Authors note:-

You might keep thinking that Brooke personality keeps changing in this chapter but I just want to tell you that I did that for a reason. And I'd really like to thank JustLikeBrookeDavis for reviewing because I haven't really gotten much reviews in any of my stories but there's always one that keeps me going and in this one it's her. I would also like to add that there might be some mistakes in this and that's because I didn't have enough time to read through it because i wanted to get it posted as soon as possible in addition to that i'd like to say that this story is going to get kind of violent and full of crime soon i just need to find the perfect time.

And to the Brucas fans there will be some Brucas coming up but just not in this chapter.

Story:- Paint It Black

The Lightning Strike

When did my life get so fucked up?

Was it when my mum found me putting on her favourite lipstick? Or was it when I kicked my first babysitter because I wanted my parents? Or was it when I chose to dress up as a slut and not only ended up impressing the boys in my year but my dad.

It was nearly the ending of freshmen year and just started getting ready in my cheerleading uniform that I worked so hard for, for the last game of the school year.

I smiled at my appearance in the mirror and just tucked a loose strand from my pony behind my ear and stuck a bobby pin there just in case it felt out during the game. I sighed as I heard my parents fighting downstairs about the flight they booked for the next vacation away from me.

I've always planned on asking them if I could tag along but I would always leave it to the last minute getting too scared but whenever the day came I would always plaster a big fake smile on my face hoping that they will look past it and actually realise that it's all fake. That it's all for fucking show.

I tried humming to myself to block out the drained shouting and cursing I cursed myself when it didn't work so I just picked up the remote which lay on the desk I had since I was six that me and my dad made ourselves while Victoria brought us snacks and made sure we got our refreshments. I pressed my finger hard on the plus button making the voices and music from weird science surround me.

''Lady, I wanna get to the bottom of this. ASAFP''.
''Oh, so do I''.
''But first I'd like to... butter your muffin.''
''Why do you have to be such a wanker?''
I giggled as i said the last sentence along with the movie ''because I get off on it!'' i always loved this movie. It always made me forget about the world around me and my position in life.

I cringe slightly when I hear the front door bang shut and look out my window watching Victoria get into her car and pulling out of the drive way not caring about leaving me behind and who she left behind with me.

She'll be back before breakfast tomorrow anyway. I'll walk downstairs after spending hours making myself look good then walk into the kitchen and just sit at the table and watch my mum and dad play happy fucking families. But the scary thing is the fact that I always end up playing along with them.

I quickly speed up my routine and just add in the finishing touches and hope I can get it done fast enough before he comes in here. I quickly fit my feet inside my white plimsolls and grab my duffle bag carrying my clothes for the party after.

I let out a sigh of relief once I've reached downstairs and look in the mirror nearby the front door to see my overall look and tuck the strand that seemed to fall out again inside the bobby pin. I let out a yelp when a hand grips the top of my arm really hard feeling it squeeze in a bit of my muscle and then bite my bottom lip hard enough to taste some blood along with a slight taste of metal.

"where do you think you're going?"

Fucking haircut.

I look at myself in the school toilet mirror and images start flooding my mind. Images of the night I had enough.

I quickly swipe away the tear that somehow dropped from the end of my eye to the tip of my nose. Grabbing the orange cylinder from my back pocket I unscrew the lid and place the pills inside my mouth and feel as it moves down my throat while being drained away with my saliva.

I haven't felt like this before.

I stopped feeling like this when I came here; and now the feelings back. The feeling when I feel like shit, the feeling when I am shit. My dad was right, I can't do anything.

I shift a bit when I hear my phone go off.

"Hello?" I curse myself for sounding so broken. No one's meant to know I feel broken or hurt. I'm meant to be the invincible mysterious brooked Davis. The new girl who nobody knows about, they're clueless as to where I came from.

"Hey, stranger. Where you been?" It's Haley.

"Just been busy working at the diner" I actually mentally smile at myself for being do proud that it didn't come out like a lie.

"Ok, just make sure you don't work yourself up to much" why does she have to do that? Why does she have to act like she cares? I don't deserve this; any of this.

"Will do" I barely whisper as I drop my pills back into my pocket and place my phone in-between my ear and shoulder as I get my earphones out from my bag.

"Nathan and I are sitting at the benches with the rest of the gang, why don't you come over?" I let out a sigh. It's not like I don't want to meet them, I just want some time to myself.

"Okay, sure. Let me just quickly go to the toilet first kay?" I need more time. I don't want them to see me like this.

"Yeah, sure. See you soon" I say my goodbye and quickly shut my phone and place it in my pocket and grab the pills while I'm at it. I look at myself in the mirror as I digest the pills.

I need the most I can get for this.

I'm fucking Brooke Davis. The Brooke Davis they know doesn't cry or worry about meeting up with her friends. She just fucking shows up.

I grab my earphones and plug them into my phone and ears as I wash my face.

Cold is the water

It freezes your already cold mind

Already cold, cold mind

And death is at your doorstep

And it will steal your innocence

But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this

And you are not alone in this

As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand

Hold your hand

Then why don't I fucking feel someone holding my hand? Why aren't my fingers intertwined with someone else's?

Why am I so fucking alone?

They're all smiling; they don't notice anything different about me.

Why aren't I happy about this?

I should be shouldn't I? They haven't noticed how fucking broken I am. I just need someone to fucking rescue me; but who will?

I watch as Nathan stares at Haley as she talks to me. It's different from the look that Deb gives her. It's got more… I don't know. But it's something different, something I haven't seen before.

I then watch as Haley talks to me. She's so unaware of him looking at her like that; I look bore into her eyes and notice how full they are. There isn't one indiscretion. She feels safe.

She has a man who will die for her in a second; she has Deb and a whole family. Her family isn't like mine; her parents actually cared about her first word.

She's so shielded from the harshness of the world and she doesn't even know it yet.

Like how Nathan wouldn't let anyone tell anyone about the drugs they deal or how when someone ever did mention it he would just give them a look.A look carrying de- what the fuck is with me and stupid looks? And why do I suddenly feel like slapping Haley? And shouting at her and telling her all about what's out there. Stupid naïve Haley.

I think I feel the pills finally kicking in.

I look outside the window and notice how blue the sky looked today. Blue like the weird set of eyes I saw the other day. That guy was hot.I let out a giggle when I try to picture him topless but immediately regret it when my whole English class including my teacher stare at me.

They're all looking at me like I have three heads. I look down when I hear a shuffle next to me and open it when I notice it's a note from Haley.

OMG Did the Brooke Davis just giggle.

I sigh and just stuff the paper in my pocket but get another one thrown at me. This time its Nathans handwriting

Are you fucking high?

Yes, Nathan thank you for spotting, what colour lollipop would you like?

"Brooke do you find something amusing?" my head shoots up from the sound of my name being said; It's Mr fucking-Jones."Nope" I look down after having enough of all these fucking heads turned my way."Good, now carry on from once" what the fuck? Carry on from what? I look over at Haley and she points to the book ahead of her. Oh, thanks Haley.

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines

he wrote a poem

and he called it "chops"

because that was the name of his dog

and thats what it was all about

his teacher gave him an A

and a gold star

and his mother hung it on the kitchen door

and read it to his aunts.

that was the year Father Tracy

took all the kids to the zoo

and he let them sing on the bus

and his little sister was born

with tiny nails and no hair

and his mother and father kissed alot

and the girl around the corner sent him a

Valentine signed with a row of X's

and he had to ask his father what the X's meant

and his father always tucked him in bed at night

and was always there to do it

once on a piece of white paper with blue lines

he wrote a poem

he called it "Autumn"

because that was the name of the season

and that's what it was all about

and his teacher gave him an A

and asked him to write more clearly

and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

because of the new paint

and the kids told him

that Father Tracy smoked cigars

and left butts on the pews

and sometime they would burn holes

that was the year his sister got glasses

with thick lenses and black frames

and the girl around the corner laughed

when he asked her to go see santa claus

and the kids told him why

his mother and father kissed alot

and his father never tucked him in bed at night

and his father got mad

when he cried for him to do it

once on a paper torn from his notebook

he wrote a poem

and he called it "Innocence: A Question"

because that was the question about his girl

and thats what it was all about

and his professor gave him an A

and a strange steady look

and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

because he never showed her

that was the year Father Tracy died

and he forgot how the end

of the Apostles's Creed went

and he caught his sister

making out on the back porch

and his mother and father never kissed

or even talked

and the girl around the corner

wore too much make up

that made him cough when he kissed her

but he kissed her anyway

because it was the thing to do

and at 3 am he tucked himself into bed

his father snoring soundly

that's why on the back of a brown paper bag

he tried another poem

and he called it "Absolutely Nothing"

because that's what it was really all about

and he gave himself an A

and a slash on each damned wrist

and he hung it on the bathroom door

because this time he didnt think

he could reach the kitchen-

Like I said a million times before ,Fuck life.