Beverly Hills

"…from Highland to Clayton, these bitches are hatin'

Cause the shit we're saying is the shit we're playing

If we don't make it we'll take it

If it ain't real we'll fake it."

-California, Hollywood Undead

Naruto swore he could've pissed on himself. Itachi was probably one of the coldest people he had ever met (maybe the only cold person he had ever met), and it was creeping him out. Konoha weather was supposed to be hot. Hot as in smoldering, melt-your-ice-cream-in-two-seconds hot.

But Itachi made it seem unpleasantly frosty.

The mansion was nice enough, for it contained fifteen rooms and eleven bathrooms, a humongous pool, and a bubbly jet Jacuzzi. Yet Itachi was not as inviting. Naruto was gaping when Sasuke openly glomped his frigid older brother, along with a question-

" 'Tachi, ya need to loosen up. Otherwise your dick will go through major shrinkage-"

And then the poor teen was haphazardly tossed onto the black leather couches.

"Well," Itachi cleared his throat, "you two have been enrolled into Leaf Academy for fine and performing arts. You will receive your schedules when Winter Break is over." And then the weasel un-popped and slunk away into the depths of his master bedroom cave.

"…dude, your brother is freaking cold. Like a slushie." Naruto whispered dully.

"Urgh. No. He's more like a two-ton block of ice. Because slushies are enjoyable to suck on. Blocks of ice are not." Sasuke retorted, carelessly throwing his feet onto the glass coffee table.

"Stop making such crude analogies, teme."

"I'm not. I could be innocently referring to sucking like sucking on a piece of candy. But your dirty mind has totally twisted my words, dobe."

Naruto snorted. "Shut up, you're gay."

To this, Sasuke cattily replied, "Duh," before Itachi came back downstairs as a warning for them to shut up and go to sleep before he shanked them with his toothbrush.

----Break.---

The weekend sped by, and Naruto had already finished unpacking everything Sasuke had cared to bring. Itachi had also purchased them school supplies (his were full of red and sky blue folders, Sasuke's had somewhat of a fuchsia and blue) and he was currently shoving a piece of toast into his mouth and stacking his school supplies eagerly into his Jan Sport.

"Hurry up, Naruto. We gotta get there early." His best friend leaned against the doorway, flicking onyx hair out of similarly-colored eyes.

"Kay kay. I'm done." He heaved his backpack onto his thin shoulders as they left the house, Itachi revving up the engine of his BMW. Naruto shuffled awkwardly in the back seat. Sasuke was chatting animatedly to his brother, though it seemed like he was talking to himself due to lack of response. The blondie fox took a deep breath, eyes darting around nervously. "I can do this," he thought, "I will not freak out."

But somehow, the ride to school was much too short for his liking.

Naruto gulped. Itachi must have been a famous (or infamous) figure at Leaf, because just his car caught unwanted attention- crowds of teens cheered, their chants vague to Naruto's ears.

"Holy shiat. Sasuke, I'm freaking scared!" He trembled. The duck-haired boy simply swallowed, his usual cheerful tone dulled when he murmured,"

"So am I, dobe. So am I."

--Break—

The long, winding, epic journey to retrieve schedules and get to first period was far from pleasant. Naruto had been shoved into rows of lockers two times, accidentally ran into a couple having quickies, and nearly tore his fancy uniform.

"Uchiha, Sasuke." Naruto could barely hear role call through his heart pounding in his ears. "Uzumaki Naruto."

"Here." He replied quietly.

"Hm? What was that?" The teacher looked around, her librarian glasses falling off the bridge of her nose. "I couldn't hear you. You need to speak up, dear." The class seemed to find this hilarious, and they turned their snotty faces to his, laughing.

"Shut up!" He growled, baring his canines, his eyes flashing red momentarily. NO. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. He then turned to the old lady and shouted, "HERE."

Sasuke shot him a look that asked, "are you okay?" in its most concealed form, but Naruto simply rolled his sky blues and mouthed a 'yeah, sure.'

Meanwhile, a red-head in the back of the class paused his conversation with a long-haired brunette male to look up the new blonde kid. He was aware the other new kid was Itachi's brother- they had a striking resemblance. But this kid wasn't, and he didn't seem like Sasuke's boy toy (he was smart enough to note the Uchiha brothers were both gay) and he didn't seem like Itachi's, either.

"Sasuke has a nice ass." Neji smirked crudely. Gaara rolled his eyes.

"I don't care about that emo kid. I wanna know who the blondie is." His coon eyes darted toward the blond, who was strutting out the room with a confused expression, his Jan Sport slung loosely over one shoulder.

"Oh really…then let's play a game, man." His partner-in-crime tore out some paper and scribbled some numbers and diagrams on it. Gaara raised brow.

"And what stupid game would that be?" The red-head snickered, eyeing the last of the blonde's silhouette as Naruto glided out the door.

"A stupid game where we get to see if we can get laid," Neji flashed his trademark smirk-frown-hybrid, "I got Uchicha, you got Uzumaki. Game?"

The second Sabaku brother's lips turned up a bit at the corners.

"I'm in."