Your eyes slowly flutter open to the sound of the static-filled song coming from your alarm clock. Before taking a deep breath, you quickly turn over to slam your hand down on the snooze button frantically, letting silence momentarily wash over you. After you realize that no one is awake besides you, you quickly roll yourself out of bed and stumble your way to your closet, flinging it open. You stand back slightly so that you can get it all the way open before grabbing a random t shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. After you set the clothes aside, you quickly push your way through the rest of the clothes to find a Louisville baseball bat leaning upwards in the back corner of the closet.
After all, Friday nights are the worst.
Fridays are your father's famous drinking nights. Well...his main drinking nights. Because when he isn't drunk, he is out somewhere else, doing God knows what. And despite the fact that you are going to a movie with Mitch tonight, (and you ignore the feeling that surges through your body at the thought.), you know that you have to come home some time. And last Friday, it got so bad. It got extremely bad. If you and Shane hadn't ran away for the night...
You never finish the thought.
Jason was smart. He was smart to have left when he could. Of course, you and Shane have no clue as to where the hell he is. He left. He was smart.
And here you are, your only protection, a piece of wood. Here you are, guilt living inside of your stomach, knowing that Shane -your brother, your blood- is only still here, in this situation, because you were too afraid to run. But that was it, wasn't it? You didn't leave because you didn't want to be afraid? You didn't want to be a coward and run away from your problems.
And the most horrible part about that, your brother is suffering, because he doesn't want to run away and leave you.
You try your hardest to quell the sour thoughts in your mind as you get dressed, get downstairs, and hide the bat somewhere easy to reach. As the quietness in the house continues, you realize that Shane is probably already at school. He always left early. You, not up to walking at the moment, considering you are still only half awake, grab your car keys and walk outside as soon as you hear your father shuffling around upstairs. You quickly walk out the door and unlock your car, getting in and starting it up.
One upside to life. Your Mustang. Of course, how cliche. A guy in love with his car.
But you know, that if anyone had this car, they would be in love with it too. It's a '68 for crying out loud!
At the moment, you don't even bother to think of it. Right now, you can't help but think of other things. Too many things all at once. For one, how to procrastinate as much as possible so that you can come home late from the movie. Hopefully, late enough to where your father has crashed by then. Then you wont have to actually attempt to fight back this time. You don't want what happened last Friday. Shane actually tried to fight him back. He actually got a pretty good punch at your father, as you remember. But then you had to comfort Shane when he woke up after the hit your father replied with.
You sigh at that thought, deciding to momentarily push it aside. You pull out of the drive and before you realize it, you are on two other streets and behind Mitchie as she walks to school. You smile at the sight of her, slowing down and rolling down your window. "Hey!" you beam at her, smiling like an idiot as usual when you see her. She smiles and stops, eying your, mumbling a small 'hey' in return. "Want a ride?" you offer, gesturing towards the passenger's seat. She smiles and rolls her eyes. "I am only two more streets from school." she reminds you. You roll your eyes. "Yeah. So?" you say carelessly. She laughs this time. "Oh Nate." she sighs dramatically. "You know I can't resist your offer when you are rolling in that Mustang." she mocks. You grin in return and hit the unlock button for the doors. "Hop in then gorgeous." you joke, slipping your shades on and pulling them down to wink at her. She laughs at you as you pretend to be hurt. She walks around, regardless, and climbs into the seat beside you. You smile over at her, pretending to act cocky and start driving again. You try your hardest not to stare at her and to look at the road.
Kind of hard when all she is wearing is a tank top and denim shorts. You mentally curse the weather. Why does it have to be so hot again? You sigh, rolling your eyes slightly under your shades. You are thankful that Fall is coming, understanding how cold it gets here in Fall. "So..." you say as soon as you realize how quiet it actually is in the car. "How about that weather?"
"Fuckin' suck." you hear her reply in an incoherent mutter. You can't help but chuckle, causing her to look at you. You glance at her. "What?" you laugh. "I try to make small talk and you curse the weather." you shrug. "It's funny." You grin over at her, seeing that there is a ghost of a smile on her lips at the moment.
Just as she starts laughing too, you reach over and press PLAY on your stereo. "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 starts playing in it. You avoid Mitchie's gaze when you realize you didn't have time to change the CD in the stereo.
Because what kind of guy listens to Maroon 5?
You glance over at her, only to see her singing along to the song. You smile to yourself then back out the wind shield. The temptation to pull the CD out of the deck disappears and before you realize, you are both already at school.
Well, school was torture. Probably, mainly, because you were waiting the entire day to go to the movies with Nate. Even though you know that you shouldn't be excited at all. It wasn't like it was a date or anything.
Denial.
The familiar word rings a bell inside of you. OK. So of course you like him. And you know he likes you. But he thinks you don't like him. Or so you told him. So how can you tell him otherwise now? Is he going to think that it is just a phase?
"Dammit." you mutter under your breath, slamming your locker shut. You didn't even realize that you left Nate back in the class room. You just wanted to get out of there. "Hey!" you hear him call, causing your heart rate to pick up speed. "Hey." you say softly. "So you kind of left me back there." he mumbles. "Actually, you just pretty much left in a rush...is everything OK?" he asks, leaning against the locker beside you. You smile over at him and nod. "Everything is great." you practically lie. Technically, things were going OK at least. So that counts for something? Doesn't it?
When you look over to see the look on his face, one thought is left. Of course it doesn't. He always knows!
And you don't know why it bothers you so much! But he always knows! He knows whenever something-anything is wrong! He knows when you lie to him. He just ... knows!
And you don't have the slightest clue why it bothers you. Is it because of how much you want him to really know? Because as far as you can see, he knows every aspect of your life by now. And then you realize, he doesn't know everything. He has been patient. He has been awesome actually. He hasn't pressured you into telling your horrible past.
Which is why you feel the need to.
"What's wrong?" he asks softly, pulling you from your thoughts. You shudder as he puts his hand on your shoulder in just a friendly matter. He obviously realizes, considering he pulled it away as fast as he had put it there in the first place.
You smile small and look up at him, leaning against your locker next to him. "Just wondering what movie we are going to see...?" you ask quietly. He grimaces and looks over at you, struggling to keep his eyes in yours for some reason. "I mean, we can see whatever you want...I just wanted to know...that's if you still even want to go..." you narrow your eyes as you realize you can't stop mumbling and rambling. He smiles. "Well, I do." he says simply. "And we can see whatever you want. We can just pick a movie at random if you want." he offers. You smile and nod. "Yeah. Yeah sure." you say a little breathlessly. Why are you so worried about him canceling?
It's then that you realize you aren't worried about that at all. It is more of the fact that you are afraid he might have gotten over you by now. You waited too long to tell him the truth...
Did you? Or does he still feel the same?
You gasp as you actually open your mouth to ask him. You instantly snap it shut, realizing how stupid you would seem. You tried your hardest to pass that off as a yawn. He just looks at you like you are crazy.
Way to go Torres.
"OK. So random movie." you mutter, nodding, walking down the hall, sure that he would follow behind you. Which he does. "OK. So I'll pick you up at 6?" he offers. You smile over at him and nod.
Then you remember how he took you to the movies that night. The night when you lost everything. You freeze a little. You sense Nate pause mid-walk as well, probably realizing your problem. "Uh..." he says quietly. "We can do something else tonight if that's what you want..." he offers. You narrow your eyes at the floor as you both exit the school and walk out into the heat of the parking lot. "Nate. I don't plan on ruining your night." you say weakly. He smiles over at you and narrows his eyes. You smile too, unable to resist. "What?" you ask. He shakes his head. "Mitch, as long as I am with you, it really doesn't matter where we are." he mumbles, looking away.
Well, at least you know he still likes you.
"What is that supposed to mean?" you ask stupidly. You notice him blush slightly. "Um...it means that you are my best friend...and...Mitchie. You know what it means. Don't ask." he says desperately. You look at him, narrowing your eyes in guilt. He seriously thinks you don't like him back.
God you are stupid. You can't help but start to wonder what reason you had for telling him you didn't feel the same.
"I'm sorry Nate." you find yourself whispering. He narrows his eyes at you. "For what? It isn't your fault that you don't feel the same." he assures you. He is so WRONG!
"But Nate-"
He sighs, stops walking, and turns to you. "What?" he asks. You look up at him, wondering if you are actually about to tell him the truth. "I-" you start, but he interrupts you. "Wait a second." he says breathlessly. "Wait here." he says again. You narrow your eyes in disappointment but comply as he walks away from you and towards his brother. You bite your lip, desperate to just get out of there. He says something short to his brother before walking back over to you. "Everything OK?" you mumble, walking towards the school exit. "Yeah. Everything is fine." he mumbles back. "Hey? Where are you going?" he asks, you narrow your eyes. "Home...?" you raise your eyebrows. "Well, I can give you a ride.." he offers, gesturing towards his car. You smile and laugh a little. It comes out as more of a choked sound. "K." you mutter anyway, despite the fact that you don't want to be in the same car as him at the moment.
You were just about to tell him you felt the same and he walked away.
Sure, you know that that sounds a bit over dramatic, but you knew that if that had happened to someone else, they would feel the same way.
So here you were. "So...still picking me up at 6?" you ask as he drives you home. He grins, causing you to shiver slightly. "Of course." he says as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "We aren't going to the movies. How about we just hang out and watch a couple of movies or something?" he offers. You smile, knowing that he is just doing this for you. You can't help but agree anyway. "Sure. Sounds great. So just..come over...whenever you can. Don't see why you have to wait until six now. My parents aren't home this weekend so..." you trail off, shrugging. He smiles. "Cool. So I'll be over...how about.. I just stay when I drop you off?" he asks. "Uh, if that is OK I mean.." he adds. You smile and laugh. "Sounds great." you mumble, as he pulls into your driveway. You both get out of the car.
As you walk into the house, you walk into the kitchen. "Go ahead and pick out whatever movies you want. I'll be out in a sec!" you call. "K!" he replies from the living room.