Out With A Bang

By Jules

(6/10)

A/N: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

Hello?" Cuddy crossed her arms and cradled the phone against her shoulder. She had just put Rachel down again after a nightmare. She hoped to God the ringing wouldn't wake her up. The line was silent. "Hello?"

"Hey," he exhaled and finally spoke.

"House?" Cuddy sat down in the middle of her living room floor.

"The one and only."

Cuddy's heart was pounding; she didn't want him to know how worried she had been or how relieved she was now. She attempted to steady her voice. "Where are you?"

"In my father's guest room." House looked around the simple blue and beige room.

That wasn't what she expected to here. She had been totally convinced that he had gone on another Vicodin-booze-hooker bender. "…really?"

"Miss me?"

Even as she smiled, she rolled her eyes. "It hasn't even been a full 24 hours yet."

"Hmm… Bad answer to a sensitive and probing question."

"I'll start to miss you when you tell me you aren't coming back," she offered.

"I'm not coming back. How's it feel?"

Cuddy brought her knees up to her chest, holding back her thoughts. "What made you go look for your father?"

House fell back on the bed. "I can't get a break with you. But if you must know, Queen of Deflection, I wanted to meet the guy who made me."

"What's he like?"

House sighed. He still didn't know what he thought of the man. "Nothing like me. I guess there's some credence to that nature verses nuture thing. But then there's the whole sin in conception thing too, so..."

Cuddy frowned. "You think your existence is some kind of karma?"

"As Lady Gaga would say: Baby, I was born this way."

"I think that's a load of crap."

House grinned. "I thought you'd say as much."

Cuddy shook her head. "You'll find any excuse not to be happy—"

"Hey, Cuddy," House interrupted her before she could get started.

"What?" She snapped.

"I'm coming back."

Cuddy closed her eyes. "House."

"What?" He said softly.

"I miss you."

House held the phone closer, listening to the sound of her breathing. After a few moments, he said, "I'll call you tomorrow."

"House."

"Yeah?"

"I love you," she said without any pretense or expectation.

"Yeah?" House smiled, thinking the same.

"Yeah."

"Night, Cuddy."

"Goodnight, House." When she hung up, House held on to the phone. It was the first time since it ended that he had dared to hope. Finally, he got up and stuck his head into hallway. His father was reading the paper at his modest dining room table.

"I take it you called her?" He didn't look up.

"How'd you know?" House asked his father's back.

He turned around and looked at his son knowingly. "You're trying your damnedest not to smile."

House immediately dropped it and began to nose around the living room, picking up and putting down pictures and trinkets. House lifted a black and white picture that was clearly his father with his own father. He looked happy, loved, and protected. House frowned at him. "You're really okay with this?" He gestured back to the guest room.

"I invited you, didn't I? I'd like to get to know you, son."

House screwed his face, feeling defensive and awkward. "Bonding with the long lost biological father is a little too Oprah for me."

"Then sit down, shut up, take the obituary page and be anti-social." He held out the paper. "I don't care whether you talk to me or not. You still have a bed to sleep in tonight."

Housed nodded, considering. He ignored the offered paper and sat down across from his father. "What happened between you and my mother?" He asked tentatively.

His father put the paper down slowly. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I've known your mother since elementary school. I always held a great…esteem for her, I suppose you could say. But, we grew up, she married and I went into the priesthood. I never thought I'd see her again. Then, a few years later, she returned and started going to my church. She told me all about Peru and Singapore with such flair and excitement. It was a life so different from my own. I never realized we were both so lonely. I fell in love with her. We would have long talks about everything, nothing. It was….lovely."

House thought about his parents relationship—formal, stilted, unaffectionate—it had been nothing like what his father described. "But you still chose God over her."

"It happened so fast. One day she was here, the next day she was gone again. I suppose I could have fought for her—I just never had the chance. I take it you traveled a lot as a child?"

House nodded, his face paling.

"Was John a good father to you?"

"He hated me," House said bluntly.

His father worried his lips. "I'm sorry to hear that."

House shrugged, not wanting to talk about his past. "He's dead. It's over."

"But you carry the scars with you. It makes it difficult to love when you don't naturally trust people."

House stood up, gripping his leg as he moved towards the screen window. Talking to his father like this struck a cord of anger within him. So much advice and wisdom, but what good was it? He didn't need to hear this now. It wouldn't make a difference. He tried to swallow it, stay focused. Not keep playing the "what if I had a normal, loving father" game in his mind.

"I've known Cuddy almost half of my life. Before, during, and after…. I guess we're back somewhere close to the beginning now."

"Familiarity and trust are two different things. Do you trust her?"

"With my life. It's me she can't trust. I was clean for almost 2 years."

"Was that difficult?" His father said without judgement.

"Sometimes. Other times I forgot about the pain because she was there."

"Happiness can do that."

"Things just got…too real. I was scared to lose her. Scared of what that might feel like."

"But you lost her anyway."

"Not completely."

"I doubt you ever will. You both need to figure out what works for you. Maybe you aren't meant to be a couple in any traditional sense. That doesn't mean you can't love her and be there for each other."

House nodded. Traditional was something they definitely didn't do well. "I don't want to live without her, but I'm not sure she can stand living with me."

He got up and gripped House's shoulder. "You can't make someone choose you. But you can give her the choice. I have faith in you, son. Nothing is hopeless. Good night, son."