Ah! Sorry! In chapter 5 I said that Maria Ross was a Sergeant...oops. Sorry about that! She's actually a lieutenant...ah well. Please forgive my clumsiness! Please enjoy the chapter!

A free lunch can get anyone to agree to anything! Mustang thought happily as he offered cheerily to pay for Edward's food, Ed eyed him suspiciously but shrugged the weirdness off. He might as well make the most of this, normally, Mustang was a tightwad.

Young guys live for their stomachs! Roy thought to himself. Food means everything to teenage boys! This will surely get him to join the male officers' side in this battle of the sexes...

"Get bent, Colonel! I'm not poking around trying to find out why the women are rebelling! Control your own damn workforce!" Edward snapped bluntly.

"No one said anything about poking around!" Mustang growled back, "Fullmetal, you're the only one who can get away with this, the women have nothing against you. You're the 'cute little boy-genius alchemist' from the country who everyone finds charming,"

"Say what? Did he just say 'little'?" Ed turned asked Al suspiciously. "Tell me you didn't just say 'little'!" he roared at the colonel. Roy's temple began to twitch in frustration.

"Edward! We need your co-operation on this, or we'll never get any work done!" he said in exasperation.

"I can't cooperate unless you tell me exactly how they're rebelling, can I?" Ed grumbled, taking a massive bite out of a chicken drumstick. Mustang's eyes widened. Had he really not noticed? It had been obvious to him from almost the second he stepped out of his apartment building that something odd, yet beautiful, frustrating, yet magical was happening in the world today! He moved his gaze from the oblivious Elric to the younger one who was sat awkwardly at his side.

"What about you Alphonse? Are you sure you haven't noticed?" Mustang asked with a furrowed brow.

"Ah, well..." it may have been the colonel's imagination, but Al's helmet seemed to tinge pink momentarily, "...their uniform is, err, different," he replied, embarrassment evident in his tone. Havoc, who had been sitting beside the colonel reached over and tapped Al on the shoulder comfortingly.

"Oh, Al. You've grown up faster than your brother," he smiled wistfully while Mustang smirked knowingly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ed asked impatiently.

"Look at the female officers, brother. Can't you see any difference in their uniform?" Al mumbled.

"The skirts look a little shorter than usual," Ed shrugged, "So what?"

"So what?" Mustang and Havoc yelled simultaneously. "How can you say that?" Mustang continued, "Miniskirts are the foundation of my idealistic world! They form the bedrock of every sane man's romantic fantasy and are of parallel importance if I'm ever going to get my miniskirt harem!" he bellowed this so loudly that the other officers seated at the tables around them started to stare. He coughed to clear his throat, smiled innocently and carried on; in a whisper only those at his table could hear. "The point is, young Elric, that miniskirts are very important!"

"Why do you want to get rid of them, then?" Ed asked incredulously.

"They're distracting all the men! Our workload is piling up and the women are the only ones getting anything done! We need your help to find out what this vendetta is for! Help us young Fullmetal! You're our only hope!"

"Geez, all this fuss over some freaking skirts. Winry wears one all the time and you don't see me getting distracted over it," Havoc's and Mustang's eyebrows shot up, Al chuckled and Edward flushed crimson. "What I mean is!" he choked, "They're still the same people no matter what they wear! Get over yourselves and tell the men to get on with their work instead of lounging about like couch-potatoes. The women are doing their share so shut up and do the same. If you can't get over this by yourself, you're just weak," Edward finished passionately. "Come on, Al. Let's get on with that research," Ed drew himself away from the table, dragging Al along with him, determined not to get involved with the colonel's stupid life when mutterings reached his ears.

"Did you hear about that new bio-alchemy Havoc? The one that can change your appearance?" Mustang said casually.

"Which one would that be, sir?"

"Well, they say it can make you more handsome, more robust...even taller..." Roy put extra emphasis on the last word and waited for a response. Edward had stopped in his tracks, his mind whirring at a thousand miles a minute.

He's messing with me, Ed thought. There's no way that such a bio-alchemy could possibly exist. No freaking way...right?

"Brother, did you hear that?" Al whispered excitedly.

"I heard," Ed replied thoughtfully. "He's just taking the crap, Al. Let's go..." he began to stalk away again when he heard something else...

"It's a shame only state alchemists are allowed to go to the researcher for a free trial," Havoc sighed, perhaps a little too obviously.

"Yes, and they need my recommendation. After all, Doctor Simmons is a close friend of the family," Mustang's voice was raised slightly higher. Ed must be hearing all this, surely?

With a blur of red and black, the angsty kid came rushing back and pounded his fist on the table.

"I swear right now, Colonel! If you're Bull-crapping me, I'm gonna transmute your flame-assisting-rubbish-alchemy-concocting gloves into the noose you're gonna hang from," Ed snarled.

"Do we have a deal after all, Fullmetal?" the colonel asked, smirking. He'd won and Edward knew it.

"Deal," Ed slammed his fist on the table once more for good measure and stormed off, wondering where to start, Al was clanking along behind him somewhat amused. He couldn't believe his brother was so easily swayed...

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