I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, sorry that I was late with updating (to put it lightly) but you can even flame me on how bad my updating is as long as you read the chapter. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, I have no good excuse that I can really present but please know that I am continuing. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, please enjoy!
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, I don't own Skip Beat!
But a Sad Ending
'What the hell is this?' Ren thought to himself as he stopped half dressed in his dressing room for a drama he was guest staring in. Of course Ren already knew what he was starring at, the question was how it got there. 'Her of course.' Ren huffed as he touched the heart shaped kiss mark on his chest. 'It's getting really hard to believe that she's only a figment of my imagination.' Ren thought as he finished getting dressed. The worst part was that the mark looked like it was prepared to stay there for a few days as it was then eventually fade in a few weeks like all hickies do, which was a bad thing for any male model. (AN: To be honest, I don't know if that's true because I've never actually had one. Don't know if that's bad or not.)
Ren sighed and continued changing; somehow feeling the hickey in full force now, like the nerves under his skin tingled so intensely that it brought his focus to that spot. As Ren waited outside for the star of the drama to come out he started to sketch on a small notepad. He started off with the head of a human, also having to restart again and again due to the oddly sized or shaping of it, and then glided his pencil from the base of the head to make a small neck and curve out then down to make the human's shoulders. Ren had to stop then, it was finally time to start shooting, so he left his notepad face down and got into character as soon as the director said "action".
As soon as Ren got his ten minute break, he immediately started sketching again. He started from the left shoulder and drew a line down to no particular ending and then erased where an elbow should show, he made a second but shorter line on the inside of the body and made it end close to the first; he repeated this motion with the right. Next to the first smaller line, Ren drew another line with curves going in but had to erase a few times until it looked exactly as it felt.
Ren had to somehow see his dream girl even if it was through a drawing he crappily made. As soon as it started to look like a really human Ren decided to add clothing and hair. He had to really try and remember what her hair felt like. It felt spiky, not in a gelled way, but more of a casual style fit for an active work life. And she wore light clothing whenever there was a good evening but instead of anything like the baggy boy's clothes she typically wore Ren added what would be a short sleeved cotton gown down to a little more than mid thigh while standing.
Next were the startling eyes that Ren always saw, even when he closed his eyes they still glowed in front of him. They were wide and looked innocent enough to fool every other person that she never had even a single impure thought in her, they moved like liquid honey in the little bit of light he's seen her in or were raging flames when it was only her eyes loaning the light he needed to see any bit of her, but they were beautiful all the same, and unforgettable.
Ren added a small smile when he finished lightly coloring in her eyes. "I never knew you to draw Ren." Yashiro looked over Ren's shoulder to see what his charge was drawing. It may have seemed like Ren had drawn his dream girl in the ten minutes he had a break but truthfully he just blanked out whenever he was called back to the set. It was the near the end of the day and the star of the drama was having a hard time with her lines so they would have to come back tomorrow to wrap it up even with the same scene they were going to do in a few minutes. "Well it's been a long day. Here's some coffee." Yashiro gave the warm cup of black gold to Ren as he put down his sketching face down once again. "Oh, thank you."
"Tsuruga-s-san…" The starlet stuttered. "Um I'm sorry… it's my fault that this scene is taking so long. I'll do my best next time for sure!" Ren smiled warmly at the teary eyed girl and went to comfort her the best way he knew how. "It's all right. You don't have to worry about anything. Good scenes are created by filming lots of takes." Ren brought the back of his hand to just under one of her eyes and wiped a dangling tear. "There. Dry your tears now. If you cry, you'll wash away your confidence, too." It might have sounded corny in some peoples' opinions but as long as it got the job done Ren was willing to support his fellow actor.
When the starlet finally left, in a somewhat daze now, Yashiro decided to point out a very interesting fact. "Yesterday, you were nice to Kyoko-chan too, Ren." Mid-gulp, Ren glanced at Yashiro. "What?" Ren sat his drink down.
"You gave her some sincere advice. I wonder what made you change your mind." Yashiro looked back, thoughtfully, on all the other times he saw those two together. "What? Is something wrong?" Ren started to also think about all the times he saw Kyoko.
"No, nothing's wrong but I understand that you like Kyoko-chan's "guts" but somehow I think you don't really have good feelings towards Kyoko-chan, Ren. That's what I'm thinking." The two men starred at each other again for a moment before Ren started to actually think about the change in moods between him and Kyoko. "Huh?" Yashiro started to pick up on Ren's train of thought. "Maybe you were being nice to her without realizing it?... …" Yashiro paused to let it sink in. "Well that's more like you Ren. Actually, I always wondered why you treated Kyoko-chan differently from the others. You're friendly to everyone, Ren. Because Kyoko-chan does her best at work, right?" Yashiro got a small ego boost from Ren's continued silence.
"So I don't quite understand why you dislike Kyoko-chan…" Yashiro left his sentence hanging open for Ren to answer. "She isn't doing her best because she wants to bring out her best in this business…" That wasn't a clear enough answer in Yashiro's opinion. "What do you mean?" he asked Ren, whose mind was in a different place, a different time, but the same person.
Ren saw Kyoko as the sweet smiling child she was from when he remembered her. 'I might have been moved a little by her past…' – that was an obvious lie if there ever was a plainer one – "I was careless, I'll be careful not to be soft on her." Ren sighed as he got up to the next and last scene of the day. "What?" Yashiro shocked at the sudden decision.
"No you don't have to have a change of heart like that. It's okay you, you can be nice to her." Yashiro stopped walking behind Ren as soon as reached the scene's invisible line. 'I can't let that happen.' Ren thought as he walked to face the still troubled starlet. 'When I decided to join showbiz here in Japan… I vowed that I wouldn't bring my past into it.' Kyoko's happy child like face after he gave her the stone came back to the front of his mind. 'if my memories from long ago make me kind to her now…' Ren saw the way the Kyoko now smiled as she received her treasure again.
'I should shake off those memories with her.' Ren vowed as he left to be replaced by an entirely different character.
After Ren dropped off Yashiro at his apartment he headed to his own. Against his will, Ren was forced to eat at a small restaurant by his manager or would have had a day off if he didn't. As if that could actually happen Ren snorted to himself as he took the elevator to one of the highest floors in his apartment building. Ren tossed his keys, wallet, and anything else in his pockets into a tray near the door after he took off his shoes and immediately went to study a few of his scripts from a few other dramas he was doing.
At about eleven fifteen, Ren thought it was late enough to go to sleep. He was half tempted to stay up and wait for his dream girl but she probably would get angry at him if she did. So without further ado he went to sleep in his pajamas.
The second he woke up again Ren knew there was something wrong. Everywhere was pitch black and he was lying on something flat rather than his comfy bed. He slowly sat up and looked down himself to gratefully see that he was still wearing his pajamas. Then a small but clearly ringing giggle from his far right made Ren whip his head to the right and saw a lone tree in the middle of the darkness. It was huge and oddly familiar but it needed more to trees around it for him to see the Kyoto forest again. From behind the tree, his dream girl walked out wearing exactly what he drew her in the very same day.
She was the same but also different. She had the same slightly sun kissed skin he once glimpsed before but it faintly glowed now, the short hair that was unidentifiable before was clearly blonde, but the only thing that was the same was that he couldn't see all of her face. Though she was smiling, her mouth was all that Ren could see, a combination of her hair in her face and a deep shadow prevented any further mystery details to be solved. She giggled again and turned back to behind the lone tree.
Ren scrambled to his feet and went straight to his dream girl as he heard another giggle. "Hey!" he called out and rounded the tree. What he saw next was one of the trippiest experiences he ever had, even in a real dream. Right around the lone tree was an entire forest exactly like the one in Kyoto, down to the dirt covered path. He looked back around the other side of the tree but saw nothing, just a too dark area that looked less inviting than the forest on the other side. Ren went to the other side with the forest, and stared at the trees wondering if he should go forward or not. "Corn!" Ren saw his dream girl run through a path to his left far away from him. "Wait! I'm here!" Ren ran to her.
When he rounded the corner he was sure she took he skidded to a stop. There were thick trees and bushes with thorns blocking Ren's path but before he could find a way to go around it all he heard another giggle from behind him. As soon as he turned to the sound he caught a glimpse of her running to another left more than ten yards away from him. "How did you do that?" Ren asked as he ran to the new direction she was in. he could have sworn he saw her run left and not right but if she did then how could she have gotten past the little blockade there.
Ren and his dream girl continued going about this way. When he was sure that she went one way Ren's dream girl ran another way still calling out for him. It was getting harder and harder to keep up with her but Ren kept running, not knowing how he was going to get out of the maze like forest. A maze! Ren skidded to another halt. Just as the thought came to him so did fear, he being led around a maze. The second after the realization hit, Ren heard a new sound. Far to his right, his dream girl stood, glowing like an angel, with her face in her hands as she cried. She raised her head and screamed at what must be the top of her lungs. "CORN! WHERE ARE YOU?"
She wasn't leading Ren, she was following someone else and he was following her. She must have thought it was a game at first but, like Ren's, her worry started to set in and, like Ren again, she doubled her efforts to find the person she was following. Ren walked to her. If he came up to her quietly, then maybe she'll see that he was there looking for her too. It was when he was a yard away from her that he noticed that their surroundings had changed. They were in the clearing where Kyoko and he played in when they were children and his dream girl was crying in the middle of the stream. "Kyoko." Ren said softly. He didn't know what possessed him to say that name but now that he thought about it the resemblance was uncanny.
Dream girl slowly lowered her hands and looked up at Ren, her face still not clear enough to conform Ren's suspicions but that didn't stop him believing. She cocked her head to one side as they stared. "Who are you?" the question froze Ren on the spot.
"No one you know." The voice was familiar, he had heard it all his life after all, but more frightening than anything he heard even the fire of a gun or the cry from a dying person. A Tsuruga Ren, dressed in his usual suit and tie, strolled from the forest exit. His brown hair took on a lighter color in the shining yet missing sun as he went into the stream, not even minding that his expensive shoes and pants were getting wet. The real Ren started to thaw as the Ren in the suit made his way closer to the confused dream girl. "Do I know you?" she asked him now.
"No and unfortunately you won't be able to either." The other Ren stroked dream girl's cheek. "Oh, that's sad." She said wistfully and Ren nodded in agreement with her. It was then that the real Ren strode towards the two and smacked the fake Ren's hand away, who put it in his pocket instead. He pulled his dream girl to face him. "You don't remember anything about me?" he asked desperately only to have a stabbing feeling in his chest when she nervously shook her head no. "Why should she when you don't want anything to do with her Kuon?" The other Ren asked and somehow made his voice accusing at the same time.
Ren looked startled at the other Ren. "You don't want anything to do with her now so at least be kind enough to let her forget about you." The other Ren smirked. "But I don't want her to forget me!" Ren's subconscious spoke before he could stop it. "Oh so cruel Kuon. First you leave your parents, then you change your name and looks, and now you want a childhood flirt to remember you but not get anywhere near you. You're as bad as me Kuon." Ren laughed, looking more like a sinister man than a gentleman. "Look at you Kuon." He pointed at their reflections in the stream.
Kuon was now wearing a white airy button up shirt and blue jean pants, his eyes were blue again and his hair was a shining blonde which was nearly painful to look at in the bright sun. He saw Tsuruga Ren smirk at their reflections and was amazed by the difference but overall similarity between the two. "You changed everything you were, everything you would have been, just to prove yourself to Daddy and his friends, but you've lost a lot in the process. The man named Kuon is nearly nonexistent now." Kuon looked up at a serious Ren now. "In fact," he drawled slowly "I don't think you'll really be needing your friend here…" Ren suddenly pushed dream girl backwards into the stream but instead of her stopping at the rocky floor, she continued falling downward.
"Kyoko!" Kuon shouted as he fell on his stomach and reached for her in the suddenly deep ocean like water. He saw all of her then, her whole face and it was easy to see that she looked like she was nearly asleep except for her outstretched hand franticly trying to reach his while the other looked like it was being pulled down into the darkness. "Corn…" She was underwater and a hundred feet from the surface but the whisper still reached Kuon's ears to make his heart nearly stop all together. Kuon looked up to see Ren chuckling like he had heard a descent enough joke during a talk show interview. "…The reason you won't be needing your friend…" He smiled lightly at Kuon. "Is because the world won't be needing Hizuri Kuon any longer. Tsuruga Ren will be taking over now." And he lifted up his shoe and put it over Kuon's face. He let it fall with as much force he could muster and –
BIZZ! BIZZ! BIZZ! BIZZ!
Ren sat straight up in his bed. He brought his hands to his face and found a small layer of sweat on him. He looked at his rescuer, which was now giving him a small head ache, and turned it off. He shakily got up and walked to his restroom. He jumped a little when he saw his reflection but Ren forced himself to get a grip. He brushed his teeth and washed his face and started undressing when another image shocked him. On his chest, where the previously unwanted and unwelcomed heart shaped hicky was, now… … nothing. It was clear then in Ren's opinion. There were two facts that he now knew.
One, was that his dream girl broke her promise to visit again. And two, it looked like he was going to have to break his promise of never being close to his past. If he needed something to keep his real self rooted to earth, then Ren will stay with one part of his past, the happiest, to not lose himself. To not lose Hizuri Kuon.
Thanks for reading! So I think that the ending falls a little flat but that's the best I can think of. I'll definitely update NEXT SUNDAY or MONDAY so expect another hopefully good chapter then. I have to say that this will be one of the trippiest chapters I'll ever make but that's what happens when you think about a nightmare for split identity person, one killing the other off along with their loved ones. A big shout out to Shiroyuki76 for reminding me that I still have readers waiting for me to get off my lazy as and write. Thanks! I would have dedicated this chapter to you but… yeah… I bit on the downer side but I'll probably dedicate the next one to her. You are all going to love it! Hope I'm worthy enough to get a few good reviews but if not then I deserve it. Please have a nice day/evening!