I hope this is okay…. Eeek!
Her hands were tangled in blonde locks, hips grinding rhythmically into the hips of her girlfriend who lay beneath her, eyes shut; mewing in pleasure against the forceful, wanton kisses she lavished her with. She ran her hand down Arizona's side, gripping at her hip and pushing her down as she ground harder, feeling the satisfaction she craved as she was presented with the creamy expanse of Arizona's neck as the blonde stretched in satisfaction, one hand tangled in Callies raven tresses, the other cupping her breast gently, massaging in soft circles much to the Latinas delight. She allowed her lips to travel across her cheek, down her neck, stopping briefly to suck at Arizona's collarbone, the sweet taste of her perfume mixing with her own soft scent lifting onto Callies tongue and filling her with a heady aroma that made her close her eyes.
She continued to roam the blondes' body, hands holding her down firmly at the waist as she allowed her hot breath to wash over the sensitive flesh down her side and across her stomach which was now covered in the light goose bumps that had claimed the rest of her exposed flesh. Nipping lightly at Arizona's hips, she shifted further back, a whimper of discontent falling from her lovers' lips as she ceased grinding and sat back on her knees. Taking a moment to admire the woman beneath her Callie felt the familiar wave of admiration wash over her, smiling through the agonising want she had built up during their slight session of discovery and allowing her eyes to appreciate fully the beauty she had the pleasure of calling her everything.
She loved everything about Arizona, her bubbly personality, her huge loving heart and mostly the way she always knew just what to say, what to do, be it a kiss that took her breath away and made her forget her troubles or a simple hug that lasted as long as it took for the pain to subside. Arizona was constant, she was reliable and strong and she was someone Callie could easily relent to, someone she had long ago relinquished control to and as she knelt above her, staring at the blonde curls splayed across the pillows, lips rose pink and puffy upon her perfect porcelain face, she knew there was a simplicity in love she was glad to have found. All imperfections were left at the door, when they were alone like this, simple love was enough.
She felt the warmth of Arizona's hands on her arms, her voice softly willing her to lie next to her, seeing no need to do anything other than comply, Callie lowered herself next to the blonde, one hand reaching to slide underneath her small frame as she pulled her close in the embrace they found themselves fall easily into every night, her face buried in the soft tendrils of sunshine and her heart pounding until it caught the tempo being set by the blonde and gave into all too willingly.
The sound of the alarm rang through the room, muddy brown orbs widened instantly before closing in an attempt to block out the intruding rays of sun that crept like a thief through the tiny gaps in the blinds. Callie moaned slightly at the realisation of the hour she had to get ready for work, but also at the loss of warmth she felt where Arizona's shape still lingered in the pillows. She closed her eyes tight and took a deep inhale, the usual smell of pancakes hadn't snuck under her door and masque the room in the usual fruity scent, she also noticed the shower wasn't running and an instant panic took over her body.
She darted out of the sheets, and made her way to the living room not caring that her hair was about as shaggy as a woolly mammoth or that she was barely dressed. Stepping foot out of her room she paused, keeling over slightly, the sight before her eyes knocking the wind right out of her. She saw tears, sad, sympathetic and an unusually large amount of tears flowing from the normally steely gaze of Christina. No matter how thick and wavy her black hair was, there was no denying the tears cascading down the planes of her face, and even if she tried, the masses of crumpled, used tissues that surrounded her like Hansel and Gretel's markings would have called her a liar. Callie felt a sickness rise in her stomach, felt somersaults of the bad kind turning without supervised support inside and it almost brought her to her knees.
She stepped slowly towards her friend, hands clenched at her sides, shaking with a fear that she knew was about to claim her reality, a fear that would prohibit her ability to cease the somersaults and serve to further perpetuate them. She looked at Christina, neither exchanging a word, not needing to as the small glance from the Asian woman to the piece of paper that lay in the centre of the table like a precious artefact, said more than words ever could. Her mouth fell open slightly, her brows furrowed as she bent and shakily reached out for the paper, bringing it back towards her slowly she felt the deep ache in her heart as her breath finally escaped her lungs in a gasp that resounded in her flatmates ears and caused another stem of tears to fall down her face.
She shook her head wildly, willing her reality away; clenching her eyes shut tightly as she clutched the paper to her chest, wishing she hadn't woke up. Rising from the sofa, Christina played with the idea of offering a supportive hug, but solid gestures were not her forte and so instead, she inched her way towards her bedroom and left Callie rooted to the spot. For a while, silence lingered eerily like an unwanted stranger, but as the actuality finally hit her, and the light sniffles from the bedroom on the left snuck into the room, she turned on her heels and made her way back to her room.
She looked around, noticing the little things had disappeared, her hair brush lovely without the black paddle dotted in silver stars that she loved to run through her girlfriends hair on lazy days filled with warm showers and flannel pj's. Glancing at her cd stack she knew the next item that would have found its place in the dark depths or Arizona's hold all, sure enough, it was gone.
As she walked to the bathroom, still clutching the paper to her chest she finally allowed herself to break, glancing at the sink for that small item which was the first she ever initiated into their space, its absence causing her to fall to her knees gasping for breath. She gave way to the anxiety, her chest heaving as she tried to allow some air to enter her lungs, her mind screaming at her to calm down against the slow beating of her heart, as it ached in its place. A part of her was angry that she hadn't suspected to wake up this way, the other side angry that she had woken up at all, but what she never expected was to feel like she wished Arizona would have just ripped her heart out and left her numb, instead of aching with the pain she still felt at the love she had for her. She wished it was as easy as moving on, wished it was as easy as starting fresh, but even Callie, who had many people in her life pre Arizona knew that love was the one feeling that never left you. No matter how hard you willed it away, it would linger and occasionally, on days you found a little easier, you would catch a glimpse of the cause, and start all over again.
Falling to her knees she allowed her hand to move from her chest, her fingers unfurling as the familiar playful scrawl came into her tear blurred view, she sniffled and blinked before allowing her gaze to scan the blotchy rag, each legible word written on it only causing her further hurt.
I want you to know, that it doesn't matter where we took this road, someone had to go and I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better, but I want you to move on, so I'm already gone…
With the final word, she allowed the paper to hit the floor, moving almost motionlessly to sit on the cold tiled floor, pulling her knees up to her chest before resting her head and allowing the pain to settle in. Those words were her excuse, those words were a goodbye that couldn't be verbalised, those words were and ending that couldn't begin, but somewhere deep within them, hid a tiny glimmer of hope, and Callie knew what they said about hope being the feeling you have, when the feeling you have isn't permanent. One day she knew she would find someone t share her sense of permanence, or maybe she already had.
Okay chapter 2 done and dusted, the note Arizona left is made up of lyrics from the songs that helped inspire me to write this fic, is called Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson and I think it sums up Calzonas break up perfectly in parts. I hope you all enjoy, and yes Imma continue this one through till I get to the happy place. xxx