For Better or Worse

Part 8

Reading guide

Italic - thoughts

"Normal speech"

'Quoted speech, words etc.

Sasuke glanced at the time on his wrist watch. Then he sat back in his office chair and tried to think of what to do to distract himself from thinking about Neji who was scheduled to come to Sasuke's office in…

Shit! Two minutes? Sasuke panicked. Neji would walk through that door in less than two minutes and Sasuke was still fidgeting; still trying to figure out how he was going to act around Neji.

Okay, calm down, just act natural, he hasn't been around you for a while, so he won't know how to read you like he used to, just stay calm.

At eight o'clock sharp, there was a knock at Sasuke's office door. Despite his expectancy of the said knock, Sasuke still jumped at the sound; startled. He felt foolish at his jumpy behaviour.

As you sow, so shall you reap. Sasuke had to agree with that line; he was the one who had agreed to hire Neji in spite of their unresolved past, and he had been the one to challenge Neji about the kiss last weekend. So yeah, his nervousness was the result of his own doing. Sasuke just wished that next time he does this sowing business, he sows something that would be worth reaping. Definitely not this; not something that is going to give him sweaty palms and make his heart pound painfully as if he were put up for an execution, No thank you.

So, as he proceeded to call out a 'come in', he rested his elbows on the desk and laced his fingers tightly to keep them from shaking. To make himself appear calm and collected, he rested his chin on his laced fingers.

Neji opened the door to Sasuke's office. Even though he didn't know how Sasuke was going to act about the kiss, Neji had decided to act natural. Meaning, he was not going to pretend anymore. Be damned his first idea to keep pretending and lying in order to stay at Sasuke's side; that's not what he wanted; he wanted Sasuke and everything.

"Good morning Sasu-chan" he greeted Sasuke and watched as Sasuke's eyes widened then his mouth opened as though he was about to say something, then closed. Then open again, then he just frowned.

Gotcha Neji felt like giving himself a pat on the shoulder; he had made Sasuke speechless. Not that it was that hard for him, it was just that, he hadn't been sure if he could still make Sasuke show his expressions in front of him since their parting four years ago.

Sasuke frowned even more when Neji's smile broadened. Really, of all the things he had expected from Neji, this was not it; Neji calling him by the nickname he gave him in high school, and smiling at him like there was nothing amiss. Sasuke was uncertain of how to respond to that.

Sasuke was also immensely confused by how warm he had felt when Neji had used his nickname.

"Don't we have a meeting this morning?" Neji asked when there was no verbal response from Sasuke.

"Yes, let's go." Sasuke answered and made for the door to the conference room.

"And Neji, don't call me that" he commanded as he walked off.

"Don't call you what?"

"You know what."

"No I don't"

"Don't play with me, I'm really in a bad mood today" Sasuke warned. But alas! His efforts were wasted since Neji knew when Sasuke was in a bad mood or not. And right now, Sasuke was not in a bad mood.

Don't get excited now. One step at a time, until he trusts you. Neji thought.

The meeting had gone well as usual. Well until, it was time for Neji to say his introductions to the employees.

Sasuke watched Neji make the introduction. Damn, after four years, the man was even more hot! Sasuke couldn't help himself. His eyes travelled from Neji's silky hair, which Sasuke remembered running his fingers in while Neji pounded into him.

Shit, don't think about that! Sasuke chastised himself. Nonetheless, his mind was long gone. And his body wasn't far behind, if the throb he felt below his belt was any indication.

His eyes glided to the pink lips; those lips had done wonders. An image of Neji swallowing his member flashed in his mind and Sasuke sat up from the chair hastily, then he sat back down. Everyone stared. Yes they stared shamelessly. Well who could blame them? It wasn't every day that they saw their perfect uptight boss act… well… like that. Never.

Neji noticed Sasuke's discomfort. So before anyone could say anything, Neji wrapped up the introductions and Sasuke dismissed everyone.

When Sasuke glance up after the last person had gone through the door, he was surprised to see Neji still sitting in his chair. Of all the people, Neji was not the one Sasuke wanted to have him witness his… well what do you call, something like this? Something where the boss gets aroused in front of his employees and makes a scene?

"Is there anything else you need?" he asked Neji coldly.

" As a matter of fact, there is one thing." As he said this, Neji got up from the chair and walked to Sasuke's chair. Then he sat on the table facing Sasuke.

"What was that all about?"

"What"

"Well, are you telling me that that's part of your meeting routine, where you stand up from the chair as if you have seen a ghost? No not ghost, because then your face wouldn't be flashed now would it? Sasu-chan?"

Sasuke's face seemed to redden even more. What had been going through Sasuke's mind? Neji wondered.

"Enough, we are done here." Yes they were done, but Sasuke had a problem; he had a hard on and he couldn't get up from the chair without Neji seeing it.

"No we are not done."

"Yes we are done, get away from me and start with your work" Sasuke was getting annoyed. And let's not forget his embarrassment. It was one of those moments where Sasuke wished that a great power, somewhere, really existed, and if he were to tap his foot on the floor three times, the whole floor would open up and swallow him whole.

"Sasuke, I can't start work yet, because it's my first day and you are supposed to give me what you want done." Neji responded smartly.

"Smart ass." Sasuke mattered.

Neji noticed Sasuke's hard on and his body appreciated it greatly because now, his mind was becoming hazy with lust . As aforementioned his useful part of the brain was shutting down. So anything he thought of, was 'consequence free'. He began leaning towards Sasuke.

Sasuke flinched back and the flinch didn't go unnoticed by Neji. Even so, Neji tried to harden his heart to not react to Sasuke's response to him.

Sasuke leaned further back into the chair, Neji couldn't be doing this, no! He couldn't be doing this, not here, not now, not ever! Sasuke didn't want to go back to that time; to the time where he thought the world of Neji and he would have given up the world just to have Neji.

How could Neji be so cruel? Why did he come back? What had he been up to in the past four years? Did he marry? Was he still married? Did he have children?; a family? Had he been happy? Sasuke wanted to know all of this and more, yet he couldn't bring himself to ask Neji; he didn't want to hear it. Sasuke wondered why he hadn't kept his mouth shut, that night four years ago.

As Neji's face came closer, Sasuke shut his eyes tightly, maybe closing his eyes would shut this whole thing out, then maybe when he opens them, it would had just been a dream.

Please don't come any closer, please don't come any closer! Leave me alone please before it's too late. I can't do this again. Sasuke begged in his mind.

Four years. It had taken him four years to come back to Japan, and he had come back because he had thought that he was finally over Neji. But he guessed all that effort had been for nothing because since Neji had come back, all he had done was worry and remember the past.

Neji's lips touched his. The heat that small kiss ignited in his body made his heart ache. Sasuke wanted to cry. Why? Why was it so easy for him to give in to Neji's touch? His whole being craved for it, even though his mind told him no.

As he opened his lips to deepen the kiss, Sasuke let the tears he had been holding back flow. But he still kept his eyes tightly shut.

The words from that night four years ago echoed in his mind.

'Choose me.'

Sasuke's body shook with emotions. God he was pathetic.

Neji pulled back; there was something wrong with Sasuke, something entirely different from what he had thought.

Sasuke was crying. And Neji's heart ached to take away the pain, to make Sasuke smile. Let him be angry. But not cry.

Sasuke opened his watery eyes and Neji held his gaze. The pain, the confusion, the anger and something else. Those eyes were always so easy to read. But at that moment, Neji wished he couldn't read them.

Sasuke looked down then said,

"Please leave. I will send for you when you are settled in your office." Neji hesitated. He felt a sense of de javu; Sasuke had sent him away that night and that had been the end, should he leave? Or wait until Sasuke calmed down to talk. Deciding that this time there wasn't anything holding him back from pursuing Sasuke even if he leaves the country, Neji silently walked out of the conference room and prayed to have another chance.

After the door clicked shut, Sasuke leaned on the table. He couldn't believe what had just happened, he cried, that was so not cool. And that was not the biggest problem, he had been the one to deepen the kiss even though it had been Neji who had started it. The message was very clear to all concerned; he wanted Neji. But what the hell were the tears about?

"Sigh" Never mind. I need to focus on building my team. Maybe I should just let Neji go. Sasuke thought as he got up to go back to his office.

"No. definitely not. I can't just tell him 'oh I have decided not to hire you anymore' after telling him yes. His pride would not let him.

With that decided Sasuke made his way to his office.

In the afternoon, just before lunch, Sasuke had called Neji's office phone. With a neutral voice he asked if he could come into Neji's office.

After saying yes, Neji put the phone down and waited for Sasuke to come into the office. He suddenly became nervous. Not that he hadn't been nervous earlier, it was just that, he had made himself focus on settling into the office that he had sort of forgotten about the kiss of last weekend.

Now that morning's kiss, and Sasuke's tears… well, what the hell was he supposed to do? He hadn't thought about it much. Now Sasuke was coming into the office. Neji just hoped that things go well.

Well, things had gone well. As though in an unspoken agreement between the two, the last weekend's was not mentioned, and the kiss that morning was not spoken about.

A week later…

Sasuke was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice a person walking in front of him until he bumped into the person and the said person landed on his bottom. He felt irritation course throughout his body. And without thinking he yelled,

"Look where you're going. Idiot."

"Who are you calling an idiot, you bastard!" the person Sasuke had bumped into yelled back at him. The glare that was directed at him didn't even faze him.

Then, suddenly, the person screamed and run off like hell.

Confused, Sasuke decided to continue on his way to his brother's office. His brother wasn't in the office, so he decided to make himself comfortable while he waited.

Itachi walked into his office. In the office was someone sitting on one of the sofas. That someone was his little brother Sasuke who was supposed to be here the day before.

"What makes you think you can just waltz here whenever you feel like?" asked Itachi.

"Hello to you too, Brother. And you called me here." Sasuke greeted his brother.

"I called you to come the day before and you come in today?"

"Well I have work you know."

The work that you dump on me sometimes. Thought Sasuke.

"Well you won't be having that work if I feel like it"

"Come on now brother, you know I had to complete or the important documents before coming here. Besides, you would be chewing my head off if I hadn't completed them." Sasuke said by way of defence.

"Oh well, I guess as long as you are here. And besides you have come on a good day when there is someone I would like you to meet."

"I see, I thought I was only meeting your adopted twins. Anyway why is there an idiot wandering the halls of the mansion?"

"By any chance is that idiot blond?" Asked Itachi with a menacing aura which Sasuke didn't notice, hence he replied:

"Yeah, blond and loud." Sasuke replied.

"Ah. I see." Itachi said in a playful tone.

"In that case…" he paused as if to build up the suspense.

"Don't you ever call him an idiot ever again. Sasuke" Itachi banged his hands on the table and fixed a deadly glare towards his little brother; who had the nerve to insult the person he loved. And that said person was making him irate at that moment.

Itachi's eyes appeared to glint red for a moment; and Sasuke knew that when that happens, it meant his brother was really serious and nearly out of control; that meant whomever he sets his eyes on to destroy would not be discriminated by who they were. Such as a brother. Did this mean that Itachi cared about this blond that much that he would destroy his own brother?

Sigh, afraid so. Thought Sasuke. He had been scared before for coming on the wrong day; now he really was frightened for his life.

"Sorry." He apologized.

"Well, that blond you met is the one I would like to talk to you about and the twins of course. You see, his name is Uzumaki Naruto." Itachi paused for a reaction from his brother. When Sasuke seemed to lose some blood from his face, Itachi smirked; knowing that his brother remembered what had happened six years ago when he had called him during his… time with Naruto in the hotel.

"You see, a few days ago, I adopted two five years old boys without knowing their parent. I sent out posters for a babysitter. And the first person I got was Naruto. After years and years of wishing for Naruto to come back to me, yesterday, he came back. Though it wasn't because he came back for me, but because he came for a job. When I saw Naruto, I noticed some resemblance between the twins and him."

Itachi had proceeded to tell Sasuke about Naruto and how he had messed up again, by kissing him when he was supposed to earn his trust.

"He still responds to me though, even after six years." Itachi said, and Sasuke could see a flicker of hope in his brother's eyes

"So he still responds to you. Does that mean there is a chance that he still has feelings for you?" asked Sasuke hopefully. Then, he realised that that question applied to he himself as well. Did he still have feelings for Neji?

This and that are different things! He screamed in his mind.

"I'm sure he does, just like I do. But he is afraid to trust me after what I had done to him, and what he has been through all his life. That is why yesterday's move was not really a trust earning move."

Sasuke wanted to reassure his brother but he didn't want to give his brother force hope, because the end results depended on Itachi and Naruto. He sympathised with them though; he and Neji were in a similar situation. However Sasuke was not going to mention any of it; his brother had his own problems to deal with.

What a pair of brothers we are. Sasuke thought dejectedly, as he walked out of Itachi's office.

Sasuke clung to the wall of the hallway corner, with all the things that had happened in Itachi's office, he had completely forgotten that his assistant had come too; well it was more like his assistant dragged him into his own car and was driven here.

What had really happened was, Sasuke had opened the door of his mansion to go to his car for his journey to his brother's place when he was greeted by his assistant Neji, who was leaning on his car in a pose that said 'you wanna piece of me'

"Get off my car." Sasuke had demanded

"Morning Sasuke." Neji had greeted him; unfazed by the command.

"I heard you are going to your brother's place. So I came to be your driver."

"I don't need you. I already have a chauffeur" Sasuke dismissed him.

"Come let me take that bag for you, as for your chauffeur, he is a little busy, I sent him to the shop for me." He grabbed Sasuke's bag and put it in the boot of the car. He opened the passenger's door and pushed Sasuke in the car. Before Sasuke could do anything he started the car.

"You. Stop the car now. And how did you get my car keys."

"Oh, I got them from your driver. So just relax and let me do the driving"

Sasuke couldn't argue anymore but he made a note to kill him when they get back to work. So all he had to do while at his brother's house was to avoid the bastard as much as possible. This guy annoyed the hell out of him. Now here he was hiding like an idiot in the corners.

Neji passed by and Sasuke let out the breath he hadn't even realised he had been holding.

For some reason Itachi and his assistant had decided to go somewhere, So, Naruto was left in the hands of Sasuke and Ino, Itachi's stylists. More like in the hands of Ino, since Sasuke was busy avoiding Neji who was around Naruto.

Naruto, Ino, Sasuke and two of Itachi's bodyguards were sitting in the lounge when Neji walked in the room with the twins and their teachers, Kakashi and Iruka.

"There you are Sasuke." He greeted with an unusual cheerfulness, which made Sasuke wince from shivers running thought out his body from it. Then he decided to ignore him and walked out the room; he didn't even notice the kids hanging onto each of Neji's arms. Rude much. You may say, but Sasuke was so confused he didn't think talking to Neji would be a good idea; he didn't want to end up saying the wrong thing.

The table which could accommodate sixteen people was set. That was one of the tables in the mansion; there were other tables, larger than this one. So everyone sat in their chairs ready for the meal to be served.

Itachi sat in the high chair and kept glancing at Naruto who sat to his right and next to him sat the twins; Fuyu then Natsu. Across from Naruto sat Sasuke who looked as uncomfortable as Naruto was. The only difference was that Naruto was uncomfortable from sitting next to Itachi and Sasuke was uncomfortable from sitting next to Neji who was gliding his fingers along Sasuke's thigh.

Sai, one of Itachi's bodyguards sat next to Neji, and he looked like he didn't even want to be there; next to him sat Kisame, also one of Itachi's bodyguards, who looked like he was waiting for something exciting to happen. Sakura, who had joined the group later in the day, sat next to Kisame across from Ino who was giving her evils equalling her's.

Ino and Sakura's rivalry was… well the Uchiha brothers' fault? Not quite; but it was because they worked for the Uchiha brothers. They would argue on who worked for the better Uchiha brother, whose boss was the most handsome or something like my boss is better because he is the main president, And so on. And they would go on and on about it until the insults would transit to their bodily features.

Across from Kisame sat Deidara who was busy having a conversation on random topics with Natsu. Iruka who sat next to Ino was bent on killing Kakashi with just a glare, and Kakashi who sat next to Sakura without his book but with dark shades that were a little more acceptable to be worn indoors than earlier ones, seemed to enjoy Iruka's death glares. There were other guests who were supposed to join them that night but they couldn't make it.

"Hey Sasuke, you haven't met Fuyu-chan and Natsu-chan properly. Well Natsu-chan, introduce yourself to uncle Sasu." Neji said; wanting to press more of 'his' Sasuke's buttons. He smirked; the day will come when he will call him 'his' without any hesitation. Neji was graced with an anticipated glare from Sasuke.

Dear god, stop it already. Sasuke wanted to scream that out loud but, well you can understand the circumstances.

The next day, everyone had been busy preparing for that evening's party. However, Itachi had buried himself in his office the whole day. Despite Sasuke's efforts to drag him out; Sasuke had even tried sending the twins to distract Itachi from work so he would stop working. Sadly the twins came back a few minutes later with Ino.

"Ino, why do you have the kids?" asked an annoyed Sasuke.

"Well, because I was called to go get them by Itachi-san." She replied with atone that said 'isn't it obvious?'

"Well you should have left them there."

"And get fired? No, thank you very much. I love my job. And speaking of job, don't distract me anymore, don't you know I am in charge of everyone's clothing for this evening? Well not you and Neji anyway, because you have Sakura for that." Sasuke didn't even get to say anything when,

"Oh, that reminds me you two are coming with me. You need to try on your little cute suits." She giggled and took Fuyu and Natsu by theirs hands and walked away from Sasuke. Natsu called out,

"bye uncle Sasu" to whom Sasuke just waved his hand; he was confused on what had just happened; Ino was yelling at him one minute and the next thing he knew was that she was giggling with the twins, what a change of moods. Moreover, that had distracted him from reacting to the nickname. He could never get used to Ino's mood swings. Though she was a nice girl and that is why Sasuke had recommended her to his brother.

Women. He thought.

Damn Neji for telling the twins to call him Uncle Sasu; well he liked the Uncle part, not the Sasu part; again, that just brought back high school memories.

Sasuke was bored, so it wasn't a surprise that he had snuck away from the stifling group and the flirting women at the party. Most of all it gave him the chance to get away from Neji.

Sasuke sat on one of the one sitter sofas in the lounge area of the Mansion's hall. Much to his displeasure, Neji sat across from him; pointedly flirting with him. Sasuke thanked the gap in between, which was occupied by a coffee table; and much to Neji's disappointment.

Neji's mind was playing different scenarios about what he could do with Sasuke in the suit; he had seen Sasuke a million times over in a suit, but he just could never get tired of the image; more like he wished he could put that suit on and off Sasuke's body himself. Sasuke wore a dark blue suit and tie and a white shirt. His black slick shoes were a must to finish off his look. His hair didn't change its usual style, but that didn't ruin his sophistication.

Sasuke was feeling annoyed. He couldn't help glancing at Neji's body now and then. Neji wore a cream suit with a cream tie. Even the shoes were cream, with the exception of the shirt which was brown. His dark brown hair was let down; Sasuke felt like running his fingers through it; to feel what it felt like between his fingers again. He shook his head at what he had just been thinking about and quickly, he put on his annoyed expression on his face.

Before the party, ended, Sasuke had gone to bed. So had Neji; Disappointedly.

The next day, Sasuke had had to endure another time with Neji when he had to baby sit his brother's twins with Neji. But he had gotten away, when Natsu, one of the twins had begun crying and not knowing what to do Sasuke had gone to Deidara's office.

"Sasuke-kun, what's wrong?" Deidara asked referring to the sobbing Natsu.

"Well, you see, he was all happy a few minutes ago, then he suddenly started crying saying he wants his Papa. Neji couldn't calm him down and I couldn't either. He calmed down only when I told him that I will take him to you because you know where his papa is."

"Well I don't know. So please leave the office I'm trying to work here-" a ring on the phone cut him short.

After the phone call, Deidara rubbed his forehead; chasing away the oncoming migraine.

"Need some help?" Sasuke asked noticing Deidara's fatigue.

"Sure." He quickly answered; what a good idea; why hadn't he thought of that earlier? Sasuke could have helped him from the start.

"Alright then. But you need to step out for a moment, walk in the garden or something for some fresh air." Instructed Sasuke. Deidara didn't even complain like he always did whenever Sasuke tried to give him instructions; he would respond with a 'you are not my boss' which would fire up an argument.

It was evening and Neji and Sasuke had to go back to their houses.

A fortnight, and a few restless nights along with overworking, both Sasuke and Neji had had enough; of just flirting, if not that, avoiding each other; the avoiding part, hadn't been so successful since they worked closely with each other.

The one to make the move was Neji. They were walking to the car park.

"Sasuke we need to talk." He wasn't asking, he was demanding it. And damn if that didn't tick Sasuke off. Bastard.

"hn." Was his smart response.

" Is that a yes or no?"

"When?" Sasuke asked, completely ignoring Neji's question.

"Sigh, anytime, today, tomorrow." Even though he had had enough, Neji wasn't going to push things; he was going to let Sasuke make the decisions.

"It's Friday, so let's talk tonight." Sasuke said nonchalantly. But he was as nervous as hell.

Does Neji want to talk about the same things as me?

After two weeks of having Neji around, Sasuke couldn't lie to himself anymore; he still loved Neji, and he wanted him as much as he had wanted him when they had been younger. And Neji had made it clear that he wanted Sasuke. However, Sasuke wasn't going to go into this head first like he had done before; this time he wanted to know that he was the only one beforehand. He supposed he could have found out if Neji was married or not from his brother, or he could have hired someone to dig up Neji's personal life. But it hadn't felt right; Sasuke wanted, no. he needed to hear it from Neji.

"Okay, so do you want to talk about it over dinner or come to my place?" Neji felt stupid asking such a dull question; he knew very well that whatever, they were going to talk about, could not be discussed during a meal in public.

"Your place, I guess." Sasuke didn't see anything wrong with going to Neji's place. Actually, he didn't want to go back to his silent, empty mansion. He was still in the process of hiring people.

"Okay, follow me in your car."

Parking his car besides, Neji's car, Sasuke took deep calming breaths before getting out of the car.

Silently Neji led the way to his apartment door. Upon opening the door, Neji let Sasuke get in first before following. As soon as the door clicked shut, Neji pulled Sasuke to him. Now Sasuke's back rested against his chest.

"Hey, what the hell, let go." Sasuke tried to get away, but Neji's arms wound around his waist even tighter.

"Sorry, Sasuke, I can't help it, I can't do this pretend business anymore." Neji confessed as he buried his face in Sasuke's shoulder.

"What are you talking about? Pretend? Pretend to what? Anyway, I came here so that we could talk, let go so we can talk." Even though he said that, Sasuke didn't want Neji to let go.

"Sorry, Sasuke, I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused you, I know I hurt you and if you can't forgive me, I will understand. But the truth is, I love you, I have always loved you and there is no sigh of that changing. I know I hurt you Sasuke, but you have always been the one for me, always been my choice. I love you so much. I was a fool, and had no courage to fight for us, but if I could, I would go back to that time, and never leave the room, even if you had to beg me to. I would have never left you. Can I make it up to you, Sasuke? Please." Neji didn't care for dignity anymore. What was dignity, without Sasuke?

Sasuke was stunned into silence, of all the things, he hadn't expected Neji to break down. He could feel the tears on his shoulder along with the shaking of Neji's body. When Neji slid against the door to the floor still clinging to Sasuke, Sasuke went down with him. Sitting between Neji's legs, and leaning back into Neji's chest, Sasuke rested his head, on Neji's shoulder, and just let his own tears flow unbidden.

What had gone wrong with them? In any other circumstances, would things have turned out differently? If Sasuke had stayed overseas and hadn't come back to japan that senior year, would he have met Neji? If this was meant to be, would they have met anyway, even if they didn't meet before.

Endless what ifs, which Sasuke couldn't give answers to run in his head.

Why did things have to turn out like this? They were both deeply in love with each other, but circumstances and family duties had torn them apart. Fate had brought them back together, but with unhealed wounds; lost trust. Love hurts. But why is it that people still go for it? Did the wounds heal in time? Was the pain worth it?

Was Neji worth the pain?

TBC