Hawkeye raised her arms about her head and yawned, luckily there was no one around to see. She didn't want her professional reputation to be stained. She had been up half the night writing those leaflets and taken a great deal into consideration like who would read it and more specifically; what the colonel's reaction would be. If she was perfectly honest, the colonel had practically written it himself, although admittedly, Hawkeye had changed 'men' to 'women' throughout its entirety.

But this was not the only thing that was making Hawkeye tired. She had spent the time last night she had not used writing the leaflet on making a miniskirt. Her sewing skills left much to be desired but as she didn't have a short enough skirt to carry out her own plan, she'd decided to take up a skirt she already owned.

Hawkeye looked around the room. It was most unusual for the colonel not to be in his office at this time of day, perhaps he had taken it upon himself to wander about. Sightseeing, so to speak. The lieutenant flicked through the piles of papers on the colonels desk, working out which ones she could fill in for him and which needed his signature. She separated them out and began to work at a steady pace.

*

"You there!"

"YES COLONEL!"

"Have you seen second lieutenant Hawkeye anywhere?!" Mustang questioned half the men in the mess hall before he got a decent answer that wasn't a gurgle from a sergeant paying more attention to his female co-workers slender legs.

"Yes sir! I saw her leave here about an hour ago, sir!"

"Damn!" He cursed under his breath. "We must've missed her as we came down. Darn it, Havoc!" Havoc was suddenly brought back to the here and now at his superior's voice and dragged his eyes reluctantly from a table of giggling female duty officers. "We should have been quicker getting down here and now we've missed her! She's the only one who can sort this out."

"To be honest, sir, it was you who took so long checking every single room on our way here and I thought you didn't want to sort this out."

"Are you questioning my authority, Havoc?!"

"No sir."

"Good!" Mustang barked. "Do you know what's wrong with this situation, Havoc?!"

"No sir?"

"The problem is this; this army has a ratio of ten men to every two women. If these women are the only ones doing the work then our paperwork outturn becomes eighty percent less effective than usual! If the men can't concentrate, they get no work done! This is completely unacceptable! Either the men need to close their eyes to the women around them or the women need to be controlled! WE MUST FIND SECOND LIEUTENNANT HAWKEYE! She is our last hope! Onwards men!" The colonel turned on his heel and marched smartly from the mess hall.

*

Hawkeye could hear footsteps coming down the hall. It was now or never. She wandered round to the front of Mustang's desk and leant over it to survey the remaining paperwork. The door to the office swung open revealing the colonel and Havoc, stood tentatively in the doorway.

"Colonel!" Hawkeye turned and sprang to attention. The colonel flushed crimson as he took in her attire.

"Lieutenant! Please try to explain the appalling behaviour from so many officers today!" Mustang commanded. Hawkeye found it hard to suppress a grin.

"Yes sir. It appears that many male officers are not doing their duties today because of an unexplored infatuation with the women's displayed legs, sir!" Mustang looked taken aback.

"Not the men, Hawkeye! The women! Why are they all wearing...wearing non-regulation uniform!"

"I think you'll find that it is regulation, sir." Hawkeye replied quickly. "Section eight, paragraph eighty two of the officer's guide states that any female army member is permitted to wear a skirt when in a position unrelated to combat, sir."

"Hmm." So Hawkeye was playing along too, huh? He'd get to the bottom of this. He'd discover why all the women were so confident all of a sudden or his name wasn't Roy Mustang!