A/N: Okay, I Don't Know That Much Medical Stuff So If I'm Saying Something Wrong Or Saying The Thing Period. Let Me Know So I Can Fix It. Okay So I Made This Chapter Longer(As Promised) And I'm So Glad That I Don't Speak Literal Like Maura. She So Complex SMH LOL...Anyways I Would Like To Take The Time To Thank All Of Those Who's Been Reading, Reviewing, And/Or Keeping Alert On This Crazy Story. So...Thank You :) And If You Like Buffy The Vampire Slayer &/Or General Hospital, I'm Doing My First Crossover Fic(As Well As It Being My First BtVS Fic In All Together) Called "Apple Close To The Tree" Anyways, I Hope You Enjoy This Chapter...

Disclaimer: Don't Own 'Em...Although I Wouldn't Mind Borrowing Them For A Night Or Two(If it doesn't turn out like this ofcourse)...

Supreme Apprentice

Chapter 4

"You sure it's not gonna get infected?" Jane winces as Maura continues to stitch up her. In reality, she didn't want Maura anywhere near her, let alone the wound she inflicted herself, but being cuffed to a bed, she didn't exactly have a choice. Eventhough the wound wasn't that bad, she she still didn't want to risk bleeding to death.

"There's always a chance of possible infection." Maura's continues in her calm, professional tone. "Keep still. I'm almost done."

Jane winces again, mentally kicking herself for showing pain in front of Maura. The woman who's obviously in control of this situation. The one who will detemine whether she'll live or die. "Could you atleast giving me something for the pain?"

Maura pulls out a leather case out the drawer next to the bed and sets it on top of the dresser and goes back to the final stitch. "I have local anesthesia."

Outraged. "What the fuck, Maura?"

"Language Jane."

"You wait til now to tell me this! Why didn't you say anything before?"

"You didn't ask." Maura snips the last string. "Okay, all done."

Jane scoffs. "I wish I can say thank you, but since you're the one who put the whole in my stomach in the first place..."

Maura turns away from Jane, placing her tools in her bag. "Is there anything else you want?"

"Besides, wantin' to get out of here? How 'bout givin' me something for the pain?" Jane

Maura goes to her leather case and opens it up, revealing syringes and vials. "I can give you morphine. It'll help you sleep as well."

Jane head snaps towards Maura, but tries not to show her fear. There was no way she was going to be put under. "I'm not ready to go to sleep just yet."

"Fine. I'll give you a regional anesthesic." Maura looks back at Jane "Is there anything else?"

Jane thinks for a second as she stares at Maura. "Yeah, there is." I have to know. "What did he do to you?"

Maura expression turns to confusion. "I'm sorry?"

Jane's voice barely a whisper. "Hoyt. What did he did to you?"

Maura breaks eye contact after a few moments, her jaw slightly clenching and begins to prepare the anesthesia in the syringe. "I guess you can say Mr. Hoyt made me realize my feelings. My feelings for you, my feelings towards myself. I can't lie and say that and say that he hasn't influenced my actions in any way, but I'm not doin this for him."

Jane tries to take her words in, trying to understand, but can't. "But you're acting like him-"

"I am not acting like Hoyt." The return of Maura's anger catches Jane off gaurd.

"The scapel in your sleeve says otherwise."

Maura tries to compose herself and give Jane her shot of anesthesia. "Do you think that I'm enjoying this?" Silence. "What Mr. Hoyt done to you was out of sadistic pleasure. Trying to catch the one who go away. I'm not trying to do that. I'm not enjoying what I'm doing. In fact, it's killing me, but I can't seem to stop." She places the syringe back in her case and sits on the bed in front of Jane. "I look at this as my distrastic way of knowing the truth."

Jane blinks her eyes, trying to focus, feeling the anesthesia kick in. "The truth?"

"If you truely love me."

All this was for my love? "I do love you."

"It doesn't feel like it sometimes. Yes, you're always there for me. Always there to protect and comfort me. But sometimes-" Maura tries to hold her tears back, trying to find the words. "sometimes it feels like it's just the cop in you. Ever since your shooting last year, you've kept me at arms length. Afraid to let me hold you. Take care of you. Talk about the nightmares that have you screaming in the middle of the night."

Guilt washes over Jane once more.

"Somehow, I found myself visiting Hoyt once a month for the past year."

The confession hits Jane like a ton a bricks. "What? Maura how could you-"

"I needed to understand him. I needed to understand his childhood and who's he become." Maura's tears finally spill over. "I needed to understand me."

At that moment, Jane wanted nothing more than to hold her girlfriend, but between the handcuffs on her wrists and the anesthesia numbing her torso, she wasn't getting anywhere. Only her words would be able to comfort her. "Maura, it's gonna be okay. Just tell me how this all started. I want to help you."

Maura nods and wipes away her tears, composing herself back to her emotionless profession tone. It's not exactly what Jane wanted, but at this point, she'll take take what she can get. "When you shot yourself, it broke me. I panicked. When rushed over to you, I hesitated. I watched you bleed on the sidewalk. All over my hands. You almost died because of me." Jane heard this before from Maura and was about to interrupt her that she forgave her as soon as she told her the first time a year ago, but thought better of it. "I wanted someone to blame. I didn't want to blame myself. It's very rare of me to make a mistake in my work, and until the unfortunate incident with dealing with Frankie, I've never hesitated when providing medical attention. I've never needed to do something so drastic before. I blamed Frost, being that he hesitated in that moment far more than I did. I blamed Korsak for not taking the shot. I blamed Detective Marino. I blamed Lieutenant Cavanaugh. I blamed Frankie. I blamed you." She pauses, letting Jane take that in. She had never told anyone this, let alone Jane and wanted her to understand what she was saying. "But when I finally came around to blaming myself, it was Hoyt I blamed as well."

Okay, you're not making any sense. "I don't understand. Hoyt had nothing to do with my shooting." He didn't, right?

Maura looks away from Jane eyes, picking at the imaginary lint on her clothes. "His fascination of with your death. Him wanting your blood on his hands. I was worried that maybe my subconcious was allowling me to let you die. That I didn't mind the blood on my hands. Your blood."

Jane finally got what she was saying. That son of a bitch! "What happend? What happend when you went to see Hoyt."

Maura looks back at Jane, her expression darkens. Jane was starting to realize that everytime that Hoyt was mentioned, her girlfriend would react with tension. "It was while you were still in the hospital, after you finally got stablized. I was furious about the situation. Everything was out of my control. But there was only one person I could hate more than I hated myself that point..."

One Year Earlier

"I don't smell lavender and fear, Dr. Isles."

Maura was trying to keep her face composed, but she knew her anger was slipping through as she stared at Hoyt across the table. "What is it you smell then?"

"Anger, animal, death." Hoyt cocks his head to the side and grins. "I'm sure you can smell it on me as well."

Maura glares a little. "And what would you have to be angry about, Mr. Hoyt?"

Hoyt's grin fades away. "Throughout life, or at this very moment?"

She anger fades a little at his question. She knew she should have been more specific. But she wasn't here to talk about his childhood. Was she? "I was referring to this present moment."

"Ah," He nods, as if he just realized what she was talking about. "ofcourse. Why would my past interest you?" Silence. "I hear Janie's got a gun. Trying to get herself kill before I can get to her myself. Always trying to be the hero, my Janie."

Her anger rises again. "She's not yours."

His grin's again, holding Maura's angry eyes. "But she's not yours either." Maura's caught off gaurd, not really understanding what he was referring to. "Possesive much? Who do you think will get her first, Dr. Isles?"

Maura's shakes her head. "I don't understand."

He eyes studies her for a moment, finding it humorous that Maura really didn't have any idea what she was talking about. "You will."

A/N: What'd You Think?