Kindness and Friendship
A/N: Sorry again for the late update. I will finish this but you will have to have some patience. University is robbing me of all my spare time.
Disclaimer: Give them to me and I'll be your best friend forever. Seriously. Who said I couldn't be bought. Roman Polanski's.
"Alfred, are you awake?" Another night had broken and Herbert stood in front of Alfred's door, waiting to be let in. A soft voice came from within but the words were incomprehensible. "Alfred?" again no answer. Herbert was already thinking over his options when a strangled sob came from within and, without a second though, he opened the door.
What he saw made his heart stop, Alfred was sitting against the headboard of the bed, his knees pulled up to his chest as if he'd tried to make himself as small as possible.
Slowly he approached him and when he was within reach he softly touched the boy's arm. "You didn't sleep?" it wasn't as much a question as a statement. The student hugged his knees tighter at Herbert's touch and shook his head. "I couldn't." Suddenly he seemed to remember something and in an almost pleading tone he breathed: "The professor…?"
"Is alright, I brought him to the library, it's always dark in there. I just thought he'd rather wake up there than anywhere else." Alfred just nodded as a sign he'd heard the count's son.
Herbert tried to comfort his little student by pulling him into an embrace but Alfred stayed still and didn't respond. His desire for contact from the last night had completely disappeared again. He pulled away as quickly as possible and looked scared and uncomfortable.
Looking at the young boy like this made Herbert's heart break. He searched his mind for another way to help him but the only solution he could think of didn't really appeal to him. Only when he saw fresh tears on Alfred's cheeks he decided to propose it anyway. He needed to help his love.
"Shall I get you Sarah?" He pronounced her name with a tone that made it sound like 'little witch'. "Maybe she can make things seem better…" He hated saying that but it had to be done. The fear that immediately woke in Alfred's eyes however made him wish he'd held his mouth shut.
"No! No… no please…" What was it with this boy? Hadn't he been in love with her only two days ago? "She said… that she loved me... and killed me."
Something inside Herbert wanted to reason with him, Alfred had killed the professor and had loved him too. But the stronger, egoistic part of him said that his rival had played herself out of the picture. Helping her to win Alfred's affections was sabotaging his own chances.
He kept quiet about it and watched as Alfred stood up. The student took a small book from a nearby table and held it out for him to take. "I forgot to give this back to you." He had changed like the tides, the sad, scared look was still in his eyes but he had forced himself to be strong now he knew that his mentor was safe.
"What is it?" Herbert tried to take the book but Alfred let go before he had it in his grip and it fell to the ground. They both went on their knees to pick it up and their hands touched above the black cover. Something in Alfred moved but he couldn't name it, a slight fluttering in his stomach when the soft, white fingers touched his own.
He settled for a déjà-vu, this scene was too similar to something that had happened at the Inn, when he and Sarah had both grasped for the same sponge.
Uncomfortable he stood up and handed it back to Herbert, who as also on his feet again. "A… a lover's guide," he stuttered, "I found it in the library and saw your… your name inside. I didn't mean to take it, it's just…"
"No problem, it's there for a reason isn't it."
Alfred smiled relieved.
"But you can do me a favour in return…" the smile faded and the count's son kept him in the illusion for a few seconds, just to tease. When the student's features turned to panic he took pity on him and laid out his plan: "You come out to take a walk with me, just get out of this dusty room for a while. I will promise to behave and afterwards, if you feel better, you can go to see the professor."
The doubt was clear in the student's eyes. "I don't know-"
The situation felt weird to Alfred, he was still scared of the blonde but he was the only one he could rely on. Herbert was the only one in the castle who had tried to comfort him, that had to count for something. After their encounter in the bathroom the count's son had been nothing but nice, although a bit clingy and far to fond of touching for Alfred's liking.
"Just a walk," slim fingers grazed his hand, "Nothing more." Alfred never found out what it was that pulled him over the edge. Maybe it was the gentle tone of the words, or the tiredness. But finally he gave in and nodded.
They walked, their footsteps clear in the snow outside the castle, even in the light of a half moon. At first they were silent, just walking next to each other without a word. Herbert enjoyed the company of the younger man and Alfred was miles away in his own thoughts.
After a while they started to talk and for the first time in months, ever since he'd left Königsberg with the professor, Alfred found himself enjoying an intelligent conversation. Against every expectation Herbert had read many books and had an excellent taste in music, something you wouldn't say at first sight. Once or twice he even felt a laugh escaping his throat and by the time they returned to the castle his opinion about the count's son had changed dramatically.
Yes, Herbert was feminine, clingy and knew almost every dubious comment in existence. But he was also caring, smart and courteous. He realised that he had judged the other man wrong and felt that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad to have Herbert as his friend. He felt lighter after their conversation, less worries crowded his mind and he felt safer as ever before.