Title: Closer
Pairing: Amelia Shepherd
Rating: PG13, sexual themes mentioned.
Summary: prompt: Intimacy. Amelia ponders her intimate relationships.
She knows the definition of intimacy. In the simplest definition - to be intimate. It also means to screw someone. That she knows about. Man, does she know about that. She sighs, frustrated at her lack of screwing anything. But now, is not the time.
Now, she has to think about intimacy. And Addie pops into her mind. If there is any person in this word that Amelia has an intimate relationship with, it's that woman. It's like... It must be the look Addie gives that makes her open up, or maybe that she was the only one to take her in when she was blazed out of her mind on pills. Her and Derek, even though Derek barely spoke to her. It's how Amelia knows Addie would be a great mom, but would never tell her because Addison would never let her live it down and she doesn't need to be thinking about having babies anymore than she already is.
She's supposed to be intimate with the addicts in her meetings and maybe she is, in that we-all-want-drugs-but-can't-have-them-so-let's-sit-around-and-talk-about-our-feelings way, but that's fake. She doesn't honestly care about anyone in that group. Well, she takes that back. She cared about Charlotte when she was there, craving.
Another thing she'd never admit, but she looks up to Charlotte. Definitely after this rape thing. Anyone could go through 50 stitches and no pain killers just because of a little thing like an addiction was a hero in her book. Still, she and Charlotte would never be close, intimate. Charlotte might be strong, but she was still weak too. Broken and rape-y. Kind of a buzz-kill at the moment, but maybe if the woman ever got back to the hard bitch she was, they could be friends. Well, as close to friends as Amelia got.
Maybe that was her problem. She'd never really gotten close to anyone (other than Addie, of course and only that was because of Derek). She gave people glimpses of her only to push them away with crass speaking and/or one night stands. And why should she? Everyone lets you down. People die. Couples divorce. What's the use of getting closer?