Author's Note: Thanks you all so much for the reviews! I know this isn't the best story that I've ever written, nor the longest. But I've decided that I'm going to finish this story here and now! Hor-ah!
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I don't remember how this happened.
Nor do I remember how I got here. All I know is that I'm now on my couch with tears falling hot and heavy on my cheeks; a half empty bottle of wine on the glass coffee table. For some reason, I've always found alcohol as my comforter. Ever since I was legally able to drink. I've always turned to it in my time of need.
I know it's stupid because it's something that can kill me so quickly. I love it; it's warm embrace usually taking me in the early hours of the morning. Eric was always telling me that I should stop drinking so much, but Eric wasn't here was he. He was with her probably.
He was probably with her making her life better, making her life so much lighter. While mine was so much worse and so much darker. I hated him in that moment. I hated him because he's made me care. He's made me love him to the extent where I can't even look at another man. There was once a time when I was in love with Callen for God sake. But that soon changed when I looked at Eric in that one different way. When he took my hands and promised me that he wouldn't hurt me the way everyone else had.
He was different and I hated him for it. Because he could make me cry with a look; he could make me cry with a word.
I was so caught up in my misery that I didn't even hear the door opening or closing. Nor did I hear the gentle footsteps making their way over to me.
He was there in front of me; looking at me with those eyes which I could loose myself in for hours on end.
He was crouched down; his hands on the glass, taking it away from me so I couldn't hide behind it any longer. He was there because he was searching for answers to the unasked questions.
His eyes asked me the question which both of us were too afraid to ask.
Are you in love with me?
I don't know how to respond; there's so much silence between us that it almost pains me to breath in front of him; I know I'm not as drunk as I'd like to be; but I still have enough sense to know that leaning forward, kissing all my hurt and pain away would most likely ruin everything between us.
Instead I ask him in a voice I barely recognise as my own why?
Why did he kiss her? Why the hell did he do it in front of me?
And with a small smile on his face he tells me that everything isn't what it seems and that he never kissed her back. He's telling me this in the way he told me that very afternoon. Like if he repeats it I'd understand what he's trying to tell me. But I can't focus; everything is fogged up like a window. I can barely concentrate.
He's staring at me with his eyes begging for me, begging for my attention. I don't know why he is; but I can feel my tongue unconsciously lick my unusually dry lips. My throat has constricted as I explain to him that I don't want to know if he has a relationship with her, that I don't care anymore because I'm too tired.
Before I comprehend my thoughts, tears have once again fallen down my cheeks and his hands are there. On either side, brushing them away with his thumbs.
He wants me to stop crying; I know I hurt him when I cry because he's told me that before. He's told me that so many times before when I have cried. If it's from heart break or actual pain; he said he hates it because he doesn't feel like he can stop it.
I lean into his touch as he continues to stroke my cheeks with his thumbs. I want to admit everything, I want to admit that I love him so much that it hurts. The pain of that reality hurts to much to even say.
He leans ever so closely to me; I can feel his breath on my face. His breath smells like spearmint while his deodorant smells like the one I've dreamt of so many nights in the past. Ever so quietly, so quietly that I'm not even sure that he asks me, he asks if I love him.
My heart feels so tight inside me that I don't think my chest could keep it inside. I nod; ever so slightly, I'm not sure if it was the right thing to do. The right answer to the question.
Before I know it his lips are pressed to mine. It's a single fluid motion which makes blood rush to my brain, it makes my heart thump double time; it's a single fluid motion which tells me that all that worrying about her, all those subtle little hints which make me think that the love has been between us all along. And I don't once hesitate to bring my hands to the back of his next and pull him closer to me.
He pulls back and tells me he loves me more then anything in the world, that he loves me more then he ever thought possible. He looks at me, searching my eyes, and asks if I feel the same.
I look at him and everything falls into place. The little things which have led us here tonight. To share the kisses we have both longed for. I look at him and I smile softly.
"I do"
And it's all either of us have to say tonight.