And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you.
It was the knowing glances the women on the team threw at me. Kensi and Hetty were the worst for it; Kensi always nudged me and told me to 'go for it'. I would slap her arm away and told her to ask Callen out then we would talk. It usually shut her up.
Hetty would always bail me up somewhere; even though she made it seem as though she 'accidently' bumped into me at the coffee bench or the change rooms or even the bathrooms, and give me wise pieces of advice which would subtly hint that Eric and me would be great together.
When Abby came into town; jealousy arose in me like I have never felt it before. It was ridiculous. It felt weird, but I was angry for Eric noticing her other than me. The one who had been there the whole time; silently begging for him to notice me. Abby was found safe and all was good. They had both decided that the long distance thing was a bit too hard and called it a day. Much to my relief.
Then came Nell. She was the new tech girl at NCIS. 'Someone to help us with the ever mounting backlog of cases'. Eric took an instant liking too her. And me, well I just hated her. She was attractive with her short and funky dyed orange hair; flawless skin and bright green eyes. The problem with her is that, she's so nice. She can't see Eric the way I do though. She's bright, intelligent, always up for a good laugh, and she gets along with everyone. She was our assistant. I ignored her most of the time though; Eric told her that I was a hard shell to crack and to give me some time to warm up to her. Even though we both knew that was a total load of crock.
Everyone noticed my insecurity around her; and, just to get us better along with each other; Eric took me and her out surfing one night, the way we used to.
He sat me down on the sand while Nell was out in the waves and told me that no one was ever going to get in between us; that we were still Batman and Robin. The dynamic duo. It was just that Nell was the new girl; she needed help to get on her feet. Then he reminded me of my first day and all my stuff ups. He promised me that there was never going to be anyone else other than me.
It's always you.
Those words will forever echo throughout my mind. They're a constant reminder that I was his and he was mine; even if we weren't romantically linked.
His hands almost fit perfectly in mine as he pulled me up with him; the waves were crashing along the shore as the warm wind blew through my dark brown hair.
We walked towards the ocean and watched the wave's crash into the ocean. The large moon lighting up the waves.
I let go of his hand as Nell ran out of the ocean with Eric's board, a large grin on her face. She tells us how amazing it was out there and we should go out. I see the twinkle in her eyes and note how my own eyes show that same one whenever I'm around Eric.
I decide to bow out gracefully.
I walk home alone again; turning down Eric's request to drive me home. I don't know where I'm going, but before I actually comprehend it; I'm standing out the front of Callen's newest 'jive'.
I gingerly walk up the many stairs and into the building; noting the run down look to it. I knew he would be awake at this time so I knock on his door; hoping that he wouldn't mind me staying here for a bit; just until I decided what I should do about Eric and Nell.
When he opens the door; he's still wearing the same clothes he was during the day, he looks wide awake. His eyes narrow at me slightly as he asks what I'm doing there.
I shrug and say that I just need somewhere to chill for a bit and figured that since you don't sleep; I figured it would be cool if I came over to keep him company.
He seems okay with that explanation as he opens his door further; allowing me to walk further in. I see the many cans of soda on the coffee table and the made-up bed on the couch.
I sit down on the floor in an Indian type position and sigh; I ask him if it's a bad idea to want to be in a relationship with someone you work with. He just shrugs and sits down on his couch; drinking from his opened can of soda and placing it back onto the couch. He tells me that I can't control who I fall for, but I can control what I do about it. He says that he's noticed my jealousy around Nell and asks if what I'm feeling for Eric is worth fighting for.
Slowly, I shrug my shoulders and tell him that I wasn't so sure anymore. Not with Nell around. Not with the way she looks at him.
Callen nodded and folded his hands in his lap; also shrugging at me. He explains that if I feel as strongly as he thinks I do about Eric that I should take the chance and tell him; because I may not have another chance.
I looked at my watch and smiled at Callen, standing up. I thanked him and walked towards the door; pulling my phone out of my pocket.
Callen tells me to have a good night as he opened the door for me; saying that he'll see me tomorrow. I send a text to Eric telling him to meet me at the pier.