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Staying home.

Chapter 1:What do you do when...

Me:Well,hi-hi,this is my first story,sooooooooooo,well,ya.

Naruto:Awwwwwwww,Koko-chan's shy!(Glomps.)

Sasuke:(Growls and pries him off.)Mine,bitch,back off.

Naruto:?

Me:...(Hits him on the head with a malet and throws him into closet.)Take that,BITCH! Oh, hey, look, I lost my shyness!

Speaking:"Blah."

Thinking:'Blah.'

Kyuubi speaking to Naruto:'RAWRG.'

YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI

I sighed as I opened the fridge, being smart and sniffing the milk before I drank it. I NEVER want a re-run of last time...

"Damn it." I muttered to myself, silently cursing for thinking of that time of my time when my best friend and secret crush(A.N:Not really, a lot of people have figured it out, lol), Saskue Uchiha, was still in the village.

Laughing shakily, I threw the spoiled milk away and just sat in a chair, thinking about the good old days as Kyuubi grumbled something about kits and the idiotic mumbo-jumbo that goes threw their heads. Me, being the totally awesome demon-carrying-fox-boy ever born, ignored the older demon and went back to a memory that keeps just appearing whether I want it to or not.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-SUPER-FREAKY-FLASHBACK-MUSIC!-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

'GOD DAMN IT, KYUUBI, STOP TELLING ME TO JUMP SASUKE! IF I DO THAT, HE WOULD HATE ME FOREVER! WHY CAN'T YOU GET THAT SIMPLE COMPLEX?' I yelled at that stupid old fox as I layed in bed, eyes closed and preparing for sleep. Well, at least I WAS before that stupid demon asked when I was going to screw the Uchiha-baby, as he calls Sasuke.

'Because you humans are idiots with courtship rituals and a 'strict' male-and-female mating habit. Why can't you just be like normal demons and jump the Uchiha's bones? You know you want him, just look.' Kyuubi said as he rolled over in his cage, his blood-red fur splaying out around him.

I thanked everything that I was alone from the image that Kyuubi sent me without much warning.

Sasuke's dark eyes were hovering over me, sparking with something that was odd yet welcome in the normally expressionless black voids that seemed to suck in my very soul, and I could feel his slightly callous fingers tracing over my wisker-scars that marked me as a demonling, the smallest of smile on his pale down, he gently bit down on my ear, alighting a shiver to run up and down my spine as he slowly licked the tender spot. Leaning up, the spirit-like illusion continued to stroke my cheek and whispered, "Naruto... I love you."

I felt myself wrap my arms around Sasuke's broad shoulders, actually FEELING his skin and heat against me, smelt his musky, powerful scent sweeping around me, slightly tinged with a hidden darkness, see the way his muscles rippled as he moved his body to surround mine perfectly, and taste the sweat on his skin as I kissed every part that I could touch, finally just giving into the dream-like state that Kyuubi put me into, thinking, 'Well, no one's here, why not enjoy?' threw a hazy mind.

I gasped as Dream-Sasuke caressed my stomach, just barley rubbing over my sealmark before pressing his thumb harshly against the center, making my eyes roll into the back of my head and my back arch up against him, a small spasm wracking my body. I heard him snicker and release his hold over my seal to ever so softly run his fingers down to gently tickle my thighs, which were mysteriously bear to the world, along with the rest of my body. Instinctively I blushed and brought down my hands to cover myself up, locking my knees together around them. Dream-Sasuke smirked at me in his all-knowing, sexy way and rubbed my knees apart gentally, hushing me as he did. I whimpered a little as his spread my legs wide and stared at me, the smirk growing rapidly. "St-stop it, stupid teme..." I muttered, feeling a blush appear on my cheeks.

Saskue just smirked wider at me and 'hn'ed at me as he bent down a sucked lightly at my inner thigh.

I moaned and arched up to his mouth, shivering at the feeling of his lips against me, and lisening to him chuckle darkly as I did so. "St-stupid teme..."

"Baka dobe." He replied as he harshly sucked on the edge of where my butt and leg met, forcing a whimper out of me. He smirked against my skin and begain leaving kissed along the bend of my butt, slowly making his way to my entrance, where I saw him lean back and stare at before licking his lips and leaning down to kiss it's edge, bringing out a small shiver and a moan. He smirked again and ever so slightly licked it, a ghost of a feeling. I whimpered again and bucked up to him, almost begging for the feeling, and looked down at him with slitted eyes. He stared back at me and gave me a ghost-lick again, snickering when I whimpered and my eyes closed.

"E-Either screw me r-right now you teme, or I am SO screwing you."

He didn't like that thought very much.

Growling slightly, Sasuke snarled out, "Like hell you are." before burying his face back between my cheeks, forcing his tongue into me and wriggling it around as fast as he could. I let out a silent scream as he did and felt me eyes roll back into my skull, bucking helplessly up into his talented tongue as it pumped in and out of me. I groaned and moaned as he reached down to sharply tweak my nipples with one hand as the other was quickly used to insert fingers(which stung a bit, but it was a good sting), causing him to chuckle. The vibrations that got sent from his tongue to into me almost made me cum on the spot. He pulled away, smirking widely at me, and pulled my hips down to his crotch, and I shivered wantonly at the feeling of his large, engorged organ pressed against my stretched opening. Sasuke leaned down and kissed me fiercely as he drew back and-

I jumped up as I heard Sasuke say from outside my room while pounding on my door, "Wake up, dobe. You have a hour to meet me and Sakura at the bridge. Don't be late."

I grumbled, temporarily forgetting about my dream from anger of it being interrupted(ironic, isn't it?), yelling back at Sasuke, "FINE, YA STUPID TEME, I'LL BE THERE! HOW TH HELL DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE ANYWAY? I LOCKED ALL THE DOORS AND WINDOWS!"

Over the sound of Sasuke's steps, I heard him say, "I shimmied the lock on the front door."

As I heard the door shut, I muttered, "Really creepy, Uchiha." before the dream rushed back in a flood and I blushed again and looked down at my mini-me. "... Well, there's another good thing that Kakashi is always late." before walking out of my room with a little difficultly to jerk myself off before stopping whenI heard my stomach rumble. '...' I then pictured the one thing that has always turned me off.

Let's just say, I will admit that it was Sakura's fugly body that turned me gay. Well, that and Sasuke's super-hot-bad-boy-studly-yet-nice-and-thoughtful self.

I sighed as my mini-me immediately went limp and ran off to the meeting spot, forgetting breakfast... Again.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-END FLASH-BACK-NO-JUTSU!-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

I sighed as I trudged off to the kitchen, grummbling when I remembered that I only had ramen to eat. I like ramen and all, not many people don't, but honestly, NO ONE can eat it every day and not get sick of it. In truth, my favorite dish is six riceballs with fatty-tuna filling, a side of shushi, and a nice mint-honey tea. Yum. I've only been able to have it once or twice, but what I remember of it was that it was PERFECT. Sighing, I made myself some instant-ramen, curling up my nose at it before eating it quickly so I wouldn't have to taste it.

'Kit, are you always going to have to eat that?'

'No, Kyuu-nii, someday, somehow, I'm going to become Hokage so I can prove to everyone that demons and their holders aren't so bad. Then I'm going to release you. Just you wait, ok?'

Kyuubi chuckled and murmured before settling down for rest, 'Of course, my Kit-Brother, of course.'

I smiled softly at the sound of my 'adopted' brother's snores whispering threw my head and staring at the jucies at the bottom before plugging my nose and swallowing the last bit. "Urg, I'm really starting to hate ramen... Maybe I could come clean and tell them that I want shushi today?" I wondered to myself as I threw the canister into the trash and slipped on my jacket, leaving it unzipped as I felt a blast of hot air slip threw my open window. Quickly closing and locking it, I strode outside, thinking that I had plenty of time since Kakashi never got to the meeting point until about noon and buying a apple from a nice old lady on the way, giving her the biggest smile I could manage as she handed me a blood-red, super sweet fruit. She smiled back at me and cursed a man's head off when he scoffed at her for "Giving the demon people food."

After she was done and the man walked away with a red face and ears, I fought back tears and hugged her, but not to tight enough to not hurt her, whispering, "Thank you so much." into her ear before hurrying away, waving happily behind me to the smiling old woman.

'Ahhhhhh, did the old hag just make your day?' Kyuubi teased as I happily skipped away, bouncing over the building tops and walking over wires made expressly for ninjas.

I gave him a mental smile and whispered to both myself and him, "Yeah... I think she did."

I groaned as I reached the meeting ground/training ground, where Sai and Sakura were happily discussing something in their annoying voices.

Great, now I sound like a fucking Uchiha.

'Hey, Uchihas are fucking hot as hell and you know it!' Kyuubi yelled at me from within his cage, sulking a little when I ignored him. 'You douche...'

Fixing my always-happy-mask on my face, I walked up to the others, yelling happily more loudly than needed, "Hey, Sakura, Sai! What are you talking about?"

Sakura glanced at me and sniffed.

'YOU BITCH, WE'RE GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU ONE OF THESE DAYS!' Both me and Kyuubi screamed mentally at her as I pretended to pout, and I swear she heard us because her eyes widened and she stepped away from me...

But so did Sai, so...

Did I momentarily go Kyuubi?

Giving them a blank look, I asked, "What? Did I go Kyuubi momentarily and not notice it?"

Sakura shook her head as Sai kept his eyes lock on me... I think, there's really no telling with him.

"Do I have a piece of ramen on my face?"

Again, another shake of a cotton-candy head and a stare.

"Did I turn into a monkey?"

Shake and stare.

"... Then what the fuck are you looking at, it's starting to creep me out."

A pair of shivers and a pair of evil, familiar snickers.

Uchiha snickers.

SHIT.

My eyes widened as I spun around, kunis in each hand, and place them at the necks of two Itachi and Sasuke Uchihas.

Fuck.

Holy shit.

Holy fuck-shit.

'Sexy.' Kyuubi muttered in my mind as Itachi smirked and Sasuke chuckled.

YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI

Me:Yeah, well, that's about it. o.o

Sasuke:(Throwing emo-fit because it was just his dream-self that got to molester Naruto.)

Naruto:(Blushing and twiddling his thumbs.)

Lee:REVIEW! (Runs in circles as I join him.)