And the one time he actually spoke up! (And I hope this actually surprises you all!) Because I know I was curious as to how exactly Matt ended up speaking up when he did in this episode.
VI.
Considering nearly every guy in this room had been a member of the football team, it probably would have been expected they would be able to handle loosing better than this. It was what the McKinley Titans did best after all. The last time the football team had a winning record, Matt was pretty sure Kurt's dad had been playing for the team. And after every loss, the same thing happened. They'd change back into their street clothes, mumble some words about how they would get them next time, bad referees, or botched calls. A few of the smarter players would advance conspiracy theories purported by the Ohio High School Athletic Association for the sole purpose of keeping them from dominating the state championship every single year. (Alright, those were also clearly delusional conspiracy theories, Matt admitted) And then they would all leave the locker room and head to whatever party was happening that night and proceed to forget that particular game ever happened in the first place. Only to start the whole cycle over on Monday when practice resumed.
Maybe it was the fact there wasn't going to be glee practice on Monday that was making it impossible to do anything but sit in Kurt's basement and just be depressed. There would be no more assignments of the week. No more competitions to influence the set list. No more dance practice. No more vocal coaching. Nothing. It was just over. They lost. No, not just lost. They got clobbered. Destroyed by the group of elitist machines led by the overly stylized hair of Jesse St. Douchebag. That was the worst part. Not just loosing. But losing to him.
Everyone here knew winning had been a long shot at best. During practice all week, Mr. Schue kept emphasizing they were doing this set for themselves, no one else. They were doing this because they loved these songs and they loved these arrangements. It wasn't about the judges. It wasn't about bringing home a trophy and saving the club. It was about honoring the fun they had all year in the choir room. But at some point during the week, clearly the seed had been planted in everyone's mind. It wasn't too late. Coach Sylvester might hate them but she was just one judge. There were still three other judges they could win over.
At some point they actually thought they would be able to at least place. If they placed, Mr. Schue might be able to argue for another year at least. But by the time they had finished holding the last note of "Don't Stop Believing", Matt knew no one disagreed when Rachel loudly proclaimed screw just placing, they were going to win the whole competition.
Matt wondered if Mr. Schue would preach so hard about the power of positive thinking if he could see the depressing scene that was playing out right now. It wasn't anything specifically planned. There had been very little talking on the long bus ride back to Lima. But somehow everyone (minus Puck and Quinn who remained at the hospital), had mutually decided to converge on the Hummel basement. Mr. Hummel, Mrs. Hudson and Mr. Abrams would stick their heads down occasionally to see if they needed anything, but there was really nothing that could be done.
They had needed to win. And they lost.
"This sucks." Finn sighed as he leaned his head against the basement wall. Rachel smiled and placed his hand in her lap.
"Eloquently stated as always Finn." Kurt quipped humorlessly.
"I can't believe this is really the end." Tina sniffed from her position on the couch, her hand intertwined with Artie's. "I knew it was possible but I guess I convinced myself we would actually win. Like at Sectional?"
"I think we all thought that." Mercedes said more softly than Matt had ever heard her speak, her head resting against Kurt's shoulder. "Apparently musical salvation only happens once a school year."
"And Monday I go back to laughing at you all." Brittany spoke up before looking at Santana. "Right San?"
"Yeah. Back to normal." The words lacked the usual stinging bite of Santana's usual speech. Look, Matt mused to himself, the Head Bitch actually does have a heart. Now there was a story even Jacob Ben Israel wouldn't believe.
"Maybe we could go around the room and tell what we're going to miss the most about each other?" Rachel piped in with the same suggestion Mr. Schue had shot down in his apartment. "I'll be more than happy to start."
"Shocking." Artie mumbled under his breath. "I don't think I'll miss that."
"I know this is going to sound really lame," Mike started hesitantly looking around the room before taking a deep breath to continue. "But I think I'm going to miss Mr. Schue the most. I mean I'll miss practicing with you guys and all but I'll see you in classes and in the hall." He smiled over at Santana before teasingly nudging her with his shoulder. "Unlike some people, I won't pretend I don't know you all. But I don't take Spanish so I won't see Mr. Schue all that often. "
"Yeah." Artie nodded his head before adjusting his glasses. "I can't say I'll miss his attempts at rapping all that much." The rest of the room chuckled in agreement as Artie continued. "But he's one of the few teachers that seem to actually care about us getting out of Lima. Well him and Coach Sylvester, but she's just scary."
The rest of the room fell silent as they nodded in agreement. They would probably remain friends after glee club was officially dissolved. Matt was fully willing to bet Kurt and Finn would probably end up related if the looks their parents shot each other were any indication. They might even manage to convince Santana and Puck into having a jam session or two. But it wouldn't be the same without the choir room and without Mr. Schue clapping and cheering them on.
"Do you think he knows?" Tina asked. "Do you think he knows that we'll miss him?"
"Sure he does Tee." Kurt assured her. "I'm sure he knows."
"We could make sure he knows." Matt spoke up quietly, the first words he felt he could say without feeling like crying every since it sank in they had placed dead last at Regionals. Mike was right. He would still be friends with everyone in glee. He'd probably end up in classes with most of them at some point. But getting Mr. Schue as a teacher was up to the scheduling gods and those rarely worked in his favor.
"I think that's the most you've spoken all year." Kurt blinked.
"What are you talking about Matt?" Finn asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.
"I mean we could tell him. Perform a song or something for him. We are still a glee club right?" Matt shrugged. "And we'll still be friends after this and that's thanks to him. And if we're all still friends then it's like New Directions didn't end right?"
The rest of his friends sat there in silence, starring at him as if he had grown a second head. Great. He knew that whole speech sounded incredibly nerd-like in his head. This was why he never said anything in groups. It always managed to come out wrong and make him feel like an idiot. "Guys?"
"Matthew, you may be incredibly quiet, but when you choose to make a point, you make it count." Rachel stood up. "That is a brilliant idea and I'm only ashamed I didn't think of it first."
"I guess we know who's going to be stealing credit for this idea." Matt heard Kurt mutter to Mercedes.
"I even know the perfect song." Rachel continued. "Kurt I'm going to need your computer."
Rachel's words flung everyone into motion. Mercedes called Quinn to see when the blonde was being discharged from the hospital and returning home. After filling Quinn in on the tentative plan, Mercedes hung up her cell with a smile. "Quinn and Puck should be in town tomorrow. We just need to text them where we're practicing and they'll be here."
"I think we should stage this like we did True Colors" Mike suggested. "Just us sitting on stools."
"And we should each give an example of how this year changed us." Tina suggested.
"Yes!" Rachel smiled widely. "I'll bring Mr. Schue into the auditorium to start and then we can go to…"
"Matt. Matt should go next." Kurt cut Rachel off with a wave of his hand. "If I thought it possible I'd argue he should explain but we have much too limited a time frame to both argue with you and pull this off. But since it's his idea, Matt should be the first."
"Yeah. Matt." The agreement echoed around the room.
"Matt doesn't want to go first." Rachel argued.
"Maybe he does." Mercedes answered. "What about it Matt? This is your idea. Will you start us off?"
The idea of starting anything off filled him with dread. He hated speaking in front of crowds. Even small ones. He knew it was an impossible concept for the large majority of this room to understand, but he was just fine being in the background. Even liked it. If he said no, clearly Rachel would have no problem taking over.
But they wanted him to do this. His friends wanted him to start them off. And there wasn't a better way to honor Mr. Schue then by doing this. Stepping out of his comfort zone and doing something a little bit terrifying.
"Yeah. I'll do it."