I pulled the CD out of my walkman and placed it in the case, before pulling the CD that was numbered 2 out of my bag and placing it in the walkman. I had to see what was happening, I wanted to know why Mickie James would want to end her life.

I then hit play.

So, there is two reasons why you are listening to this CD, one you are waiting to see if this CD is revolved around you, two you actually care. Im hoping that it is the second one, but I really don't know.

I care Mickie, I just wish you could have seen that.

Well, Zack Ryder, you are up. I have a pretty fair idea that you have no idea why you are on here right? Well, you probably thought you actually did something good right? Voting me best ass in the school. You probably thought I would be happy at that right? Not angry.

But listen.

I moved away from the platform and made my way over to the bench that was only a couple of feet away. As soon as I got to the bench, I sat down with a big huff and buried my head in my hands as I continued to listen to the voice of Mickie James. The sun is still up, but I know that in a couple of hours the sun will start to dip into the night.

First Zack, you probably think I am over reacting right? That I am doing something stupid, getting my panties in a bunch. But you are listening to these tapes right? Sure I may be pressuring you with a second set of tapes, but I have a fair idea that you actually WANT to listen to these.

I look across the seat and see a family in their yard, laughing and having a good time. For them, everything is normal, nothing like this would change their lives right now. But for me and whoever else receives these tapes… all our lives are going to change. All of them.

I remember sitting in first period English before your list came. Im not so sure if our teacher had a good writing, Mr. McMahon I think her name was. But well, she had no prep work done so obviously everything was ok. All she had us set was to watch a movie. But while we were watching the movie, I could always hear the fain whispers of all our classmates, and for some reason I knew it was directed at me. Everytime I looked up and around the class, all the whispers would stop, but every time my head was down, they would start again.

Eventually I saw a piece of paper making its way around all the desks…

The paper. The paper which said Mickie had the best ass in school.

Until finally, it made its way to the desk behind me, where Ezekiel was sitting. All those who were watching me intently, and then watching Ezekiel, he took a peek over the back of my chair didn't he? Because it was then I heard him say to the guy next to him "Damn right she does"

I gripped my hair in my hands and again I had to fight the urge to punch someone or something. I cant believe how stupid people could be. Ezekiel wasn't one to talk much, but when he did it always came out wrong at times.

I heard the boy next to him stiffle a laugh and then I quickly whipped my head around and glared at him.

"You bet what is?" I asked. He said nothing, he just handed me the piece of paper. I saw his friend slap him on the back of the head, but I already had the piece of paper, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Right?

I was in her English class, and when I first got that list, I thought nothing of it. Although there was a few girls names on there I didn't know, I knew Mickie. I laughed to myself when I saw her name, Mickie James was building quite a reputation in such a short amount of time.

If only I had realized sooner that the reputation started in Dolph Zigglers mind.

I then titlted the piece of paper so I could read it, and on it read 'WHO'S HOT AND WHO'S NOT'

I looked up and saw the Mr. McMahon making his way over to me. So I quickly skimmed the list seeing where I was, I didn't actually care but something just peaked my interest. I started at the bottom and actually I was surprised I wasn't there. But then I looked at the top and I was surprised to read I was number one as well as being that I had the best ass in school.

I remember seeing Mickie that day in the school hallways, she was walking past me, holding her books. While she walked past me, I looked back at her and I had to agree, she did belong in that category.

Mr. McMahon came and quickly snatched the piece of paper off my desk, but I didn't mind, because I had found my name. I then looked across the room at Barbie Blank, or as she liked to be called, Kelly. As expected I she looked pissed.

Why you ask?

Because she was at the bottom of that list, right at the bottom.

Because she was at the end of that list. Right at the bottom with no one below her. Her pencil was tapping on her book, almost as if she was speaking morse code as her eyes continued to glare at me. My only thought was this, im so glad I don't know morse code.

You want to know what I really think though? Kelly is so much prettier than I am. You see, you could write a whole list of each body part, and right beside all of them would be her name.

I disagree Mickie, your name would be next to all of them. You were the prettiest girl.

In all honesty though, Kelly didn't belong at the bottom of the list, she belonged where I was.

No Mickie, no she didn't.

But Zack, I don't really think anyone cared where Kelly was, they were only worried about who was on the top of the list. But then again, no one knew why she was on that side of the list, except for you…and me…and Kelly.

And a lot more, im guessing, are about to find out!

Maybe some people think that I did belong on the side of the list you put me on Zack, but then again, I didn't. But let me put it this way… I don't think that my ass was the deciding factor. You want to know what I think the deciding factor was? Revenge.

I run my hands down my face before I place my hands on my knees and push myself up. Then I left the park.

But I have to admit this Zack, this CD isn't about your motivation Zack, although it is coming up. This is about the way people act when they see your name on a stupid list…

I couldn't hear her speaking so I turned up the volume only to hear, what sounded like a piece of paper being unfolded. I continued to make my way down the street. I looked around and noticed the sun was slowly starting to set, the clouds were now being reflected as an orange color.

Ok ; so I just looked at every name on a list that I have written down that completes these tapes, and I noticed something. Every single thing documented here would have never happened had you, Zack, not written my name on that stupid list. It's that simple.

You needed a name to put down opposite Kelly. And since everyone already had a perverted image of me thanks to Dolphs little number, I was the perfect choice. Wasn't I?

And the snowball just keeps rolling ; thanks Dolph. Thanks a lot.

Even though I don't like the kid. Zacks list was just a joke. He had no idea that this would happened, no one knew it would affect you like this Mickie. This isn't fair.

But then I begin to wander again, where am I in this list? Why am I on this list to begin with? What did I do to Mickie that has scarred her? Two people, or that I know of, know why I am on this list. Do they view me differently because of it?

No, they shouldn't! Because my name doesn't belong on here? I did nothing wrong to Mickie. Nothing.

This tape isn't about why you did what you did Zack, it is about the repercussions of what you did. Wait, more importantly its about the repercussions that happened to me. Its about those things you didn't plan - that you couldn't plan.

Oh God Mickie. Why!

I then hit pause.

There is another red star on the map, one that I am at now. I look up. Its Mickie's old house. I remember once this was my destination, but not to see Mickie, no. An old couple , and one night, the man was driving his car a few blocks from here. He was talking to his wife on the phone, when another car hit him.

I shake my head of the memory. I don't want to see it. But I cant help it. The man was hysterically crying. "I need to call her! I need to call my wife"

His phone had disappeared in the crash. We had tried to use my phone to ring her, but her phone just kept ringing. She was confused, to afraid to press the green button and answer. She wanted to stay on the line, the line her husband had called her on.

The man told me his wife had a bad heart. She had to know he was ok.

I had to ring the phone, and I told the man I would continue to try and call his wife. But he told me I needed to tell her, that I needed to over and see her, tell her that he was alright. Their house wasn't far from there.

A small group had gathered, some of the other people were taking care of the person in the other car. He was a senior, in his last year of high school.

I then raced towards the house. Little did I know that it was the house Mickie had once lived in.

I couldn't help but wonder though, Mickie had said that if that stupid list that Zack had made didn't happen, that nothing would of happened. Im not exactly questioning what happened, but I cant help but wonder what would have happened if she had never met Dolph. Would everything be ok? Would she still be here? Would any of this even happened?

I needed to know more, I felt like I needed to know more.

I hit play.

You see Zack, the day your list came out. It wasn't too traumatic, I survived. I knew it was a joke. So did everyone that I had passed in the halls that were all huddled together looking at the list… it was just ONE BIG joke.

But let me tell you what happens when people say you have the best ass in school, because I know that is something you will never experience Zack. It gives people -some people- the go ahead to treat you as if you were that one specific body part.

Need an example? Go to B,3 marked on your maps people. The local dairy.

I have no idea why it is called the 'local' dairy, as everyone always by passes it and goes to another store. I always used to go there though, as I had a sweet tooth. Which means I went there every day.

I have never actually gone into that particular dairy, as I always thought other stores of shops were better.

Most of the time, the local dairy was always empty, just me and the guy behind the register.

I walk along the sidewalk in front of Mickie's old house. A driveway climbs up a gentle slope before disappearing into the garage.

In the local Dairy, there was always a wire rack holding all the best candies. The best. Well, they are my favorite anyway. Before I even enter the store, the man behind the counter always rings up the cash register, as he knows I never leave without a candy bar.

The man behind the counter, who was always there when I walked in, his name was Chance. He actually was an attractive guy, but he never spoke much, actually, now that I think of it, he didn't speak at all. But that's beside the point, as Chance plays a part very soon. Not a bad part, but a good part.

Ever since I can remember, Mickie always rode a yellow bike. I remembered speaking to her very briefly for a while before the list had even come out, she said yellow was her favorite color. It suited her too when you think about it, before all of this, before her life went down hill. She used to be so bubbly, so happy. I guess one stupid list could change all of that.

The only sound I had ever heard Chance utter, was because of you Zack.

I then faintly remember something. Someone shoved Zack. Someone shoved Zack into me in the halls. But who?

The day went as normal. I went into the shop and brought a candy bar. But I don't now which one, I cant remember.

I caught Zack to stop him from falling but when I asked if he was ok, he just hurried away from me, not even giving me a second glance. Did I do something to piss him off? I kept asking myself. I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong.

If I wanted to, I could expose the name of the person that walked in while I was searching my backpack for my money, because I do remember his name. But he is just one of the many jerks that I have run into over the years.

I don't know, maybe I should expose all of them. But as far as your story goes Zack , his action, his horrible action was just an aftereffect of yours. Plus, he's got a whole tape to himself.

I winced at this. What happened in this store because of Zacks stupid list?

Acctually, I don't want to know. All I know is im pissed off beyond words right now. I don't want to see Alex, not tomorrow, not ever. I don't want to see him because I have no idea what I will do to him. Most probably end his life the way his list may have caused Mickie to loose hers.

He threw open the door and looked at Chance and laughed. He then turned his attention to me.

"Hey Mickie.. I didn't see you standing there" he said to me. Did I mention I was in a perfect view of him while he walked in?

I slightly smiled at him as I fished my money out of my bag and placed it in Chance's hand. From what I had seen, Chance had completely ignored him, not even a twitch or a single look in his direction, he didn't even smile the way he does when I walk in the door.

I made my way along the street, turning the corner to make my way towards the dairy.

I find it so amazing how every turn off into a different street can change completely. I mean, the houses behind me arent fancy or anything, they were actually middle class. But they have been sitting back to back with a neighborhood that has been falling apart for years.

"Hey Chance.. Guess what" he said as he moved closer to me, I could feel his breath on my neck and it sent chills up my spine. I zipped up my back pack and looked over at Chance, he just continued to look down. I could tell he was trying his best to ignore him.

It was then I felt a cupped hand smack my ass. And then he said it "Best ass in the whole school Chance, standing right here in your store"

There are a lot of guys I could picture doing that. With the Sarcasm and the arrogance. Yet I couldn't figure out who it was. But I felt the familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. The anger.

Did it hurt me? Of course it didn't. But the real question is ; did he have the right to do it? The answer, well… I hope it is obvious.

I knocked his hand away with a backhand swipe ; which every girl should master might I add. But that's when I looked up and heard it, I heard Chance make a noise. I looked up and noticed that, even though Chance's head was down, I saw the corner or his mouth curl up, almost as if he was letting out a growl, which is exactly what the noise he made sounded like. It was then I realized that that Chance, was a ball of rage.

I hit pause as I made it to the dairy that Mickie had been talking about in her CD's. There were only two shops open. This one and the video store across the road.

I walked into the dairy and heard the bells that Mickie would have heard every time she stepped foot into this store. Instead of letting the door swing close. I hold the door and slowly push it shut, just so I can listen to the bells that Mickie heard everyday.

"Can I help you?" Straight away I know its not Chance. So why do I feel a little disappointed? I didn't come here to see Wally. He asks me again, but I cant bring myself to look at the front of the shop where the counter is. I cant bring myself to picture her standing there.

After I had finally picked up the courage to look at the counter. I walked over at the wire rack and picked out a candy bar. I slightly twitched and felt something in my chest, almost as if my heart sunk. Knowing very well that these candies were Mickie's favorite. I quickly place the candy bar back and then I looked over at the fridge that held the sodas. I grabbed a coke and then placed it on the counter.

"Is that all?" the man behind the counter asks me. I nod and then my attention turns to a name tag that is placed next to the counter.

"Does he still work here?" I ask after I have paid for my drink.

"Chance?" the man asks "Day shift.

When I leave, I hear the bell ring.

I then pushed play.

I slung my bag over my shoulders and I whispered "Excuse me" I purposely avoided his gaze when he looked at me.

I had the door in sight, I was more than ready to leave. But I felt his arm grip mine. He said my name, but when I looked into his eyes, the joking was gone.

I yanked my arm, but his grip was tight, and he wouldn't let me go.

I now know who Mickie is talking about. I have seen his wrist grabbing stunt before. It always makes me mad. Everytime I see him do that, I want to go up and grab him byt the shirt and push him up against the wall and knock him out. He treats woman with complete disrespect.

But I never do anything about it. I just walk away.

The jerk then let go and placed his hand on my shoulder "Im only playing Mickie. Just relax"

Ok, so there are two meanings for what he said. 'Im only playing Mickie' That pretty much means. I figured it out as I was walking home.

I sit on the curb and place my coke next to me. Im not in the mood for anything sweet. So why did I buy it? Maybe it was the fact that Mickie always used to come to this store and I got so caught up in every emotion I was feeling and felt that the only way I could leave that store was to buy something. As she always did.

Why did I even come here? I mean, I went to the first star and then the second and now the third. So why did I come here? I don't need to do everything Mickie says.

First his words, then his actions.

Statement number one: "Im only playing Mickie" Translation: Your ass is my play toy. You may think you have the last say in what happens to your ass, but you don't.

Statement two: "Just relax"

Translation: Come on Mickie, all I did was touch you with no indication that I wanted to touch you. If it will make you feel better, you can touch me wherever you want.

Now lets talk about what he done shall we? His actions.

Action one: Grabbing my ass.

Interpretation: Let me back up and tell you this. This guy had never grabbed my ass before, so why now? My pants weren't anything special. They weren't tight or anything like that. Maybe they were a little low. He probably got a hip shot. But he grabbed my ass, not my hips.

Im actually starting to understand now. Understand where she is coming from. Im starting to see what Mickie feels, what she means. And all that does is open a black hole in my stomach. I feel the anger once again running through my body.

Best lips, that was another category on the list.

Zack, am I trying to say that your list, your list that started off as a stupid joke, gave him permission to grab my ass? No! What im trying to say is it gave him an excuse. And excuse was all this guy needed.

It wasn't until that list came out that I even noticed Jillian Hall's lips. But after that, it was like something took over me. I kept noticing them, I guess you could say I became fascinated in them. While I was watching her give speeches during English class, I watched the way her lips moved. I wasn't even listening to the words that were coming out of her mouth. Her lips, they just intrigued me.

Action number two: He grabbed my wrist and placed his hand on my shoulder.

You know what, im not even going to interoperate that. Im just going to tell you why it pissed me off so much. I have had my butt grabbed before, of course I thought of it as no big deal. But the fact that he only grabbed my butt because of a stupid list. Then in the most condescending way, he told me to relax, then placed his hand on my shoulder almost as if he was comforting me.

Heres a tip: if you put your hand on a girl and she pushes your hand away… LEAVE… HER… ALONE. Don't touch her. Anywhere! Honestly, your touch does nothing but sicken her.

To me, even though Jillian was a beautiful girl, the rest of Jillian was nowhere as near as mesmerizing to me as her lips. Then last summer, at a friends house, we played spin the bottle. I had refused to let the game finish until the bottle had landed on Jillian. Or until the bottle landed on me. When that happened, I pressed my lips slowly against hers, and moved my lips with hers.

There are some sick and twisted people out there Zack, maybe im one of them, who knows. The point is this though, when you hold people up for ridicule, you have to take responsibility when other people act on it.

Later on that night, Jillian and I made out the back porch. All because of a list, I couldn't get over her lips. All because of a stupid list.

Wait, I think I may have been wrong at that one. You didn't hold me up for ridicule did you? After all, you did put me in the hot column. You put Kelly's name in the NOT HOT column. You held Kelly up for ridicule didn't you? And that's where the snowball speed picks up.

Kelly honey, youre next.

I then hit stop.

I open the walkman and and pull out the second CD. In my backpack I place the CD, then I replace it with the CD marked number 3.

I drop it into the walkman, and snap the lid shut. Waiting for Mickie's voice to echo through the speakers. A voice that I know I fell inlove with.

So what d'ya think? I hope you like it. I have to admit, this is close to the stories storyline, but I have so much planned for this story, so much twists maybe. So I hope you stick with me on this one.

Xoxo