Finally out of the cell and wearing more than just a boiler suit!
She sits in a warm room, a bottle of water before her, clothes on her back, real clothes, material clothes. Her eyes can see the walls, her mouth can move and her voice can call.
All is quiet.
The surroundings are familiar. They are safe. There is a screen and windows and the Grid.
She is home.
She hears the door open and she turns her head, not wanting to stretch the stitches in her side.
He is there in the doorway and she thinks he is the only thing she has ever wanted to see. The first and only thing she has ever wanted to see.
"Ruth," he says in a warm, chocolaty voice that feels like home, that feels like nourishment for a lost soul.
"Hello, Harry."
"How do you feel?"
"Like hell," she smiles.
"The doctor tells me you will be fine".
"I could do with some sunglasses, the world is still a little bright."
He gazes at her and there is, as always only love in his eyes. Love and a black eye and a cut by his mouth.
"Harry, your eye?"
"It's nothing, Ruth." He pauses, "I need to debrief you before I can let you go."
"Okay, I understand."
"Do you know who was holding you?"
"They were Russian. They wanted Albany. They thought the Chinese had a fake. They wanted the real thing."
"And you told them what?"
"I told them the Chinese had Albany and that was all I knew. You should have told me, Harry, you should have told me the truth."
"Did they hurt you?" he asks, ignoring her admonishment.
"They cut my side and they held me bound and gagged. I'm okay Harry."
"Were you alone, Ruth?"
She hesitates and wonders what to say. She cannot lie to him.
"There was someone else there."
He waits for her to elaborate and she wonders how she can tell him that though she loves him, that a nearness to him has always frightened her and sent her scurrying for cover? How can she tell him that this other man, this stranger she has been physically close to was so comfortable, so safe, that from him she never felt like running? She feels guilt and betrayal and doubt. Of all the things she has done to Harry, how can she add this?
"Tell me?" he says.
"All I know is his name is Jim and he's from Six. We were kept in a cell together."
Harry's face is fixed.
"Jim." he repeats.
"Have you found him, Harry?"
He looks away and he is silent. Her heart constricts.
"You were kept together?" he asked tentatively.
"Yes," she can say no more.
"Did you like him, Ruth?"
He knows. She knows that he knows.
"He was a good man. He cared for me. He looked after me." And she thinks about wanting to unzip his suit and the intensity she felt and she looks away and she feels that Harry can see her shame and her deceit and she hates herself for all that she has done to him and yet she thinks of Jim too.
"You were together in intolerable circumstances."
She nods.
He hesitates.
"Did anything happen, Ruth?"
He looks at her and his hazel eyes see right through her.
"No," she hesitates, "not really," and she watches him look away and she cannot forgive herself and she cannot explain.
"Harry, I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"For everything," she adds.
He gazes at her and he has given her everything.
He always has.
Everything.
And she has given him nothing. And now she has betrayed him.
"I need to go Harry, I'm sorry. I need to go. The ladies." and she doesn't know whether she is going to be sick, or faint, or collapse.
"Ruth," he calls. She is gone.