The five boys stood outside a restaurant. (Yes I know, not very gripping. Stay with me.)
"Applebee's?" Ike asked, confused. "Who dedicates a restaurant to serving apples and bees?"
Marth facepalmed. "Ike. They don't actually serve apples and bees. It's just the name of the restaurant."
"Well, that's stupid. Who would name a restaurant 'Applebee's'?"
Pit patted his pocket and pulled out his phone.
"What are you doing?" Roy asked.
"Googling. Let's see... hum. Apparently it was originally 'T.J. Applebee's,' but they changed it for some reason."
"Don't care. I'm hungry. Let's go." Ike led the earthified brawlers through the doors and into the crowded restaurant.
"Party of five?" The hostess asked. Marth nodded.
A waitress smiled. "Follow me, please." She led them to a booth near the middle of the restaurant.
"Hi. My name is Abby, and I'll be your server." She tucked a lock of red hair behind her ear. "Can I get you boys some drinks?"
"Um, I'll have a Coke," Ike said.
"Me too," said Marth.
"Same here," Link said.
"Yo tambièn!" Roy said.
Pit started to answer, but Marth cut him off.
"He'll have water," Marth said quickly. Abby giggled.
"'Kay, I'll be right back with those. Here's some menus."
Pit pouted. "Why no soda for Pit?"
"Pit, you know what happens to you when you have caffeine," Marth reminded him. "You go loca!"
"What's with all the random use of foreign language?" Ike complained. "This is America. Not Mexico or whatever."
...
RANDOMLY PLACED INTERLUDE ALERT
Meanwhile, in a cave that was very black, very deep, very frightening, very foreboding very mythical, and very holy-HOLY-crap-there's-no-way-I'm-ever-going-in-there-EVER-no-way-no-howish, the Angel of Death, Samael, was bored. If you want description of him, click on EmilySamara's profile and read the story where a fan favorite dies.
Now, when Samael is bored, it is VERY bad news for any naive humans that he happens to know, such as certain three certain video game characters who go by the names Marth, Ike, and Pit. Because, see, Samael likes to create very amusing, awkward, and slightly dangerous or life-threatening situations for these poor brawlers and their friends.
So Samael, bored as he was, decided to mess with the brawlers' minds. And Oh My God, amusing events most certainly unfolded.
END OF RANDOMLY PLACED INTERLUDE
...
Roy idly glanced toward the door. He saw two flamboyantly gay teenagers holding hands walk through and sit down at a table near them.
"Now, those guys," Marth said, noticing where Roy was looking, "have got guts."
"Yeah. These days..." Roy replied.
Abby came back with the boys' drinks.
"Thank you," Marth said politely.
"You guys ready to order?" Abby asked.
"Yeah," Link spoke up. "I'll have..."
Link noticed that Abby looked distracted.
"Um, Abby?" Link said, cautiously waving his hand in front of her face.
"Uh-oh," Abby said, looking at the gay teenagers' table. "Things are about to get interesting in here."
"Why?" Roy asked.
Abby pointed with her pencil to a bunch of bad-boyish teenagers who were slowly advancing on the happy couple.
"Those are the Homophobes. And that's their area."
Marth stood up. "I'm going over and help those two guys," he said, staring in the same direction Abby was.
Abby shrugged. "Don't say I didn't warn ya."
"But... you didn't warn me."
"Oh, whatever! Just... be careful, 'kay? There, I warned you!"
Marth shrugged and made his way over to the gay teenagers. The Homophobes were already beginning to harrass them.
"Hey. Guys, cut it out," Marth said to the Homophobes.
The gang laughed cruelly. The apparent leader stopped jeering at the gay boys and turned to face Marth.
"MYOB, fag."
Marth's face burned. "Sh-shut up." He held up his fist. "I swear, I'm warning you..."
"Oh-oh no, you guys. I'm... so scared. Can't you see me sweating?" He tugged at his shirt collar mockingly.
Link could see that Marth was about to snap. He motioned for Ike, Roy, and Pit to get up and quickly made his way over to Marth.
"Awww, look. His little boyfriend's comin' over to help him out."
"Wh-why, you...!" It took the majority of Link's strength to keep both himself and Marth from stomping over and ripping the Homophobes' heads off.
"Yeah! If he even had a boyfriend, it would be me!" Ike said inconsequentially.
"Or me!" Roy added, equally inconsequentially.
"Not... helping..." Marth hissed as Link dragged him out.
Pit sighed. "Great. Now we have to look for another place to eat."
"Leave it to Marth to get us in trouble on our first day," Ike said disdainfully.
"Oh, shut up," Marth snapped, uncharacteristically angry. "You get us in trouble nine out of ten times we go anywhere."
"Hey! Eight out of nine times it's not my fault!"
"Oh, bra-vo," said a vaguely familiar, deep voice from behind them. The boys whirled around.
A tall, handsome, silver-haired man wearing a long black trench coat was slowly walking toward them, clapping lifelessly about every three seconds.
Pit and Marth stared at the man. "Samael...?"
The disguised Angel of Death rolled his eyes. "Who else?"
"Who's this guy?" Roy asked.
"Oh, him?" Ike said nonchalantly. "He's the Angel of Death."
"HOLY-!"
Samael smiled a teasing little half-smile. "Mmmm. Now, can any of you tell me what Marth did wrong back there?" He asked, jerking his head in the direction of the restaurant.
"Um, lost his temper?" Link ventured.
"Wrong. Anyone else? No? Well... guess I'll have to answer for you." Samael sighed in a pity-me-oh-pity-me kind of way. "Marth... missed a great opportunity to have a really good fight and entertain me. Instead, Marth ran away like a scared little pussy. And that is wrong."
"Oh, man, please don't take my voice away again," Marth pleaded. "I'll be good! I'll... fight, or whatever it is you want me to do! And... yeah I'll stop talking now."
"Good boy. Now get back in there and smash some faces in, will you?"
SO SORRY for the lateness of this crappy update (WILL NOT CRITICIZE MYSELF...!). Anyway, yay, Samael returns! And how will Marth delicately handle this? Answer: what does "delicately" mean? THEY ARE THE BRAWLERS!