Good afternoon everyone, I hope you are all having a fantastic start to the weekend. Sorry for taking so long to get this to you. Thank you, My-Bella, for always being an awesome friend and PIC! Hope4more, be glad you were on vacation because I think My-Bella's red pen is in desperate need of a ink refill after this chapter.
Disclaimer:
All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters, plot, names, nicknames are all the property of the author. Unauthorized use of such material is plagiarism. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. And Of course just in case that doesn't cover it, Stephenie Meyer owns anything and everything relating to Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.
Now lets see what happens when Bella goes back to Forks and faces Mike for the first time since she ran off on him at the church.
~*Bella*~
February 18, 2011
I woke to the sensation of warm moist lips trailing down my back. I couldn't help the wide smile that spread across my face from knowing I would get to wake up like this every morning for the rest of my life.
"Good morning," I rasped as I rolled back against Edward.
"What, I've been demoted already?" he asked. I could hear the humor in his voice and feel the smile on his lips as he placed another kiss on my bare skin.
"What do you mean demoted?" I asked and rubbed back against him some more pressing my bare rear against his morning wood, hoping to make love one more time before we headed back to Forks this morning and faced my ex-fiancée and his parents.
"Well yesterday morning you called me your sexy, stunning husband and today all I get is a good morning. I'm crushed. We haven't even been married a full week yet," he teased.
I rolled over to face him and leaned up to kiss the fake pout he had displayed on his face while at the same time I ran my hand down his chest stopping just shy of where I was sure he wanted my hand to be. Who was I kidding, I wanted it there too.
"Oh, baby, do you need your ego stroked? Did our marathon love making session last night not show you just how sexy and stunning I think you are?"
"Mm, you can stroke my ego amongst other things, Love," he murmured as he nipped at my ear. He grasped my waist and flipped me over on my back and kissed me hard. That was all it took for us to be lost in the bliss of each other again.
~*MFV*~
A couple of hours later as we rushed around our hotel suite to make sure we had everything, I thought back on the talk Edward and I had, had the morning after our impromptu wedding here in Vegas. Edward had been worried about the position he had put me in by asking me to run off and marry him without going back to the church, or at least to our parents, and explaining everything first.
I assured him that he hadn't forced me or even talked me in to doing anything I didn't want to. By the end of our conversation there was no doubt in either of our minds that we had done what we needed to and what was right for us. We were both one hundred percent certain that if we had to do it all over again that we'd make the same choice without hesitating at all.
"You're gonna chew a hole through your lip if you keep that up and since I really enjoy kissing these perfect lips of yours," Edward paused mid-sentence as he walked over to me and wrapped his left arm tightly around my waist. Edward then reached up with his right hand and gently pulled my bottom lip from where it was gripped tightly between my teeth. He leaned down lightly brushing his lips against mine a few times before continuing. "I think you should stop before it's too late." I had been so lost in my thoughts I hadn't even realized that I'd been chewing on it. "What's got you gnawing away on your lip, Baby?"
"Just thinking," I said looking up into his grass green eyes and seeing the concern hovering in them. "Nervous for what's waiting for us in Forks."
Smoothing back the hair that had fallen out of my ponytail Edward told me, "I'm not gonna tell you it's going to be easy, Love. But I'm also not going to apologize for being glad Alice found that card and gave it to you or for the fact that you are now my wife and not someone else's. But what I can promise you is that no matter what happens this afternoon, we will get through it together. We are together and nothing or no one is going to change that. Nothing anyone says today is going to change the fact that we are married and are going to spend the rest of our lives together. You know that right?"
"I do."
A beaming smile spread across his face as I spoke the words that had bound us to each other just a few days ago. "There are only three other words I enjoy hearing you say more than those two."
"I love you," I replied with a smile of my own, knowing exactly what those three words were that he wanted to hear.
"And there they are," he said as his smile became impossibly wider. "I love you too, Bella Cullen."
We stood there in each other's arms, kissing and relishing in the last few minutes we had of our short but wonderful honeymoon.
~*MFV*~
Later that afternoon, after sleeping through most of the four hour flight, we drove down the winding road of U.S. 101 on our way to Edward's parents' house so that I could, as Alice had teased, "face the music". I watched the never-ending line of trees go by as I thought about how I was extremely disappointed for my and Edward's time in Las Vegas to come to an end. I was grateful we had gotten more time there than we had thought we would, but it had been such a blissful time for us I didn't want it to come to an end.
Instead of flying back to Forks the next morning like we had originally planned when we'd flown in to Las Vegas to ensure we were married on Valentine's Day, Edward and I spent three days there as a gift from his parents. They had called us early the following morning and while they hadn't been thrilled with how we'd handled things or the fact that they had not been able to witness us getting married, they had been happy we were together. They had understood the magnitude of the love we felt for each other and how important it had been to us that we get married on Valentine's Day.
Edward and I had thoroughly enjoyed the little slice of heaven his parents had allowed us to have, even though we'd only ventured out of our suite at the Bellagio a few times to lounge by the pool and then the one time we had gone out to dinner and a show. We knew there were many sights to see in Vegas but we'd had a hard time keeping our hands off of each other, so spending the time making love on just about every surface of the suite we could had been fine with us. After all isn't that what newlyweds did? Not to mention the fact we had both felt like we had four years of lost time to make up for. However, before we knew it, our time was up.
When Carlisle and Esme had called us a couple of days ago, we'd also found out that there was an ulterior motive for them allowing us the gift of remaining in Vegas for a few days. They had wanted there to be a few days time for Mike and his family to cool down before Edward and I had to face them. Carlisle had told Edward that Mike and his parents had been beside themselves upset over my running off and he and Esme had thought it best to give them a bit of a breather first. Realistically it was me that everyone had a reason to be angry with. Edward had done nothing but profess his undying love for me and ask me to spend the rest of my life with him. Certainly the timing hadn't been ideal, but had I continued to deny my feelings for Edward and subsequently my lack of them for Mike, the fallout of a failed marriage would have been so much worse than a canceled one. In the long run, bad timing or not, I was sure that things happening the way they had saved us all from suffering even more turmoil later on down the road.
As hurt as everyone might be, Edward and I both saw Alice finding that card and giving it to me as fate intervening and making things turn out the way they were meant to be, so I refused to be sorry for the choice I'd made. Being with Edward was where I was meant to be and the moment I had seen him at the meadow, I'd realized what had been missing from my life the past four years and I knew he felt the same way. I was extremely sorry for having hurt Mike and his parents, but I wouldn't be sorry for following my heart and marrying Edward.
However knowing I'd made the right choice for me and my future didn't help quell the rising amount of nerves that were brewing inside of me. The closer we got to Edward's parents' house, the faster my heart beat in my chest and the harder I unknowingly squeezed Edward's hand. Alice had called Edward this morning to confirm what time our flight would be landing in Seattle and to inform us that everyone would meet at her and Edward's parents' house instead of mine since there was more room at their home for everyone.
The never-ending sea of green trees continued to go by and my thoughts turned towards my future. I wanted more than anything to move past today and get to Boston and begin my new life with Edward. He was supposed to begin work at his new job next week, but after talking with his boss he was able to delay starting for an additional week. This way we would have plenty of time to get my stuff packed and shipped to his apartment and still allow for us to spend a little bit of time here with our parents without having to be rushed to get our stuff merged together in his apartment. Our apartment. I loved thinking about living with him and how wonderful being his wife was going to be. The extra time would also allow time for me to go see my boss and talk to her about me working from home and mailing the manuscripts I'd be editing for her back and forth between the two of us.
With the thought of moving to New England with Edward came the thought of how grateful I was that I had been reluctant to move in with Mike before the wedding. It was already going to be difficult enough to face him today, but if I had to go to his apartment and pack up my things to go off and live with another man…well… that would be so much worse than what I had to do now. Despite the fact that Mike had asked me on several occasions to move in with him, I had held back for some unknown reason. At the time I hadn't been able to figure out what it was, I'd thought I was just hanging on to the last bit of independence I was going to have before I married Mike, but now I knew what I was really holding back from was so much more. I knew now that my heart had been telling me all along that I shouldn't marry him.
"Hey, you okay?" Edward asked as he wiggled his fingers, pulling me from my thoughts and drawing my attention to how hard I was squeezing his hand.
"I'm sorry," I told him as I glanced down to where our hands were clasped together on the center counsel of the rental car. I was unable to let go of it completely though; his touch was the one thing that was soothing me and keeping me from completely freaking out.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he told me as he slowed down and pulled the car over to the side of the road.
Glancing up ahead of us, I noticed that we were only about twenty yards from the nearly hidden driveway to his parents' house. It was actually quite easy to miss if you didn't know it was there. Once the car was stopped Edward released my hand and shifted the car into park before turning to face me.
"Look, I know this isn't going to be easy for either of us, but especially not for you. Just remember what we've talked about. No matter how hard it is, we are in this together. After we get past this little bump in the road today, we can spend a couple of days with our parents, get your stuff ready to ship and then head to Boston to begin our new life together. Just you and me, Mrs. Cullen."
"Together," I said to him, feeling the reassurance of his words comfort me and help ease my nerves a bit. Not to mention the fact I loved being called Mrs. Cullen.
"Yes," he returned with a slight smile that caused just the edges of his lips to turn up.
I smiled back at him when I saw his love for me shining in the bright green of his eyes—they sparkled like the brightest star in the night sky. It was all encompassing and filled my heart to the point of feeling like it might explode. I thought about how lucky we were to have been given this second chance. It just didn't happen to anyone. I didn't have any doubts before, but again his words and his love completely reaffirmed for me that I had made the right choice. We belonged together and no amount of grief that could ever be thrown at us once we walked through the front door of his parents' house could make me believe anything different. I felt it throughout every fiber of my being and I knew he did too. It was simple—we completed each other.
Edward's smile grew as he leaned over and kissed me. His lips were warm and moist as they melded together with mine. Right as we were about to deepen the kiss, we were startled by the blare of a car horn. Searching out the window for the car the offensive sound came from, we caught a flash of bright yellow go by before it slowed and turned into his parents' driveway. My head fell forward on to Edward's shoulder as I giggled, knowing that it was Alice and Jasper that had just gone past us.
Edward pressed a kiss to the side of my head and asked, "You ready to get this over with?"
I nodded and sat up. "The sooner the better."
After checking for oncoming traffic, Edward pulled the car back out onto the road and drove the short distance to the driveway. It was long and closed in on both sides by trees, similar to a tunnel. The tree canopy was not as thick as it was in the summer when the branches were filled with leaves, but it was still so thick it took a few minutes before the house came into view. Once we saw the house we also saw that Alice and Jasper were waiting for us next to her Porsche.
Edward got out first and walked around to my side of the car and opened my door. He reached in, taking my hand and tugging me gently to help me out of the car. Then trapping me between it and him after shutting the door, Edward held me for a few moments, encasing me in the security of his arms. Upon hearing his sister and brother-in-law approach us, he cupped my face and gave me a tender kiss that conveyed his love for me.
"Ready?" he whispered.
"Ready," I murmured back to him. Edward backed away and slipped his hand down my arm until it was linked with mine and we turned together until to face his sister and her husband Jasper.
"Hey guys," Alice said trying hard to sound chipper. I knew she was happy for us, but she also knew we were about to step in the lion's den, and for the moment that was overshadowing the joy of Edward and I being married and me officially being her sister. She hugged us both as best she could since we refused to let each other's hand go and whispered in my ear, "It'll be ok."
I nodded at her knowing that it would be, because no matter what happened here today, even if Mike and his family walked away from here hating me, it wouldn't change my feelings about being married to Edward or how much I loved him.
We slowly made our way to the house and I felt the sudden urge to flee. I got a crazy notion to write Mike some sort of Dear John letter and run off to Boston with Edward and not face anything even if it was the cowardly thing to do. However, as the rational and irrational parts of my brain warred with each other, the front door swung open and a smiling Esme was standing there to greet us. Too late to run now.
I felt very torn as we climbed up the porch stairs to her. She was smiling but I could also see a hint of concern on her face. It was not how I was used to seeing her. Esme Cullen had always been like a second mother to me and I was used to very warm, happy embraces from her when I saw her. It wasn't that I thought she or Carlisle were upset that I had married their son. I just knew we had put them in a very precarious position by having to invite the Newtons into their home today to deal with a canceled wedding and hurt feelings instead of celebrating my marriage to their son.
Esme quickly hugged Alice and Jasper and then moved on to Edward. He bent down and hugged his mother tightly. I heard him tell her he loved her and she told him the same and something else that I couldn't quite make out, but it sounded like something along the lines of, "took ya long enough". He nodded his head in agreement and squeezed my hand he was still holding as if it was some sort of a silent message saying, "see I told you it would be ok".
I bit my lip nervously as Esme moved over to me. Very much aware of my habit and what caused me to do it, Esme embraced me tightly and whispered in my ear, "Don't you worry, Sweetheart." She took a step back and cupped my face gently. Her face was so full of love now and it warmed my heart as I felt it radiating off her. "I always knew you and Edward belonged together and we are here for you today. Carlisle and I, as well as your parents will be here to support you and Edward today."
"I love you," I told her as we hugged again.
"I love you too, Sweetheart. I know you are worrying, I can see it in your eyes. But this is just a minor annoyance that will be nothing but a distant memory soon."
"I know and I'm ok," I said causing Edward to jerk on my arm slightly and let out a half-snort effectively calling me out on the fact that I was a nervous wreck.
"Isabella, you are forgetting that I have known you since you were eight years old. You have been running up and down the stairs of this house almost as long as Edward and Alice have. I know you as well as I do my own children, which you were always included in, it's just official now. But what I'm getting at is you don't have to hide it, Honey, it's ok to be nervous. Just remember we'll all get through this together."
"That's what I told her," Edward said wrapping his long strong arms around his mother and me, hugging us both.
"It may not happen often, but he might be right every once in a while over the course of your marriage," Esme said teasing her son. "Before we go in, I have just one more thing I want to say to you."
"Ok," Edward and I said in unison.
"It's mostly for you, Bella. Remember that your parents are in a bit of a tight spot. You know your mother is a dear friend of mine and she shares in my belief that you and Edward were always meant to be together."
"She does?"
"Yes. But don't take it the wrong way if they seem a bit subdued at first. They love you and want you to be happy, but they can't exactly jump up and down for joy in front of the Newtons since you are their daughter and the one who left Mike standing at the altar."
"Ugh," I groaned listening to her words and thinking about how Mike's parents' must be pointing the finger at my parents and giving them the "your daughter did this to our son" routine. Olivia Newton had made it no secret she was less than thrilled about Mike marrying me. She thought he belonged with a girl like Jessica Stanley who came from a more affluent family in Forks. I could only imagine the grief my parents had suffered because of what I had done. While I would never regret following my heart, I did feel a great deal of guilt over the situation I'd put my parents in.
"How are they?" I asked Esme.
She took my hand in hers and rubbed it gently to help relax me. "They're doing well considering the snotty mood Olivia is in. I think if it had been up to her she wouldn't have even bothered showing up today. So Mike and John must have really laid it on thick. And I'm not gonna lie to you, you running off and not leaving word really threw your parents to the wolves so to speak. Alice could only tell them so much until she had heard from you and Edward about what you were doing. But they love you and want you happy more than anything."
"I know they do," I told her. Edward pulled me against his side and kissed the top of my head, as if sensing I needed some more reassurance that we'd get through this okay.
"Take a deep breath and let's get this bit of unpleasant business taken care of and then we can send the Newtons on their way. After that's out of the way, Carlisle and I are going to treat us all to dinner to celebrate the addition of our new daughter to the family. Ok?"
"Ok," I answered as she hugged me once again.
We took a few steps towards the door when she stopped me and said, "Just for the record, Bella, I meant it when I said I always knew you and Edward belonged together." She then winked at me.
We made our way into the house and entering the Cullen's living room I found comfort in the familiar scenery…The family pictures, some of which included me … The fireplace where Alice and I had often roasted marshmallows … The warm taupe walls … The bright white sofa and loveseat with matching chair. I'd always loved how the white furniture provided a neutral background for the accent pillows scattered about in various jewel-toned hues, which added a punch of color and brightened the space. All of those familiar features helped to soothe me. It was my home away from home and it wrapped me in a blanket of warmth that helped calm my nerves a great deal. I had grown up in this living room, having spent as much time in it as I had my own, and being on familiar turf was a great relief to me.
The second the occupants of the room heard us, all heads snapped in our direction. I was immediately aware of Olivia Newton's angry glare on me, not that I had expected anything less from her. I was also aware of Mike's cold expression and how the hurt he was feeling had turned his normally ocean blue eyes into pools of cold, gray steel. Those eyes locked with my own and I shivered as a chill ran through me.
Feeling me shiver, Edward's hand gently tightened on mine in a silent show of love and support. I sucked in a long pull of air to steady myself in preparation of what was coming next. I closed my eyes briefly as I slowly released the air from my lungs and when I opened them a few seconds later, I focused on my parents. They had a series of mixed emotions playing on their faces. Everything from annoyance to worry, and the love I saw filling their eyes.
I noticed my father's gaze shift briefly down to where my and Edward's hands were clutched together, and how the edges of his lips were threatening to turn up into a smile. That told me everything I needed to know. If my father was on board and ready to support Edward and me, then I knew I had nothing to worry about. I just had to get on with my explanations as best I could and move past it and onto the life I was going to share with Edward.
As if sensing everyone was trying to find a place to start, Carlisle spoke up. "Look, this isn't an easy situation for any of us, so why don't we all head into the dining room for some coffee and allow Bella and Mike a few minutes alone to discuss what's happened?"
"What?" Olivia screeched. "You think I am going to leave my baby in here for her to rip his heart out again. He needs his mother's support. Frankly I don't think there is anything that little hussy can say that will make this any better. I always knew she was wrong for him, but he had to go and be stubborn like his fath—"
"Olivia," John Newton admonished as he grabbed his wife's arm and pulled her closer to him, whispering something in her ear.
"But—" she muttered out, only to be shushed by him again.
"He's a grown man, Olivia, and he is capable of listening to what Bella has to say on his own."
Olivia turned with a huff and started to storm out of the room, but stopped where she was in the doorway between the two rooms when Edward cleared his throat and started to speak. "I have something I'd like to say to everyone first."
Everyone turned their attention to Edward expect for Olivia. She remained where she was with her back to all of us.
"I know this is an incredibly difficult situation that my and Bella's actions have put us all in. While I am extremely sorry for any pain we have caused anyone, I will not apologize or feel bad about the fact that she is now married to me." With Edward's confession, I saw Mike's shoulders visibly slump and any remaining hope he may have had of luring me back to him fade away.
"I love Bella and have for many years. It was through stupid mistakes, missed chances, and a lack of speaking up and making our feelings known by both Bella and myself that ultimately put us all here in this position today. We both tried to move on and let go of that past and were never completely able to do so.
"Mike, I know this may not mean much coming from me, especially right now, but I am truly sorry you got caught up in the mistakes Bella and I made. I know she never intended to hurt you and after talking about everything with her extensively the past few days, I want you to know that her feelings for you were very real. She never purposefully led you on and her attempt to move on with you was sincere. But I also know that as genuine as her feelings were for you, the ones she's had for me all these years and still feels are stronger and ultimately what she truly wanted. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is, I wanted to say I am sorry for my part in anyone's feelings getting hurt and any embarrassment or inconvenience this has brought to any of you."
No one made any comments about Edward's statement. The only sound heard was that of Olivia's heels clicking against the hardwood floors of the hall that lead from the room. There were a few heads that nodded in understanding, my parents and even Mike's father, John, but not a word was spoken. Whether it was from not knowing what to say or not having anything to say, I wasn't sure.
As Edward's parents made their way past us on their way out of the room, Carlisle patted Edward on the shoulder as a sign of support and Esme kissed us both on the cheek as everyone exited the room except for Mike, myself and Edward.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you?" Edward asked as he turned to face me and take hold of my other hand so that we were standing facing each other with both our hands clasped together.
"I'm sure. This is something I need to do. I owe him that much—to give him whatever answers he might need."
Edward leaned down and kissed my cheek while quickly whispering he loved me and giving my hands one last squeeze before he released them and made his way into the next room with the others.
I glanced over at Mike after watching Edward disappear down the hall and began picking at my fingernails as I tried to figure out where to begin. I'm sorry seemed so out of place and totally cliché even if I was truly sorry for hurting Mike.
Before I could figure out what to say, Mike was apparently ready to talk. "What am I supposed to say, Bella? What do you want me to say? Do you expect me to tell you it's ok that you left me standing in the church on our wedding day to run off to marry your high school sweetheart instead? What?" He turned to stare out the window he was standing in front of as if he could no longer bare to look at me.
"No. That's not what I want or expect, Mike. You can say or ask me anything you want and I promise to answer you honestly."
He spun around quickly to face me again and chuckled sarcastically before saying, "Honest. You'll be honest with me? Don't you think it's a little late for that?"
"I'm sorry, Mike." I knew the words went nowhere to describe how bad I felt for what I'd done to him, but they had slipped out before I even realized it. At a complete loss of how to make him see I really was sorry, I then said, "I don't know what else to say. I never meant to hurt you. I know that might not be enough, or may seem really shallow right now, but it is the truth." Tears had begun to trickle down my face as I became more overwhelmed by all the emotions that were coursing through me. I knew that I had hurt him by what I'd done. But for him to act as though I wasn't regretful or that I had somehow expected him to just dismiss it like it wasn't a big deal hurt, and while it hurt it also told me he didn't know me as well he should have for someone I was about to marry. It was all just so very overwhelming and crying was how I always released my stress. I swiped them away and glanced up when I heard Mike let out a long sigh.
"You know what the worst part of this all is, Bella?" he asked as he took a few steps in my direction.
"No," I whispered while shaking my head at the same time.
"It's that I believe you," he murmured in a shaky voice that conveyed the depth of turmoil he was feeling. "I didn't come here prepared to believe anything you had to say to me, but I do."
My brows furrowed slightly in shock and confusion as I looked up at him and asked, "You do?" It wasn't that Mike was an unreasonable person. He actually was a really great guy. I just figured he'd be so hurt and angry that he wouldn't be able to focus on anything else. If he were to stand here and lash out angrily at me and accuse me of never caring for him, stringing him along, just about anything other than him saying he believed me, I would have found it easy to accept.
He blew out a long gust of air and scratched the top of his head. "I'm sure there are some who would think I'm crazy, my mother one of them. But yeah, Bella, I do believe you."
"Why?" Maybe it was stupid of me to question him when he was being so incredibly understanding, but I wanted—needed to know.
He closed the distance between us and stopped when he was standing only a couple of feet in front me. He started to reach for my left hand but suddenly stopped and grabbed the right one instead. The only reason I could think of for his actions was he didn't want to see another man's ring on my finger and I couldn't blame him for that.
He toyed with my fingers for a few seconds and then began. "Because I know you, Bella. There isn't a deceitful or malicious bone in your body. You are honest to a fault, almost to the point of being unable to lie because you do it so badly. Which I guess is why I don't understand how we got into this mess in the first place."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, knowing how difficult it is for you to lie, much less lie in a believable manner, says to me that you at least had some real feelings for me. Whether it's you're your hus—Edward said, and your feelings for him were stronger than the ones for me or if you were settling I don't know. But I do believe that you never meant for this to happen."
"Oh." Again I was shocked by the level of his understanding, which only added to the guilt I felt over hurting him.
"Maybe you could clear that up for me."
"What?"
"Just what were your real feelings for me? Did you ever love me, even a little? Did you just like me a lot? Or did you just settle for second best because you thought it was all you could ever have?"
"I believe that I did love you. But maybe I was never really in love with you. I'm sorry. I know that's not what you want to hear. I thought I had buried the part of me that had always yearned for Edward. The part that always wondered what if I had told him I loved him before he'd gone to Harvard. Or even during that one summer when he came home," I told him, being as completely honest with him as I could.
"But we were already dating that summer," he pointed out.
"I know."
"So that's why you pulled away that summer," Mike said with a sound of sudden realization in his voice. "Huh."
"What do you mean I pulled away?"
"You were distant, distracted and always seemed to have something on your mind. We didn't spend as much time together and you weren't as affectionate as you normally were. It was almost as if you didn't want me to touch you, like you were afraid someone would see and then when we were together it was like you were somewhere else in your head. It all makes sense now. It was all because of him. You were worried he'd see us together."
"Are you sure? Because I don't remember that."
"Yeah I'm positive. A guy knows when his usually affectionate girlfriend is suddenly not. You didn't even know it, I guess. But trust me it was there. And then when we returned to school that fall things somehow just fell back in sync for us. But I was never able to shake the feeling something was missing, even before then. It was just worse after."
"Wow," I said in shock.
"Geez, it's all making sense now," Mike said as he turned and paced back and forth across the floor a few times. "I never thought it was Cullen, but I always wondered if there was someone else that you were interested in, or never got over. I hadn't heard about you dating anyone and I never knew things were so serious between you and Cullen. But now I can totally see it."
"You can?"
"Yeah."
"Ok, could you maybe enlighten me a little?" I asked with a half-snort, making my comment sound a lot more sarcastic than I meant it too and I could instantly see a flicker of hurt skim across Mike's face. "I'm—"
"No. Don't say you're sorry again. I get it." This time it was his words that were coming out more harshly than he had meant for them too. But he quickly recovered when he realized he'd done exactly the same thing I had and was about to apologize for it. "I guess this isn't easy for either of us. This whole situation is so…"
"So crazy…So not what either of us were expecting?"
"Yeah. Something like that," he agreed with a light laugh.
"So you were going to tell me how everything makes sense to you now."
He nodded and then started talking again. "Just a lot of little shit that adds up now. How so many other things seemed to take precedence over spending time with me after that summer. Whether it was studying, or your friends, some school activity. When we were together it seemed forced sometimes. Like it was work or a chore, I guess because I don't know how else to describe it. I mean we had fun, you had a good time, but you never really let loose, let your guard down and let things with us really develop fully. You were always keeping me at a slight distance, never completely opening your heart to me. Hell you didn't even want to move in with me, in the apartment we picked out, until after the wedding."
I stood there and soaked in what he'd said. I concentrated as I thought about some of the best times we'd had together and tried to see what he had apparently saw so clearly. I tried to look at the memories as they flashed through my head as an outsider and see the things he mentioned. And what was scary was that I did. I saw how a lot of the time we appeared to be really close friends. There were some sweet and intimate moments, but I could see and even feel when I thought about those times that I had been holding back, never completely giving myself or my heart over to our relationship and never letting my feelings grow as they might have had I been all in like I should have been.
Mike was right. It was like I had been going through the motions and doing something I felt like I had to do instead of something I wanted to do. I'd felt something was missing from my life, but I'd never considered it had anything to do with Mike or Edward, at least not until I saw Edward at the meadow last Saturday. And that didn't mean that my relationship with Mike was unpleasant or a bad experience, because it hadn't been. We had gotten along quite well. There was some chemistry to a certain degree, but there was nothing like what Edward and I had between us. Not even close. What Edward and I felt for each other was all consuming. It stayed with us even through four years of separation and it was as if we were two halves of a whole. We completed each other.
The more I thought about my and Mike's relationship, I really saw how much work it had felt like it was to maintain it and with that came another realization and a few questions.
"Mike?"
"Yeah," he answered as he turned to face me. He had walked across the room to the front door and had stood looking out the side glass panel, allowing me a few moments to digest what he'd told me.
"I can see I was obviously so busy at the time and caught up in everything else in my life that I didn't see how truly hard it was to make things work between us. It shouldn't have been like that. We shouldn't have had to work that hard to be together."
"No you're right, it shouldn't have been," he admitted.
"It really shouldn't have and I guess if I hadn't been so busy with school, trying so hard to graduate in three years instead of four, I might have seen it since it's pretty clear when I look back now."
Getting completely off subject for a minute, Mike said, "Well you did do it in three and a half. That's something to be proud of, Bella."
"I know. Thanks."
His next question surprised me a little.
"Do you think it would have made a difference? You know, if maybe you hadn't been so wrapped up in graduating early, so focused on school?"
"No."
I saw hurt once again fill his eyes. "Wow. No hesitation there at all. Was it really that awful being with me?"
He didn't yet know the reason I could answer him so easily, so I quickly began to explain. "It's not the way you are thinking, Mike. I can answer you so quickly because you have pointed things out to me, made me see things I never did before. But in that process I also realized some other things too. I wasn't the only one who wasn't completely in our relationship."
"What are you saying, Bella? I loved you. I still love you. Are you implying that I wasn't totally committed to you? I wanted to marry you for Christ's sake, spend the rest of my life with you," Mike said loudly as he raised his voice and got angry for the first time today.
Funny how turning the tables on someone causes them to react, I thought. However I had come to a very important realization about our relationship as I saw how I had behaved over the course of the time we were together and I thought it was time he faced a few things too.
"Mike, just listen to me for a second. Please."
"Fine," he sighed.
"I am not saying that you didn't care for me. But tell me, if you saw all of these things in my behavior over the past few years, why didn't you ever question me on it? Why did you stay with me if you didn't feel as though I was one hundred percent committed to you? Why did you ask me to marry you, Mike? Can you answer those questions for me? And do it honestly?" I paused for a moment when I saw the gears in his head begin to kick into overdrive.
When I saw the preverbal light bulb go off and the look of knowing what I was talking about spread across his face, I continued. "You made me see that I kept you at arm's length the whole time we were together because deep down inside I was still in love with Edward and had never let him go. But that only explains my side of things, Mike. Why did you stay with me knowing I wasn't really in love with you? What was in it for you?"
He sat down on the sofa behind him and leaned forward, cradling his head in the palms of his hands with his arms perched on his knees while I sat next to him.
"I had hoped that you would grow to love me. And well…you weren't her," he mumbled.
"Her who?" I asked suddenly confused.
"Jessica Stanley."
As soon as her name was spoken I had the same sort of epiphany about my and Mike's relationship that he'd had in the beginning of our conversation. All the pieces clicked into place for me.
"Isn't Jessica who your mother wanted you to be with?"
"Yeah. But you are so different. You're sweet, caring, full of life, and material things don't matter to you. You were so…"
"Easy?" I asked, finishing the sentence for him.
"Yes. Incredibly easy to be with. And so unlike my mother. Jesus, Bella, do you realize what a huge mistake we almost made?"
"Yes I do," I said with a smile, happy that he now felt that way too. "So, I was a way to get back at your mom, huh?"
"Bella, I…I don't want you to think that, that was the only reason. You are a great girl, but…"
"But what?"
"I was desperate to get my mom off my back. Mrs. Stanley and my mom were constantly trying to set Jess and I up. While Jess was all for it, I was not. And my mom didn't understand since I wasn't dating anyone else."
"So that's when you asked me out."
"Yeah. And you're a great girl, Bella. Any man would be lucky to have you. You're smart, beautiful and you are a truly great person. I guess I thought that once I graduated and got married, my mother would see me as an adult, a man capable of making his own decisions and she'd quit trying to interfere in my life. So I figured if we were still together when we graduated, there must be something between us and I'd propose. Only I got antsy and did it early. Maybe I'm the one who should be apologizing to you."
"Nah. We both made mistakes and I think it worked out the way it was supposed to."
"That's easy for you to say. You're the one with the happily ever after."
"You will have yours too, Mike. You are a great guy and you're not anything like your mother and one day you will meet the right girl and you'll be incredibly happy. She'll look at you like you hung the moon for her and you'll love her so much you won't know where you end and she begins. And maybe…nah, never mind."
"What? Tell me what you were going to say."
"I was gonna say that maybe your mom will like her too. But that might be pushing it a little," I told him. I couldn't help giggling a little when I saw the knowing smile that spread across his face.
"That might be a bit much to ask for," he agreed with a soft laugh of his own.
"Thanks for being so understanding," I said softly as I leaned over and gave Mike a hug.
"You're welcome," he said.
I started to get up and go find Edward and the rest of our family, but felt Mike tug on my arm and say. "Bella?"
"Yeah, Mike," I responded as I turned around to face him where he was still sitting on the couch.
"Good luck. And…I…I hope Cullen knows how lucky he is."
"He does," came Edward's voice from behind me.
A wide smile took shape on my face as I pivoted on my foot and saw Edward leaning against the doorway near the hall he had disappeared down a little while ago. He pulled himself off the wall and made his way over to me. He stopped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned around to place a soft kiss on my cheek.
"How long were you standing there?" I asked him as I leaned back into his warm and inviting embrace while resting the back of my head on his chest.
"Just a few minutes. Mike's parents, mostly his mom, were starting to get a bit…edgy so I thought I'd come check on you guys."
Mike snorted and said, "I bet my mom is just a bundle of joy in there right now."
"That's one way to put it," Edward retorted. "She had a few choice words to say to me. Some of which included home wrecker, wedding crasher, fiancée thief, along with some others I couldn't quite make out in the high pitched voice she used during the tantrum she was throwing. But I did hear enough in here to make a guess that the two of you have talked things out and things are as good as can be expected."
"Yes we did," Mike said. "I think we helped each other see some things that we were missing. So I believe it's time I get my parents and we leave the two of you to celebrate with your parents."
As Mike started to walk past us, Edward held his hand out to him and said, "I don't expect us to ever be friends, but I'd like to hope that we can at least set aside any hard feelings we might have towards one another."
"Sure, sure," Mike said as he reached out and took Edward's hand and gave it a friendly shake. He then left the room to go let his parents know that he was ready to leave.
Edward spun me around to face him and tightened his hold on me, pressing me against him. "You ok? We can go upstairs and talk if you need to."
"I want to tell you everything, but not now. Right now I think I just need to get something to eat. I'm starving."
"You should have eaten more for breakfast," he teased and then planted a less than chaste kiss on my lips.
"Hmm, I would have had my incredibly sexy husband not kept me in bed so long this morning."
"Guess it's a good thing Dad wants to take us all to dinner then."
"Yup," I replied popping the 'p' as I did.
After a long lingering kiss, we made our way into the other room. Mike and his parents had already left through the side door that led straight to the driveway, which was a relief for me. I was grateful to not have to deal with his mother; I had done it enough over the time I was with him.
Jasper and Alice were more or less politely asked to leave the room when Esme asked them to go make sure Edward's room had clean linens in the bathroom or anything else we'd need for the next couple of days after she offered to let us stay with her and Carlisle until we headed to Boston. We then spent a short time explaining to our parents how we had pined for each other all these years, about the regrets we had over neither of us ever admitting our feelings and how we were sorry for any embarrassment, hassle or misfortune they suffered due to us running off to Vegas. We even offered to cover the expense of my and Mike's wedding since my parents had paid for something that never took place.
However my mom and dad insisted that wasn't necessary, that their only regret was that they didn't get to witness Edward and me getting married. Edward and I apologized and promised to show them the pictures that were taken during the ceremony when we all went out to dinner later. Both sets of our parents were excited to see the pictures and assured us that even though they didn't like having missed us getting married, they just wanted us to be happy and judging from the ear splitting grins and the way we refused to let go of one another, they were fairly certain we were.
We talked with them about our plans for Boston and what I was intending to do about my job. Once Alice and Jasper came back down, Edward got our suitcase out of the car and we both went to change clothes and freshen up for dinner. As we did, we talked about getting my stuff packed up and what I had that I wanted to take with me. I was so excited to begin my new life with him in Boston and the smile on his face, the love in his voice and the gleam in his eyes every time he looked at me, told me that he was too. It might have taken us four years to get to this point, but I knew we were finally on the path we were meant to be on.
Thanks for reading. There will be one more chapter to this little love story so we can get a peek at their future and happy ever after.
Let me know what you thought,
EA