That's all I can think of, at any rate. I'm running out of good memories, here.

I must not be explaining myself very well. She's... rejoined the Sith, or, the dark side. Right now she's probably duelling with Malak himself. It's a scene I've replayed a hundred times... in my head.

I just... I don't know, I have to say this out loud. I'm not stupid, I know I probably won't have another chance. There's another side to her. She's not wholly Revan. There's a woman in there.

.

Easy, pilot. Stay your course. Almost there. You'll be back in the battle in no time.

.

I think about Taris, and when she got up off that bed. The look on her face. And I pretty much had her figured, right there. She woke up with her brow furrowed and her teeth bared at the walls of that grey apartment. She was scared to death. She didn't know where she was, how she got there, what happened in the space battle. Then she... she looked at me, and she calmed down. Must have recognised me from the escape pod.

Once she was done interrogating me, she felt a little better. She had the lay of the land, then, she knew Taris. Knew how to beat it, maybe. Then we took a look around the upper city, and she talked to me again. And she felt better. And we flirted, too. She... reunited me with my son. Saved him. I can't believe I haven't mentioned that until now.

I just wish I could explain this to him.

Try to understand where I'm coming from, here. I left her on that planet today because she and Bastila were ready to cut me down. Mission and Zaalbar are probably dead, just like Jolee. I'm not trying to make it okay, or...

I'm trying to remember her.

She was... smart. She was determined and pig-headed and arrogant, and she knew when she was right.

I'm, ah, really not good at letting go of people. I think that's what this is.

She's gone. And it already feels like years since I saw her, and maybe she's not coming back. Maybe the Sith are coming soon, maybe the Old Republic is on its way in a few years, but not her. She's gone, into the unknown.

But not entirely. Not yet. I can't mourn her yet. She's in that Star Forge with a furrowed brow and bared teeth, fighting anything they put in front of her. Bastila too.

I don't know how many people can honestly say they fell in love with a dark Jedi, but I know this one. And that's what it is with Revan: she's scared. She's in... way over her head, and she hasn't left herself a way out. Because she wants to play the hero. Take it all in hand. Save the galaxy. Again.

After the Leviathan, after Dantooine was levelled, after she'd been tortured and lied to and, worst of all, trapped... and after Malak told her about her true identity, she was silent. Alone. And she didn't say much of anything. After that, after that she started killing people. And eventually, I came to talk to her.

I was there. In that cockpit. To talk to her.

And I'm going to be there when she's done with Malak. And I swear, she's going to calm down when she sees my face. I'll save her, if there's any way. And if we have to...

.

That's the Ebon Hawk! Drop me off there, and get out of here fast. Get back to your group and make your formation!

We'll face what comes after together.

.

.

And she left the Ebon Hawk and all its machines behind, for she knew she would not need them. And, like you, she knew she must leave all loves behind as well, no matter how deeply one cares for them.

It would have helped had she made him understand, but a hero of the Republic, no matter how brave, cannot understand war as Revan did.

.

The difference between a fall and a sacrifice is sometimes difficult, but I feel that Revan understood that difference, more than anyone knew.