hated anything more than that. Everything that this world is, is everything that I'm against. I believe in nothing that this world has to offer. My father's a doctor, well a surgeon and I admire that. Being a doctor is something that amazes me. The thought of having the power to heal someone with your very hands has me in awe. It amazes me. What doesn't amaze me is that my father takes that for granted and is bouncing hospitals off one another trying to get more money than anyone should ever be worth.

Every parent in this world that I belong in has a plan for their child, be it a son or a daughter, they have a plan for them. I have a plan, I've had one since I was born. How can a two month old have a life plan? It confuses me more than you can ever know.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm intelligent. I love to learn and if the pleasure of learning a new fact ever disappears from my life then I don't know what I'll do. I love not only learning but teaching someone else what I've learnt. Passing on the wisdom.

I have a strange habit of quoting things. I read a lot and I've done countless amounts of research on great people with great minds, and come to think of it I've researched people who aren't so great but have the ability to speak in such an amazing way.

The likes of Austen and Dickens fascinate me. The words that they have formed on the page blow my mind and I wish that I had the ability to create and world on a page and explore the minds and character of people who are free to be who they want to be and free to do what they wasn't to do when they want to do that. I want to be able to write about rebellion. I want to write about hidden love and fantasy. I want to explore the ideas of the world and let people know my opinions of it. I want to be able to that and I don't want to be judged by my parents because I don't want to become what they want me to be. They want me to be a doctor, and as amazing as I think doctors are I don't think I can deal with the guilt of losing a life. I'm not sure saving one could out weight the guilt and sadness of losing one. I could not handle telling a family that their loved one is dead because I could not do my job well enough.

I have two passions, maybe three passions in my life. Writing or literature, learning and music. I play the piano and guitar. That's one things that I am thankful to my parents for, they put me in piano lessons since a young age and now I'm quite skilled at it. I can play classically and I can play the music of today's era. I try to sing but I'm not to sure how that is. My parents say that it's good but their entire world revolves around their ability to lie so I don't trust them to much. I compose to. I compose instrumentals and I write lyrical songs. They sound good in my mind so I hope they sound okay to those who listen.

I want very few things from life. I want to be able to write, play music, learn a new fact every day and tell my parents that I don't belong in their world and leave it. Take my guitar, let the case get tatty. I want to be able to live out of a suitcase. I want to fend for myself. I want an identity and I know that I will never find that here.

I just needed someone to know that I'm different. I wanted someone to know that I hate to bow down to the rules of society. I needed someone to know that and I'm glad that I've managed to get it out, at least I go some on my internal rant over with.

If you've read the entirety of this letter I guess I owe you a thank you. If you've just skipped to the end then I won't thank you quite yet but I think curiosity will get to you soon. I'll stop my unimportant, teen rant and let you continue in life.

I'll also apologise for this being all over the place. I get upset or overly emotional when I try to think about what I'll become so I tend to become unfocused and loose track of so much. I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Well? Good? Bad? Let me know, please! Thank you.