The meaning of love

Disclaimer: The day I own them I will die of happiness. But since I'm not dead. Roman Polanski's.

Herbert's sad eyes followed the young student out of the door. Nothing he'd done or said had made any difference; the assistant was scared to death. The Count's son bit his lip and tried to swallow away his anger and hurt. No one had ever rejected him when he'd made it clear that he desired them. But Alfred, this… this boy, had run away as if he was the devil himself.

With a deep sigh he walked out of the ballroom, maybe tonight he'd have another chance, and this time he wouldn't ruin it! He would get the boy to fall into his arms out of free will and everything would be right again.

For a moment last night he had actually believed that Alfred would be able to love him, the student had lain in his arms and cried after his nightmare. Herbert had immediately felt guilty for creating the dream, he'd meant to show the boy his desires, it was never his idea to scare him. But after an hour Alfred had fallen into a peaceful slumber and Herbert had to leave, fleeing for the daylight.

The soft light of a fire from his father's study caught his attention. Softly he entered and saw the Count sitting in his high chair in front of the hearth. Herbert walked forward and stood still next to the other vampire.

"Goodnight father," he tried to get his attention, "Is everything ready for the ball?"

"It is." Von Krolock answered before looking up at his son, "Where were you? I'd have thought you were getting ready."

"I was distracted," Herbert smirked, reliving the short scene in his memory. "The company for this year's ball is simply enchanting."

"You're talking about the boy?" It was a rhetorical question, after living with Herbert for hundreds of years he was bound to know about his… habits. "I hope you controlled yourself, he's a guest. You didn't bite him did you?"

"Father!" Herbert cried out in an offended tone. "I'm not going to bite him! I love him!"

The Count laughed a cold, heartless laugh. "It doesn't matter now, does it? The hunger will force you to because you love him. You will break his sweet, innocent soul and there will be nothing you can do to stop that. Trust me. I know." He knew how the words would break his son's heart but it was the truth and Herbert had to realise that there were no happy endings for vampires.

But apparently the blonde wasn't going to give up so easily, "You don't know anything father! He is not like your girls. And I am not like you!" His eyes were full of anger, how dare his father say things like that to him.

"Herbert, please," The Count placed a hand on his son's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down, "I know you hate it, but this is just the way these things work. We are vampires. The blood of those we love smells sweeter, we can't stop ourselves. I can't either."

Herbert caught on, "The girl. You love her."

"For now. She's warm and oh so innocent…" his voice trailed off.

"But -?"

"But once she's one of us, I know I will forget about her. Like I forget all of them. And this time it is just so hard. She touched something in me that I haven't felt in a long time."

"Maybe it will be different tonight," Herbert tried to console him but it felt more like a wish for himself. A wish that he would be able to hold his distance and let his Alfred live. He'd rather see the student leave him as a human, then to keep him in the castle forever as a vampire, because Alfred would never forgive him and he didn't know if he could handle that. "Father?"

"Yes."

"You told me that you haven't… felt love in a long time. But you did feel it. Who was she?" For a moment he doubted if von Krolock would answer the question, the other vampire was so silent, staring into the hearth as if a story was playing out in the depth of the flames. But then he spoke, and his voice sounded so broken that Herbert wondered for a moment if it was really his father speaking.

"She was the most beautiful woman who ever lived, with hair as silver blonde as the moon and eyes blue as the sky," he sighed a little, "I was still human and you can't imagine how I loved her. She was everything I desired and the day she said she loved me must have been one of the happiest in my life." His eyes were looking at a fixed point in the room but his thoughts seemed miles away, years back in time.

"She got pregnant, the villagers were so angry when they found out that I was forbidden to ever visit her again, to set foot within hundred meters of her. Can you imagine how empty this castle is when your heart is broken? I wanted nothing more as to lose myself in darkness, so that I would never have to think again. For months I haunted my own house as a ghost. But then my wish was granted," his soft voice was interrupted by his own humourless laugh, "One day a man knocked at the door. He was darkness, and when he spoke to me I believed his every word. He promised me happiness. He said I would be strong enough to take her with me and live forever with her by my side. I let him bite me." The thought of that seemed to faze him less as the thought of his former lover, as if he didn't really remember it anymore.

Herbert noticed that he was totally caught up in the story and when his father stopped speaking he almost wanted to jump up and force him to continue. All he could muster was a little breathless: "And did you go to her?"

"Yes. I felt like I could do anything if I just set my mind to it. I went to the village; I took her out of her house without any trouble. The stars were so bright when we lay down in the grass, she placed her hand in mine, it was warm and soft and I thought I had it all. But I couldn't control the thirst." Again he stopped talking.

"You bit her?"

"She died in my arms. It was never my intention to kill her but my love for her was so overpowering that I had to. When she woke up as a vampire she had changed… she was depressed and cold. A few days later she stepped into the sunlight, living as a creature of darkness had never been her destiny. She was too innocent. Too pure."

Herbert looked into the fire, at loss for words. His father had never told him this particular story and now he felt like he had gained something so personal, that he was afraid to break the silence and ruin this newfound trust between them.

But then the Count spoke up again, finishing the story that his son had considered ended. "She had given birth only a few days before. A son. A little boy with her hair and eyes."

"Me."

Von Krolock gave him a sad smile but the magic was broken when someone knocked at the door. It was Koukol, telling them, although it was more grunting and mumbling, that the Professor and his assistant had found there way to the cemetery. With a swirl of his cloak the vampire Count stood up, he waved the hunchbacked servant away, "I'll deal with them." Then he walked towards the door, just before leaving he turned around to face his son. "Go and change Herbert, the ball will commence shortly. One more thing…" his look was a little softer now, "If you can get the boy to succumb to you, he's yours. If you can't… the other vampires will have him. Whatever way we turn it, his fate has been decided ever since he stepped trough the gate. No amount of love will change that."

"Yes father." No one could imagine his heartbreak at speaking those two fatal words.

A/N: "Who was Herbert's mum anyway?" "Well, we know she was blonde." – This chapter gave me so much trouble! I'm sorry for the lack of Alfred (Alfred/Herbert), this just had to be written. Next chapter will make up for that.