A/N: I like this chapter!
The Girl Not Spoken Of
It had been widely assumed, long ago, by the population of Hogwarts that Sirius Black wasn't interested in school girls. The question of who he was interested in had yet to be answered. Eventually, however, it became clear to those nearest and dearest to him that something was bothering him. Or (they believed) possibly, more correctly, someone was bothering him.
&
"Who is it?" They wanted to know.
Sirius was grumpy. "No one. Let me eat my bacon."
&
Moony decided to try the tactic of surprise. "Who do you fancy!?" He would demand at random point of the day.
"Your mother!" Sirius would snap, unfailingly.
&
Sirius was insufferably moody—even more than usual—and Marie was insufferably pleased with herself, and everyone was suffering immensely from being around them in lessons. They were driving each other and everyone around them absolutely stark raving mad.
&
Peter tried listing. "Is it Evans?"
"No."
"Oh, it is Evans, isn't it? I can tell, that's denial, right there."
"It isn't Evans."
"So you're admitting that it is someone, then?"
"No."
But Peter was unflinching. "Is it Alice?"
"No."
"It's definitely Alice. You hesitated before you said no. I can tell."
"It's not Alice."
"But you didn't say that it's not anyone. So if it's not no one, then you must fancy someone."
"No."
&
Marie flirted outrageously with every boy she could find while Sirius was in the vicinity, always watching him from beneath long lashes. She was constantly dropping subtle hints and trying to corner him, but he was too angry and oblivious to notice her obvious infatuation with him. He sulked, glared at her all the time, was driven insane by the attentions she lavished on other males, and couldn't seem to stop watching her.
&
Prongs just waited, and watched, and vaguely hoped that if Sirius did indeed fancy someone, he would eventually tell them. Because, of course, the boys were too clueless to pick up on anything obvious. They had to be told.
&
They bickered, sat next to each other in every class, talked about how much they hated the other in plain earshot, smiled, glared, laughed and constantly got the other in trouble.
"Can I borrow some ink?" Marie would ask, batting her eyelashes.
"Of course not," Sirius would say without looking up, meanwhile pushing it closer to her and filching some of her parchment to doodle on. She casually dipped her quill in his inkpot, and would leave a large splotch on his essay. He would respond by constantly pushing her elbow, causing her to mess up what she was writing.
&
"Who do you fancy!?"
"Your sister."
&
While Marie grumbled about the idiocies of men, he alternated from glaring at her, ruing the day she entered his life, and looking quite satisfied. She would scoot her chair close to him and touch his hair or shoulder in some way that made him feel uncomfortable, while observing that he had stolen her parchment.
&
"Is it Eliza?"
"No."
"It is Eliza, it definitely is, I can feel it!"
"It's not Eliza."
"But it is someone then, because you didn't say that you don't fancy anyone."
&
When he spilled his ink all over Marie's textbook she would flirt outrageously with David Melrose, who sat behind her. Sirius would resemble a thundercloud, and by the time the ridiculous play had finished, he would storm out of the classroom, only to repeat the act in their next class.
&
Prongs kept waiting. After a few days, Sirius began to look frazzled.
&
All Sirius and Marie could talk about was how much they loathed the other, from the way their eyes sparkled when they were angry to the way their laughter was deep, rich, and obviously detestable. When asked why they didn't simply ignore the other and stop tormenting themselves, their friends, and each other, they hemmed and hawed and never got anywhere close to the real reason.
&
"Who do you fancy!?"
"YOU!" Sirius shrieked, utterly enraged.
Moony looked taken aback. "Seriously? "
Sirius roared. "NO!"
&
"Is it Beatrice?"
"NO, IT IS NOT BEATRICE!"
Peter was unaffected. "I can tell—"
"FOR THE LAST TIME, I DO NOT FANCY ANYONE!"
&
The days dragged on interminably, and then days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months. Months turned to years, and before they knew it they were seventh years, and Prongs was dating Evans like it had been coming at them all along.
It was sickening to Sirius, actually, to see his best friend so love-sick and besotted that he didn't even realize he was fraternizing with the…well…not the enemy. But…not the friend, either.
Sirius was softening every day. Cracks were beginning to hairline through his exterior. A girl was beginning to penetrate his armor.
She was clever. Damn clever. She knew what she wanted, and she'd stop at nothing to get it. She was determined. Bloody determined. She'd known how long it would take, but she still took it on. Marie was not going to be just another notch on Sirius' bedpost.
If Sirius wasn't careful, he was going to wake up one morning and find himself head-over-heels in love.
&
"I know who it is."
"Shut up Peter," Sirius grumbled, exhausted with the constant questioning. He pulled his pillow over his head. It was a Saturday morning, and much too early for this type of thing.
"S'not Peter."
"Moony, piss off. I know you know everything."
"It's Prongs." He had finally decided to make his move. It was odd. Prongs wasn't characterized as the most observant of their friends. But somehow, knowing Sirius' temperament, he had figured it out.
Sirius emitted an audible groan. "Prongs, go away. I want to sleep."
"It's Marie Ginger."
The pillows and quilt flew off the bed as Sirius sat up in record time. "Who?" Prongs simply laughed.
"Marie Ginger."
&
"But… I don't have a sister…?"
"Moony," Prongs said with a long-suffering sigh, strolling out from behind a suit of armor. "That's the point."