Here's chapter two. :) Very fun.

Finn's eyelids fluttered open. He rubbed his eyes and rolled over, practically falling onto the floor. He stretched out and sat up, his head pounding. He lay back down quickly, hoping for the headache to pass. When he realized it wasn't about to get any better, he moaned and sat up again, rubbing his forehead. He got to his feet and promenaded over to the bathroom. He stood in front of the white porcelain toilet and sighed as he relieved himself. He looked to the right once, but turned back around, sniffing. He made a sort of harrumph sound with his lips. He looked to the right again, and then turned back once again.

"Stupid tiger," he grumbled. As he flushed the toilet, he heard a low, rumbling growl. He did a double-take to the right. Then his eyes widened. He pressed his back against the wall and let out a loud, panicky huff. He stared at the orange-and-black-striped tiger as it opened its mouth widely. Finn scrambled out of the bathroom and went loping across the floor. He ended up tripping over a sleeping Puck, who groaned loudly as Finn hit the floor with a thump.

"What the fuck?" Puck croaked angrily, propping himself up with his elbow and rubbing his eyes. His eyes squinted as Finn jumbled to his feet and took quick, fearful breaths. "Control yourself, man. Goddamn, will you put on some pants?"

"Puck, do not go in the bathroom," Finn said anxiously.

Puck slowly got to his feet. "Finn, just calm down. It's me."

"Puck, there is a tiger in the bathroom!"

Kurt suddenly piped up from where he sat on the couch. "What's going on?"

Finn leapt forward, making Kurt jump. "There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!"

"Okay, okay, Finn." Puck put his hand on one of Finn's shoulders. "I'll go check it out."

"Don't go in." Finn shook his head. "Don't go in. Don't go in."

Puck started to walk toward the bathroom. Finn was right on his heels, followed closely by Kurt. Finn was shouting, "Be careful! Don't, don't!"

Puck went into the bathroom slowly. He opened the door and peeked his head in, being startled by the growling tiger. He yelled, "Oh!" He stumbled out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him as he laughed aloud. "Holy fuck! He's not kidding!"

"See?" Finn angrily pointed his finger at Puck, shoving his face closer to Kurt's. "See?"

"There's a tiger in there."

"No, there isn't," Kurt disagreed.

"Yeah! It's big!" Finn exclaimed. "Gigantic!"

"You okay, buddy?" Puck asked Kurt, placing a hand on the cringing man's arm.

"No. I am in so much pain right now."

"Goddamn," Puck murmured. "Look at this place."

The three of them stared at the untidiness of clothes, food, and other various items chaotically dispersed around the room. None of them could even see the floor. It seemed as if there had been a wild party there and nobody had even bothered to clean one thing up. The guys were all wondering the same thing, but nobody said it.

What the fuck happened last night?

"Whew," Kurt whistled.

"I know." Puck sat down next to Kurt on the couch.

As Kurt stared at the mess he knew they would have to pay for, something sprung into his mind. "Puck, they have my credit card downstairs." He shoved his throbbing head into his hands. He figured Mercedes was definitely going to murder him. "I am so screwed."

"How does a tiger get in the bathroom?" Finn asked. "It almost killed me."

"Hey, bro?"

Finn turned to Puck.

"You mind putting on some pants?" Puck rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand. "I find it a little weird that I have to ask twice."

Finn blinked, and he somehow looked taken aback, for whatever reason. "Pants at a time like this? I don't have any p-"

Before he could finish, Puck cut him off, still completely shocked at the looks of the place and at the tiger roaring away in the bathroom. "What the fuck happened last night?"

Kurt suddenly noticed the ache in his mouth. His lips parted, and he stuck his forefinger in his mouth. He pressed it against his upper gums and flinched a little at the sudden twinge of pain. He noticed a small gap where his tooth should have been. "Hey, Puck, am I missing a tooth?"

"I can't . . ." Puck trailed off as Kurt lifted his upper lip, revealing the empty space there. Puck chuckled. "Oh, shit!"

"Oh, my God!" Kurt was completely flabbergasted. "My lateral incisor . . . It's gone!"

"It's okay. Okay, okay. Just calm down," Puck breathed. "We're fine. Everything's fine." He twisted around. "Finn, go wake up Artie." Finn stumbled toward Artie's room unsteadily. Puck said, "Let's get some coffee and get the fuck out of Nevada before housekeeping shows."

"What am I gonna tell Mercedes?" Kurt asked absentmindedly, almost to himself. He hadn't really been listening to Puck. "I lost a tooth. I have no idea how it happened."

"You're freaking me out, man," Puck sighed. "I got a massive headache, okay? Let's just calm down."

Kurt stared at Puck with wide eyes. "How am I supposed to calm down? Look around you."

Finn appeared in the room then. "Hey, guys, he's not in there." He passed them and poked his head into each room he hadn't checked yet.

"Did you check all the rooms?" Puck asked as Finn approached he and Kurt.

"Yeah, I looked everywhere. Plus, his mattress is gone," Finn explained.

"He probably went to the pool to get something to eat," Kurt said optimistically.

"I'll just call his cell." Puck found his cell phone on the counter next to the refrigerator as Finn went to check in Artie's room again.

Kurt looked in the mirror, angry, confused, and in pain. "I look like a nerdy hillbilly."

"Hello?" Puck heard on the other line of the phone call.

"Finn," Puck grumbled, recognizing the voice almost immediately.

"Hey."

"It's Puck."

"Oh, hey, Puck," Finn said on the other line. "This is Artie's phone."

Puck rolled his eyes. "No shit."

"Yeah," Finn breathed.

Puck angrily put his phone down and sighed radically. He watched as Finn exited Artie's room, and Puck fought the urge to roll his eyes at the taller guy. He used the heel of his hand to rub his forehead, trying to push away his migraine. Finn sat down on the sofa. Kurt rubbed his gums to try and make them feel better.

Suddenly, the three guys stopped what they were doing, freezing in their spots. They heard what sounded like a muffled scream. As they silenced and strained their ears to hear what it was, they decided it sounded a little bit more like a strangled cry, but nothing that was coming from an adult or anyone that was being physically hurt. Finn stood up slowly, Kurt pulled his finger out of his mouth, and Puck's eyebrows came together as he put his hands at his sides.

"What the fuck is that?" Puck asked quietly. He started walking toward the door and found that the closer he got, the louder the crying was. Kurt and Finn followed as Puck pulled the door open. His eyes widened. Kurt placed his hand on his chest, and Finn gasped.

A baby, wearing a pale blue T-shirt and a white hat, was lying in a car seat in front of the door. He was covered by a blue blanket, and he was crying.

"Whose fucking baby is that?" Puck asked. He turned to Finn. "Finn, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?"

"Yeah, I checked all the rooms. No one's here." Finn kept staring at the baby, looking him up and down. "Check its collar or something."

Kurt leaned down and lifted the car seat. He brought the baby in the room. Puck closed the door. Kurt picked the baby up and held him. "Shhh, shhh. It's okay, baby."

For a split second, Puck was reminded of his own baby girl, Beth, who was at home with his wife Quinn right now. Quinn was probably wondering where Puck was. Puck couldn't focus on that right now, though. He sighed. "Kurt, we don't have time for this. Let's go hook up with Artie; we'll deal with the baby later."

"Puck, we're not gonna leave the baby in the room," Kurt muttered. "There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom."

Puck put both palms in the air. "It's not our baby!"

Finn shrugged. "Yeah, I gotta side with Kurt on this one."

"All right, fine." Puck ran a hand over his cleanly-shaven head. "Okay, we'll take it with us." He turned to Finn, rolled his eyes, and started walking away. "Could you at least just find some pants?"

"Why can't we remember a goddamn thing from last night?" Kurt asked as they rode the elevator down.

"Because we obviously had a great fucking time," Puck chuckled. "Why don't you just stop worrying for one minute? Be proud of yourself."

Finn was leaning against the wall of the elevator, the baby in a little carrier over his torso. Finn was wearing his favorite sunglasses. Puck leaned casually behind him. Kurt was worrying away, still feeling the gap where his lateral incisor should have been.

The elevator stopped before they reached the lobby. The doors opened, and an elderly woman stepped in. She smiled at Finn, pressed a button on the elevator, and waited.

"Oh, how cute," the woman commented, staring at the baby. She looked up at the three guys. "What's his name?"

After a few moments of silence, Puck looked down. He rubbed the back of his head and replied, "Ben."

"Carlos," Finn shot back, insisting that be the baby's name.

As the doors began to close, the woman's smile faded, and Puck murmured into Finn's ear, "Carlos?"

"Hey, Puck, look."

Puck turned his head to look at Finn. Finn picked up the baby's hand and moved it in an up-and-down motion. His rumbling laughter filled the air.

"He's jackin' his little weenis!"

Puck laughed and shook his head, but he couldn't turn away; it was too funny. "Pull yourself together, man," he said to Finn.

"Not at the table, Carlos!" Finn chuckled. He released the baby's hand, but he was still laughing a little. He stopped when Kurt arrived and sat down at the table next to Puck. He was holding several ice cubes—wrapped in a paper towel—to his lip, right where the ache in his gums was.

"I looked everywhere," he breathed. "Gym, casino, front desk . . . Nobody's seen Artie. He's not here."

"He's fine. He's a grown man. Seriously, Kurt, you gotta calm down." Puck straightened his back and pushed his cup over to Kurt. "Here, have some juice."

With a gurgle, Kurt leaned over and vomited on the ground. He took a deep breath. "I can't have juice right now," he said softly.

Puck sighed and turned his napkin over, pulling a pen out of the pocket of his shirt. "Okay. All right. Let's just track this thing. What's the last thing we remember doing last night?"

"Well, the first thing is we were on the roof," Finn recalled. "And we were having those shots of Jäger. And then we ate dinner at The Palm, right?"

Puck nodded. "That's right." He wrote everything down as Finn said it.

"And then we played craps at the Hard Rock, and I think Artie was there," Finn added.

"That sounds right." Puck squinted at the clear blue sky. "No, no, he definitely was."

"You know what, guys? I don't even remember going to dinner." Kurt leaned forward and put his hands on the table.

"What the fuck?" Puck breathed. "I don't think I've ever been this hung-over."

"After the Hard Rock," Finn sighed, "I blacked out. It was like emptiness."

"Okay. We have up until ten PM," Puck said, looking at what he had written down, "so that gives us a twelve-hour window where we could have lost him."

Finn put his hands in his pockets. Suddenly, his eyes narrowed, and his hand fished around. He slowly pulled out the object that was in between his fingers and examined it carefully. "What is this?"

"Oh, my God." Kurt snatched it from Finn's hand. "That is my tooth! Why do you have it? What else is in your pockets?"

"This is a good thing," Puck insisted. He quickly reached into the pockets of his jeans. "Check your pockets, check your pockets!"

The three of them trawled through all of their pockets to see if they could find anything that might lead them to Artie. Finn put a handful of coins on the table, and then he shrugged in a way of showing that he had nothing else in his pockets; Kurt's tooth and the change had been all. Puck sighed and rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand restlessly. He looked up at Kurt hopefully.

"Do you have anything?"

Kurt pulled out a small piece of paper. "I have an ATM receipt from the Bellagio. Eleven-oh-five for eight hundred dollars!" he shouted, his eyes widening as he read the receipt. He knew Mercedes was bound to find out they'd gone to Las Vegas when she saw the credit card bill now. The guys had promised Kurt he'd only have to pay for one night at the Caesars hotel. "I am so fucked."

Finn tried searching through his pockets again, and his fingertips met a piece of paper crumbled at the bottom of the compartment. He pulled it out and straightened it on the table until he was able to read it. "I have a valet ticket from Caesars. Looks like we got in at five-fifteen AM."

"Oh, shit. We drove last night?" Puck asked.

"Driving drunk. Classic!" Finn laughed.

Kurt sat back in his chair, ignoring the headache that was quickly approaching. He turned his head to face Puck, who was sipping his juice and staring forward absentmindedly. Kurt eyed the orange-and-white band that hung from Puck's wrist suspiciously. "What's on your arm?"

Puck looked at his own arm, seeing the bracelet himself. He put down his cup and took the bracelet between his forefinger and middle finger. "What the fuck is that?"

Kurt then realized just what that bracelet was. "Jesus, Puck. You were in the hospital last night."

"I guess so, yeah." Puck shrugged.

Finn's eyebrows came together, and he turned to Puck. "You okay?"

"Yeah, Finn, I'm fine."

"What the hell is going on?" Kurt asked.

"Well, Kurt, this is a good thing," Puck said uneasily. "We have a lead now."

"Hey, Kurt, watch this."

Kurt turned to Finn, who was, once again, moving the baby's hand to make it look like he was masturbating.

"You ever seen a baby do that?" Finn questioned, chuckling.

"Dude, Finn, not cool."

"So, uh, are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby?" Kurt asked as Carlos hung over Finn's torso in a carrier. Kurt was eyeing Finn's sunglasses, which were on Carlos' small round face. Finn glanced at Kurt quickly.

"What? I've found a baby before."

"You found a baby before?" Kurt questioned.

"Yeah," Finn replied.

Kurt was rather curious. "Where?"

"Coffee Bean," Finn answered simply.

Kurt's eyebrows came together, and he leaned forward slightly. "Wait, what?"

Finn ignored Kurt, calling to Puck, "Hey, Puck? I don't think Artie would want us to take the Mercedes."

"Relax," Puck breathed. "We'll be careful."

"My dad is crazy about that car. He left Artie in charge," Finn explained.

"Finn. We got bigger problems here. Artie could be in the hospital. He could be hurt." Puck sighed. "Let's worry about the car later."

"Uh, guys? Check it out."

Finn and Puck turned to look where Kurt was pointing. It was a mattress. It had been pierced through the middle and was hanging from the top of the statue that perched on the room of Ceasers hotel. Several men were trying to get it down, and one shouted, "Grab it from the other side."

"Is that the mattress from Artie's room?" Finn asked.

Puck approached a worker and asked what was going on.

"Some asshole threw his bed out the window last night," the man explained.

"No shit," Puck grumbled.

"Yeah." The guy shook his head. "Some guys just can't handle Vegas."

Kurt fake-laughed uneasily as the man walked away. "Oh, God," he muttered, turning away.

"It's gonna be okay, Kurt," Puck assured him. He rubbed his eyes and folded his arms across his chest, shifting his weight over to one leg.

"How the hell did we manage that?"

Suddenly, a police cruiser pulled up next to the curb where the guys were standing. "Here's your car, officers," the valet guy said, getting out of the car.

"Oh, God," Kurt mumbled again, shaking his head.

"All right, everybody act cool. Don't say a thing," Puck said, leading his friends toward the car. "Let's just get in and go." He checked his pockets for money he could give to the valet guy, but he didn't have anything. "Hey, Kurt, you got a five?"

"No."

"I'll hit you on the way back," Puck assured the guy.

"Thank you, sir."

Puck got in the driver's side of the police cruiser. Kurt opened the passenger side door at the same time he opened the back door. As he did so, Finn stepped forward, so the door hit Carlos right in the head.

"Oh, my God." Kurt knelt down in front of the crying baby quickly. "Oh, my God. You just nailed the baby."

"Are my glasses okay?" Finn asked.

Kurt glared at him. "Your glasses are fine, dick."

"This is so illegal," Kurt reminded his friends. They rode in the police car behind a row of traffic. Puck beeped the horn agitatedly, wanting to get out of there. They were headed to the hospital to find out why Puck had a hospital bracelet on his arm; it could lead them closer to where Artie was.

"Can't you see the fun part in anything?" Puck sighed, glancing at Kurt.

"Yeah, we're stuck in traffic in a stolen police car with an obviously missing child in the back seat." He turned to Puck and cocked an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side. "Which part of this is fun?"

"I think the cop car part's pretty cool," Finn said in the backseat.

"Thank you, Finn. It is cool," Puck agreed. "Artie would love it." He honked the horn loudly. "Come on! Check this out." He turned on the sirens of the police cruiser and peeled away from the cars quickly.

"Oh, no. No, no, Puck!" Kurt yelled. "Don't do this!"

"Take it easy."

"Just try to call more attention to us."

Puck spoke through the microphone, and his voice blasted through the speakers on the car. "Attention." He drove onto the sidewalk. Everyone started yelling and scattering, clearing a path. "Attention, please. Move out of the way. I repeat, please disperse."

"Puck, stop the car," Kurt muttered. "I wanna get out. Stop the car. I wanna get out. Pull over."

Puck eyed a woman in a tight animal-print dress as she strode past the car, winking at the three men.

"Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack," Puck announced.

Kurt shook his head.

"Get off the sidewalk!" Puck smirked, chuckling to himself. "I should have been a fucking cop."

Puck, Kurt, and Finn sat in the chairs of the doctor's room, waiting for him to give them more information on why they'd been at the hospital the night before. The doctor sighed agitatedly.

"Look, I already told you," he breathed. "You came in with a mild concussion, some bruised ribs. No big deal." He pulled on his rubber gloves. "Although none of you could articulate how it happened."

"Do you remember how many of us were here?" Puck asked.

"Uh . . . I don't know. I think it was just you guys." The doctor stared at Finn holding Carlos. "Definitely no baby. And one other guy."

"That's our guy. Was he okay?"

The doctor nodded, sitting down in front of his elderly patient. "Yeah. He was fine. Just whacked out of his mind. You all were." He helped the old man stand and said, "All right, come forward and turn."

The man did what he was told. When his back was facing Puck, Kurt, and Finn, the doctor pulled down the old man's underwear. Finn closed his eyes, and Puck and Kurt abruptly turned around, cringing at the appearance of the old man's backside.

The doctor continued, "All right. There you go. And cough. Cough. Cough. Give me one more." The old man hacked out one more cough. "All right. Atta boy. Okay, Felix, you can put your robe on, and the nurse will be in here in a minute. I'll see you after the weekend."

"Thank you," the old guy said. "Thank you, doctor."

"Guys, I really gotta go," the doctor sighed, washing his hands thoroughly. "I'm sorry. I have a surgery up on the fourth floor."

"No, I know. But we just need a couple more minutes of your time." Puck reached into his pocket and pulled out a hundred dollars. He held it up to the doctor's face and cocked an eyebrow, smirking deviously.

The doctor nodded. "Yeah. Tuck it right in there," he said, nodding toward his jacket pocket. Puck did just that. "I don't want to re-sterilize. Walk with me."

At the front desk, the doctor pulled out a file. He sighed, opening it. All three guys stood by, waiting.

"Okay, here we go. Patient name, Noah Puckerman. Two-forty-five AM arrival. Minor concussion, like I said. Some bruising. Pretty standard."

"Do you mind if I look?" Kurt asked as he, Puck, and Finn followed the swiftly-walking doctor down the hall. "I'm actually a doctor."

"Yeah, you said that several times last night," the doctor breathed. "But really, you're just a dentist." He picked up another file at the desk. "Okay, this is interesting. Your blood work came in this morning. They found a large amount of Ruphylin in your system."

The guys looked at each other, hoping one of them would understand what the doctor just said.

"Ruphylin," the doctor said again, and then rolled his eyes. "Roofies. Commonly known as the date-rape drug."

"Wait, so, what are you saying?" Puck questioned. He swallowed hard. "I was raped last night?"

"Actually . . ." The doctor read over Puck's file again. "I don't think so. But someone did slip you the drug. I'm not surprised you don't remember anything."

"Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night." Finn looked at his friends. "Remember?"

"Yeah. How could someone have drugged all of us?" Kurt asked.

"I wouldn't worry about it. The stuff's out of your system," the doctor told them. "You're gonna be fine." He started walking away, but Puck caught him.

"Wait, wait, wait. Please, doctor. Is there anything else?" Puck sighed. "Like, something we may have been talking about, or some place we were going . . ."

"Actually, there was something," the doctor said. "You guys kept talking about some wedding last night."

Puck rolled his eyes. "Yeah. No shit. Our buddy Artie's getting married tomorrow. You know what? I want the hundred back."

"No, no. Easy. You kept talking about some wedding you just came from." The doctor thought for a moment. "At the, uh, Best Little Chapel. You kept saying how sick the wedding
was and getting all crazy about it." He backed away slowly. "Okay, I hope this helps. I really have to leave."

Puck pulled a paper and a pen out of his pocket quickly. "Best Little Chapel. Do you know where that is?"

The doctor's eyes narrowed. "I do. It's at the corner of Get A Map and Fuck Off."

As Puck wrote it down, he realized what the doctor said. He lifted his head, put the pen away, and sighed, handing the paper to Kurt. He folded his arms across his chest and stared at the doctor, annoyed.

"I'm a doctor, not a tour guide. Figure it out yourself, okay? You're big boys." And with that, the doctor trekked off. Puck shook his head, leading Kurt and Finn out of the hospital. They were going to Best Little Chapel.