Updated 10/25/10. Just changed a few things. Please review.
The morning light startled her as fell unto her eyes, waking her from her nightmares. She leapt from the bed, looking around quickly. Her wide, brown eyes searched the room for her monster, but found nothing.
Haruhi sighed, satisfied. Kyoya was nowhere to be seen, a calming sight. It had been a month since she had seen anyone from the Host Club because of break, but that was how she liked it at the moment. She tried her hardest to keep her usual calm composure around the other Host members.
Tamaki apologized the next day and so did she because there was just no point in giving up their friendship. They drove the girl home that same day, leaving her bombarded with questions from her father; questions she didn't feel like answering.
As soon as she walked into her bedroom door, she collapsed onto the ground and broke down. She cried so hard her ribs ached; she cried so hard her throat was still dry; she cried so long she wasted two days that she could've spent telling someone.
But she couldn't. There was no possible way she could tell someone she was raped; they would see her as weak, small and a child (things she wasn't and refused to ever be). It had been a month since she had seen anyone from the Host Club because of break, but that was how she liked it at the moment.
The brown-haired girl shook her head furiously, grabbing at her hair to stop her thoughts. Thinking led to distraction and distraction led to vulnerability and vulnerability led to bad things. A shiver trailed up her spine as she shook away the nasty feelings.
"You're going to be late for school," her father called through the door. His voice was its usual soft, gentle self laced with something that sounded sort of like concern or worry. She chose to ignore it as she stripped slowly from her nightgown and panties, throwing them into a dirty pile of laundry. After that, the girl dressed herself in a new pair of underwear, an undershirt and a newly cleaned uniform.
Upon opening the door, she was bombarded with questions like when she had first come home.
"Aren't you going to shower?" her father asked. "You never bathed last night."
"You just said I'm going to be late," Haruhi grumbled. Her father shook her head and pointed at their clock on the wall of the dining room.
"I just said that so you'd get up. You still have thirty minutes until you need to leave. Go bathe."
"Yes father. Anything else—"
"Oh yes, I'll be working a little later tonight. I won't be home until a little after eleven, so could you please cook yourself something to eat and do your laundry?"
She sighed, nodding. "Yes dad." Haruhi began towards the bathroom, but was stopped by a hand. She turned around quickly, eyes widened. Her father stared at her with wide, open eyes.
"Are you alright?" he asked quietly. He stared directly into her eyes, but she knew better than to look down; that would let him know that there was something wrong. "You seem a bit out of it."
"I'm fine, dad. I was up studying all night, so I didn't sleep much."
It wasn't the truth, but it wasn't a lie either. She hadn't slept all night, her crying keeping her awake but being tired wasn't one of her top concerns.
"…Alright, Haruhi. I love you, darling."
"Love you too, dad." She said it without much emotion, but he didn't seem to notice. She watched him as he walked out of the house after grabbing his purse and jacket, swishing his hips as he went. She frowned but turned back to walk into the bathroom.
The warm bath water soothed her skin, making it feel less tight and less rough. She washed her hair in natural scented shampoo and conditioner, washing away the dirt and grease that had made it nasty. As she washed the suds from her short hair, she began to think about the Host Club. Still being in Host Club meant that she'd have to deal with Kyoya every day, regardless of how awkward and frightening things got.
She had a feeling deep within her bones that this day was going to be a very bad day.
Her house phone rang twice and with a sigh of defeat, she leapt from the bathroom and grabbed the phone which was on the wall beside the bathroom door.
"Hello?" she asked.
"HARUHI-CHANNNNNN!"
The girl couldn't help the small smile that spread across her always pale face. 'Good morning Hunny,' she greeted walking back into the bathroom to drain her bath.
"Where are you, Haruhi?" he asked through the phone.
Wrapping the towel around her body, she replied. "In my bathroom, trying to get ready. Why?"
It was silent on the other line for a minute, but she could hear whispers in the background. As she waited, Haruhi walked back into her bedroom and redressed herself. She pressed the receiver to the side of her face as she pulled on her dress pants.
"You need to come outside now," Hunny finally said. "We're waiting for you."
"Who's waiting?"
"Me and Mori! You're gonna take the limo with us!"
"Um…okay….I'll be out right now…"
"Okay! Bye, Haruhi-chan!"
She lazily tossed the phone unto her bed and grabbed her school bag, walking out of her room. Automatically, like she did every morning, she grabbed an apple from the bowl fruit on the counter and walked out of the front door. Knowing her hair was still wet made her grimace, but she quickly walked down the stairs where the limo was waiting. Mori leaned casually against the door of the limo, his usual static face staring down at her as she greeted him.
"Morning, Mori-senpai."
He grunted his reply, opening the door to the limo. She waited patiently until he signaled for her to step inside before actually getting in. To her surprise, Hunny wasn't the only when in the limo; there was also Tamaki and Kyoya, both who sat on the opposite side of the limo. Haruhi's eyes locked unto Kyoya's, causing her to visibly stiffen.
Hunny, who was beside her, pounced. "How ya been Haruhi-chan? We haven't heard from you in days!"
She couldn't answer. Her eyes still stared intently on Kyoya, who merely blinked back at her with a questioning look, like he had no clue what was wrong. He was a very, very good actor.
"Haruhi?" Tamaki asked. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, Haruhi, are you okay?" Kyoya repeated, feigning concern easily with a small smile. Fear rolled through her like waves, but she stiffly nodded.
"G-guess I'm just a little sleepy," she offered, obviously trying to make the topic of her being upset just stop. They all stared at her blankly – their eyes large and confused as they tried to depict if she was telling the truth or not.
"Are you sure you're okay?" he repeated.
"Yes, senpai."
Tamaki looked unconvinced and looked like he was going to ask again, but Hunny quickly started a conversation about his fluffy bunny.
"I think he needs a bath," he stated with a grimace. "He hates baths."
"But you don't want him to smell, do you?"
"Well…you're probably right," the blonde little boy admitted reluctantly. "He'll take a bath tonight when we get home from Host club."
The conversation immediately went off into a discussion of costumes; a topic Haruhi had no desire to be a part of. She looked at her hands, which we were crossed neatly in her lap as she half-heartedly listened to her friends talk.
"Haruhi…"
The teen looked up. Mori was staring at her with gentle eyes. "Yes, Mori-senpai?"
"I need to talk to you," Mori explained.
"About?"
"About what happened."
Her blood froze. "What?" She wasn't sure she had heard correctly. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Haruhi, I know what happened."
Can no one hear this, she wondered. The brunette looked around and found, to her surprise, that everyone was still happily conversing about costumes and Host Club things.
"When?" she asked in defeat, relaxing in her tense body finally.
"After school. Hunny and I are going to escort you home."
"…Alright."
Mori leaned back in his seat again, and angrily glanced at Kyoya; something she had only seen because she was still staring at him because she was unsure if he actually knew or not. She gulped, saliva traveling down her sore throat as the car stopped at a red light. It, for once, was silent in the limo; no one wishing to break the ice. Haruhi quickly glanced down at her feet, focusing her gaze on her shoes as the Host members stole looks at her, concern filling their eyes to the brim.
The car began to move once more, turning a sharp corner, pressing the only girl against Hunny. He made a small exaggerated squealing sound, giggling.
"You're crushing me, Haruhi!" he exclaimed, giggling harder. Tamaki, and Kyoya, who sat on the opposite side of Haruhi, Hunny and Mori, eyed him like he was crazy like they wanted to understand the humor in her crushing him.
"I'm sorry!" she apologized, sitting up at straight as she could, but to no avail; the car took another turn and sent her crashing into Mori. He merely grunted, shoving her off of him. She quickly apologized under her breath as the car pulled up to the front of the school.
Mori and Tamaki were the first ones out of the limo, both leaping out of the car as quickly as they could. Haruhi was about to hop out of the limo when Hunny climbed over her to jump out. She grimaced slightly at the slight irritation, but then proceeded to climb out. By the time she stepped out of it, the rest of them had already disappeared. She also began to disappear when a hand grabbed her elbow, causing her to whip around.
"What are you…?"
Kyoya was staring at her with dark eyes, which in turn, made her stop complaining. His grip tightened as he began to drag her away towards the school. "Just be quiet and make it look like we're just walking next to each other."
That familiar dangerous, eerie tone rang in his voice. Her throat was dry; her eyes wide and full of nervousness. Her hands trembled as he dragged her into the boy's bathroom. She immediately began to struggle, opening her mouth to scream when a hand connected with her cheek. The blow sent her tumbling backwards into the stall, her back scraping on the edge of something metal and sharp.
The boy also quickly entered the stall, closing and locking it behind him. When he turned back around, he was wiping of the lenses of his glasses with a corner of his shirt. "Now, Haruhi," he began in his usual voice. "You know better than to tell, right?"
But she was crying too hard to answer, so she just nodded slowly. One of her free hands traveled to her back to check for bleeding, but found none to her satisfaction.
"Good. Now, get on your knees." Kyoya's hands were already unbuckling his pants, letting them fall to the ground to show he was wearing boxer-briefs. She slowly crawled unto her knees, moving the hair out of her face as he pulled down his underwear to reveal his manhood.
"You know what to do, you whore." The word whore rang through her head as she opened her mouth, placing her arms on his thighs. She began to suck and lick at his cock, keeping her eyes closed tightly. She didn't want to do this but in the back of her mind she knew she had to. Kyoya groaned suddenly, his hands wrapping themselves around her neck to keep her mouth in place when he decided to thrust his dick in and out of her mouth. The girl gagged, finding it hard to breathe. The bell rang simultaneously with the teen boy's ejaculation, and Haruhi quickly swallowed the seed. She stood up to find Kyoya completely redressed.
He cleared his throat, and whispered, "If you leave now, I think the teacher might just let you into class without a pass."
She rushed out of the stall with no hesitations, dashing down towards her class. Her vision was blurred with tears as she came to the classroom door. The brunette wiped the tears from her face, clearing her throat herself. The taste of his seed came back up, causing her to gag slightly. Haruhi sighed, looking down at the floor as she straightened her clothes.
The classroom was silent as she entered the room, everyone turning to look at her with a shocked looked; Haruhi was never late to class without an excuse so this was a surprise. The teacher approached her, a scowl on her face.
"Where's your pass?" she asked.
"I don't have one, to be honest. I'm sorry."
She eyes her carefully, seeming to be considering questioning her further. Finally, she just gives a defeated sigh and waves for Haruhi to sit down in her desk in the back, between Hikaru and Kaoru. As she settles into her seat, she notices out of the corner of her dark brown eyes that the twins are exchanging worried glances back and forth.
"What?" she whispered, looking directly downward. There would be no need for the girl to stare at them directly—no—they would simply just understand who she was referring to. No one said anything at first, and she could tell they were hesitating for some reason.
"Where were you?" Kaoru asked in a whisper. "You're never late."
"And the sir-loves-a-lot said you got a ride with them this morning. They're all in class on time," Hikaru finished. Haruhi cursed under her breath; the twins were very observant as it turns out.
"I don't see how it's any of your business," she muttered below her breath.
"We were just worried Haruhi," Kaoru whispered back. "Sorry." Hikaru didn't apologize and huffed to himself before finally paying attention to the lesson. The other twin did the same, and so did she. She tried really hard to focus on her teacher as she followed through the lesson, but her teacher's voice was mostly just a loud blaring sound that wasn't coherent. Instead, her thoughts were consumed with images of early and her ears only heard Kyoya's moans as he urged her further. The familiar sick feeling formed in her stomach which really didn't help her focus either. Finally, the bell rang and the students all stood up to bow to the teacher. Haruhi gathered her things and began to follow after Karou to French when a hand grabbed her arm. She twisted around, frightened and wide-eyed to find Hikaru blinking back at her. She softened, yanking her arm from him.
"Yes?" she asked. She had tried to keep her voice steady, but she thought she sounded a little upset. But it could have been just her.
"Haruhi...why did you come to class late?"
"I already told you—"
"And with your hair messed up, and your eyes all puffy and your shirt ripped in the back?" he asked. She stared back at him, unsure of how to answer that. She didn't know any convincing lies for this.
"Hikaru, I think you're just paranoid. I'm fine."
"Haruhi, tell me the truth."
"The truth is that I'm fine, Hikaru. It wouldn't make sense for me to lie."
"Haruhi—"
"We're going to be late for French. Can we go now?" She really hoped to herself that he would just drop it already, but she knew she wasn't being a very good actor today; it was inevitable that people would start catching unto her actual mood. But Hikaru just shrugged his shoulders and started a topic about his mother's new designs for the next summer.
XX
The Host Club was very empty today, but some of the regular customers had still bothered to show. Haruhi was sitting in the corner, staring absently out of the window when her regular sat down in front of her. She twisted her head to stare at her slowly, giving her the same usual sad smile.
"Good afternoon, Haruhi-kun!"her customer said, bowing her head.
"Hi," Haruhi replied too quickly. Her customer laid a hand on Haruhi's, and looked straight into her eyes.
"What's wrong Haruhi?"
"Oh, I'm just tired…"
"Were you up all night again?"
"Yeah, I had to study and clean up. My dad was out working all night, so I also needed to cook him something to eat. But it's alright, I'm used to it." Haruhi flashed her usual large, innocent eyes at the girl who in turn squealed and giggled. They began to talk briefly until they were interrupted.
"The Host Club is now closed for the day," Kyoya said softly placing a hand on Haruhi's shoulder. She stiffened visibly, but immediately softened when he pinched her hard. Her customer stood up, bowed and promised to come again soon. As she walked away, so did Kyoya, leaving Haruhi to sit in the chair. She stared at the other chair in silence until someone sat down in it.
"We can talk now," Mori whispered.
"Look, Mori, I don't know what you're talking about-"
"I heard him, Haruhi."
"Heard who? You're not making any sense." She was trying very hard to make it seem like nothing had ever happened but he was making it increasingly hard with his determination. He stared at her with his usual dark, intense eyes like he knew what she was trying to do. It was starting to feel really awkward now, and she didn't like that. "Mori-senpai, I know you're concerned but I'm fine," she tried.
"But I know what happened, and that's not fine."
In all her months with the Host Club, she had never heard Mori so out of character. He spoke so intensely, like she was his little sister.
"Who else knows?" she asked, giving up entirely.
"Only Mitskuni."
"Hunny?" That was surprising. How come he hadn't said anything? Was only Mori concerned?
"You need to tell someone, Haruhi."
His words brought her back to life, the blood that ran through her veins growing cold. She stared at her senpai with wide eyes and disbelief written all over her face. She couldn't tell anyone. Ever. If she did….she could already tell that horrible things would happen.
"I can't," she admitted quietly.
"Did he threaten you?"
"Yes, but-"
"Haruhi, Mori. We're having a meeting," Kyoya quickly interjected as he rushed to the table. His eyes were hidden by shadows, which wasn't comforting at all. Haruhi nodded her head, leaping from the table and rushing to all of the other hosts who were sitting at a large table. Mori and Kyoya stared at each other back and forth, both waiting for the other to move.
"I know what happened," Mori said.
"What happened? I wasn't aware that anything had happened."
"You know what I'm talking about."
"If you lay another hand on her, I'll-"
"Do what? Tell someone? Who's going to believe you, hm?"
Mori's hands tightened into fists and felt himself getting increasingly angry. Before he could say anything further, Kyoya waltzed way with a little bounce in his step. The tall quiet man followed after, sitting beside his cousin who was waiting patiently.
"So," Tamaki began. "I've decided that the host club is going to go on a trip."
"A trip? Where?" Hunny asked bouncing up and down in his seat.
"Yeah, where boss?" asked the twins in their usual unison.
"I was thinking somewhere different for once. I was thinking Russia!" he announced with a bright, prince-like smile. Haruhi moved back in her seat, looking down at her lap. A whole trip away from safety with the man who raped her, and all the others who were clueless…except for Hunny and Mori. It didn't seem like it would be a good idea for her to go on the trip with everyone else; who knows what could happen.
"What's wrong, Haruhi?" Tamaki asked. "Did I say something wrong…?"
"I hate traveling," she lied easily since it was sorta true anyway. "Do I have to go?"
"If you wish to pay off your quota by the time you graduate, yes," Kyoya answered with a sly smile that no one seemed to notice.
"Can't I just pay it or something?"
"Do you really think you will be able to pay for the vase anytime soon?"
"…Maybe…"
"Taking that as a no, I suggest you go on the trip."
She stared at him like she couldn't believe he was actually blackmailing her into going on the trip with everyone. She looked around the table and found that everyone was staring at her as they waited for her answer. She gave a defeated sigh.
"Fine, but I'm going to hate every second of it," she announced it.
"Yay, Haruhi-chan is gonna go with us!" Hunny exclaimed happily. Mori grunted in response, shaking his head slightly.
"What exactly are we going to be doing there, boss?" Kaoru asked, crossing his legs.
"Well, we go sledding and skiing. I'm sure there will be plenty of things for us to do," Tamaki replied like he had expected someone to ask this.
"How exactly am I going to get there?" Haruhi asked when realization dawned upon her that she couldn't go; she had no passport and certainly didn't have the money to afford a plane ticket. She also wouldn't be able to afford the necessary gear for all the activities that had planned on doing.
"I could take you to get a passport tomorrow. And don't worry about everything else, I'm paying for all your expenses."
It was Hikaru who said this, which for some odd reason sent warmth into her heart for a brief second.
"Alright, then."
"I think that's all I needed to discuss…oh! Yes! Does anyone have any suggestions for a cosplay? We haven't dressed up in awhile."
"It's been three days," Hikaru added with an eye roll.
"Regardless, any ideas?"
'We could dress up like superheroes!" Hunny exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Or we could just use one of our old cosplays," Haruhi suggested. She hated when they made her dress up; it was annoying and totally not needed for anything.
"As nice as that would be, that's not exactly what I had in mind when I said cosplay. I meant new cosplay, sweetie."
"Yeah, yeah. What a waste."
They continued to discuss new cosplays for another fifteen minutes until they finally decided on using Hunny's superhero one. Then the meeting was over and it was time to return home.
"Haruhi, do you need a ride?" Kyoya asked as she was packing her bags. She frantically shook her head, stuffing her things in her bag faster.
"No. I'll walk."
"Don't be silly. I insist," he pressed, moving closer.
"No thanks, Kyoya."
"Haruhi, just accept the ride."
"But I don't need one—"
He grabbed unto her arm, yanking her closer to him. She steadied her breathing as he moved his lips to her ear.
"Say yes, Haruhi."
"That's enough Kyoya," Mori said grabbing Haruhi from him. They glared at each other. "Haruhi said no, so that means no. Or do you not understand that?"
"What are you trying to say?" Kyoya asked tightly, his voice growing dark. Haruhi pressed her face to Mori's chest, and silently hoped they wouldn't fight or anything. It was already bad enough.
"That you're an arrogant greedy prick."
"Why thank you. I'll have to remember that."
"You used her!" Mori shouted, his voice growing loud. The girl suddenly started to wish she had never came to school today. She could hear others starting to walk over, and suddenly panic grew in her chest.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Kyoya insisted evenly. Mori pulled Haruhi away from his chest, making her look at all the Host members who were staring with very wide, confused eyes.
"Tell them, Haruhi. Tell them what happened!"
Kyoya began to speak for her, "Nothing happened—"
"I didn't say your name! Tell them, Haruhi!"
She could feel everyone's eyes on her, and her stomach started to hurt really bad. She looked around her, the colors starting to blur together. Her chest heaved in and out rapidly, her head aching terribly.
"I-I uhh…um…"
Haruhi began to feel lightheaded, and grabbed her bag from the table behind her. She started run off when she fell down, knocking the side of her head on the corner of the table. The room was now spinning in circles, everything just becoming one single image. Sounds died and it was like she was deaf, but she could still hear the blood behind her ears.
She opened her mouth to ask for help, but a pain erupted in her lower stomach and she felt like her insides were on fire. A scream broke free from her throat and then she didn't know where she was anymore.
The teen was standing in a pool of black, looking around frantically. She knew she was searching for something, but she wasn't sure what. She ran everywhere, continuing to use her eyes to search for whatever she looking for. Suddenly, a light fell over her and began to try to run away from it but it kept following her.
She was scared of the bright light, but it didn't make any sense of why. She looked up at it and she could see someone's face; it was familiar face. She suddenly could hear a soft voice that grew louder and louder.
"Haruhi…please wake up…please Haruhi."
The voice was sobbing brokenly, and it sounded so sad. It was coming from the direction of the light. She ran towards it, running so fast she thought she was flying.
And suddenly, Haruhi was lying in a hospital bed with her father holding her hand. He was staring at her with tear-filled eyes that were open with excitement.
"Oh my God! You're awake!" he exclaimed wrapping his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. She felt uncomfortable, and wiggled away from him. He immediately let go off her, and looked down at his hands.
"What happened?" she croaked.
"You had a panic attack…but there's something you should know, Haruhi."
"What is it?" she asked quickly. Did they examine her and find some evidence or something? Oh God, what Kyoya say? Could they get DNA now?
"The doctors took a blood sample from you while you were sleeping and…"
He began to sob hysterically once more, holding her hands close to his face. She could feel his tears on her soft hard which sort of bothered her; she hadn't seen her father cry like this in such a long time that it was heart wrenching to look at him like this. She started to feel tears come to her own eyes, which were blinked away quickly to avoid crying right now.
"And what…?"
"They…they say you're pregnant!" He sobbed, wailing it like he had been stabbed in the heart. She stared at him with parted lips and unmoving eyes. Pregnant? Her?
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