Forgive and Reflect

I walked back into the house and sadly the twins nap had not lasted as long as I hoped it would. They were both tormenting Charlie.

"Daddy?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"How is the weather supposed to be the rest of the afternoon?" I asked

"Sunny. Why?" he answered

"Well in that case I'm going to take the kids to the park and maybe call Alice. She and I really need to talk and that will give them both time to wear themselves out." I said smiling. I started to back the dipper bag.

"That sounds nice honey have fun, oh and Bella you really try to make things better between you girls. I like Alice I would really like to keep her around." He smiled.

I ran upstairs and grabbed Jillian and Keegan's coats. I tossed them at my dad.

"Will you put those on them while I call Alice?" I asked

"Sure thing," He said with a smile. It was funny how much Charlie liked Alice.

I dug in my pocket and pulled out my cell phone and dialed her number. It rang…an rang… an rang and then finally she picked up.

"What do you want Bella" She snorted.

"Alice I know your mad at me but, it's a nice day and well, we need to talk and I thought kill two birds with one stone go to the park and let the kids play, while we talk. I understand if you don't want to but please come. With all that's going to happen in the next couple of weeks I'm going to need and friend. I would like that friend to be you." It was silent. "Please…"

"Fine! I'll be there in 15 minutes." She said before hanging up the phone. I went back into the living room.

"So what did she say?" Charlie asked.

"She'll meet me." I smiled. I was almost positive she wouldn't. When she was mad she was stubborn. I grabbed the dipper bag, my keys, and the twins." On the way out I gave dad a kiss on the head.

"Be safe Bella." I smiled

"I will."

I was a lucky mom. The twins did not care about being in their car seat. They enjoyed it, was the impression it gave me. The park was not far from my house so it only took me a few minutes to get there. I got out of my truck and went to the back seat. I rummaged through the dipper bag and got their shoes out and put them on Jillian and Keegan. I unbuckled both of them and placed them on the grass. They started walking around. I shut and locked the truck and walked slowly behind them. I sat down on the bench and watched them play. Jillian made her way to the swing and was pulling on it. So I got up and put her in the swing and started to push her. She giggled and smiled.

"Momma," Keegan spat out like nothing. He was pulling on my pant leg. I bent down and picked him up.

"That's right baby, Momma." I said kissing his head. Keegan was much more dominant in his words then Jillian was. A lot of it had to do with the fact that she was shy.

I continued to push her in the swing and hold him. Alice showed up shortly after that. She parked her car and came an stood next to me.

"Al…" Keegan stammered. He reached for Alice with all his might. "Al, Al." He continued to reach his tiny hands for her.

"Come here Keegan." She said talking him from me. "So what is it you wanted Bella?" She asked.

"I want to know why you're so mad at me." I stated.

"I'm mad that you didn't tell me about Jacob being the daddy." She spat. "Come on I understand you not telling me if you were ashamed of the daddy but, Jacob, come on I knew you loved him and I know your still in love with him." She finished. "I'm hurt that you didn't think your secret was safe with me." She frowned. Keegan was playing with her necklace.

"Come on, Edward is your brother, I didn't want you to HAVE to keep that secret from him. That wouldn't be fair." I informed her.

"Yeah, but, I'm your best friend and that means more to me then by brother does to me. It's sad but it's true." She informed me.

"Who else did you think it was…Mike?" I laughed.

"Ewe. That's nasty Bella. That's not even a good joke." She said crinkling her nose.

"Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It won't happen again I promise." I promised.

"I'm sorry I got so mad." She said giving me a hug.

"I do have a question though." I stated she looked at me and cocked her eyebrow. "What's your problem with Jacob? He never did anything to you or anything." I asked.

"It's not that I don't like him, it's just the way he paws at you that I don't like." She informed me

"Hey, I like the way he paws at me thank you." I said sticking my tongue at her.

"That's WAY too much information!" She said shaking her head in distaste.

"So…"She said elbowing me in the side. "What's going on with you and Jacob? Anything worth sharing? Does he know?" She was digging for information. She put Keegan in the swing next to Jillian and started to push him.

"About what?" I played dumb.

Her eyes got big and furious. "You have got to be kidding me Bella. You haven't told him?" She said firmly. "Why not?"

"I chickened out." I said ashamed.

"He has a right to know Bella; sooner or later you're going to have to tell him, the sooner the better." She stated.

"I know he does but, I can't just blurt out; oh by the way Jillian and Keegan are yours and I have known all along and kept it from you anyway. Oh and I'm still in love with you please forgive me? That wouldn't be the best way to tell him or anyone as matter of fact." I declared.

"I agree but, you still need to tell him. He is a big boy, I'm sure he can handle it." She assured. I nodded. I knew I needed to tell him I just didn't know how.

"Well we should be getting home. I have to feed them, bathe them, and then put them down for bed." I said picking Jillian up out of the swing. Alice did as I with Keegan and we walked to my truck. We both put them in their car seats. Alice kissed them both and told them goodbye. We also said our goodbyes and head on our way.

Early Monday Morning

6:30

My weekend was long and tiresome. The twins were being little monsters. Every minute they were awake I was chasing after them making sure they weren't breaking, spilling, or antagonizing anyone or anything and when they were sleeping I was picking up after them. They decided to go in the bathroom and unrolled the entire toilet paper roll. Their toys were all over the place. Oh and when I was feeding them they thought it was funny to play in it and get it all over me. It was a long weekend. Though Sunday evening it came to an abrupt halt; Grandpa Charlie and I had had enough of them not listening to us and we made sure they knew we were not happy about it. They both got scolded and went in their play pin for five minutes. So after that they both calmed down and relaxed. Jillian snuggled with grandpa and Keegan cuddled with me and we watched Finding Nemo. They went down fairly early that night. So I got to bed shortly after them; I needed the sleep that's for sure. I was exhausted. So when I woke this morning on my own and not to a crying baby. I was thankful the twins were still sleeping so I took that chance to go and take a shower. I grabbed a bra, panties, and jeans from my dresser and then grabbed a tank top from my closet and headed to my bathroom.

As I opened my door the smell of sizzling bacon, eggs, and coffee hit me like a brick wall. I shut my door and took in the heavily sent. Dad was making himself some breakfast before he went to work. The smell reminded me of when I was younger and dad and mom were still together. Mom always made breakfast in the morning and it always woke me. That smell was my favorite memory. My only memory of when I was young. I walked to the bathroom and turned the hot water on, as it warmed up I brushed my teeth. I undressed and slipped into the shower. I lend on the shower wall and let the hot water beat down on my back. It felt so relaxing. I needed some me time so I stood there for awhile and then washed my hair and body. I even got to shave my legs. I got out of the shower and got dressed. I flipped my hair and towel dried and put some leave in conditioner in it and then brushed it. When I was done I hung my towels up and head down stairs. When I got to the bottom of the stairs my slippers where awaiting my feet so I slipped them on and headed to the kitchen.

Charlie was sitting at the table in his uniform eating his breakfast. "Good morning dad." I greeted him with a kiss on the cheek.

"Good morning Bells. How did you sleep?" He asked stuffing his mouth with some more eggs and bacon and washing it down with some hot coffee.

"Great actually." I smiled and got myself a plate of food and put it on the table. I made my way to the coffee pot and poured myself some I put cream and sugar in it. I turned to Charlie. "Need some more." I gestured the pot to him.

"Sure I'll take it for the rode, I got to head out." He said I grabbed my cup in one hand and the coffee pot in the other. I topped off my dad's cup and he head out. "Be good Bella."

"Be safe dad. I love you." I smiled

"Love you to Bells." He said walking out the door.

I ate my breakfast and drank my coffee in the quiet of the morning. It was my favorite part of the day so it was nice to enjoy it without the twins screaming. When I was done I looked at the clock. 7:40. It was getting time for me to wake Jillian and Keegan. I decided to wait till after I made them some breakfast. I made them some fresh scrambled eggs and toast. I made them each a bowl and placed it on the table. I pulled their high chairs in to the kitchen. After that I went upstairs and woke them. I changed them and put some clothes on them. I picked them both up and we made our way down the stairs and into the kitchen and I placed them in their high chairs, I gave them their bowls and toast and watched them eat.

Jacobs POV Noon

My weekend was excellent. Hollister was fantastic. We had no problems with any of the bikes or anything as a matter of fact and I got all my thinking done. I had finally made up my mind on what I was going to do. I knew what I had to do. I had to tell her how I really felt about her. I grabbed my phone and txted her.

I'll be at your place in ten, be outside please.

Ok see you soon. =)

I couldn't go on lying to her anymore. She has to know, I have to tell her.

I pulled up her gravel driveway and she was outside like I asked her to be. She was leaning up against her car with her short black hair hanging in her face. She was wearing shorts and one of my number racing shirts. She looked up at me and met my eyes. When I caught her gaze her face came to life.

Shiloh had been there when Bella had chosen Edward. She picked up the pieces and tried to put me back together. She was patient and willing to wait as long as she had to for my love and affection. And she did, she waited a long time for me. She almost had my full attention but, then Bella came back into my life and I realized that Bells is the only one I want to be with. She is the only thing I see. It's like complete tunnel vision. To be with Bella though, I had to break Shiloh's heart.

I got out of my jeep and made my way to the front of it and leaned on it. She came to me and tried to kiss me. I turned my head.

"Jake? What's wrong? Bad weekend?" She asked sweetly.

"You knew I loved another when we met." I started and she nodded. "I was damaged and broken." She looked up at me.

"I hope I have done a good job at fixing that." She said softly.

"You did," I said pushing her hair behind her ears. "And I can't thank you enough for that but, I can't keep doing this to you." I said, she began to cry. "I still love her Shiloh. You have to understand that this is not fair of me to do this to you." I finished.

"Bella's back isn't she?" She asked.

"How do you know her name?" I asked.

"In the begging you said her name a lot in your sleep." She cried.

"I'm so sorry Shiloh!" I apologized.

"I knew this would happen sooner or later. I knew you would never fully be mine. I'm just glad I got to have a taste of you even for a short period of time. I just want you to be happy Jacob and if that's not with me I want you to be with her." She said crying even harder. She started to back away from me. But before she got out of my reach I grabbed her and hugged her hard and placed a soft kiss upon her head. "You will always have apart of my heart Shiloh." I whispered in her ear. She pushed away from me and walked away.

"Go. Get out of here Jacob." She said going into the house.

I got into my truck and left. My next stop Bella's. I pulled up to her house and she was sitting on the front porch watching the twins play in the front yard,

"Jacob what are you doing here?" She asked.

"I told you I would stop by when I got back." I answered and sat down next to her on the porch swing.

"Well it's a good thing you're here." She said with a smile.

"Oh yeah?"

"I've done a lot of thinking this weekend Jacob, and well, I need to tell you something."

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