It wasn't that Sam intimidated him.

It wasn't that he was throwing a diva fit over receiving his first black eye. It was his fault, after all, he had initiated the fight, but he hadn't really expected Sam to fight him back.

And damn, did that guy have an arm.

At least he'd been able to escape with part of his dignity intact.

But that was the end of it.

He was sick of this shit.

Sick of having arguments daily, sick of feeling like a douchebag just for wanting to get his way. He was sick of not getting his way, not getting any ass, and not being the charming spotlight hog in the relationship.

This was the end.

Christmas Eve came quickly, but not quickly enough. Sam was excited for Christmas, as usual, but some of the appeal had gone out of it. Is love really supposed to make everything else more miserable? He'd always heard it the other way around. When you're in love everything's brighter, peoples' eyes take on a certain shine and your skin starts to glow and you can't stop smiling.

Maybe that's how it worked, if the object of your affections felt the same way.

Wait. Am I even in love? Am I just jumping to conclusions?

He'd never felt this way before.

He and his family had been invited to Christmas Eve service at Quinn's church, the First United Methodist's Church of Lima. He got into the family van, dressed in his good gray suit, worn leather hand-me-down bible in hand. He had on one of his dad's ties for the event, a festive red striped one, and he was trying not to feel sick to his stomach at the thought of seeing Quinn's folks again. Surely they hated him, now.

The church was nice. It was one of those older ones, brick on the outside, with wooden pews and crosses and those colorful flags. His family filed into a pew with the Fabrays, and he ended up next to Quinn. "Hi," he said, managing a smile.

"Merry Christmas," she said, smiling warmly. He was amazed at the change in her, but he suspected it was inspired in part by the change in himself. It was nice to have some semblance of friendship between them, even if they both knew things would never be the same.

He'd never been to a Methodist church before, and he thought it was nice, but he didn't exactly agree with some of the service. Since when had God become a 'He or She'? He was pretty sure God was genderless, and people just called Him a 'He' because it was easier, but he made no comment. His favorite part of the service was when, at the end, everyone held hands and said a prayer. Quinn smiled at him and he squeezed her hand. He said his own little prayer in his head. Thank You for Christmas and pretty churches and friends and forgiveness and...stuff.

"Kurt!"

Kurt groaned and turned over. He hadn't gotten much sleep. His eyes still felt scratchy and his lips felt swollen. Why even cry? Why was he so upset? It's not like he didn't see it coming, and he was relieved in a way.

"Dude, get up, it's Christmas!"

Finn's voice grated in his ears. Is it too much to just want silence?

Finn rolled his eyes. "Okay, seriously, I don't want to have to tackle you, but I will."

Kurt groaned again, more loudly this time, and threw the blanket off of himself. Even sleeping, he looked fashionable. He wore a satiny top and bottom set in a powder blue color. Finn had to keep himself from laughing at Kurt's usually perfect hair, sticking up in the back. Kurt stood and put his hands on his hips. "You're going to have to give me a minute."

"No can do, bro. Christmas morning festivities are attended in bed-head and wrinkled pajamas."

Kurt blinked.

"Finn, I think that was the most well-spoken sentence I've ever heard you utter." His morning voice was a bit croaky.

Finn shrugged. "I sort of practiced it."

Kurt smiled. He supposed he could make an exception just this once. It was his first Christmas with his new mish-mash family, after all. He stepped into his slippers and shuffled into the living room. The tree was small, but it was nice, and it had more ornaments on it than it ever had. Kurt and his dad had never been especially big on Christmas, but they'd always gotten a tree and exchanged gifts.

Finn was smiling like...well, like a kid on Christmas morning. He handed out gifts and sat down on the floor at his mom's feet. Kurt wasn't sure he'd ever seen him so excited - not since he'd gone to second base with Rachel.

Finn opened Kurt's present first. He grinned.

"Two tickets to a Buckeye game," Kurt informed him, smiling. "You can take whoever you want...but preferably not me." Finn laughed, and opened his next gift - a new set of drumsticks from his mom.

Kurt and Carole got matching scarves from Burt. "I...wasn't sure, I couldn't find another one I liked. I hope you don't mind matching," he said, when Carole opened hers.

She smiled. "Thank you, sweetie," she said, leaning over and kissing him.

Kurt got a Target gift card from Finn - "I wasn't...sure what you'd want, so..." - and Kurt and Finn had pitched in on the only thing they could think of getting Burt: a coffee mug with a picture of the two of them. They almost looked like brothers. Burt cleared his throat. It wouldn't look so great if he started tearing up. He gathered his family up into a hug.

"Dad, you're squishing me."

Burt squeezed tighter.

The party was at Artie's house this year.

"Artie Party!" he said high-fiving and hand-shaking as a big group of people surged through his door. "Hey hey hey!" He bumped fists with Finn as he entered with Kurt and Rachel.

"There's dranks in the kitchen and skanks on the stairs."

Sam laughed as he came in, messing up Artie's hair. The music was on full blast, the lights were low and someone had invested in disco lighting.

The annual New Year's Eve party was a huge event in Lima, spanning across all the schools and colleges in the district. Sam had no idea how Artie had been chosen to host this year, or how he was pulling it off with his parents, but there were no adults to be seen. Everyone attending pitched in, and the lights and party effects were recycled every year. Most of the people in this town might be Lima losers, but they knew how to party. Everyone was there.

It was the one time during the year that people forgot social status and just danced all night. The lights flashed, the music deafened, the air was hot. Kids smoked, everyone drank, most abused illegal substances. At one point during the night, Sam found himself laughing hysterically at the idea of what Coach Sylvester would think if she could 'C' this.

Kurt was happy. It felt good to let go and dance. When Blair entered, he didn't see him. When suddenly he was dancing next to Sam, he just kept dancing. They threw their hands up in the air, they sang along, they danced and danced and danced until their bodies ached, and they danced some more, and when the countdown began, they ran outside with noisemakers and cracker and silly string and shouted and whooped and popped their poppers. There were kisses and hugs and "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"s all around, and hours later, as the party wound down and the sun started peeking over the trees and rooftops, he found himself barely awake on the couch on the front lawn, with Kurt laying at the other end and, out of it as he was, he couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of their legs touching and their bodies keeping each other warm. He looked around. There was trash and streamers and silly string everywhere, along with barely breathing bodies on the porch and the roof and inside the house. It was quiet, except for birds singing and sprinklers turning on. He could see his breath.

He sat up so he was leaning over gently snoring Kurt, conflicted. Don't wake him up.

No, wake him up and tell him how you feel.

No, stick to the plan, the plan is good.

But his lips are so...there, and he looks so sweet, and I...

What if he wakes up and freaks out.

Just...

He looked around again before leaning down and leaving a little kiss on Kurt's soft cheek.

And then he walked the few blocks to his house, a smile on his face that he couldn't get rid of, actually looking forward to coming back and helping clean up the mess.

an: okay...well hope that was satisfactory, for now :) please let me know what you thought, if you have any suggestions, etc., etc. you knowwwww :)