Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the songs used in this Fanfic.

A/N: All songs are by The Rasmus. This is a SongFic. Yaoi, LXLight.

All italized words are lyrics of the song. BTW, the plot of this FanFic are quite in different order.

Enjoy!

Song 5:

Justify

Light wandered into the woods. He doesn't plan on getting lost there or be eaten by wild, viscous animals. He was just there to bury something.

He pulled out his spade and started digging on the moist soil.

"oi, Light, what are you doing?" Ryuk, his shinigami, asked Light.

"When I say discard, it means I'm giving up my ownership on the Death Note." Light answered as he put the death note into the dug soil.

"I can't object, but why?"

"I have a plan."

Meanwhile, L was still sleeping. After a few more hours, he woke up from hearing Light's voice. He went out of his room.

"Oh, Ryuuzaki, you're awake." Soichiro said.

"Yes." L and Light exchanged gazes. Light noticed that L's eyes were sad, but he said to himself that he wouldn't fall for it.

L saw that Light's eyes were angry and hurt. He regretted what he did, but he decided that it was the best.

But it seems that L was lost even more without Light. He can't concentrate that much anymore, even Light's father noticed that.

'So close, so far, I'm lost in time

Ready to follow a sign,

If there was only a sign.

The last goodbye burns in my mind,

Why did I leave you behind?

Guess it was too high to climb.'

Light slammed the door close as he entered L's room. It was their room, but now it was L's. He went there to get his things and transfer them to the new room he requested.

Even with all the pain and hatred he was feeling, the question of hope still lingered in his mind.

'Give me a reason,

Why would you want me

To live and die,

Living a lie.'

L noticed that Light was carrying his things when he got out of the room.

Loving L was one of the most important reason or purpose of Light's life. It has greater importance than cleaning the world out of criminals. It was the reason to alter his mind into thinking that he is living his life in an evil path.

'You were the answer,

All that I needed to justify,

Justify my life.'

L followed Light into his new room. Light noticed it yet he ignored him. L kept getting closer and closer to Light so he dropped his belongings and faced L.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"I just hate seeing you like that."

'This damn straight-forward stupid guy…' Light thought.

Light really hates it. L said that it was all a lie, the times they were together, and that was the reason he was looking like that. And now, now L said to him that he doesn't like seeing him like that? 'I mean, has he become stupid or something?' Light thought.

"What?" That was all Light could manage to say.

"You know Light, you could make someone else fall in-love with you."

"I don't care. And so what if I can? It doesn't mean I can fall in-love with that someone else." Light angrily replied.

'Someone as beautiful as you,

You could do much better it's true.

That didn't matter to you.'

"I just don't want to see you like that." L repeated.

"What am I to you, L?"Light asked.

That was a tough question, especially for L. But he must stand up for the lie he begun.

"You're one of my suspects."L answered with his tongue tied.

"Fuck you." Light turned away and couldn't say anything anymore. He just thought that maybe he wasn't enough for L.

'I tried so hard to be the one,

It's something I couldn't do,

Guess I was under the gun.'

When Light got home, he was shocked to see Sachiko and Sayu having dinner with Misa.

"What are you doing here, Misa?" Light asked.

"Don't be rude, Raito-kun, she came all way here just to see you." His mother said. Light gave out a little sigh since he can't do anything about it, anyway.

Misa followed Light into his room. "Light-kun, do you still love that Ryuuzaki?"

Light was shocked. Did she know what happened between him and L? does she even know they love, no, he loves him? "What do you mean?"

"Come on, Light-kun, I'm stupid but not that stupid not to notice that you are madly in-love with him."

"I'm not in-love with him!" what Misa said triggered Light to remember what L did to him, so he answered with a lie. "Prove it, then." Misa dared Light.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?" Light agreed since he was burning with anger and pain.

"Fuck me, Light-kun." Light was surprised that Misa has 'fuck' in her vocabulary.

Light's mind was blank so he took off his clothes and stripped Misa.

It ended quite shortly but Misa felt satisfied. She soon fell asleep. Light kept awake.

He said to himself that sooner or later, he must let go of Misa and start fresh. He will say the word after all. And once he did, Misa is no longer use for him.

'It's only right

That I should go and find myself

Before I go ruin someone else.'

Song 5.5:

Ghost of love

While Misa slept beside him sleeping and it was still early to wake up, Light buried himself in his thoughts.

Light had a flashback of his memories, sweet memories of L.

As he was thinking, he put on his earphones and listened to a song.

(Apparently, this song fits perfectly.)

'I. I am near you, you don't see me

Can you feel me, I'm closer than close.

-Does it hurt? Does it burn?

Do you know what you've lost?

Are you scared of the dark?

*Now that you're gone, all that remains

Is the Ghost of love.

Deep in my mind, I hear the chains,

Of the Ghost of love.

II. You are falling, down underneath

You'll be crawling, lower than low.

-Can you sleep? Can you breathe?

When you know what you've done?

Tell me where will you run?

(Repeat *)

-You were flawless, cruel and thoughtless

And all that you left of me

Is the Ghost of love.

-I'm fading, I'm barely breathing

Can't hold on

I'm dying, I must be bleeding

Won't be long.

(Repeat *)

After the song, Light pulled out his earphones. Besides the fact that it was exactly how he was feeling, but could L really have been hurt by what he did, too?

If he is, then maybe Light would have a chance back into L's heart, but it was another painful risk. Another damn painful risk.

The possibility of saying 'Discard' would erase his memory of his love for L came into Light's mind, but before he can even convince himself that it was possible, Light took a glimpse of Misa. She's a living proof that it won't work. She'd given up her Death Note once, and now, she still acts like he's stalker.

Light gave out a long-drawn sigh.