Summary: "Wa...watashi...ga...hoshii...tama...shii..."
Rating: K+/M (not certain which)
Notes: I swear to god, I'll do happy oneshots for a while after this
one.
Sorry for the incredible delay. This took me four or so hours to work
out, so let's hope it was worth it, ne?
Tsukuyomi speaks entirely in Japanese, and in this one, so does Yoru.
Mostly. Translations are at the end. This is technically a songfic, I
guess. The song is Artificial Children by IOSYS. It really fits it, I
think. Working through it only by the song, I think it turned out
relatively well.
WARNING! This fic is relatively serious. Seeing as it's (SPOILERS) a death fic, I would imagine it to be so. If it actually is sad, bring a tissue or something. Tried my hardest to make it somewhat depressing. So, there's your warning. Don't say I didn't lol. Let it also be said that I worked on this til 4 in the morning yesterday, so sorry for any errors.
God, I need a beta...
Italics = Japanese phrases
Bold = English
Both = Lyrics
Disclaimer is on my bio, as always. Enjoy...?
Fushigi no fushigi inochi no nai
Kigou to kibou kasanari awasete
Iro to katachi ataerareta no wa
Ao to kurenai yuganda kokoro
(Wonder of wonders, without life,
A collection of words and symbols,
Granted form and color,
By a heart wound with azure and crimson)
The first thing odd golden-red eyes set their sights on was the larger
figure that had created it, a smirk in the huge, single eye of its
creator. The kitten could only blink in confusion, eyeing its
surroundings in slight curiosity, more interested in the demon beast
that floated in front of it than anything the room could have to offer
at the moment. Its tiny wings flexed as it regarded the demon beast
apathetically, unknowing of the dangerous waters it was skimming along.
The giant floating eyeball-like creature harshly flapped its own wings
a few times before charging straight at the newly made creature,
drawing a startled mew from the kitten-like creature in front of it.
Newly formed wings burst open and flapped hastily, the kitten-like
creature shooting up into the air. The sharp edges of its Master's
wings caught its ankle, and nauseating lilac fluid not unlike toxins
began running down the creature's foot. It hissed in pain as its
Master forced it to move or face more pain, the blood clinging to its
fur like tar and making it difficult to move quickly.
It wasn't very long until the creature began to tire from the excess
strain, while its Master was just getting started.
Sneering, the eyeball began to create an orb of energy directly in
front of its slit pupil and shot it towards its creation, unable to
dodge by this point, as its newly formed wings became too weak to hold
its own weight any longer. Within moments, the battle had ended in the
Master's favour. Exasperated, the eyeball summoned a few of its
minions to take the kitten away and clean it up for further battles
that were to take place once the kitten healed.
As the creature was being dragged away, its Master imparted with it a
few words of "wisdom" that the kitten took to heart, never forgetting
it in the years that followed.
"If you're strong, you can have a soul. The strong live. They are
demons. They are humans. But, if you're weak, you can't have a soul.
You're a beast. A monster. Mindless. Useless. And I have no tolerance
for the weak, kitten. What path will you choose, beast?"
Mugen no mugen watashi wa doko
Setsuna no setsuna mabuta wo tojite mo
Yukue fumei shinjita kotoba wa
Sora no ushiro e suterare kieta
(In an infinite infinity, I am somewhere,
In a momentary moment, thought I shut my eyes
Those lost words I once believed in
Cast off beyond the void, fade away)
That had happened a few days back, and the kitten, christened with the
nickname Tsuki, had been working as hard as it could towards power,
strength, and most importantly, a soul.
It was well known within the realm that those who lacked souls could
never escape their Master. They were fated to stay forever in the vast
darkness of space, never to escape, never to enter the Dream World,
where the ones with a soul could stay. Effectively, the ones with
souls were also protected from the Master, who's soul had been
corrupted to a point that it may as well have not existed. The
Master's mind was following the same fate as its heart and soul had as
well, though for what reasons, most of its spawns couldn't fathom.
There was literally no clues as to why their Master acted the way it
did. They just had to accept it was all, else they would be destroyed
for being too snoopy. Some of them didn't really strive to make the
Master happy as a result, knowing that the praise that would result
came from a demon beast going insane. It was a waste of breath just
trying to do the impossible, too.
These were the demon beasts that got their souls and quickly escaped
to the Dream World. Hell if their vessels were crushed. It just meant
they were safe from their former Master forever.
Tsuki knew nothing of this. All he knew was that he had to please his
Master if he didn't want pain. His Master rewarded him if he did a
good job. But the best reward, he had yet to achieve in the darkness
of the realm. He had to get out of the dark, get a soul. Having a soul
would prove to everyone and himself that he had a purpose, that he
wasn't a mindless fool. He wouldn't become like those traitorous soul-
stealers his Master had warned him about. They didn't deserve to get
souls if all they would do was let it go to waste or use it as a pass
into the Dream World. Master was Master; he had to obey him. So he
fought. He fought and destroyed, pitied but never spared.
And one day, a few years later, Tsuki was rewarded for his mislead
efforts.
Aa watashi ni watashi no tamashii
(Ah, to me, my very own soul)
He had done it. He'd become powerful enough to defeat his Master's
puppet! He'd passed the test "with flying colors," as some of the
other demon beasts had said. He'd gotten his soul, and with it, became
known as Tsukuyomi Soul. No longer a nobody, he had a name. A label.
Something his Master could say, and Tsukuyomi could reply to. He was
so very pleased at the moment.
It was like a dream come true for the naïve little kitten.
He'd had to kill the only person who he could come close to calling a
"friend," but Tsukuyomi did not care. Even as her lips cursed him, her
eyes became dull and she ceased to exist, Yomi did not care. He had
his soul. He was no longer a mindless, useless beast. He could do
something on his own now.
With the knowledge in his mind that he'd done "the right" thing,
Tsukuyomi headed towards the planet known as the "Tangible World,"
eager to fulfill his Master's wish to conquer the tiny planet. Why his
Master wanted to conquer it, Tsukuyomi would not know. He simply
wanted to please his Master. So, the first place he visited on the
tiny planet was a region known as "Chounen," landing in a place the
locals called "Chouru."
It was there that he met Yoru.
Hitogata yo mawaru sekai wo miteru hitomi no oku ni
Urei wo utsusu futatsu no ibitsu na
(I am a doll, I see my turning world reflected in your pupils
My despair is mirrored in those two ellipses)
Yoru was what demons of the world called a "Lord," one that was a
master of the element of the Shadows and having quite a heritage
behind him. While he was not as famous as his cousin, Mikage's,
heritage, the Suzaku's, or as well known as his other cousin, Rouge's,
family line, his was part of a well respected Noble family that Yomi
learned had gone from Cinderfoot to Cinderhart with the edition of
Yoru. Yet, for a Noble, Yoru was certainly lacking in the "arrogance"
category.
The misfortune of Yoru's entire clan and the gain of powers by a
striking loss had caused Yoru to become withdraw and (dare he say it?)
sulky, his one goal in his life to find the one who had killed his
father and return the favour in his own special way. As young as Yoru
was and how scarred he'd become (both his soul and his physical form-
a small gash on his right cheek that Yoru had received as a younger
child had never quite healed as it should've), he still managed to
retain a childlike kind quality to him, though it was sometimes
difficult to see with his short temper and sometimes abrasive
attitude. Still, Tsukuyomi grew close to the other, even as he
secretly manipulated him and a select few others in the Dream World to
find information on this planet, taking a form completely different
from his physical form and a different attitude. He had never given
away his true form to the others, nor did he ever show many of his
powers aside from his ability to copy elemental powers from others,
his wings kept invisible should anyone question their existence, and
thus, his own.
For years, the act worked perfectly. His companions were none the
wiser, and they had all even accomplished some personal missions they
might not have been able to do otherwise in the Tangible World or on
their own. Everything had been going so smoothly. Until everyone began
to depart, and Yomi, thinking everyone had gone, revealed his wings
and true appearance when he felt the strain of keeping his form hidden
with magic begin to affect him.
Yoru had not left. And he had found out his so-called Leader's secret.
Worst of all, when they both woke up the next day, Yoru remembered
everything. And Yomi had no way of defending himself from the outrage
that followed.
Ima umare ima nemuru
(Now, born; now, dormant)
Tsukuyomi had been overwhelmed by the foreign emotions he'd felt when
Yoru had confronted him on the matter, and even as he had retreated
into the Dream World again and went into a temporary stasis to stave
off said emotions, Yomi felt as if something irreversibly bad had
occurred. Even Ritsuka, the True Alpha of the Suzaku's Guide and the
closest thing to a friend that Tsukuyomi had at the moment, could not
calm his turbulent soul.
What Yomi did not know was that while he could take the form of a
demon and a human both (not at the same time, however), he was not
what his Master referred to as a "monster" or a "beast." The Monsters
of this world were simply demons that usually stayed in their feral
state or could not shapeshift. And he was no beast. His blood was
purple-the result of the form of a demon and the body of a human
being mashed together to create his own vessel. The brain of a human,
the power of a demon, the ruthlessness of a beast. With the
intellegence of a human came the emotions of a human as well. So, as
Yomi felt the guilt and agony because of Yoru's emotions of betrayal,
at the same time, Yomi was straying farther and farther away from the
mold his Master had set its eye upon, becoming his own persona in the
process.
Hakanai kono yo wa mama goto no you ni mujou na ire mono
(This fleeting world is like play-acting, a transient container)
As much as Yomi hated to admit it, he could not hide in the Dream
World forever. Even if Ritsuka had taken the role of a Guardian for
his incapacitated body, Yoru still found them and still managed to
defeat Ritsuka, one of the strongest souls in the Dream World, by
sheer willpower alone.
It became clear that Tsukuyomi could do nothing to stop Yoru. The one
who could hit hard and deal with difficult blows had just been knocked
out. If someone Yoru's size could do that to a soul as powerful as
Zero's...then Yomi had no hope of escaping unscathed.
So when Yoru came close to him, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, anger
and mouth open to throw an insulting question, Tsukuyomi came out of
his temporal stasis...and fled back to the Tangible World. While Yoru
was recovering from the shock and heading back to the Tangible World
himself, Tsukuyomi took control of his own vessel and fled, back to the safety of his Master's realm.
Sadame wa sadame aragaenai
Deai to wakare itsu mo kuri kaeshi
Toki no hate ni tadori tsuita no wa
Yami ni shinjitsu shizunda tokoro
(Fate is predetermined, irresistably,
The meetings and partings, endlessly repeat
If I struggle on to the end of time,
Will reality sink into darkness at that moment)
What Tsukuyomi had not predicted, aside from his Master's
disappointment, was the burning rage and the power it contained.
When Yomi was all but dead, laying in a pool of his own acidic blood
that ate away at the fur and skin that it touched and almost burning
away at his eyes and sanity, his Master made its move. Using the gem
Yomi had received from Yoru when the demon Lord was a mere child as an
entryway, Yomi's Master possessed him, ordering Yomi to return to the
Tangible World and altering his appearance suitably, changing silky
silver hair into a lilac that matched his blood color and gold-red
eyes into dull crimson disks, fitting Yomi
with a mask to better conceal himself. Yomi let him. So long as he had
his soul, Tsukuyomi was happy. He didn't care if his Master hacked off
everything that he could call "important," so long as he had his soul
intact and in his body.
That, and his Master wouldn't have let him stop it even if he wanted
to. His Master had possessed him, after all. At any moment, it could
take control of his vessel and cause harm upon himself.
So Tsukuyomi went back to the Tangible Planet, this time under the
guise of Soul, his true name, the one he'd failed to tell Yoru in all
the years he'd known the demon Lord.
Itami wo itami namida nagashi
Karada to karada furete mo yagate wa
Furue obie kanjita kioku wa
Towa no izumi e nagarete kieta
(Painful, aching tears flow,
The moment after our bodies touched,
I felt a trembling trepidation, for the memory
In the stream of eternity, flowed and faded away)
Getting close to Yoru under this guise was easier than Yomi had
expected.
When only a few months had passed, and Yoru was comfortable enough
with the cat demon to go as far as hug him, Yomi cried. Yoru did not
notice the tears behind the other's mask, or he had thought it to be
something else (as Yomi's scents and bodily fluids were radically
different from any regular demon, hanyou or otherwise, and carried a
different scent), but the months that followed that moment had Yomi
wary, the memories of Yoru's betrayal at finding out what he'd done
and the actions he'd carried out later never leaving his mind for a
single moment.
Aa boyakete mienai kanashimi
(Aa, blurred and unseen, my sadness)
While his Master ranted to Yomi about the foreign emotions it knew
nothing about at every opportunity that presented itself and how he
should've been focusing on the task at hand, Yomi himself began
attempting to hide his emotions and his ability to feel (and look)
affected by anything, backed up by both his Master and the mask he
never took off. In the months Yoru spent futilely looking for the
demon who was actually right by his side (more often than his own Mate
was, oddly enough), Yomi learned how to perfect his emotionless mask
and to seal away his emotions, eventually building up an alternate
mindset that allowed him to focus on one task, no matter if he was
presented with truths or lies later on. It both hindered and helped
the team that Yoru had begun to gradually create, an annoyance and a
blessing to the young Leader. Yoru honestly hoped that nobody would
set the hanyou off and cause him to go on a rampage. He doubted it
would happen, but to be certain, Yoru began keeping a closer watch on
his half-demon friend, noticing that something seemed decidedly off
about his companion...
Watashi wa ningyou
Kanpeki na ningyou
Watashi no kokoro wa watashi no mono
Dakara watashi wa mitomenai
Ano hito wa nan to iu to mo zettai ni mitomenai
(I am a doll
A perfect doll
My heart is my own to do with as I please
So, I won't accept it
No matter what she says, I won't awknowledge it)
Even as Yomi perfected the ability to kill without emotion or thought,
the ability to block off any more emotional harm he might've otherwise
gone through, his soul still rebelled strongly against his Master.
Anytime his Master even looked into his thoughts to see what he was
thinking, it set his soul off, flooding him with feelings of anger at
being searched like a common thief. Only, his Master's method was much
more intimate. His Master was understandably angered by the rebelling
soul, despite how well their plan over the years had gone. Though he
did not know it, his Master had plans for the rebellious soul that
went beyond the simple "take it away and crush it" method it had used
many times in the past.
So, his Master had come up with an offer, exclusive to Yomi, of
course, with an underlying threat placed in just for good measures. If
Yomi gave it back the soul it had given him so long ago, Yomi would
receive a new soul, one that would be more inclined to trust it
otherwise.
Zettai ni ... mitometaku nai
(I'll never ... awknowledge it)
Yomi did not accept. It was not his fault that his Master's very
existence set his soul off. So what? It wasn't as if Yomi acted on
those emotions, was it? All that happened was a slight reaction,
nothing more. It was like what Tsukuyomi had heard of from some humans
of the group: puberty. The reactions couldn't be stopped at times. It
was natural, right? So when his Master offered this "solution" of its,
Yomi stayed silent, his masked face showing no emotion.
As a result, Yomi's previous status of free-will and his ability to
feel and react to emotion was taken from him by force.
Ayatsurare kono ito kireta to shite mo
Ikanaide ikanaide tsunaidete
(Even though this thread that controls me is cut -
Don't go, please don't go, stay connected to me-)
His Master had left him.
Beaten, bloodied and with more than just a few breaks and bruises,
Yomi's Master had proclaimed him useless, and after a short trip back
to its domain, took the one thing Yomi had actually given a damn
about.
His soul.
His Guard-damn soul.
Hitogata yo kawaru sekai mo kawaru rikai wa sarezu
Tada kitto yume to utsusu no hazama de
(My dolls live in an ever-changing world that admits no understanding
Certainly, in the space between dream and reality)
Yomi had not realized how much control his Master had always had. His
Master had been able to possess him and steal from him the control of
his vessel, after all. It could block out Yomi's mind with a single
thought of its own, and it could even make Yomi harm himself against
his will.
And, most importantly, it could take his very life from him. His soul,
his happiness, his emotions.
He was nothing but a shell of his former self now.
Ima umare ima hateru
(Now, born; now, perishing)
Tsukuyomi's life had been shockingly short for a demon. Only 6 years
old, and already, Yomi's body and mind were deteriorating, his body
because of the constant beatings he received from his Master (and the
bloodshed that followed), his mind because his soul, his very name,
was gone. Not destroyed; simply taken from him, placed Guard-knows
where.
For another year, this torture continued to plague Yomi, and by the
third month, his wings refused to work for him, weakened from the lack
of energy and strength. His appearance had long since returned to its
normal standard coloring but had turned into the very appearance of
the dead in less than half a month. Previously wide, childlike golden
eyes that had held a sparkle of innocence in them at one point were
now dulled slates of darkened amber, dead of emotion and lacking life.
His furry body, which had always had soft, cotton-candy blue fur and
razor sharp claws to help him force his way past foes and difficult
situations, was now dirty and stained violet with his own blood, the
claws he'd become so well known for in Yoru's group broken and dulled.
Even his mask had seen better days, previously white and sky-blue
surface a dusty grey and almost green-like color, chipped in some
places, cracked in others and missing an "ear."
Afureru subete no osanai ikari ni michiteru yurikago
(This is the cradle into which the universe's young rage overflows)
The rage of his Master stopped at 8 months, the beatings having
stopped two months prior. Instead of the horrible treatment Yomi had
suffered at for those 8 long months and the mental agony he'd thought
he could've blocked off, his Master began to show him signs of
kindness once more as it began training his body and mind for the time
he would face the ones it claimed had "corrupted" his soul. His
appearance began to return to normal by the time two months had
passed, and by the 11th, the liveliness in his eyes began to return,
though not as bright as they had been before his soul had been taken
from him. His mask was even repaired.
Throughout the entire experience, the gem Yoru had given him so long
ago had been kept in the highest condition Yomi could manage to keep
it in. As much as Yoru may despise him and how much pain Yomi had gone
through because of Yoru and his companions, Yomi could not bear to see
this one, small gift become dull with neglect. Before, it had looked
odd with his deadened appearance and cracked mask. Now, the gem and
the bits of metal it hung from around his neck looked less odd, still
easily able to arouse the attention of others, but not to the extent
it had been before.
Armed with armor (namely, shoulder guards and his trusty claws, which
were a lot sharper than they had been before) and the promise of his
soul back, Tsukuyomi had gone back to the Tangible World for one last
confrontation with Yoru before he became a truly useless beast,
nothing more than a mindless puppet in the eyes of his Master, who
tagged along with him in the form of the gem on his neck once more.
Owari wa owari yousha no nai
Kotoba to kimochi midareta mama demo
Imi to teigi subete kutsugaeshi
Kako wo mirai e tsunageru kiseki
(The end is the end, without mercy
Though my words and feelings remain disordered,
Meanings and definitions are all overriden,
At the point where past is bound to future)
Before, Tsukuyomi would've begged his Master not to do something so
reckless, suggesting they do something more kind and intelligent to
convince the population to give them information rather than beat the
info out of them. He did this, even though he knew he would carry out
with the orders anyways in the end.
He still had his soul back then.
Not now, though. Now, no matter how much Tsukuyomi didn't want this to
happen, it was happening against his will. Even if his soul was gone,
he was not mindless. He would not have degraded otherwise. But the
control he had over his vessel was gone, stolen once again by his
Master, who had become paranoid for some odd reason other than Yomi's
inevitable failure to carry out the action. For some reason, his
Master's lack of confidence in him caused Yomi's eyes to sting
bitterly, his heart clutching at the realization. It surprised Yomi
immensely.
After all, his soul was gone. Why should something so small affect him
so much?
Omoi to netsui tada sore dake
Shinka to hakai itsu made mo tsuzuku
Tatae matsure wazuka na hibi de mo
Ai shita egao ashita wa mou inai
(With just my thoughts and passions,
Progress and destruction continue forever
No matter how much I praise these fleeting days,
The smiling face I loved will be gone tomorrow)
Yomi didn't know how he'd been so blind as to how his Master had seen
him. Whatever the reason had been, it was too late for Yomi to go back
and correct his mistakes. Like he had ever been able to do just that
in the first place.
And now...now, Yoru was going to die for his incompetence. His Mate,
his daughter, his Guide... Everyone Yoru had ever known or had come in
contact with would die by his Master's-his own-claws, just because
Yomi had been stupid enough to believe that if he did what his Master
wanted, he would be praised. Recognized. She wouldn't have died in
vain for his success, and he would've been able to live a happy life,
even if demons and humans alike didn't like him. If he had his
Master's approval, he would be able to live regardless of how the
different worlds treated him.
What a fool he'd been.
Aa fukakute ienai kanashimi
Aa kakurete mienai yorokobi
Aa watashi ni watashi no tamashii
(Ah, deep, unhealable sadness,
Ah, hidden, unseen pleasure
Ah, to me, my very own soul)
But, his soul...
"Watashi ga hoshii tamashii, Masuta."
(Temae no Baka...)
It would be worth it if he could get his soul back, right? Just as
he'd gotten his soul the first time by slaying the girl he could've
called a friend, he could get it back by killing the one responsible
for its loss in the first place. Why regret it? It was only a few
lives, after all. Demons, humans, monsters... They all died
eventually, didn't they? What was the harm in accelerating that end?
Try as he might, reasoning with himself in a less-than-positive way
was working out less effectively than Yomi had expected. It had been
so easy, before...before his soul had been taken from him. He wanted
to be able to justify his reasoning, his Master's reasoning, so badly.
If he made Yoru look like the bad guy, then his Master would be right
about wanting to conquer this world for its own. Right...?
If those words were the truth, then why did Tsukuyomi feel so wrong to
even think it?
But, in a way, Tsukuyomi was glad that his reasoning hadn't worked one
iota on him. Even faced against his Master's power, Yoru still had a
chance at winning. The fight had left his Master open to mental attack
as well, the winged demon beast too distracted to notice the opening in
his mental barriers. It was incredibly small, really, and Yomi wasn't
too surprised that his Master had missed it. He would've, too. Yomi
hesitated for a moment, wondering if he really should've overthrown
his Master, help Yoru land in a fatal blow. What if Yoru failed to
kill him? What if his Master became so enraged that Yomi would be dead
faster than he could even think?
...What if he failed? If he failed... He would have no soul. Yoru
would be dead.
Like he wouldn't be if he didn't help him, either.
All self-doubt went out the window when his Master laughed at him, in
his own damn body, taunted him, and threatened Yoru in the most sick,
twisted way even Yomi hadn't known was possible. The only way Yomi had
to describe his disgust at the threat was to relate it to the hacking
of his own blood up, a sensation Yomi had thought would kill him with
how acidic the liquid was. It could rival pure stomach acid's potency,
it was that vile. And Yomi knew, knowing nothing about the horrors the universe had to offer, but going by instinct, that that form of "revenge" wasn't proper. Not right.
Breaking an arm was a sort of adequate form of revenge on someone like
Yoru. But, that... Not that killing Yoru and conquering this world
had been proper, either, but what his Master suggested was simply too
extreme. Whatever this world had done to earn his Master's intense
hatred for, Yomi simply could not allow his Master to win. Even if he
had no soul...
(Wa-watashi wa... mitomenai...)
He had made up his mind.
"Soul!"
In the moment he had acted and taken control, Yoru had been attempting
to end the fight by decapitating the claws of his opponent, hoping his
enemy would stop long enough for Yoru to at least knock the demon
beast unconscious for a few moments. Simply put, he would've rather
restrained the demon beast than hurt it. His friend was in that body,
after all. And he'd seen Soul recover a claw before, when an enemy had
snapped one clean off in its throes of death and Soul's confusion. His
Gunblade had run out of bullets as well. So, taking aim, Yoru had
rushed towards his former friend, intent on at least giving himself an
advantage and try to bring his friend back.
And before his hit landed, he saw something in him change. Soul's
eyes, which had previously been full of absolute hatred and visible
only due to a stray bullet that had broken his mask, changed. From
intense anger to intense sorrow and regret, Yoru saw his friend in
that one moment. The one he had lost so long ago, the one he'd wanted
only to ask why he'd been doing such odd things in an attempt to take
over his home planet.
The silence that followed after his exclaimation was almost just as
deafening as the screeching noise his blade had made going into the
smaller hanyou. His blade had shattered the gem he'd given Soul as a
gift so long ago, going straight through the delicate gem to pierce
the heart of his best friend, eyes widening as he realized exactly
what he'd just done.
The unearthly sound of a dying soul almost drove Tsukuyomi to
insanity. He was the only one who was able to hear his Master perish,
the only one to hear a swan song begin its mournful tune in his head;
the only one to be able to feel his soul return to his body before he
felt his breath stop as the blade slide easily into his unprotected
heart.
The one thing Tsukuyomi had neglected in acknowledging and protecting.
The sound of a disrupted heartbeat was all Tsukuyomi heard for one
split moment, before all the sounds of their surroundings began to
flood his senses in an almost painful rush. The waves of the sea
hitting the sandbar not too far away from where they stood. The rustle
of grass and leaves behind them and underneath them. The quacks of
passing geese in the sky.
In all the time he'd been on this world, Tsukuyomi had never known how
beautiful and full of life it truly had been.
Failing to keep his demonic form intact any longer, Tsukuyomi fell
into the stiff arms of Yoru as a weakened human, coughing up and
splattering around acidic blood that unfortunately burned into Yoru's
shoulder and torso. The young Lord could care less about the pain,
however, as his eyes began to overflow with tears, the shuddering
breaths of his previous companion and the utter agony that filled his
eyes too much for him to handle. Pulling the blade in his hands out of
the other's chest and dropping the weapon, Yoru slid to the
damaged ground below them, careful with how he handled the dying form
of the smaller hanyou, and began to inspect Yomi's body,
desperately hoping Yomi would be able to hold on long enough for him
to live his own life. Hoping he could save him.
Just wishing...the impossible.
"T-Tsuku...yomi...! Douka...watashi wo...sutenai de...kudasai...!"
he wept, urging the other to stay awake, if only to apologize for what
he had done to the demon beast for it to end like this.
Hacking out some more of the vile lilac fluid, Tsukuyomi could only
raise his head a tiny bit and send a comforting smile towards his only
friend, throat working to try and say something equally as assuring.
It came to him moments later, as the memories of a younger Yoru began
to pass by his mind in a haze.
"Shimpai shinaide...waratte ne...? Yoru...wa..."
It only caused Yoru to break down and begin wailing, trying
desperately to keep Tsukuyomi alive as long as possible, knowing that
he would certainly die now. Removing the blade might've been his
second fatal error. The blood could not be staunched, due to its
acidic nature, nor would it clot, since it ate away at Yomi's flesh as
if it were rice paper. Yoru could've laughed at the irony of the
situation if it wasn't that Yomi was dying in his arms.
Tsukuyomi's own blood would ultimately be the cause of his demise.
He gasped for breath, willing his scarlet eyes to open and gaze at
Yomi's dying form, refusing to let his friend fade into nothing more
than a memory. He whimpered, feeling helpless at his inability to
soothe the dying hanyou.
"N-naze...?"
As Tsukuyomi's vision began to fade, thoughts of his past began to
flood his mind. They mingled, his thoughts, voices, images...
The vision of his Master, cruel yet somehow kind underneath the
exterior that had begun to go insane after years of paranoia and anger
began to get to its cracked psyche.
The female demon beast he had killed in order to get his soul, even as
he himself died in the exact same way that she had, having
accomplished nothing and not living long enough to fully enjoy and
appreciate even existing.
Ritsuka, who had always done his best to watch over him, not just
because he was a Guide, but because he truly cared about the little
hanyou that could match a child in innocence. He hadn't seen Ritsuka
in so..so long... He never would again, either. His soul...
Mikan, the love of Yoru's life, her kind smile, her reassuring words
and her ability to calm even the most panicky people, even if she did
not know her presence had stopped Yomi from creating mistakes many
times before.
And Yoru, the vengeful child who had long since succeeded in his
bittersweet revenge, who had lost his mentor, his father, his
mate...his best friend.
The last thing Tsukuyomi Soul could think of to say was the exact
thing Yoru had wanted to say to him so long ago; words that, had Yomi
heard them, would've calmed the torrent of anguish his soul had gone
through and assure him that he was wanted, and that he was loved. The
very words...that Yoru was mumbling like a mantra as he held Soul
close and cried, battered, injured and bleeding almost as badly as he
himself was.
"G...g-go..men...na...sai...Yo...ru..."
The young demon Lord raised his head once again, shock etched onto his
features. Tsukuyomi was dying... Yet, HE was the one apologizing? He
screamed, realizing the meaning of the words too late.
"N-NAZE DAAAA?"
His last breath left him, and Tsukuyomi Soul fell to the darkness he
had been born from, the mournful swan song he had heard a long time
ago fading from his mind. Already forgetting the memories of the life
he'd had before, he spread his wings and left the realm for good, his
vessel fading into a ball of energy as he joined the stars, the doors that would eventually lead to
the Dream World.
"Gomen nasai...minna." Tsukuyomi Soul was no more.
Phrases and Meanings:
Watashi ga hoshii tamashii. - I want my soul. (I think. Not certain
it's correct.)
Temae no baka! - You idiot!
Douka watashi wo sutenai de kudasai! - Please don't leave me!
Shimpai shinaide waratte ne? - Smile and don't worry, hey?
Gomen nasai... - I'm sorry...
Naze da? - Why?