Author's note: Four years right? Last time I touched this story was back in 07. So yea, a really long time. I didn't even have a strong fan base and I guess that was part of the reason I just gave up. But the other day I was rereading it and suddenly had the desire to write this again. That plus it's the only story I have with a paring between Tohru and Momiji. I really do like that parring and I can't remember if there were a lot of stories with that parring. Oh come on people, show this story a little love lol. I'm also going to be updating "Consequences and Repercussions". So I hope you enjoy both! Review if you like, regardless of how many I get, I'm finishing both stories.

Disclaimer: Fruit Baskets belongs to it's rightful owner.

The trouble with love is...

Accepting the truth, even if the truth itself is unbearable...

…Discovering what's in your heart, and being honest to yourself

Tohru's pov

Agh...my head was hurting me so badly. Slowly I opened my eyes only to see that I was in my room. The bright light coming from the window nearly blinded me. I raised my arm to shield my eyes from the light. A confused look crossed my face as I tried to think about why I was in my room. Although I couldn't remember, I knew enough that this wasn't the last place I remember being. As a matter of fact, the last thing I remember was...

"Momiji-san." I barely whispered. I reached my hand to my throat. It felt so dry.

"Tohru? Are you awake?" I heard a voice call out to me in a worried tone.

I turned my head slightly and sure enough, it was Momiji sitting on a chair by my bed. The look he was giving me was as if I just came back from the brink of death. I was even more confused and that was hurting my head even more. I opened my mouth to ask him what on earth was going on, but found that my throat was too dry for me to speak. As if reading my mind, he reached for a cup of water and handed it to me. As soon as the water hit my lips, it was as if it were my first time ever tasting something so refreshing. Finishing the cup of water in record time, I handed the cup back to him as I took in a deep breath. A deep blush crossed my cheeks.

"I'm sorry about that, I didn't realize I was so thirsty. Gosh, it felt like I hadn't drank anything for days!" I laughed softly to myself. I stopped short when I noticed that he wasn't laughing. Just then, I sensed that something was wrong.

"W..what's wrong?" I asked with a hint of worry in my voice.

I saw as he looked down and awhile passed before he looked back up at me. The look he gave me made me all the more worry. I was about to say something more when he finally spoke up.

"You're right, you haven't drank for days...because for almost 2 weeks..." I could see that he was trying his best to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

"Mo-" I was cut off as he continued, finally gaining his composure. "You were very sick. I'm not sure how much you remember, but you were out in the rain for who knows how long. I was on my way to the house when I saw you. When I noticed that you were barely breathing, I knew I had to get you to the house fast. It was all so quick, I didn't think twice about it. But that's when I also realized that I no longer had the curse. I was able to lift you and carry you home. We watched out for you modesty as we changed you out of those wet cloths. When Hitori came and checked on you, he said you had a very high fever...then he said...about your heart..." His voice trailed off as he looked away.

"M...my heart?" I asked as I subconsciously placed a hand over my heart and gave him a confused and some what frighten look.

"While you were unconscious, he performed more test on you." He looked at me with both sadden eyes and a hint of anger. I understood the sadness but not quite the anger. "He discovered that...you have a weaken heart. It was probably a condition you were born with. But with stress it could get worst. Almost 2 weeks ago...that incident with Kyou was the breaking point. Together with the fever...you almost didn't make it." Even just saying those words out loud seemed too much for him and he started to cry.

I've never seen him this sad before. I wanted to reach out to comfort him...but I felt too weak to move. I couldn't even sit up. A lot of emotions were rushing through me. I was still stuck on the fact that he mentioned that he no longer had the curse. My mind couldn't get over that fact and I was beginning to wonder if the same was true for the others...especially...

"Kyou-kun." I whispered his name softly as my lips trembled. I looked over at Momiji and saw that he was wiping away his tears.

"Momiji-san...where is Kyou-kun?" I asked him just above a whisper.

He looked up at me and gasped slightly. Perhaps he wasn't expecting that question. He looked down for a moment and just for a split second I saw a dark look cover his face. Without looking back at me he replied in a low voice. "You shouldn't concern yourself with him. It was his fault that you nearly died!"

My eyes widen in shock. I've never seen this side of him before. He had suddenly gotten so angry...over the mere mention of Kyou's name none the less. I always thought that the two of them got along, was I mistaken?

A firm look crossed my face with a tone to match. "Do not tell me it's none of my concern. It is my concern! If you know something, tell me. Do not hide anything from me!"

I was once again surprised by my tone and I guess I like wise surprised him. His mouth hung open and closed, thus leaving him speechless for a moment. He lowered his head in shame as a pout crossed his lips. A concerned look crossed mine. Was I too harsh with my words?

"Tohru," He began softly as he looked up at me. His whole attitude seemed to change. It was almost as if he was at a complete lost for words. A solemn look crossed his face and I almost dread the next words that would come out of his mouth.

He took in a deep breath and looked away for a moment before looking back at me. He shook his head as he spoke. "I know that both you and Kyou were close but at the same time, I don't think any of us truly understood him..."

My eyebrows frowned together. Slowly I tried to sit up and manged to rest my back against the head board. I had to sit up for this. For some reason...I just knew...

"You know that as the cat, that eventually Akito will lock him up right?" He asked as he gave me a serious look.

I looked at him blankly for a moment but then slowly nodded my head in agreement. He then continued. "...He didn't want to commit to a relationship he knew he was going to lose...even I saw how distraught he was over the situation." Once again that dark look crossed his face leaving me startled. I needed to ask because no matter how much I tried to reason, I just couldn't understand why he was so upset.

"Why? Why are you so upset with him Momiji-san? I..I've never seen you like this before...I'm worried and even a bit scared." I truthfully expressed as I gave him a concern look, reaching out my head to touch his. But the reaction I got from him startled me even more. He brush my hand aside as he stood up and stepped away from me. My eyes widen, not too sure what to make of the situation. As if to answer my unspoken questions, he once again continued.

"You don't get it at all do you?" He nearly shouted. "The two of you love each other so damn much but you can't be together cause he's the damn cat! And even if you reason that it shouldn't be in the way of your love, then you're wrong cause it is! He's so damn stubborn! Even when I tried to reason with him to stay, he refused! He kept going on and on about how he couldn't stay and how he wanted you to be happy and he wanted me to protect you, but how can I? How can I protect the person I love when they're in love with someone else?" He slammed his fist against the wall almost punching a hole thought it.

I jumped, startled by this sudden sound. I could feel tears stinging the corner of my eye as my lips quivered. I only understood half of what he was saying and I still couldn't understand. Over and over I wrecked my brain trying to put the pieces together. Suddenly I heard foot steps rushing to my room and the next thing I knew Yuki nearly flew through the door with a worried look across his face. As he scanned the situation, it only took him a second to figure out what was going on. Before he could ask any questions, Momiji-san ran out of the room with both Yuki and I looking at where he once stood.

"Honda-san, are you ok?" He asked calmly as he walked towards me, sitting at the edge of my bed.

For a moment I had a perplexed look on my face. I looked at him speechless for a moment. I knew if I asked him that he'd be honest. "Yuki-kun...what on earth is going on here? Momiji-san...he...I've never seen him like this before. He's getting to be as hot headed as Kyou-kun. Why the sudden change?" I shook my head not understanding. "And talking about Kyou-kun, the mere mention of his name sets him off. He told me a little bit of what happened...but I still don't get it." I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

He sighed deeply as he shook his head. He then gave me a serious look. "Honda-san...I was only able to pick up pieces of what he was just talking about. And based on what he had told me before..." He shook his head and looked down. "He's very confused, scared, worried and upset. That day when he came here, he had something very important to tell you. But then things got complicated with you and Kyou and to top the fact that Kyou himself wasn't completely honest with you."

A frown crossed his face as he looked back up at me. "All that he said to you...even if you can't remember it...it's best that you don't...but he didn't mean any of it. He knew something bad had happen to you and I guess it tore at him. He reasoned that it was best for him to leave. So that's what he did. However, Momiji...it was too much for him to handle cause Kyou basicly left him with the burden of telling you how he felt and why he left. All the while though...what Momiji really wanted to say but couldn't...the truth is that Momiji is in love with you."

The room was silent for awhile as I tried to process all that was said. Slowly, I began to understand. And when I did, tears flowed freely down my cheeks. I guess Yuki-kun noticed, cause he tried to comfort me but I just shook my head. I shook my head as my shoulders shook and a sob escaped my lips. All this time, I was so focused on Kyou-kun, that I just never knew about Momiji-san's true feelings. Then to top it off, Kyou-kun was gone and just as I thought, he did lie to me. To protect me? The truth was, that it was Kyou-kun who didn't understand. I knew well enough about where he stood with the family in regards to being the cat. I've seen it all over the past couple of years. I stood by his side through it all, even suffering at times. I would have done all I could to be with him...I wouldn't have given up. But it's like he gave up on me before we had the chance to fight back. Momiji-san thought...who knows how long he's been suffering all because I was just to blind to see. I honestly didn't know what to think or how to feel.

For the rest of the morning I requested to be left alone. I needed that time to myself to think. Also I couldn't bare to face Momiji-san after all that had happen. Truth be told I wasn't sure if I could ever face him the same. It was sad, I felt like he was one of my best friends, but how could we go back to that? After I found out how he really felt, I couldn't just ignore it. That would be too cruel as if I weren't cruel enough already. I hated the fact that I was responsible for hurting someone close to me. I knew in my heart that I just couldn't halfheartedly accept his feelings when I was still in love with Kyou-kun.

A frown came across my face. Who was I kidding? Why would I still go after someone who just gave up on me? Who lost trust in me? To top it off, he left without even saying goodbye. What am I suppose to do? Wait by the door day and night until he returns? What if he never does return? After all that has happened and knowing that pretty soon he'll be locked up...maybe...just maybe...he'll be gone forever.

A knock came to my door but I didn't reply. Slowly it opened and when I saw who it was, my heart nearly sank. I looked down at the sheets in front of my, not saying a word. Not cause I didn't want to...but because I didn't know what to say.

He walked into the room silently and took his seat on the chair by my bed. He too was silent as he looked at the ground.

"I was a jerk." He said in a low voice as he continued to look down. I looked over at him with a confused look but didn't say anything.

"I only thought about myself. I wasn't thinking about your feelings." He looked up at me as he continued. "You've gone through so much. Silently, all this time I've been watching. I've seen how you treated all of us with the secret we have. We worked so hard not to let anyone in the outside know. We feared that they'd look at us like we were freaks. And when there was an accidental transformation, we had to suffer from the stairs and whispers and then the mind wiping. All of us wore a mask, walking on egg shells. It was miserable."

Suddenly, for the first time in awhile I saw a genuine smile cross his face. I could feel my heart leap at seeing it. "However, when we first met, after knowing that you knew about us and you still continued to live here, I couldn't help but to fall for you. Over time, that 'friendship' love turned into real love. I love you so much. I'm in love with you. Because of you, I can be myself. I don't have to walk on egg shells. I don't have to worry or fear. Your like a breath of fresh air."

I could feel my lips start to quiver and I guess he noticed it because the next thing I knew, he got up, sat beside me, placing a hand on my cheek. I looked at him with widen eyes and both of us just looked into each others eyes...as if searching for something, anything. It was almost like I was looking at him for the first time. All along as silly as it sounded, I could see the younger Momiji-san from 2 years ago. Right now though, he was much more mature looking. He almost didn't look like himself. I could feel my breath catching in my throat at noticing just how handsome he had gotten over the years.

The urge to cry quickly faded away. It was like I was lost in a trance just looking into his eyes like that. We didn't move, say a word, nothing. It was almost like time in itself had stopped. I suddenly felt so beside myself. I felt uncomfortable and very unsure of the situation. Slowly I reached up my hand and placed it over his. A surprised looked crossed his face briefly as I pulled his hand away and held it gently in my hands. I studied his hands for a moment then slowly looked back up at him. Could my heart really be this fickle? What on earth was this feeling?

"Mo..Momiji-san..." I whispered softly as I gave him an unsure look.

"Yes?" He whispered back as he gently squeezed my hand.

I bit my lower lip at that. I just couldn't get it at all. I knew nothing about love, I knew nothing about losing love, I knew nothing about falling in love again. I was at a complete lost and I felt like screaming to the heavens for some sort of clear direction. Because if it was left or right or straight ahead, I honestly had no idea where to go.

"I don't know where I should go." I echoed my thoughts thus earning me a confused look by him. "You're so special to me. I've always valued our friendship. But I guess I was too selfish, too blind to see how you truly felt. My heart..." I reached up with my free hand and placed a hand over my heart. Looking down for a moment, I looked back up at him. "I don't understand love, falling in love, falling out of love, losing a love or one-sided loves. I only understand the love shared between a parent and child and that of friends. Beyond that I'm so lost that it's scary. Am I wrong in developing feelings for you after Kyou-kun left? I don't know if he'd ever come back...so I don't know if I should wait or move on. And if I do move on, it feels as if I'd be betraying Kyou-kun, especially knowing that he loves me too."

I shook my head as I sighed deeply. He needed to know how I felt. He needed to understand even if...even if it did hurt him. "I can't give my heart to you when I'm still confused about where it actually belongs. I could never do that to you...you're too special for me to be so indecisive. Also I won't ask for you to wait for me until I've come to a conclusion. I don't know if I'll ever change my mind and if I do, I don't know how long it would take." I took in a deep breath as I once again felt tears rolling down my cheeks. "What I do know is that I don't want to lose what I've always had with you. I know it will never be the same, but if I could be selfish for one thing and one thing only...I don't want my friendship with you to end." By the last sentence, I was crying uncontrollably.

"Tohru..." He whispered softly. Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. I like wise wrapped my arms around him and rested my head against his chest. We were silent for a moment as I continued to cry in his arms. How much heartache could a person really take? I've wondered and I've thought about that very question many times. Each time, I couldn't come up with an answer because perhaps there really wasn't one. Maybe each of us are stronger then the next or maybe we think we're strong when we're actually weak.

After a moment, he placed his hands on my shoulder and gently pushed me back so that we were face to face. As I continued to cry, he reached out his hand and placed it under my chin, slowly raising my head. He didn't say a word, but I could see a strength in his eyes that I've never seen before. Mixed in it was a look of love and the need as well as desire to protect something so important. That look alone quieted down my tears. Before I knew it, slowly his face drew closer to mine. I knew what was going to happen and I had plenty of time to stop it. His face was only centimeters from mine when he tilted his head slightly and slowly closed is eyes. When his lips finally touched mine, I closed my eyes. We were like that for only a second before I felt his tongue trace my lips softly. Was it an automatic reaction? Somewhere deep inside did I secretly desire this? I could have pushed him away. Part of me didn't want to be like this and at the same time, what really surprised me, was that part of me wanted this so much. My mouth opened slowly and he took full control of the moment. I felt his heart pouring out all in that one kiss. I felt the sadness, the joy, the fear and many other emotions. A single tear fell down my cheeks as I wrapped my arms around him and he held me tightly in his arms.

I had heard him say it before and I noticed it before. But now that were were like this in this moment, to feel his arms around me, for him not to transform but to remain the same? It was unlike anything I've ever felt before. I felt so warm. I felt so protected. I thought about Kyou-kun and for the first time I couldn't remember his touch. I couldn't remember how it felt to be in his arms because I was never in his arms. Not like this. I never felt anything missing when I was with him, I felt complete. So now, why was I suddenly feeling mixed emotions? I was still unsure. That was a fact. Yet something inside me couldn't resist. Why?